Strange Girl But Effective
by doozer21
Summary: AU: Sadistic Levi meets masochistic OC counterpart. Mostly very adult sub/dom dynamic stuff and lots of smut. There's some violence (but in a good way, I think), there's some action, there's some comic relief, there's friendship. It's all dark and sexy, but then it's adorbs, then dark and sexy again and so on and so forth. Springles and Jearmin as well for people who like fluff.
1. Runner's High

**AU because this story basically exists nowhere specifically in the chronology of the anime or manga. The Survey Corps has expanded and has a new headquarters, Levi's elite squad is made up of the 104th, but they're older now - like let's say 24 to 26 - but not much more mature. Krista is still named Krista and not Historia Reiss because I just cannot deal. There will be many references to Levi's obsessive compulsive neatness because that is one of my favorite things about his character. I like to refer to Hanji as Hange, just because.**

**I don't own Attack on Titan. I do own my OC Erna Raban. I own the shit out of her.**

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"I'm adding a new member to your squad" said Erwin, walking with Levi through one of the courtyards within the current Survey Corps headquarters. He had arrived about an hour ago after seeing to a short reconnaissance mission. Levi's and about 10 other squads had remained at headquarters. The new strategy of the Survey Corps was to only deploy around half of its forces on any mission outside the walls when possible so as to eliminate the possibility of the complete decimation of the entire Corps at any one time.

Levi frowned. "Don't make things difficult. I don't need the distraction of training and assimilating a new squad member. The team I have now works well together."

"This one will be easy for you. Erna Raban - Graduated 1st in the 106th trainee squad. – "

"Tch. Young." Levi interrupted. He calculated: the 106th was one of the most recent classes of trainees, putting Erna Raban at best around the age of 19, (only five or six years younger than the 104th) and at worst around the age of 16.

Erwin pressed on, ignoring Levi's scowl "She doesn't act it. She could rival you in humorlessness. She's been a regular soldier in the Survey Corps for less than a year and has more titan kills and assists than any other soldier still living, including anyone currently on your squad – "

"Excluding me."

"Excluding you, but you've been doing this longer, old man" Erwin teased Levi, lightly elbowing him in the ribs.

"You're skipping something. Why not promote her to team leader?" Levi asked. He was suspicious of the whole thing.

"I thought about it, only very briefly. It wouldn't work. She doesn't have a will to lead. She wouldn't be very inspiring to a team of soldiers anyway. You'll see. She's passionless - not apt to give highly emotional, motivational speeches off the cuff like your other recruits. She's an invaluable tool, not a leader. You don't ask the hammer to lead the carpenter." Erwin stopped walking and faced Levi, now giving him a serious look.

"So you think I can use her." It was a statement, not a question.

"I think I want her on the kind of high risk missions that your squad is assigned. If there is a mission that we cannot afford to lose, I want her there."

"The members I have now, they've known each other since training. They work perfectly as a team. I don't want a new 'tool' messing up that dynamic. You have the final word and I'll respect your decision, but I'm against it."

"I do have the final word." Erwin paused, "She's with one of the teams on reconnaissance. I'll send her word and she'll report to you here at 7." That was all he had to say. He turned on his heel and walked away, leaving the courtyard before Levi could object further.

"Tch." Though Levi was pissed, he didn't move to follow Erwin. He was on record that this was a bad idea and that was enough. He moved to go back inside the castle that made up the Survey Corps headquarters and to his office and attached living quarters to clean. He thought best while cleaning.

The abandoned castle had been the safest structure found by the Survey Corps in between Wall Maria and Wall Rose. It was considered a temporary headquarters taken up for the purpose of keeping the Survey Corps closer to recapturing Wall Maria and therefore closer to titans, but within a relatively safe distance if they needed to retreat to Wall Rose. Outermost there was a moat, filled with water when there was enough rain but otherwise it was a dry, 16 ft deep ditch. Inside the moat was a stone wall about 30m in height, still intact, on top of which they could set cannons. The only opening in the wall was for the drawbridge. There were about two to three miles of open space between the outer wall and the castle structure where there was open space for training and outbuildings like the stables. Additionally there was a large, main courtyard in the center of the castle which most rooms looked out on. The inside of the castle served mostly to house the Survey Corps members when they were in between missions and the city. Due to the large size of the castle and the relatively small size of the Survey Corps, it was usually possible for each soldier to have their own sleeping quarters. Larger apartments were issued on a basis of seniority. Regular soldiers would get a single room, big enough for a bed and some furniture. Team leaders had larger bedrooms and private bathrooms. Levi and some other squad leaders like Hange had large apartments with several rooms. That is where Levi should have been at 9 o clock, not standing in the entrance courtyard, looking out over the open drawbridge and waiting. Most of the soldiers who had been out had returned from the short reconnaissance mission by 7, there were only three teams still outside the walls. They did not go far, or long, so there were relatively few casualties – only two reported dead. If Erna Raban did not report to him soon, Levi would call it as 3 dead.

Just as he was starting to feel conflicted about his feelings - sadness at any loss of human life but also relief that he wouldn't need to train the new recruit if she turned out to be dead – he saw a lone horse and rider galloping towards the drawbridge. They slowed to a trot once inside the wall and Levi could make her out more clearly. She was dirty, sweaty, and bloody, breathing hard. Though her face was partially hidden under the hood of her green cloak, he could make out her hair color – dark black, making her skin look paler than what was normal for most Survey Corps soldiers since they spend a large portion of their lives outside. Without even slowing her horse to a halt, she dismounted in front of him and saluted mechanically with her fist over her heart. "Erna Raban, reporting for duty." Her eyes were grey and though exhausted, they were emotionless.

Levi circled her, looking her up and down. She was only slightly shorter than him and lean, all around smaller than he expected based on what Erwin had told him. He stopped in front of her, staring at her and still saying nothing. He was annoyed. Half of him was pleased that one more soldier survived a mission outside and half of him felt his life would be easier if she had disappeared. Her rigid, emotionless expression did nothing to make him feel less annoyed. She should look remorseful or at least slightly anxious. He wanted to unnerve her, so he stared at her in silence for what seemed like an eternity.

Erna's body was weak and it was physically difficult to continue standing at attention, but mentally she felt nothing but relief. The moment she got the message that she was being removed from her team and folded into Captain Levi's squad, she felt the shock of being untethered, without clear purpose, "free." She hated it. She rode as fast as she could back to headquarters to again be under someone's command and to carry out orders.

Erna Raban, unlike other trainees, had flourished under the harsh atmosphere of the military's training camp. She executed any order with the quickness and efficiency of an automaton, working herself to exhaustion, never complaining, never seeming to have a rebellious bone in her body or a contrary thought in her head. Erna was happiest in the military system. Before joining the military, she had felt utterly lost, without any sense of self preservation. In the military everything was simple: her superior officers ordered Erna to kill titans and she did so, they ordered her to save other soldiers from harm and she did so, they ordered her to continue living and she continued to do so. Erna was afraid of nothing except being on her own again with no one to tell her to survive. She feared that without outside encouragement, she would not feel the drive and would give up on surviving. When training was over and it was time for everyone to decide which branch they would join, there was no question or hesitation for Erna. She chose to join the Survey Corps because they were the least idle, they would always have something for her to do. Unlike most people, she hated to have free time. She never wanted "time to think," she wanted only to act and the best way to be constantly acting and executing quickly was to leave the thinking to others.

For the duration of her hard gallop, all the way from her team's position to the point at which she stood now, she let herself think only of finding her new superior officer, the whole time pushing away a feeling of terror at the thought of being free and alone. So now, although her body ached and her muscles were weak and wanting to rebel, she was grateful and relieved to be standing at attention. Even if rain began to pour in buckets around them and titans began tearing at the walls, she would stand at attention, her mind a blank slate, until told to do otherwise.

"You're late," said Levi after almost a minute.

Without hesitation Erna replied, "I apologize, Captain Levi."

Levi waited, again trying to unnerve this new recruit with his silence. Her expression remained the same and she showed no sign of speaking further. He had to ask, "You don't want to tell me your excuse for being late?"

"You don't seem like the type to accept excuses, so no, Sir," she replied with complete honesty.

Inwardly, the response enraged Levi, but outwardly he wouldn't show it. She was right, he didn't accept excuses, but he had wanted her to make one so that he could tell her that excuses were unacceptable and discipline her, shame her, do something to make her change her expression. In a way her decision to not try to make an excuse took some of his power away. He could not have been more annoyed.

Levi looked down at Erna coldly, "Start running... Laps... Now."

Erna made no response but to nod and began to remove the pack from her shoulders.

"Keep your pack on and your gear. Go!" Levi could no longer hide his anger. It didn't startle Erna, she didn't flinch, she just took off running. A soldier from the special Veterinary Corps came and took her horse away to one of the stables to be cared for. Levi stood still where he was, fists clenched.

Krista, Armin, and Jean watched out one of the castle windows.

"I heard we're adding a squad member. That must be her. Erna Raban." Armin said quietly.

Krista's brow furrowed, "She looks so young, poor girl."

Armin replied thoughtfully, "The intelligence I have says she's 19… And she has more titan kills and kill assists than most of us combined…"

Krista only continued to look worried, watching the dirty, exhausted girl run laps around the castle in the dark. Jean's jaw dropped briefly, but he caught himself and tried to appear and sound disinterested, "Ah well, it won't matter if Levi kills her. I've never seen him actually stick around to watch a recruit run laps. She must have really pissed him off."

Erna was on her second lap. Each circuit around the castle was about 2 to 4 miles depending on how close one stuck to the walls. Everything hurt and it was hard to breathe, but she was good at ignoring signals her body sent to her. She let herself hear and think of nothing but her blood rushing, except each time she ran past Levi she listened in case he should tell her to stop. He wouldn't. Despite her best effort her pace got slower and slower, but she did continue on at what could technically be called a run. Finally, at the end of her fourth lap Levi barked at her to stop, only because it had begun to rain and he didn't want to be out in it. She stopped without turning to face him, her head rolled backwards, eyes looking to the sky her mouth opened for a moment and caught some rain. Her arms hung uselessly and she seemed suspended. As Levi began to walk over to her, she fell forward flat on her face, completely unconscious. Levi put his foot in her ribs and shoved her over onto her back. Her face was now even dirtier than when she arrived and now there was grass in her hair. He waited two seconds. "Get up. I'm not carrying you, you're filthy," he nudged her with his boot again.

Erna's eyes opened, for a moment she looked disoriented, even confused, then her eyes affixed on Levi, looking at him questioningly.

"Get up."

She rolled over and onto her knees, hands still in the dirt, everything aching, even her tongue. She paused there because while she did very much want to, she knew that she could not get up. She knew her body had limits.

"Come on, I'm not carrying you," Levi said as he knelt down to take her left arm and drape it over his shoulders. He pulled her up to a standing position and put his right arm around her waist, "I'll help you if you make the effort to walk."

Erna put one foot in front of the other. Everything was a haze, but that didn't particularly bother her.

Levi continued to admonish her, "First you arrive two hours late, then you make me stand out in the rain, and now you're getting me dirty." They passed into the castle, made some turns down some corridors. He stopped in front of a wooden door like all the others and while still supporting her pushed it open with his foot, "This is your room." It was small, just big enough for the bed, dresser, and washbasin. He helped her over to the bed and let her fall onto it. "Be in my office at 7am sharp. Don't keep me waiting and don't come without cleaning yourself up first," Levi said this as he left, not bothering to look back or make sure she comprehended, he closed the door behind him.

Erna felt the bliss of being utterly exhausted and lying in bed. She fell asleep without taking off her cloak or gear. She didn't even move to pull the blanket over herself.

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**(A/N)**

**The OC's first name, "Erna" was supposed to be a placeholder for "another archaic German name that I will insert later," but by the time I got around to thinking about picking a good name I had grown too attached to "Erna." It has the basic qualities that I wanted for her name - not too many syllables and not too pretty or girly. When I hear it in my head, it's with the Dutch pronunciation, "Air-Nah." Her surname, "Raban," is an old high german name meaning "Raven."**

**This is my very first fanfic ever. In fact, this is the very first fiction thing I have ever written, so please be merciful with the comments! **


	2. Uncharacteristic

**Some hints of sub/dom-ness. ****Also, I promise that more characters come into this soon. Hang in there with me as I get my OC established. She is a complicated lady (not really.)**

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Erna Raban had a strong internal clock that woke her up at 6:40am. If not for that, she could have slept for 18 more hours. She opened her eyes and stretched, sliding her legs over the edge of the bed until her feet were flat on the floor and popping herself up and out of bed rather than taking her time to wake up. She finally took off her pack, then her cloak, and unbuckled and removed the harness of her 3DMG. Her muscles were tight and she stretched some more, even though she knew no amount of stretching would relieve the soreness and fatigue she was feeling… for the first time in a long time she had come up against her limit while running around the castle for Captain Levi and in a way she had loved it. She had almost felt a kind of euphoria just before stopping and passing out. She had heard something once about a carefree, blissful feeling that overtakes a person just before dying of starvation or drowning and she thought it must be like that. Now, instead of bliss she felt pain, which she thought wasn't too bad either.

She undressed and cleaned herself up, thoroughly scrubbing her face before putting on fresh clothes. She brushed out her long, black curls and pulled them back into a tight bun again. She couldn't remember the last time she had worn her hair down and yet she never thought to cut it. She looked in the mirror and saw some stray blades of grass she missed in her long, side swept bangs. She picked up the hairbrush again and went to brush them out, but then stopped herself. She looked in the mirror again. She reasoned with herself, "It's only two blades of grass. He won't even notice. And if he does notice, what will he even do?" but she knew that deep down she was doing this because, for some reason that she couldn't explain, she hoped that he would notice.

At 6:59am Erna knocked twice on the door to Captain Levi's office. She didn't hear him give her permission to enter, but she did anyway reasoning that it would be better to enter without permission than to be even one second late.

Levi sat behind his desk with his back to the door, facing the large windows of his office that looked out onto the inner courtyard of the castle.

Erna closed the door and moved to the center of the room. Levi didn't turn around. She wasn't sure he was even aware of her presence and was about to clear her throat when he finally said, "Sit."

Erna looked around the room, "Sir. There aren't any chairs."

"Then kneel," Levi's voice was cold. Erna dropped to her knees and waited. "Why are you here?" he finally asked.

"You told me to be here at 7."

"No, not here," he was frustrated at her obtuseness, "Why are you HERE? Why join the Survey Corps? What's your reason?"

Erna had never thought about the answer to this question because no one had ever asked it of her, though she had heard other trainees in her class talk about their reasons for joining up from time to time, she never felt moved to join the conversation. What did it matter the reason they were there so long as they were there? Right now, more than anything, she wondered what Captain Levi wanted to hear. She couldn't guess the right answer, so she decided to answer as honestly as possible. "To be useful," was the most concise and accurate summation of her reason that she could come up with. That appeared to be good enough because he didn't press her further on the subject.

"How many titan kills and kill assists do you have?" he asked, but he almost sounded bored. Like he had to ask but wasn't interested in the answer.

"I don't know," Erna paused, "Not enough."

Her answer caught Levi off guard. It was the first time her voice showed any emotion. He took a second and tried to sound unfazed in his response, "There isn't a soldier in the entire military who doesn't know their kill and assist statistic and you're telling me you really don't know when you have one of the highest on record?"

"What does it matter?" this she almost shouted. She composed herself again, "No matter how many titans I kill, it's never enough. Why keep track? Is there a number at which I'll stop? Is there a number of titan kills I can reach that will take away the guilt of surviving when so many others die?" She felt she was being too emotional. She didn't like conversations. She liked to keep her answers to questions brief and completely to the point but something about Captain Levi and the way he spoke to her so coldly, almost contemptuously, tore at her and made her feel uncharacteristically emotional. She felt like she had just lost a small battle, and she decided to shut up.

Levi couldn't deny that he was moved by the girl's sad sincerity, but also he felt something else – some sort of smug pride or satisfaction at having broken through her stony, emotionless mask. He got up from his chair and stood in front of her. She was still kneeling, head down and shoulders hunched. Levi leaned down on one knee and tilted her chin up to look at him. Her eyes were sad and beautiful, but otherwise she had regained her composure and erased any other signs of the emotions her voice had betrayed. Not even her lip quivered. It was a pity, he thought, he had wanted to see her cry. Then he noticed, "You didn't even bother to brush your hair before coming here." He released her face and stood up, walking back to his desk.

"Sir! I did!" Erna stood up.

As quickly as she said it, Levi turned on his heel and stood in front of her again. He snatched the grass from her bangs, taking some of her hair with it. "Then what is this?"

"Sir…" Erna didn't know what to say. And she didn't understand what she was feeling. Hadn't this been her goal? Otherwise why would she have left her bangs as they were? It didn't make any sense, but somehow his anger thrilled her.

Levi turned away again going to sit in his desk chair facing the windows. "This actually makes things easier. I had been trying to think of something for you to do besides training, since you couldn't even manage running laps last night. If you're so intent on being a mess, you're assigned to stable duty until I order otherwise."

Erna stood rooted to the floor, not in defiance, the order didn't bother her. It was just… "Um, Captain Levi, it's just... –"

Levi turned around. "What?"

"It's just that I skipped dinner last night and breakfast this morning, so could I –"

"No. Eat when you've finished work."

"Hai!" Erna saluted and left.

Levi wasn't unaware that he was being cruel. He wondered why. He had planned on making things difficult for the new recruit even before meeting her, but he hadn't planned on going this far. There was something about her that he couldn't pin down. It was like she invited his cruelty. She made it satisfying to go too far in punishing her. He watched the rest of his team run through training exercises in the courtyard below just in time to spot Hange interrupt them to take Eren by the arm and begin talking and smiling as she dragged the poor boy away. Levi opened a window and shouted down "Hange! What are you doing?!"

"Ah, Levi, I only need him for a few experiments! I'll bring him right back! No worries!" She ran into the castle, dragging Eren with her.

"Hange Zoe!" he yelled after her, but it was too late, they were out of sight. Even if they hadn't been, she wouldn't have stopped. "Stubborn, single-minded, shit-glasses…" he muttered to himself and slammed the window shut.

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At 9am Erna was nearly finished mucking the twentieth stall in the first barn, so she was a third of the way through the sixty total stalls. "That's just this one stable," she thought to herself. There were 10 stables with sixty stalls each. She didn't know how many she was expected to clean, but it wouldn't bother her if she had to muck all six hundred. Dirty work was fine with her. What was bothering her was her stomach. She felt like an idiot. "Why did I ask permission to eat? I could just as easily have kept my mouth shut and stopped by the kitchen on the way here." She worked faster. Her own behavior was puzzling her and she wasn't used to it. "So stupid," she whined. She finished mucking the stall and tossed her pitchfork into the wheelbarrow to move to the next one. "Aish, what's wrong with me? My brain must be addled from starvation and exhaustion." She took the handles of the wheelbarrow, lifted, and looked up to see Levi standing outside the stall. She dropped the wheelbarrow and blushed, embarrassed at the possibility that he had caught her talking to herself.

Levi had caught most of Erna's conversation with herself and was enjoying her embarrassment. "Take a break," he tossed her a roll wrapped in a napkin. She caught it and for a second looked confused. Then her eyes lit up and she clutched the roll to her chest. It almost made him smile, not because he had made her happy, but because he had broken her to the point that a five minute break and a roll were now a reason to be overjoyed.

Erna jumped up and down, "Domo arigato, Levi-sama!"

"Five minutes. I want this and the second stable clean before dark," he scowled at her and she straightened up, turning serious again, and saluted.

"Hai, Captain!" she waited for him to turn around and walk away. The second that he was out of sight she let out a big sigh and sat down in the clean straw, inhaling the roll in only a few seconds. She sat perfectly still for the remainder of her break, thinking of absolutely nothing. Then she shot up and got back to work, completely reenergized.

Levi came back just at sunset, expecting Erna to be nowhere near finished. He walked through the first barn which was spotless, even by his standards. He went to the second barn and found her just finishing the very last stall. He was actually impressed, but would never let her know it, "They need to bring the horses in from grazing. Are you finished?"

Erna tossed her pitchfork into the wheelbarrow and saluted, "Hai, Captain Levi! I await further instruction."

Coming from anyone else, that last statement would have sounded sarcastic or patronizing. This girl, however, sounded genuinely enthused at the prospect of more work. It was irritating. "First of all get yourself cleaned up, you're disgusting." He turned around and began walking back to the castle, "Beyond that I don't care what you do. Stable duty seems to agree with you. Same thing tomorrow."

Erna followed him, but stopped at the stable entrance and looked out at the sunset turning the sky into a composition of fiery reds and oranges. She stretched her arms over her head and thought for the first time in a long time that sunsets were rather beautiful. She took a few deep breaths of fresh air before running back to the castle.

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**(A/N)**

**Thank you so much if you are reading this! I probably love you!**


	3. Unrequited Love

**(A/N) Here are the other characters I promised! Also some intense violence, but not so much in an angsty, victimization-y kind of way... you'll see. There's a finally a hint of smut towards the end. It's a teaser. Also, there's a quote from the anime! Which I do not own. Did I mention that I don't own Attack on Titan in any form? I don't. Boy, disclaimers are fun to work into a brief chapter summary.**

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Erna emerged from one of the shared washrooms on her room's corridor after one of her longest baths in days. It felt like a whole new job in itself to scrub away the smell of the stables, but she always eventually succeeded and actually looked presentable. "Even Levi couldn't disapprove," she said to herself, "At least not justifiably." She had begun to count on the idea that he would always find something to disapprove of. He was beginning to seem almost predictable that way. She got faster and more efficient at mucking the horses' stalls every day, but instead of praise he heaped more work on her. Earlier in the day she had finished cleaning three of the ten stables well before dark, so he ordered her to scrub out and refill the water buckets in each of the stalls she'd cleaned. She only just finished as the colors of the sunset were fading to black.

Erna arrived at the kitchen where the Survey Corps members on kitchen detail were just starting to put things away. In her week at headquarters so far she learned that for the most part everyone ate dinner around 6pm, but she never finished working in time to eat with everyone else. This suited her just fine as she was completely indifferent when it came to the company of others. Socialization was something she could take or leave. The kitchen staff offered to heat something up for her, but she told them not to trouble themselves, "Food is still food whether it's warm or not." She took her dinner and went to the adjoining dining room filled with long tables and sat alone at the end of the nearest one.

Jean, Eren, Armin, Mikasa, and Connie were seated a couple of tables away. The squad had finished training later than usual thanks to more interference from Hange. Jean was the only one who noticed Erna come in and sit down. He left his seat and went and sat across from her at the other table. Armin nodded to Eren, "That's our new member, Erna Raban."

Mikasa added, "This is the first we've seen her so close. So far we've only noticed her from a distance when Levi makes her run laps." Seeing another soldier being made to run laps was like seeing a burning building. If you saw it out of the corner of your eye, you would always stop what you were doing, watch, and feel glad that it wasn't happening to you.

Eren stood up, "We should go say hi."

Connie stopped him, "Leave Jean alone for a couple minutes. I get the feeling he's working on something and it'll be fun to see him crash and burn."

Eren looked at Connie, confused, "What does that mean?"

Connie simply said, "He has a thing for girls with black hair."

Mikasa smirked. Eren sat down, "I thought it was weird for him to be so welcoming." Everyone tried to act like they were very interested in their food and they were not at all eavesdropping on the other table.

Jean took the seat across from Erna who didn't raise her eyes or stop eating. He didn't let this fact deter him, "I'm Jean Kirstein, one of your new team members."

Erna stopped eating and looked him in the eyes, "Erna Raban." She shook his hand, but that was as far as her politeness went. She went right back to eating.

"So where are you from?" Jean pressed on.

"106th Trainee Squad."

"No, I mean before that. Which district?" Jean clarified, thinking she didn't understand the question. Erna's facial expression didn't change in the slightest and she was silent for a few seconds before he decided that she didn't hear him and he started to ask again.

"My hearing is fine," Erna cut him off before he could get another word out. "I don't like to talk about personal things."

She didn't sound angry, maybe just tired. Everyone knew how hard Levi had been working her since the night she arrived. Jean was still pretty confident that he had a shot with her. "Sorry, but don't you think it's a good idea to get to know each other if we're going to be on the same squad?"

Erna finished eating before looking Jean in the eye and saying calmly, "I know your name and face. That's all I need. I don't see how sharing life stories will effect how well we work together."

Jean heard Connie snicker at the other table and it set him off. He stood up and slammed his fist down on the table shouting, "You stuck up little bitch!"

In a flash, Erna reached out and grabbed his wrist with her right hand, pulling him forward until his head hit the table and she held him there with her left forearm pressing down on his neck. All the while she didn't change her calm expression. "You shouldn't lose your temper. It makes you vulnerable."

Mikasa and Armin watched wide-eyed, but Connie and Eren stifled laughter.

Erna planned to hold him there until he stopped struggling and showed signs of being ready to behave civilly. Only a familiar sound stopped her.

"Raban!" Levi's voice boomed from the dining room entrance.

Erna released Jean, and stood stiffly at attention, fist over her heart, "Sir!"

Connie felt more badly for the girl than for Jean and tried to put in a word for her defense, "Captain Levi, it wasn't her fault." But Levi showed no signs of even hearing him.

Jean rubbed his neck and shot a look at Connie, "What the fuck?" Then he saw Levi quickly striding toward them. For a second he was worried that they both would be in trouble, but when he looked at Levi's face he saw that he was only focused on Erna like he wasn't even there, and what he saw in Levi's eyes terrified him enough that now he too was jumping to the girl's defense, "Captain Levi, it's not what it looks like. She was showing me a new hand to hand combat technique and –"

"I don't want to hear it!" Levi roared and the room fell deadly silent. Everyone looked on in shock as Levi grabbed the still calm-faced Erna by the arm and pulled her so hard her feet almost left the ground. He strode over to the door to the kitchen and threw her through it. The door closed behind them.

Eren glared at Jean who held his hands up like as if to say _What did I do?_

"Asshole," Eren said under his breath. "This isn't right. I'm going to stop him." He started towards the kitchen.

Mikasa stopped him, "Leave it alone."

Eren looked at her in confusion, "What do you mean leave it alone?"

Mikasa started stacking everyone's plates, "I think she likes it."

Now everyone turned to look at Mikasa. Armin was the first to say, "That's insane."

"Did you see her expression? She wasn't the least bit afraid. I think she's completely and hopelessly in love with him and doesn't know any way to express it other than to let him take his anger out on her."

"That is the craziest thing I've ever heard you say," Eren responded. "What do you know about love anyway?"

Mikasa rolled her eyes, "You're right, I don't know anything about hopeless or unrequited love." This time Armin stifled a laugh. Eren didn't get it. Mikasa sighed, "Now, does anyone want to take our plates back to the kitchen?"

Eren wasn't sure what he wanted to do after listening to that crazy nonsense. Connie volunteered and took the plates from Mikasa, not because he wanted to be brave and try to help Erna, but because now his curiosity was piqued and he wanted to see what was happening in there. He took two steps toward the kitchen before they all heard a very loud crash come from behind the door and he took two steps back, set the dishes back on the table, and said "Maybe we should just leave them here for now." They all nodded in agreement and left the dining room together, avoiding the kitchen.

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Erna lost her footing as Levi threw her into the kitchen and she fell to the floor. Levi stared down at her, fuming. He heard a dish fall to the floor and looked up to see the kitchen staff frozen, staring on in shock. "Leave!" he yelled at them loudly enough to jar them out of their shock and out the other door in less than two seconds. He looked back down at Erna who was now on her knees, head bowed down at the floor. He drove his knee hard enough into her ribs to send her sliding across the floor into one of the kitchen counters. "This is just my personal philosophy… I think pain is the most effective punishment." He stepped towards her. She didn't flinch or make any move to try to get away from him like a normal person would in her situation. He grabbed her shoulders, pulled her up to a standing position, and slapped her hard across the face with the back of his hand. She reeled away from him, but was able to catch herself on one of the counters and keep herself from falling. She lifted a hand to her lips and wiped away a trickle of blood. Levi landed a kick against the other side of her ribs, again disappointed that she didn't flinch or wince or make any kind of sign of fear or move to save herself.

There was no doubt in his mind that whatever had just happened, Jean had been the instigator. He knew that Jean was occasionally an idiot and never had any control over his emotions. And he knew by now that Erna did nothing without reason. But he was enjoying this. More and more when he looked at Erna he saw a beautiful marble statue begging to be broken, but this past week she had given him no justifications or opportunities to break her like he had that first day. Everything he asked of her she carried out perfectly. No matter how much he asked of her or how far he pushed her, he hadn't been able to break through that emotionless mask again. When she fell she made no move to try to get up. He pressed his boot against her face, holding her down to the floor. He could have sworn he heard her make a small moan of pleasure, but that would be insane. He wrote that off as his imagination.

Levi delivered one more kick to her shoulder and told her to stand up. She did so with some difficulty and he searched her face. She looked a little dazed. That wasn't good enough. "You're going to clean every inch of this kitchen until it's spotless. I want you to be able to eat off of every surface in here."

She actually saluted, "Hai, Captain Levi."

This made him completely lose his temper. "And stop being so goddamned complacent about it!" Levi roared at her, throwing the nearest thing, a large copper bottom pot, across the room. He saw her eyes widen, but she looked more puzzled than afraid.

"Sir… I don't understand."

It was hopeless. He couldn't order her to show feelings or fear like a normal person. Even if he could, he wouldn't because that would be too easy. It would take all the fun out of it. He stepped closer to her and stood only inches away, trying to intimidate her. She stood perfectly still, not even moving her eyes to look up at his face. The way she smelled when she wasn't working in the stables, when she was actually clean, was intoxicating. He couldn't stand it and he stepped away, turning around, "I want you to scrub this place until your hands are raw and bleeding. I don't care how long it takes," and he left her.

Erna held out her hands and looked at them. Her palms were pretty thoroughly calloused from working in the stables. She thought it would take a lot to make her skin crack.

She licked her lower lip. It stung and tasted like blood. She loved the feeling. She touched her ribs lightly where he first kicked her and smiled to herself. She knew that logically she should feel upset or angry, but she was happy. Every bruise would be a reminder that he had at least touched her. Her first step was to hang her brown jacket on a chair. She took a bucket from the corner, filled it with hot soapy water, and found a scrub brush. She looked around; the kitchen definitely hadn't had a really thorough cleaning in a long time. She decided to start with the grease-caked stoves first and clean the floors last.

Levi came, presumably to check on her, every hour. He said nothing. Sometimes he ran a finger along a counter and just left, and sometimes he sat in one of the chairs at the small kitchen table and watched her for at least five minutes. Each time Erna didn't pause in her work or look at him, but she could feel it when he was staring at her and it made her face burn.

The fifth time Levi entered the kitchen to check on Erna, at 2am, he opened the door to find her standing at attention in the center of the room. He wondered how long she had been standing like that, waiting for him to come and inspect her work, but he didn't ask. He walked around slowly, scrutinizing everything, looking for any imperfection. It was impossible. Right now the kitchen was probably the cleanest room in the whole castle. He picked up a spoon and it was polished clean enough to now be used as a small mirror. He was about to give up on finding anything he could criticize when he looked up at the pots and pans hanging over the stoves. They were all perfectly cleaned but one. He took it down from where it was hanging and recognized it as the one he had thrown earlier. He held it out to Erna and asked, "What is this?"

"I guess I missed it, Sir," her voice was too calm and measured.

"You thought to hang it up, but somehow you forgot to clean it? Is that what you're telling me?"

"I have no other explanation, Sir."

Levi wouldn't let himself lose his temper again. He threw the pot into one of the sinks and said very calmly and coldly, "Get down." She fell to the floor on her knees without hesitation. "You're going to do push-ups and every time you go down I want you to lick the floor. At least one stone in this floor is going to be clean."

Erna did exactly as he asked. Licking the floor didn't bother her; it only tasted of cold, clean stone. She knew that she had scrubbed every inch of the floor until it was clean enough to perform surgery on. The pot she had hung up without cleaning was completely intentional.

Levi circled around her, not at all surprised that she did exactly as he said without protest. He put his boot between her shoulder blades and pressed down to make it harder for her. Again he thought he heard her moan. At 2:30am he told her to stop and let her up. "Be in the inner courtyard at 7 for training exercises," he had plans for her.

After Levi left her, Erna went to her room and fell into bed. She felt that same mix of exhaustion and bliss from her first night at the castle. She licked her lower lip and made it sting. She moved her hand between her legs and imagined Levi biting her lip and making it bleed again…


	4. Secretary

**It's weird: I don't particularly dislike Jean as a character, but I constantly pick on him in my writing. I swear I don't hate him. Some of my best friends are Jearmin yaoi smut.  
****I don't own Attack on Titan in any way, shape, or form. But I own this thing I've written and my OC, who I'm growing very fond of.  
**

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Erna joined her team members for the first time in the inner courtyard which functioned as a training space for the Survey Corps. Unlike the Wall Garrison and the Military Police, the Survey Corps never stopped training. If they wanted their soldiers to survive their expeditions they couldn't afford to lose any physical fitness or let their reflexes get slow, so training was nearly constant.

Jean approached her, "Hey I'm, um, really sorry about last night." It wasn't an entirely accurate statement. He wasn't very sorry about what he had said, but he was sorry that she was caught by Levi. Truthfully he knew he was only apologizing for two reasons: 1) because his team members would continue to give him shit if he didn't and 2) even though she was very strange, he still found the new girl pretty cute. So he tried to make himself sound as sincere as possible.

"Oh it's okay. You know, if not for what happened I would probably still be out mucking stalls today. Maybe I should be thanking you," Erna gave him a brief smile and extended her hand.

It was weird. From the noises they had heard coming from the kitchen last night they were all pretty sure Levi had given her a somewhat severe beating, but to Jean she seemed so much happier this morning than when he had tried to talk to her at dinner. She even smiled. Instead of shaking her hand, he pointed to the cut on her lower lip, "I hope that wasn't on account of me."

She looked confused for a second, and then brought the tips of her gloved fingers to her lip, "Oh I'd almost forgotten. It's nothing. It'll be completely healed up in a day or two." On that last thought she almost sounded disappointed. Jean couldn't make sense of the girl. He was about to offer to introduce her to the rest of the squad, but then Levi showed up to oversee training.

Levi looked Erna up and down. It never made sense how no matter how little sleep he let her have she was always on time. Today she even looked bright-eyed. He wondered how dark her bruises were under her uniform and felt a slight twinge of disappointment that he wouldn't get to see them. He noticed her leather gloves. They were military issue and brown to match the soldiers' jackets, but they were an optional part of the uniform, so most didn't wear them. He remembered that her hands would be raw and sensitive from all the cleaning. "You two," Levi motioned towards Jean and Erna, "Pair off and spar."

Erna nodded and faced Jean. Jean looked at Levi, "Hand to hand combat? We haven't done that since the Trainee Corps."

"Weren't you the one who wanted to learn new techniques?" Levi asked, calling him on his bluff from last night.

Jean groaned and looked to his teammates who were watching. Connie gave him a grin and thumbs up. He faced off with Erna and made a move towards her. Without time to notice what happened he was on his back looking at the sky with her boot on his chest. "Fuck." She leaned down and offered her hand to help him up, "What the fuck was that?" He took her hand and let her help him to his feet.

Erna just shrugged. She took two steps back while he dusted himself off. He resolved that this time he wouldn't be beaten and again made a move at her, this time almost grabbing her arm before ending up on his back with her boot on his chest. He heard Connie snickering at him again. This time he didn't let Erna help him up.

They sparred again and again with the exact same result no matter what tactic Jean tried. Levi was thoroughly disappointed. His point in making them do hand to hand combat training wasn't to teach Jean a lesson about lying. His intention was that during the course of the sparring sessions Erna would take some hits to her fresh bruises. He cursed Hange under his breath for stealing Eren for experiments again. He was the strongest hand-to-hand fighter on his squad by a long shot. It was becoming clear that no one else would stand a chance against the girl. He walked over to the pair as Jean dusted himself off for the 6th time and motioned for them to stop, "Maybe this requires a handicap." He loosened the white cravat from his neck and removed it. He pulled Erna's arms behind her back and tightened the cravat around them, tying her hands and arms tightly together. He stepped away again. This time Jean was overconfident and careless. He rushed at Erna headlong to tackle her at her midsection and knock her down. Erna slid her right foot back, lowering her center of gravity and met his forehead with her own. His forward momentum made the effect of her headbutt worse than she had probably intended. He was on his back again, but this time he was clearly unconscious.

Levi strode over to them. "Jean," he tapped him with his boot. No response, but he could see that the boy was still breathing. He was probably just a little or a lot concussed. "Sasha and Connie, take him to the infirmary." Sasha and Connie hurried over and while they discussed who should carry his shoulders and who should carry his feet Levi stood in front of Erna who didn't look the least bit worried or remorseful. Typical, he thought. "Why did you do that?"

"Sir, I assessed the situation and could see no other way to neutralize my opponent without the use of my arms," she said this in her customary mechanical, emotionless tone.

"It didn't occur to you to just let him tackle you?"

Erna cocked her head to the side, looking truly puzzled, "No, Sir, that thought didn't occur to me. Is that what you wanted me to do?"

Levi brought his palm to his face and shook his head in amazement and frustration. Just then, Hange came over with Eren in tow.

Hange looked down her glasses at the unconscious Jean, "Oooh what happened here?"

"Hange, give me back Eren and take this one to experiment on. She's stranger than you," Levi turned Erna around and began untying her arms.

Hange brought her face uncomfortably close to Erna's, "Yay, a new subject!" She walked around and inspected Erna. "Does she transform into a titan?"

"Not as far as I know, but get her out of my sight for a while anyway," Levi finished untying Erna's arms and shoved her to the waiting Hange who immediately locked arms with the confused and slightly worried-looking girl and led her back to the castle, talking at her the whole time.

Eren stood beside Levi, relieved to be free from Hange, and pointed to the unconscious Jean, "What happened? Did he try to hit on the new girl again?"

Levi turned to look at Eren and said coldly and quietly, "Laps."

"Huh?" Eren didn't understand what he had said wrong.

"Laps for everyone!" Levi shouted to his squad. Everyone groaned except for Sasha and Connie who picked up Jean and began carrying him away.

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When he finished running his squad into the ground, Levi paid a visit to Hange. He found her sitting at her desk going over some things, probably about Eren. He knocked on the door frame, "Where's Raban?"

Hange looked up, "Oh, I let her go hours ago."

"She was too much trouble?"

"No! Exactly the opposite, she's the best assistant I've ever had! So efficient! She filed and cross-catalogued all of my research notes, she organized all of my books, she cleaned everything. I finally ran out of things for her to do and had to let her go."

Levi looked around and noticed Hange's office was a lot cleaner than he was used to. He couldn't see a speck of dust anywhere, "The little brat."

"Huh?" Hange was going to ask Levi what he meant, but he was already storming out the door and down the corridor.

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Levi went to the infirmary to check on Jean and found Erna in a chair next to Jean's cot. She was resting her chin in her hands and quietly watching Jean's face. He appeared to still be unconscious. Levi walked over to the foot of the boy's bed, "Is he in a coma?"

Erna turned her head and gave him a tired look, "No, he was awake earlier. They say he has a concussion, so he's going to be a little sleepy and dizzy." She stood up and stretched her arms over her head, "Much the way I feel. Maybe I have a concussion too. I'm going to bed early unless there's anything else."

"You have a cobweb in your hair," Levi said matter of factly. "Why do you always insist on being such a mess?"

Erna pulled her hair out of its bun and shook it out. Levi was surprised at how long it was. It fell to the middle of her back in large, beautiful curls. He thought if you put a dress on her right now she wouldn't look at all out of place at a ball in a mansion of the inner wall. She interrupted his thoughts with a look, inquiring with her eyes whether she got the piece of cobweb out. She didn't. Annoyed, Levi took a white handkerchief from his pocket and said, "Hange says you make a better secretary than a soldier," as he picked it out for her.

Erna gave him a cold, angry look. After a pause, she said, "Her instructions are clear and easy to follow."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Erna started walking away, but stopped in the door of the infirmary and turned around. There was now more sadness to her eyes than anger, "If you hadn't wanted me to spar and instead wanted me to be a punching bag, I wish you would have just told me… I would have done it."

She left without waiting for a response. Levi didn't have a quick response to that anyway. He was a little shocked at how devastatingly accurate her assessment was. She was much smarter than he had given her credit for. He couldn't be blamed, he decided. Who could tell what was going on behind those blank eyes most of the time?

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Erna kicked the door to her room open and threw her jacket against the wall, "Better secretary than a soldier my ass!" She kicked her boots off and sent them flying, "How the fuck would he know? He never lets me be a soldier." She sat on her bed, leaning against the wall and pulling her knees up to her chest. She had been so tired before, but now she felt too worked up to sleep. She knew it wasn't like her to get emotional, but Levi had a talent for saying exactly the right thing to rattle her. She loved it and hated it. Finally she took her gloves off and looked at her still raw hands, "I'm just a maid most of the time."

Before she could pout, the brunette, green-eyed man who had been with Hange earlier appeared in her door frame. She silently wished she had thought to close it.

"Hey, I just wanted to introduce myself since I missed you at training. I'm Eren." If he overheard her little tantrum, he made no sign of it.

"Hange talks a lot about you," the girl said very matter of factly.

Eren smiled, "Yeah, she's pretty obsessive." He watched her unfold her knees and start putting her hair back up into a bun. "So I heard you kicked Jean's ass."

"Not on purpose."

"Ah, well, that's a shame. No one would blame you if it was. Anyway, I'm glad Levi's finally letting you train with us."

She gave him one of her rare and subtle smiles, "I was getting really good at cleaning stalls…"

Eren laughed, "Yeah, I had to do a lot of that when I first joined the Survey Corps too. Just when you get good at something he'll switch you to something else." This made the girl crease her brow in thought and frown to herself. Eren thought it seemed like no one could take a joke today, or it was just that this girl was as humorless as Levi. What a perfect match. He decided to leave it alone, "Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow." He left and closed her door.

Erna lay down on her back and looked at her hands. "I must be really bad at cleaning then," she said quietly to herself.

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******Behind the Scenes Notes!**

**OMGee, that very last image is adorable to me.**

**If you've read this far, thank you so much. I probably love you!**


	5. Abnormal Psychology 101

**Emotional Climax! Get some!  
****This Chapter was probably the most fun to write. It contains the phrase that became the title of this fic and there's smut in it. Finally, real smut. You are welcome. **

**I sooo don't own Attack on Titan or any of its characters. I only own my OC. She's all mine.**

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"It isn't working out," Levi said calmly. He stood looking out the window of Erwin's office.

"I'm sure you don't mean the new girl. It hasn't even been a month, how can you sound so certain?" Erwin normally trusted Levi's judgment almost completely, but this time it didn't make sense. He had been sure that putting his best soldier and his best squad leader together was a no-brainer.

"It just isn't. It's my recommendation that you reassign her."

Erwin frowned. "You're going to have to explain yourself if I'm going to consider making such a move."

Levi sighed, "Little things. Small, almost indiscernible acts of defiance, such that you couldn't even be sure that they're intentional, but too smart to be accidental."

"Such as…?" Erwin asked.

"If I order her to perform maintenance on her 3DMG she does everything but sharpen her blades. If I make her clean the kitchen, she'll polish every surface but conspicuously leave one pot dirty. If I ordered her to boil water, I'm sure she would find a way to burn it. I spend more time reprimanding and punishing her than training my squad." He paused and then went on, "I know you think highly of her, but she's only been a distraction. She needs to go. Give her to Hange. I've talked to her about it and she thinks the girl would be a great asset."

Erwin frowned and sat down at his desk. He opened a drawer and started going through papers, "The behavior you're describing is highly uncharacteristic of Raban. I'm not saying I disbelieve you, but given her history this news is fairly shocking." He pulled out the file he was looking for and slid it over to Levi who now stood in front of his desk, "If you look at her file you won't find one instance of even slight insubordination."

Levi took the file and flipped through without really looking at it, "Even so…"

Erwin didn't let him continue, "Have you talked to Private Raban about this?"

"No. It probably says something in here," Levi said, waving the file at Erwin "about her being somewhat impossible to talk to."

Erwin smiled at him warmly, "All I'm going to ask is that you talk to her and sleep on it. If you don't change your mind, then come again tomorrow and I'll sign off on the paperwork to transfer her to Hange's squad."

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Levi sat at his desk going through Erna's file, even though he was sure nothing in it would change his mind. He read it more out of curiosity. He went through the notes made by various trainers and team leaders.  
"Utterly compliant, carries out any and all orders to perfection."  
"Socially indifferent to her peers, but still works well within a team."  
"Strange girl but effective."  
"Cold, mechanical, efficient titan-killing machine."

The most recent one was written by Erwin: "Incredibly skilled soldier, but follows orders to a fault. Shows few signs of independent thought in the field and displays no instinct for self-preservation. Would die if ordered to do so. Requires an impeccable leader."

So that was why Erwin was so anxious to place her and keep her in his squad, Levi thought. He supposed he could take that as a compliment. Levi leaned back in his chair, hands behind his head. He almost wished he hadn't read the file. It didn't make anything clearer. Why would a soldier with such a strong reputation of precision, accuracy, and obedience suddenly behave differently under his command? He could only think of one explanation: She was fucking with him.

There was a knock at his office door and Jean entered, interrupting his thoughts. "What is it?"

"The doctors said that I'm okay to start training again."

The boy had been up and about for a few days now, but the Survey Corps doctors were playing it safe with him. Levi thought the medical officers were probably some of the only members of the Survey Corps that ever displayed any sense of caution. "If they say so, fine."

Jean made a quick salute and turned around to leave. "You know, I blame you for the head injury more than Raban," Levi said to his back. Jean shot him a confused look over his shoulder, so Levi clarified, "You were overconfident and careless. You'll never be promoted to team leader if you run headlong into lethal things." Jean nodded that he understood and looked at least a little ashamed and thoughtful. "Since you're here, I have an errand for you," Levi went on, "Find Raban and tell her to come to my office."

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Jean found Erna in the dining hall, eating dinner with the rest of the team, which she had been doing since she started training with them about two and a half weeks ago. He didn't hold a grudge against her about the sparring session. He had already known it was his own dumb fault without Levi telling him. He had also resolved to stop hitting on her when he had woken up in the infirmary. Even though she was pretty, Jean decided he would rather date a girl who couldn't knock him out in a fight.

Still no one on the team knew what to make of Erna even though they were spending more and more time together. She wasn't friendly, but she wasn't unfriendly. She would socialize with them politely if they asked her impersonal questions, but otherwise she was silent and stoic. Things they had learned about her so far included the name of her horse (Raven), her birthdate (Nov. 12th), and her height (154cm). These were all facts. What they couldn't learn were her opinions or feelings on things because she didn't seem to have any. For example, when asked what her favorite color was she would look puzzled, as if she didn't understand the question or the concept of favorites.

At first her behavior and demeanor seemed unpredictable, but by now everyone had noticed very clear habits and patterns that she stuck to. For example, every time that the team had an unexpected break from training everyone but Erna would be relieved to have the free time. Erna seemed at a complete loss as to what to do with free time and would become anxious and irritable if she couldn't go find more work to do. She stuck to a strict routine: Sleep, black coffee at breakfast, training, dinner, and sleep again. If the team was allowed to stop training well before 6pm, Erna would disappear and meet up with them again at dinner. Once or twice Sasha and Connie had tried to follow her to see where she disappeared to, but they quickly lost track of her and gave up after Mikasa admonished them to let the girl have this one secret since aside from that they could set their watches by her and always knew where she would be. Erna had a reputation among the Survey Corps as being a mystery, but her teammates knew that wasn't really the case. She was obviously very strange, but if you spent some time with her you quickly found that nothing she did was at all unpredictable. In that way she was easy, her mood fluctuated only very little. If Levi gave into Hange and let her borrow Erna for the day, she would show up at dinner in a slightly more morose mood than her normal baseline and if Levi found a reason to make her run laps or do push-ups, she would show up at dinner in a more cheerful mood. When she was in one of her more cheerful moods they could even joke with her and make her laugh at dinner. It was a running inside joke among them that Erna was so protective of her past and so strange because she had been raised by very intelligent, very ruthless wolves. Erna would respond to this accusation by crinkling her nose and baring her teeth like a snarling wolf. One morning at breakfast, Krista commented that she looked tired and Erna responded that it was because she had woken up to howl at the moon in the middle of the night and smiled slyly behind her coffee. None of them were close to Erna, but they were all becoming fond enough of her.

Jean sat down next to Erna, "Hey, Levi wants to see you in his office." Had he delivered that message to anyone else it would have made them cringe, but Erna smiled. She rose from the table without finishing her food and walked away with a bright look in her eyes and a hop in her step.

Someone would have remarked that she was crazy, but they were so used to her particular brand of crazy now that it was almost seen as normal.

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Erna had never skipped before and wasn't sure she knew how, but she felt like skipping down the corridor to Levi's office. Her latest attempt to provoke him into punishing her was to neglect to polish her boots before training, but he hadn't seemed to notice and she was utterly disappointed. She didn't think much about why, but for some reason she only felt happy when Levi was cruel to her. So over the past few weeks she had made herself an expert in eliciting the reactions she wanted from him. Although she failed so far to make him lose his temper the way he had the night that he split her lip, she was always watching for the opportunity. She hoped that an office visit was an indication that he was particularly incensed over something she did. She reached the door, composed herself consciously erasing her smile, knocked twice and entered.

Levi was sitting at his desk and still going through the Erna Raban file. He heard the girl enter, but didn't look up from the file until she had been standing at the center of the floor in front of his desk for at least a minute or two. He enjoyed making her wait in silent anticipation and wanted to draw it out since this would be the last time he would have the opportunity. He closed the file and stood up, walking around the desk to stand in front of her. She followed him with her eyes, but otherwise stood perfectly still at attention, hands folded behind her back. He stared at her in silence for a few more seconds, and then said "I'm putting in the paperwork to transfer you to Captain Zoe's squad since you spend more time being reprimanded than being useful here. It isn't officially completed, but you can report to her tomorrow morning." What he had expected was that Erna would salute, give him her usual "Hai, Captain Levi," turn on her heel, and leave his office. What she did instead was fall to her knees, hug his legs tightly, and begin sobbing. He was shocked.

As soon as the first sentence left Levi's mouth, Erna's heart stopped and she felt like she was falling. The second sentence didn't even register. For the first time in about a dozen years she felt hot tears forming in her eyes. She felt like she couldn't breathe and she fell to her knees. She lost all sense of herself until Levi put his hands on her shoulders and told her to stop crying before she got his uniform wet. She let go of him and leaned back on her knees, wiping the tears from her eyes, she struggled to collect her thoughts and put them into words.

Levi handed her a handkerchief, saying "Explain yourself."

Erna took a few deep breaths and stopped her tears. "Please don't send me away from you. Everything I've been doing to make you punish me has been intentional because… I don't know why, but… I want you to be cruel to me, but I'll stop provoking you, please just don't transfer me. I can't serve under anyone else now. If you send me away I'll lose what's become my reason to live and I'll be reckless and endanger my life and probably the lives of others. I know it doesn't make sense… but I've never really felt anything before now… You make me feel things." She looked down at the floor. She was out of words and wholly convinced that he would transfer her now anyway because she was just too strange to be bothered with.

Levi paused, and then he asked, "What do I make you feel?"

Erna looked up at Levi, hesitating. "I think… love? I think this is what love is for me." She was afraid to tell him the truth but if he was going to send her away, nothing mattered anymore.

"You think…" Levi's voice was calm, expressionless, "Go and run laps until you know."

Erna stood up, shaken and confused, but she saluted, "H- Hai Captain Levi," and she left.

Levi turned around and picked up the file from his desk. "Well that makes a lot of sense," he was pleased. The truth was that his request to transfer her was less about loss of productivity and much more because he actually enjoyed persecuting the girl and it had begun to make him feel like a monster. Still, he thought he had better proceed carefully from here. He knew he had as much time as he wanted to come up with a plan. Erna would run laps until he went and told her to stop.

Levi found Hange in her office, scribbling away. She was completely absorbed and didn't notice him. He tapped his fist on her desk and startled her. She broke the tip of her pencil and exclaimed, "Ah, Levi. Geez, you scared me!"

Levi asked, "Do you have any books on abnormal psychology?"

Hange stood up from her chair and went over to her eight floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, "Hmmmm… You know, I'm really more of an anatomy and anthropology kind of girl, but let me see." She ran her finger over some bindings and got excited, "It won't take a minute, everything is so easy to find since you've been lending me Erna! Did Erwin approve her transfer to my squad?!"

"Not exactly. I might be keeping her. You'll have to learn to keep yourself organized."

"That's a disappointment." She knelt down and pulled a book from the third shelf, "Here you go! An encyclopedia of psychology, everything you could want to know should be in here." She blew a layer of dust off of it, "Well, it might be a little old…" She held the book out to him. "What's it for anyway?"

Levi took it and said, "Just some light reading. I'll return it soon," he cringed at how much dust was still on the cover, "and in better condition." He took the book back to his office, first wiping it with a dust rag and then flipping through it until he found a section on masochistic personality disorders.

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Erna was on her 9th lap around the outside of the castle and about to beat a personal record for distance as the sun started to set. She was drenched in sweat and it felt like her lungs were going to give out on her, but confessing her feelings and making herself vulnerable had given her such a rush of adrenaline and anxiety that she didn't think she would ever feel tired or relaxed again no matter how much she ran. Coming around the corner to the front side of the castle, she saw Levi come out and motion for her to stop running and come to him. She walked over to him, unsure if her heart was beating a million beats per minute from the running or from fear.

All Levi said was "Follow me." So Erna did, trying desperately to catch her breath the whole way. She followed him past his office and he opened the door to his apartment next to it. She hesitated for a moment, but then followed him inside. Erna had never seen the inside of a squad leader's apartment before, but everyone knew they were larger and nicer than the single rooms given to lower-ranking soldiers. The room Levi led her into was a sort of formal living room. Of course, it was immaculately neat. He closed the door behind her and said "Take off your boots. Don't touch anything, you're disgusting. You know, you could have stopped running before becoming drenched in sweat."

Erna removed her boots. "I didn't know how much you wanted me to run, so I kept going."

Levi sat on one of the couches, resting his arms over the back and crossing one leg over the other. He sighed in exasperation and looked at the ceiling. "Stupid girl… Someday I'll forget to come get you and you'll die running."

Erna didn't know what to say. Everything that was happening was very confusing. But what Levi just said gave her hope that he had changed his mind about transferring her.

Levi pointed to a closed door behind him. "Go through there, turn right, there's a washroom off of the bedroom. Clean yourself up and come straight to my office."

Erna quickly found the washroom, being very careful not to touch anything until she got there. Everything was white and clean. She wasn't sure if Levi had meant for her to just wash off her face and hands in the sink or to take a real bath. She hated that he wasn't more specific and worried about what she should do until she saw that there was already water in the tub. She put her hand in to test the water and it was hot, so she decided it would be safe to assume that it was there for her. She stripped off her uniform and carefully lowered herself into the tub. She tried to relax her muscles to keep them from cramping, but it was hopeless, there was no relaxing. She took her hair out of its bun, lowered her head under the water, and held her breath as long as she could. When she came up for air, she took some shampoo from the bottle on the edge of the tub and massaged it into her scalp. She found a bar of soap on the other edge of the tub and a loofah sponge. She scrubbed every inch of her skin until it hurt. Erna knew that if Levi had gone to the trouble of drawing a bath for her, he hadn't done it so that she could do a half-assed job of cleaning herself. She tried to be as thorough as possible but also quick because she didn't want to give herself a chance to think, she only wanted to keep moving and find out what would be next.

When she finished, Erna stood and grabbed one of the fluffy white towels from the rack on the wall. As she dried herself and squeezed the excess water from her hair she realized that she didn't know what to do next. She could put her sweaty clothes back on, which seemed to defeat the whole purpose of the bath or… she couldn't think of another option. She felt like this was a trap. Then she saw it: there was a white robe folded and set on the sink. She decided that taking it was equally as likely to be the wrong decision as putting on the sweaty clothes or walking out in only a towel, but at least she would be covered and comfortable. So she left her clothes on the floor and tied the robe around herself.

As Erna walked back out through the bedroom, it was difficult to overcome the temptation to snoop around. She was sure she would never have the chance again. But she felt like somehow Levi would know if she did, so she hurried through and found what she was pretty sure was the door that adjoined the apartment with the office. She took a deep breath and put her hand on the door, but didn't push it open. Something stopped her. Her legs felt weak. She guessed that this was what fear was like. Another deep breath and she opened the door. Levi was at the desk looking at some papers, he didn't look up until she was standing front and center in front of the desk for almost a minute. Silently she wondered why he always made her wait.

Levi put the papers into a folder which he then put in one of the desk drawers. He locked eyes with her before asking, "If I punish you every night, here, after training, will you stop childishly fucking around to get what you want and start being the precise, efficient soldier I was told you would be?" He knew he didn't have to ask, and already knew what her answer would be, but he wanted to see her look flustered. He hadn't seen her eyes widen in surprise since the time that he brought her a roll on her first day of stable duty. Now that she was going to be his, more than ever he wanted to make her feel everything. He wanted to break down her stony façade as often as possible.

"I… Yes," she stammered.

Levi stood up and walked around to the front of the desk to stand in front of her, holding eye contact with her to make her more uncomfortable. "Take off the robe." It was the first order he ever gave her that she hesitated to follow. She didn't protest, but she blushed bright red and looked down at the floor. "Look at me," he said. She looked back up and he leaned in closer and said slowly, "You don't want to find out what happens if I have to do it for you."

Erna shivered. For a second she thought that maybe she did want to find out, but his tone was the coldest and most evil she had ever heard and she believed him, so she untied the robe and shrugged it off. She didn't try to cover herself, she knew she should feel embarrassed at being naked because that's a thing that normal people feel, but she didn't. She was much more humiliated at being so vulnerable and trying to cross her legs and cover herself with her hands would only make her look more vulnerable. She wanted to look as confident as possible, but she couldn't stop blushing and she couldn't hold eye contact with Levi. He was looking at her like… she wasn't sure. She hadn't seen that look before. It wasn't cold anger or exasperation, which were his two expressions she had become used to. She had seen wolves circle wounded prey before. Levi's eyes looked the same as theirs, full of cold bloodlust. It made her want to cover her throat more than anything else. She wanted to close her eyes, but she was able to keep them open as long as she looked at the floor.

Levi could see all of Erna's torment on her face and he was enjoying it. He didn't order her to look at him again. Just for now he wanted to see what she would do if he didn't give her any orders. He circled her slowly. He couldn't get over how delicate she looked for a soldier. Just looking at her without her uniform on you could tell that her bones were small and light, but they had to be strong as steel for her to have survived this long in the Survey Corps without suffering even a broken toe. Most Survey Corps members had scars, bent bones reset badly in the field, signs of how dangerous their work was. Erna's body looked more like that of an unloved porcelain doll – perfectly smooth with no cracks or wear. The only thing to identify her as a soldier was her muscle tone. Her muscles weren't huge, but they were defined, especially in her legs. But, he thought, that could easily be from all of the long distance running as much as from 3DMG use. He watched her breasts rise and fall with her breathing which she was trying to control to appear unafraid. They were small because she was small, but they were proportional to her body, round and perky. The exact same could be said of her backside, which he had plans for. She stood with her legs closed tightly, the same as when she stood at attention, so he couldn't get a detailed view of her pussy. He could order her to spread her legs, but he knew he had all the time in the world with her so there was no urge to rush and ravage. He stared at her a little longer, knowing there would be a bell curve to her anxiety. If he waited too long, she would start to steadily feel less afraid and more comfortable and he didn't want that.

Levi finally broke the silence, "Bend over," grabbing the back of Erna's neck and pushing her into the desk. "Hands behind your back," the order was less a power move and more a practical consideration. With what he was about to do to her, if he let her lay her hands on the desk he might end up with scratches on the desk top that he didn't want to have to buff out. "Stay."

Erna listened to Levi walk away. She didn't dare turn her head or try to see what he was doing. She tried to control her breathing, calm down, at least decrease the flow of adrenaline a little bit. She was not good at being afraid, she decided. Other people had to deal with fear all of the time. She had been on several scouting expeditions, killed more titans than almost anyone, but she wasn't courageous because she never overcame fear, she just never felt it. She had never really felt or thought so much of anything before coming here. All these feelings Levi brought out in her made her finally feel human and she would never want him to stop, but still it was a lot to take in all at once. She wished there was some sort of way to just dip your toes in the feelings pool and gradually acclimate to becoming human. And she wished she could stop thinking so damn much.

She heard Levi come back. For a second he didn't say anything, and then, "You're going to want to relax or this is going to hurt more than is necessary." Before Erna could process what he said, she heard something cut the air and then felt a sensation like fire across her backside. She bit her lip to keep herself from crying out, almost hard enough to draw blood.

Levi bent the cane, impressed with its strength and elasticity, not to mention its ability to inflict pain. He admired the perfectly straight, red line he had made across Erna's ass. Now that line would be his target. He bent back the tip of the cane and snapped it, hitting exactly where he had before, but harder this time. She didn't move, but she did yelp and he loved it. He wanted to make her make more sounds just like that. He snapped the cane, hitting the red welt and she yelped louder. The fourth time, however, she stood up on her toes at the last second so that he missed his target. Now there were two red lines.

"Clever girl," he said as he pushed her back down, flat on her feet. "But you should know tricks like that are only going to make it worse for you." She was breathing hard. He let her get five deep breaths before hitting her again. This time she couldn't suppress a scream. Levi had to pause, not for her benefit, but he felt his cock getting hard. He didn't want to lose control; if he did he would push her too hard and destroy whatever tenuous trust she had in him. He knew that if he went too far, too fast, she would fear him more than was useful. It would make it hard to get her to follow orders. Levi willed himself to stop letting his body distract him with what it wanted him to do to Erna's naked, vulnerable little body and focus on what needed to be done. He snapped the cane against her glowing red skin again.

With the first few hits, Erna's rapid thinking was slowed down by the distraction of the intense pain. Now, her thoughts had completely melted away. Her mind felt white and peaceful. She no longer thought about when it would stop or how much it hurt, she only looked out the windows behind the desk at the stars and felt bliss. This was the high she had been chasing after since her first punishing night at the castle when Levi had made her run herself into unconsciousness and had to help her back to her room. This was better than that though. Levi hit her again and this time her brain didn't register her nerves' signals as pain. Instead it released a flood of endorphins. This time instead of a scream, she let out a moan. He hit her again and she moaned longer and squirmed against the desk.

_Fuck me,_ Levi thought to himself, _who's supposed to be getting punished here?_ He couldn't ignore the blood rushing to his cock anymore. He ordered her, "Stay," again and left the room.

Erna didn't want to move and didn't feel like she could move even if she did want to. She still couldn't think coherent thoughts. She never wanted this feeling to go away, but as minutes passed the adrenaline and endorphins slowly waned and the pain started to feel like pain again. Slowly her mind slipped out of ecstasy and started to form thoughts again, but those thoughts only took the form of "Ouch… ouch… ouch… ouch…" as her skin throbbed with both the dull blunt pain of bruises beginning to form and stinging fiery pain left on her skin from the snaps of the cane at the same time. When she heard the door separating the office from the apartment open, she turned her head. Levi didn't have the cane. She didn't know if she felt relieved or disappointed. She supposed it was possible to feel both at once.

Levi could see that Erna hadn't moved an inch from where he left her, and he would have praised her except he didn't think that praise was something she needed. Not yet. "Stand up," was all he said. She stood carefully and turned to face him. She could look at his eyes now instead of at the floor. He walked over and handed her a neatly folded white button-down shirt and pair of boxers. "You can wear these back to your room. I'll probably burn the clothes you were wearing before."

She put the shirt on first, taking time to button all but the top buttons. Then she started to slowly slide on the boxers. He could see her thinking; it was cute. She made a very concerted effort to get them over her ass without touching her skin, but failed and winced. She was so much more expressive now than what he had grown used to. He felt almost like he could see her thoughts on her face. She held out her arms, looked at herself, and said, "You know, leaving here in these is probably about as conspicuous as leaving here naked."

She had a good point, except, "It's late, so you shouldn't run into anyone. And, like I said, I'm burning your clothes, so those will have to do." She frowned, but seemed satisfied with his logic. She looked unsure of what to do, so he said, "You're dismissed."

Erna looked to the door, and then back to him, she almost shifted her weight to turn and leave, but instead she flew to him and threw her arms around him in a tight hug, resting her forehead against his chest she whispered, "Thank you." Her long black hair was still damp and she smelled clean, he couldn't take it. He wanted to throw her onto the desk and do everything to her. He wanted to make her scream again and again. He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed her away, holding her at arm's length and looking into her eyes he said, "Training tomorrow as usual. No more mistakes."

She blushed for a moment, but quickly regained her composure, saluted and said, "Hai, Captain Levi." As soon as she left and the door was closed behind her, Levi let out an exasperated sigh, completely frustrated.

Walking back to her room, Erna felt the cold stone against her feet and remembered she had left her boots in Levi's apartment. She didn't think it would be wise to go back. She had another pair, but she knew they were scuffed and dirty and would take a lot of polishing to meet Levi's standards. She groaned, defeated. When she reached her room, she got the boots, polish, and rags, and tried to figure if there was a way to polish boots standing up. She decided against trying. It would be awkward and she would risk getting boot polish on Levi's shirt, which she was pretty sure was an offense punishable by death. So she tossed a pillow on the floor and very slowly lowered herself onto it. It felt like fire. She whimpered and tried to adjust her weight to get more comfortable, but everything she did only made it worse. She contemplated just leaving the scuffed boots as they were, but she had promised no more mistakes. She lifted the collar of the shirt up over her nose and inhaled. It smelled like Levi and it was comforting.


	6. Two-Pointing

**The chapter wherein I get everyone drunk and try to keep them in character at the same time. There's some action-y stuff, which I find insanely difficult to write. We finally learn Erna's back story, which I tried to write in the style of an Edward Gorey story - devastatingly depressing, but also dry. There is a reference to "Cool Hand Luke." There's also a quote from "Mary Poppins." There's some graphic sexual content. Basically, everything. There's everything. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Attack on Titan. I do own this thing I've written and my OC.**

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The next morning Erna stood at breakfast instead of sitting.

"Erna, why don't you sit down?" Krista asked her, sounding concerned.

Erna lowered her coffee mug from her lips and smiled, "Don't look so worried. I just don't see the point in sitting since I never eat breakfast. It's easy enough to drink coffee standing."

"I see. You're always so practical," Krista said, relieved.

"Not eating breakfast isn't practical, it's insane," Sasha replied.

"Coffee is kind of like breakfast," Erna teased Sasha.

"Coffee isn't food, no matter how much milk and sugar you put in it!" Sasha shouted, standing up from her chair.

Erna calmly sipped her black coffee and raised an eyebrow at Sasha. "But we don't have any sugar."

This reminder deflated Sasha. She sunk back into her chair and laid her head on the table, sighing dramatically, "We haven't had any sugar in weeks. It's so depressing."

Connie observed, "Erna, you must be in a good mood if you're teasing Sasha. Did you have to run laps last night?"

Erna finished her coffee and smiled, "Ah, yeah, I almost made it 16 miles before Levi stopped me."

Connie whistled and then joked, "Soon you'll be able to go on expeditions without your horse."

Eren chimed in, "Don't worry, Erna, if they take your horse away, Horse-face can stand in as your horse," gesturing towards Jean.

Jean scowled at Eren. "I hate you."

Erna clicked her tongue. "So moody. I like my horse better."

Levi appeared seemingly out of nowhere, half-startling all of them. "Speaking of which," he said, "go get your horses. We're not training today. There's a supply team coming from Wall Rose. I volunteered you to ride out to meet them and make sure they reach our headquarters safely."

Sasha perked up, "Maybe they have sugar!"

Everyone left to see if they could catch their horses in the stable before they were let out to graze. Erna placed her mug on the table about to go follow them. "Standing at breakfast?" Levi asked her.

"I… um… yeah." She didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that she was still feeling the painful welts he left on her ass, but she couldn't think of an explanation that would convince him otherwise.

"How do you think you'll do in the saddle?" Levi asked. She knew he was teasing her, but no one ever would have guessed. His tone was the usual deadpan.

"I'll be fine," was what she said, but "Oh fuck you," was what her tone meant. She walked away to go get her horse.

Once outside, Erna started running to catch up with everyone. She went to the first stable where their tack was kept and grabbed her saddle & bridle. She didn't bother going to her horse's stall, she knew they would already be outside. She went out the back of the stable and walked over a hill to where the horses were put out to graze every day. The Scout Corps didn't bother with building fences to pasture their horses. Instead they were let out each morning to graze in a large herd. They were bred for their calm temperament, so it was unlikely that they would spook and stampede and need to be caught again. Each night, they came back to the stables on their own.

Only Krista, Mikasa, and Armin had already caught and saddled their horses. Everyone else was annoyed that they hadn't reached the stable managers in time to warn them not to let their horses out. Some of the horses could be stubborn and slow to come when called. They hadn't bred that trait out yet. Erna stood next to Connie and put her saddle on the ground. Connie took a break from whistling. He turned to Erna and pointed at a bay gelding at the edge of the herd and said, "Look at the lazy ass. He always does this." He shouted at the horse, "Oi, Berto! Time to get to work, you stubborn mule!" Erna brought two fingers to her mouth and made a single long, high-pitched whistle. She stood and waited. After a few seconds Connie laughed, "Your horse must be as lazy as mine." Erna didn't respond. Connie heard the sound of galloping hooves and turned in the direction the sound came from. To their left, coming around from the back edge of the herd at a dead run was a large black horse with a white stripe going from its forehead to its nose. It closed the distance between them quickly and showed no sign of even thinking about slowing down. Connie backed away from Erna, who stood perfectly still. The horse was only about twenty strides away and looked intent on running them down. Connie turned to run, but tripped and landed on the ground, hands covering his head, thinking the horse was going to trample over both of them, but at the last second it locked its legs and slid to a stop in front of Erna who didn't even flinch. The horse pushed its head against Erna's abdomen, nuzzling her. Krista rode over and gushed, "Awww, Erna! Your horse loves you!" Connie got up and dusted himself off. He gave Erna an irritated look and said, "You could have warned me."

Erna picked up her saddle and looked at Krista, saying "Don't let her fool you. She's the meanest, most evil mare I've ever met." The horse tried to nuzzle her again and she pushed its nose away. "I didn't think I needed to warn you to run from a charging horse, Connie."

"I meant you could have warned me to not run like an idiot if she's not dangerous. I thought she was going to stomp me to death!"

Erna put her saddle on and cinched the girth. "I didn't know that she wouldn't." The horse lowered its head and let her put on the bridle. Erna put the reins over the horse's head and turned to Connie. "Can you give me a leg up?"

Connie was surprised. "You can't get on from the ground?"

Erna sighed, "Do I look tall enough to get up there?"

They all forgot sometimes how short Erna was. As he walked over, he asked, "Why would you even pick a horse that's too tall for you?"

"I don't know…" Erna thought about it and looked nostalgic, "When I was among the new recruits picking out horses, I was in the middle of the herd, wondering how anyone could be drawn to one horse in particular since they're all just horses –"

"Yeah, that sounds like you." Connie interrupted.

Erna gave him an annoyed look and continued, "Anyway, Raven trotted up to me and quick as a flash turned around to kick me. I turned around and started to run just barely in time and she kicked me square in the back. If I had been closer and still facing her, I think she would have kicked me in the chest and killed me. So I chose her."

"You are the weirdest…" Connie knelt down and cupped his hands and said "On three." Erna placed her left foot in his hands and he counted, "One… two… three." She jumped and he boosted her too hard so she almost went flying completely up and over the saddle. He grabbed her leg and pulled her back. "Oops!"

"Aish, Connie! How heavy do you think I am!?" Erna put her feet in the stirrups and picked up her reins. Connie just shrugged and smiled. Krista said, "You should hurry, I think we're all almost ready."

"Oh shit." Connie whistled for his horse and shouted at it again, "Stop ignoring me, you dumb mule!"

Erna started to ride off to join the others who were ready, but then stopped her horse, turned, and galloped to Connie's horse. She took off her belt and leaned over to tie it around the grazing horse's neck. She gave Berto a gentle tug and he followed her and Raven back to Connie.

"Thanks." Connie removed the belt and gave it back to Erna.

Erna shrugged, "Anything to get us all moving faster." She put her belt back on and rode out to the front of the castle where they would all meet. Levi was there when she reached them, standing on the ground next to his horse, waiting.

As Erna rode up, Levi could see that she was standing in her stirrups just slightly, keeping herself only about half an inch out of the saddle. He left his horse and walked over to her, stopping her at a short distance away from the rest of the squad. "Your file says that you show little sign of independent thought when out on missions. I'm only going to give you one directive: Only engage with titans if it will save a life and don't save any lives at the expense of your own." Erna nodded that she understood. "Take your feet out of your stirrups." Erna's shoulders slumped in disappointment. She did as he said, but tightened her thighs around the saddle to hold herself up without the support of the stirrups. "I'm taking these," he said as he removed the stirrups from her saddle.

Connie and Krista rode up and Levi mounted his horse. They rode out over the drawbridge along with two other squads. There were no speeches made about how this all worked or what was expected of them, most of them had been through it before. The Quartermaster Corps sent a small group with wagons of cargo outside the walls, the Wall Garrison sent three squads to flank and protect the wagons for the first three miles outside of the wall and the Survey Corps squads rode to meet them and guard the wagons the rest of the way to headquarters. There and back they would ride twenty miles give or take a few. Erna was able to hold herself up out of the saddle without her stirrups for the first six miles before her inner thigh muscles couldn't take it anymore. She cursed her decision to even try to stay out of the saddle without her stirrups. If she had thought it through she would have seen that it was impractical. Now, not only would her ass be sore, which it would have been anyway, but also her thigh muscles would be tight and burning by tomorrow. "Ouch, ouch, ouch, so stupid," she whispered to herself through her clenched teeth.

They rode fast. The route that they and the wagons took between the wall and headquarters was open grassland, devoid of forests or abandoned villages which was fairly nerve-racking. It made it easy to spot titans from a distance, but difficult to fight them with the 3DMG. The strategy was to go fast and avoid engaging titans if they were encountered. When they spotted the Quartermaster Corps, they closed in to flank them – a squad on each side and in front – and the Wall Garrison squads fell away. The change was made seamlessly without anyone slowing down.

Erna rode positioned on the outer wing of her squad's v-like formation on the eastern side of the wagons. No one tried to speak as they rode. The mood was tense, but after making it about half of the distance back to headquarters without an incident Erna thought maybe this was going to be an uneventful mission, which would be nice for a change. This line of thinking didn't last long. They heard the sound of a titan running at them, coming up on the western side of the formation. It was unnecessary to send up a flare. They could all see the 10m tall titan and they all simply rode faster. Erna watched the riders and wagons on the opposite side as they sped up and pulled away. The titan continued running after them but fell further and further behind. Everyone else was facing forward, watching out in front of them, but Erna could never turn her back on a titan as long as it was in sight. That is why she was the first to see when one of the wagons went over a deep divot in the ground and its driver was bounced from her seat. She flew through the air, but the horses pulling the wagon ran on, staying in their formation, so no one noticed. Erna called out to the others, "I'm going!" and spun Raven around to try and reach the woman before the titan could. The woman had the wind knocked out of her when she fell and was trying to get her breath back to scream, but before she could the titan was on her.

Levi ordered the rest of the squad to stay in formation and keep moving. He slowed his horse, falling back to the rear, but not changing direction to go help Erna. He had to have confidence in her and trust that she would heed his order to not save a life at the expense of her own. Still, he watched her to be sure. She was too far to reach the quartermaster soldier before the titan. She was still too far even to deploy her 3DMG by the time the titan picked up the woman, bringing her to its hideous mouth. Levi thought it would be too late. He was about to call Erna back, but before he could she brought her feet up, crouching balanced on her horse's back as it continued to run, she stood up and unsheathed her blades and was gone. Levi watched as she flitted through the air like a dragonfly.

Erna was annoyed that she hadn't been able to grab the woman before the titan and made a note to herself that Raven should start being forced to run laps around the castle instead of her. By the time she was close enough to reach the titan with her steel cables it was already bringing the screaming soldier into its mouth. There was no time to hamstring it and bring it to the ground before killing it. Erna's cables sunk into the monster's shoulder, she reeled herself in, released the cables, and cut the nape of its neck before it could eat the quartermaster soldier. There was only a moment before the titan began to fall. Erna shot her cables into the wrist of the hand that still held the other soldier tightly. She landed on its clenched hand and made a clean cut detaching the thumb which fell away, turning to steam. She grabbed the woman at the elbow before she could fall with it and pulled her up to where she stood. The woman stopped screaming and found her footing. Erna let go of her elbow, sheathed her blades, and then grabbed the back of the woman's jacket to help her keep her balance as they fell. She said calmly, "We have to ride this down. Jump before it hits the ground, but not too soon or you'll die on impact. When you do jump be sure to tuck and roll," she waited for the woman to nod that she understood and then brought the fingers of her free hand to her lips and whistled loudly, calling Raven to meet them about where they would land.

Erna kept holding the woman's jacket. She could feel her shaking. She would be in shock after they made it out of this. "Wait," Erna whispered into her ear. When they were about twenty feet from the ground, she gave her a push and said, "Jump," making sure she was clear before jumping herself and tucking her arms and legs. Erna landed a little behind the woman and got up running, picking the woman up by the hand and pulling her behind. Raven slowed to a stop in front of them and went down on her knees. Erna pushed the woman ahead of her. "Get on; we're light enough to ride double." The woman swung her leg over the saddle and Erna got on in front of her, tapping Raven with her heels when she was ready for her to get up.

As they took off at a breakneck gallop to catch up to the rest of the formation, Erna turned around and said, "I would apologize for not reaching you before the titan, but I blame Raven for that." She leaned down and patted the horse's neck, murmuring affectionately, "You're either lazy and out of shape or you're trying to kill me, you evil thing." She turned around again. "In any case, I'm going to drop you back in your wagon. I think if I tried to make her carry both of us all the way back to headquarters she would just buck us off and run." The woman didn't respond. Probably in shock, Erna thought.

They caught up with the formation. The horses pulling the wagon had never slowed down or veered off. Erna steered Raven to run alongside, getting as close as possible. She twisted herself to hold the woman tightly by the upper arm and told her, "Swing your leg over if you can. I won't let you fall." The woman was still shaking, but was able to swing her leg over in front of her and ride side saddle. "On three, jump for the wagon seat," Erna started counting quickly to use the woman's shock to her advantage. She didn't want to give her time to realize how dangerous this could potentially be. Hesitation would make it more dangerous. When she got to three, Erna lifted the woman by her upper arm and threw her as best she could. She fell more than jumped into the wagon seat, but either way, she was there and no longer Erna's responsibility. She slowed down and let the wagon pull away, and steered Raven to go fall back into her squad. They were now four miles away from headquarters. They made it back without any more incidents.

They rode through the drawbridge to the front of the castle where three fresh squads waited with their horses to escort the Quartermaster Corps back to the wall when the supplies were unloaded. The sun was starting to lower, so it would probably be dark by the time they left and they would have less of a chance of running into titans. Erna and the others dismounted and their horses were taken to be cooled down. Erna tried to stretch her legs. They hurt like hell. Someone tapped her shoulder and she turned around. She was surprised to see the woman she had rescued. She had brown hair in a ponytail and brown eyes and she was holding a wooden crate on her hip. She was still pretty shaken, but she stammered, "I, um, didn't thank you before. My name is Ada." She held out the small crate, it contained six bottles of wine and liquor, a highly valued commodity amongst the Survey Corps, since it was delivered to headquarters so rarely. Ada bowed her head saying, "You saved my life. Please take this as a show of my gratitude."

Erna looked at the crate and then at Ada. "You don't have to do that," she said, "Your life is worth more than some booze." The woman frowned, but Sasha appeared out of nowhere, pushing Erna out of the way and grabbing the crate from Ada, shouting, "Don't listen to her! We'll take this on her behalf, thank you so much! Have a safe journey back!" She held the crate over her head and began running to the castle, Connie being the first to chase after her yelling, "Sasha Braus! Don't you dare horde that all for yourself!"

Erna began walking to the castle. She felt like she wanted to lie in bed for at least eighteen hours. A hand took hold of her shoulder and turned her around. It was Levi. He looked into her eyes and asked, "So were you thinking out there?" Erna paused, but then answered honestly, "Not really… Only of what you told me. I calculated that I could save the woman without risking my own life, so I did."

"I see," was all Levi responded with. He looked past her to Sasha running into the castle followed by the rest of his squad. They were still children in some ways. "Go have a drink with your team members."

Erna gave him a tired look, "I just want to go to bed."

"It wasn't a request. Take it as an order. I'll join you guys after I talk to Erwin, so don't think you can get out of it and I won't find out." He turned her around and pushed her towards the castle.

Erna groaned and went to follow everyone else.

The dining hall was full and loud. Receiving a new supply shipment was basically an excuse to have a huge party. Erna put her head on the table and groaned, knowing that even if she could go to bed, it would be too loud to sleep until hours past midnight.

Jean poured himself another glass of wine, asking Erna for the third time, "You're sure you only want water?"

Eren shouted, "Stop trying to get the rookie drunk, Horse-face! It's creepy, even for you!" He took a long swig from a stein of ale.

Erna jumped in before they could really get into it. "It's fine, really. I just like to keep a clear head."

Sasha hiccupped, "That's no fun! You need to relax. Get drunk with us or you'll ruin the mood!"

Armin held up a wine bottle, "Yeah, this is all yours anyway. We'll feel bad taking it if you aren't having any."

Sasha grabbed the bottle from him and said, "Speak for yourself," while filling her glass.

Erna laughed and took a sip from her water. "If you're all drinking then I need to stay sober to save your drunken asses if anything happens."

"Nah, we can all still 3D maneuver while drunk," Connie slurred. He reached for the pitcher of ale in the middle of the table, but missed and almost knocked it over. Sasha saved it and slapped his hand away. Connie corrected himself, "Well, I'm pretty sure Mikasa can anyway."

They all looked to Mikasa whose head was now on Eren's shoulder. She had dozed off. Eren explained, "She's never been able to handle her liquor. She doesn't even stay awake long enough to act drunk." He shook her, but she didn't open her eyes. "Armin, help me carry her." Armin got up and they each put an arm over their shoulders, carrying Mikasa away with her feet dragging.

Sasha clapped her hands, "More for us!" She pointed at Erna with the wine bottle she was holding, "No excuses now. I want to see Drunk Erna!"

Krista leaned over to Erna and said quietly, "She won't leave you alone until you do. Just have a little so she'll stop yelling." Krista had been daintily sipping a small glass of wine and was nowhere near as shitfaced as everyone else.

Erna clenched her fists on the table. "I didn't even want the stupid crate! You took it, not me, so it's yours!"

Levi had been sitting at the other end of the table, silently drinking from a bottle of expensive whiskey and watching all of this. He stood up and everyone at the table shut up. He walked over to Erna, put a glass down in front of her, and when he'd filled it with about three ounces of whiskey he ordered her, "Drink."

"But I –," Erna was about to protest. Levi cut her off, "It's an order."

Erna quickly picked up the glass, gulped it down in one shot, and put it back down on the table. He poured out another three ounces admonishing her, "You're supposed to sip. Don't shoot it." He capped the bottle and went back to his seat at the other end of the table and everyone resumed drunkenly shouting at each other.

Later, Erna's head was spinning and her stomach felt warm. Levi had filled her glass again… once? Or twice? She wasn't sure. She felt silly and really talkative, but she had managed to keep her mouth shut thus far. She was determined not to act drunk because that was what they wanted and she didn't want to give them the satisfaction.

Sasha and Connie finally came to an agreement to disagree after a lengthy argument about whether or not Sasha could eat 100 hard-boiled eggs in an hour if given the opportunity. They would never be able to find out anyway because the kitchen hardly ever had that many eggs on hand at once. Sasha finally turned her attention back to Erna, teasing her, "Ernaaaaaa, your face is so red! Are you drunk, huh? Tell us something about yourself finally!"

Erna was defensive, "I don't not tell you guys stuff!"

Sasha argued, "What have you told us, like ever?"

Erna thought about it and then pointed to Connie, "I told Connie a story about how I chose my horse this morning! So there."

Connie was supporting his head on his fist. "Truth!" he exclaimed. He took another drink and slurred, "But you did make me give you a leg up when apparently your horshe kneelsh down for you to get on."

Erna waved her empty glass, "She doesn't do it all the time. I never know what she's going to do, I'm not some master horse trainer."

"None of that counts anyway! You never tell us anything really personal! We're supposed to be a team! You have to tell us stuff!" Sasha whined.

"I'm not as interesting as you guys make me out to be," Erna tried to deflect, "What about Jean, how much do you know about him?"

"Pfft. Jean's boring. Perfectly normal, except for his face," Sasha replied.

Jean slammed his glass down on the table. "I'm sick of you idiots! I'm going to bed!" He walked out of the dining hall.

Sasha called after him, "Jean, don't be mad, you know we pick on you because we love you!"

Eren called after him too, "Not me! I genuinely dislike you!"

Armin reached over and put his hand on Erna's shoulder, he was a touchy and affectionate drunk. "What about where you're from, Erna? Where's your family?"

Erna shrugged off Armin's hand and said quietly, "They're dead."

Sasha gasped, "Oh no, not your wolf-parents!"

Eren saw Levi raise an eyebrow and leaned over to him, "It's an inside joke."

Levi took another sip of whiskey. "Good. I was worried she'd killed her last brain cell."

Erna's mouth formed a sad smile, "No, my real parents. My whole family, actually."

Krista's eyes welled up with tears, as they usually did when she was drinking... and when she wasn't drinking. She looked like a sad angel. "I'm so sorry. Was it titans?" she asked.

Erna looked down at the table and spoke calmly, "No, it was completely my fault. I was the youngest of five and my family loved me, but they were too poor to afford another child, so when I was 7 they sold me as a servant to a wealthy family in Hermina. They didn't treat me horribly, but I was young and I missed my family, so I escaped and found my way home. Of course that was the first place they looked for me. To make an example of me to the other servants they killed my family and brought me back. I was an effective reminder to the other servants that if they tried to leave, their families would also be killed. After that, I didn't feel angry or sad. I just stopped feeling anything altogether. One day I was in the kitchen and I overheard the cooks talking about how people who starve to death feel euphoria right before they die, so I tried to starve to death, but someone would always force me to eat. I would faint a lot and one time when I was 15, I fainted and I guess my pulse was light enough that they thought I finally died. Rather than explain a dead servant to the military police, they left my body in an alley, so I would just look like any anonymous homeless kid who starved to death. Someone kind found me and revived me and forced me to eat. I kept trying to die, but someone would always find me and feed me or save me from the cold. It was really annoying. Then a wall guard found me and forced me to join the Trainee Corps because they were under the recruitment quota. I got strong quickly and I wanted to help and be useful. Everyone else was so afraid of death because they actually liked their lives. Everyone had things to live for and I felt guilty that I would probably live longer than them when I didn't even get half the enjoyment out of being alive that they did. The Trainee Corps made me see that life was only wasted on me and that if I was going to justify my being alive while so many died, I needed to use my life to save as many others from dying as possible. So when I graduated I joined the Survey Corps, and then they put me here." She sighed and folded her arms on the table, resting her head on them. "It's all really very boring."

Everyone was silent. Tears ran in a steady stream down Krista's cheeks.

Levi got up and walked over to Erna, "Okay, let's get you to bed." He took one of her arms to pull her up and she whined, "I've never been drunk before, I don't even understand how you walk like this." So Levi pulled her hands over his shoulders. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he hooked his arms around her legs to carry her piggyback so that he could also carry the half-empty bottle of whiskey in one hand. He told the rest of them, "I probably don't need to tell you this, but you all have the day off from training tomorrow." He walked out with Erna on his back.

Connie punched Sasha in the arm, "Nice one, Sasha!"

Sasha shouted "Ow! How is this my fault!? Armin is the one who asked! Why don't you hit him?"

"Nah, you're more fun to pick on," Connie responded.

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Levi made his way through the corridors, filled with soldiers in various states of drunkenness, stumbling, singing, fighting, and flirting. "This place is going to be such a mess in the morning…"

Erna waved her feet and murmured in his ear, "I need my stirrups back. Can't ride without them anymore."

Levi kicked open the door to his office. He closed the door behind them and set Erna down to stand in front of the desk. He opened the bottle in his hand, drained half of what was left, and set it down on the desk saying, "Well that was depressing. You're just a little bundle of survivor's guilt, aren't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Erna took off her jacket and dropped it. "So hot!"

Levi wondered, "Do you remember the last five minutes?"

"Nope." Erna struggled with the buckles of her 3DMG harness.

"Do you remember being in the dining hall?"

Erna groaned, frustrated, "No. Why do I have to remember things?" She finally got her harness undone and took it off along with her boots, "So much better."

So she's blackout drunk, Levi thought. How many shots did he give her? Six or eight? Oh well. He decided to test out how confessional she was feeling. "Erna, look at me."

"Hai, Captain Levi!" she saluted and smiled.

"Have you ever had any friends?" Levi asked as a litmus test.

"I've been friendly with people, but no, I haven't had what a normal person would call a friend." She answered with blunt honesty.

"No boyfriends?"

"Wouldn't I have to have friends first?" Erna answered with a question, but when Levi scowled at her, she realized he was looking for more of a yes or no, "No, Captain Levi."

"So you've never been with a man?" He asked.

"No." She answered simply.

"Never seen a man naked?"

"I've seen lots of people naked. The trainee corps is kind of a naked-fest whenever people remember that they could die any day. There's a lot of skinny dipping and a lot of sex. I was just never interested."

So Levi didn't need to ask if she was a virgin. "Have you ever touched yourself?" This question finally made Erna's face turn even redder than it had been since she started drinking. She looked at the floor. "Answer me."

"Not until I came here." Erna added, "Not until I met you."

"What do you think about?" Levi leaned in closer to her.

Erna paused for a long moment. "Nothing," she lied.

That's as good an answer as any, he thought. "You know I have to punish you for lying."

"Are you going to cane me again?" She sounded worried, but maybe also a little excited.

"No, nothing that fun." Levi answered her as he unbuttoned her pants and pulled them down, cupping her ass and lifting her onto the desk.

"Ow, ow, ow," she winced when her ass hit the desk. Levi's lips formed a wry smile. He pulled her pants all the way off and let them fall to the floor. He pushed her legs apart. She was wearing white cotton panties, of course, perfectly practical in every way. Levi stood between her legs and lightly stroked the fabric and made her shiver. He rubbed her harder and she wrapped her legs around him. She clenched the edge of the desk on either side of her tightly in her hands. He could feel the fabric of her panties slowly getting wet as she pushed her face into his shirt, muffling her moans. With his free hand, Levi reached behind her, grabbed the whiskey bottle, and took another drink while she bucked her hips, trying to grind harder against his teasing fingers. He set the bottle down again and whispered in her ear, "Tell me how you make yourself come." Her breathing was ragged. She got out between gasps and moans, "I… can't…" He stopped rubbing her and she whimpered. He gave her an evil smile and slid his hand down inside her panties and parted her lips, finding her opening and sliding a finger in. She gasped and tightened around him, almost drawing him into her. He drew his finger partially out and she tightened her legs around him, only relaxing when he slid it all the way back in.

Erna had only ever rubbed her clit when she touched herself, so the feeling of having a finger inside her was totally new. She was completely lost in the feeling, unaware of what she was doing. She didn't realize her hands had left the desk and were now grabbing fistfuls of Levi's shirt to pull him closer until he told her, "If you wrinkle it, I'm going to stop." She immediately let go and put her hands back on the desk, leaning back a little and trying to spread her legs further for him. "Good girl," he lightly rubbed her clit with his thumb as he kept pumping his middle finger in and out of her. Erna felt her mind going blank again. It was like every anxiety and every bad feeling was flooding out of her brain leaving only white space. She didn't even hear the click of the door handle.

Levi withdrew his fingers and turned around to see Eren frozen in shock, hand still on the door. "Step in here and close the door, you idiot," he said calmly. Erna opened her eyes, yelped, and closed her legs, blushing like mad. Eren still stood frozen, eyes wide and mouth open. Levi wasted no time. The best way to keep someone quiet about your indiscretions was to make them complicit in them. He walked past Eren and locked the door so no one else would enter without knocking. He took Eren by the arm and pulled him over in front of the desk, pushing him down to his knees in front of the wide-eyed Erna whom he pulled off of the desk. He turned her around, bent her over the desk, and ripped her panties off. She couldn't help squirming, trying to get up. He pinned her hands behind her back and pressed down. "Don't struggle." She stopped and held still. Now, Levi addressed Eren, who was staring, completely dumbfounded, "I want you to try to make her come."

Eren thought maybe he had drunk too much and passed out and this was a horrible, wonderful dream. "… What?"

Levi kicked Erna's feet apart. "I. Want. You. To try. To make. Her. Come," he said more slowly. "I don't care how, just don't fuck her. I'm not in that much of a sharing mood."

Eren didn't know what to do. This felt like a trap. He was too drunk and too confused and totally shocked. It wasn't like he hadn't thought about what it would be like to be with Erna, every guy thought about fucking every girl on the squad at some point or another. He knew because they all talked about it. This was not at all like any one of the scenarios in which he imagined hooking up with her, but he stared at her perfect, wet pussy and he decided, trap or no, this was too good an opportunity.

"If I have to say it again, I'm going to rescind my offer and throw you out the window," Levi broke Eren's reverie. He sounded completely serious. Eren thought it was lucky that he actually wanted to do what Levi was asking because it sounded like he didn't have a choice either way. He just didn't know how to start, he was thinking too much until Levi snapped him out of his thinking with his cold voice, "Now."

Eren leaned forward and gave Erna a slow, tentative lick from her clit up to her wet opening. She flinched at the touch of his tongue and gasped. Levi rolled his eyes, thinking "Finally," and sat down in his desk chair. He watched Erna's face. She closed her eyes and bit her lip, she wouldn't let herself moan. Levi downed more of the whiskey. If he drank enough, he wouldn't be able to get hard and he wouldn't be able to take advantage of the girl. He didn't want her first time to be a clumsy, drunk mess that he would regret and she wouldn't remember. He could see Eren was relaxing and getting into it without someone standing over him, but Erna remained determined not to make a sound. Levi snapped his fingers in front of her face, she opened her eyes. He leaned forward in his chair and told her quietly, "I order you to relax and let yourself enjoy this." Erna quit biting her lip and seemed to relax her muscles a little. She still looked conflicted over whether or not she should moan for anyone but him. He pressed his middle finger to her lips, telling her "Taste yourself." She opened her mouth and sucked his finger much more eagerly than he was expecting. He felt his cock start to get hard and he took his finger back out of her mouth and quickly grabbed the whiskey bottle and drank all that was left.

Erna's breathing came in gasps. Eren plunged his tongue deep into her and she couldn't stop herself from moaning anymore. She looked away from Levi and pressed her forehead into the cool desk. Her moans excited and encouraged Eren and he grabbed her ass with both hands as he alternated swirling his tongue around her clit and pushing his tongue into her, trying to fuck her with his tongue as best he could. She let out a short scream as his hands on her ass made pain and heat radiate through her body. She lost control and moved her hips to try to deepen the thrusts of his tongue. He grabbed her ass harder, unaware that it hurt like hell. She gasped into the desk, "I can't… I'm…" and suddenly it all stopped. She lifted her head and opened her eyes. Levi was no longer in his desk chair. She looked behind her and he was pulling Eren up by the back of his neck. "That's enough," he said, "I said I wanted you to _try_ to make her come, not succeed."

Erna groaned. Levi grabbed her elbow and pulled her up from the desk. He took her pants from the floor and handed them to her. She reluctantly put them on along with her boots and she picked up her discarded 3DMG harness. Levi looked at Eren and said, "Take her back to her room. Obviously, don't tell anyone about this." He paused, then added, "And don't touch her. If you do, I'll find out and I'll kill you." Eren believed that the threat wasn't an exaggeration. Levi looked at Erna. "And you don't touch yourself." Erna blushed. Levi waved them away saying, "You can go," as he turned around, "I have to clean my desk."

Eren walked Erna back through the corridors to her room in what he thought was probably the most awkward silence that ever existed in human history. Just to make it extra awkward, he had a raging hard-on. But Erna didn't seem to notice and neither did anyone else they passed in the corridors. Everyone was too drunk by now to notice anything. When they got to her room, Erna opened the door, turned to him and said, "Good night." What he wanted to respond with was, "What the fuck just happened!?" but what came out was "Um…" Erna sighed at him and said, "Look, we probably won't remember this. And if we do, let's just pretend that we don't." Eren was perplexed by the whole situation and how she could be so composed, but he managed to get out, "Oh… yeah… that's easy enough," which was a lie. "Well… I'll see ya." Internally he face-palmed, thinking "So smooth… I'm an idiot." He decided to just walk away before he could say anything else. Before he got far, Erna asked him, "Hey Eren, what did you go to Levi's office for anyway?" Eren turned around to answer, "You know what? Truthfully, I can't remember." Erna yawned, "Oh well," and she closed her door.

On the walk back to his room, Eren kept thinking of things that he desperately wanted to do now but then he would remember that Levi would kill him. "I should tell Jean that I hooked up with Erna… He'll be so pissed… Oh wait, no, the death thing… Fuck." He got to his room; his hard-on still hadn't gone away. He started undressing and tried to remember what Levi had said and make a mental checklist, "Don't tell anyone – check. Take her back to her room – check. Don't touch her – check, unfortunately." He got into bed and thought, "He only told Erna she couldn't touch herself… right? I hope I'm remembering that right."

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******(A/N)**

**I don't know if you can tell from this chapter, but I ship Connie x Sasha so hard. I may work something regarding that into this story later. Also, sometimes I worry that I write Connie a little bit like Aang because they look so much alike to me.**

**While I do not dislike Jean as a character, I do dislike Eren sometimes. I think he's dumb. But he just seemed right to put in that scene even though his and Erna's names are too similar and that really stands out when they are in the same paragraph.**

**I really try to end chapters on something cute or funny. Despite my love of S&M, I am not an angst-y person and I don't like for things to be uber-dramatic.**

**Thank you for reading! I probably love you!**


	7. Rhetorical Questions

**(A/N) I think there might actually be no smut in this one. There is friendship though! It's so sweet, you guys!**

**I don't own Attack on Titan. But I would marry it if I could.**

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Erna bolted upright in bed. It was late. She was late for training. There weren't any windows in her room, but she could feel it. Her head pounded like someone had taken a hammer to her forebrain. She wondered what the fuck happened last night as she jumped out of bed and got dressed. Was she poisoned? It felt like she was poisoned. Would that be an okay excuse for being late? She splashed some cold water on her face and ran out the door still pulling her boot on. Everything was much quieter than usual. She turned a corner and saw two people lying seemingly dead in the corridor. She ran over and checked one of them for a pulse. The food they got in the supply shipment the night before had to have been poisoned, that was the most logical conclusion. She found a pulse and was relieved. She was about to check the other man, but he was snoring, so… no. She stood up and tried hard to remember anything. She was interrupted by Mikasa's voice, "What are you doing in uniform?"

Erna turned around. Mikasa was wearing a white long-sleeve tee and black leggings and, of course, her scarf. "What are you doing out of uniform?" Erna responded.

Mikasa smiled. "The squads that escort supply runs always get the next day off."

Erna tried to process this, "So no training?"

"No training." Mikasa smirked at Erna's confusion, "Did you fall asleep as early as I did?"

"I don't know. The last thing I can remember is returning from the mission," Erna said, clearly distressed.

Mikasa tried to comfort her, "I think you're experiencing a blackout. Don't worry, things get pretty crazy when we get a supply shipment in. You're definitely not the only one whose memories are fuzzy."

"So I was drunk? That would explain why my head feels like a donkey kicked it?" Erna asked.

"Yes." Though Mikasa hadn't been there to see Erna drinking, she was sure that was a safe bet.

"I'm glad you were here. I thought we were all poisoned."

Mikasa nodded at the sleeping people in the corridor, "I can see how you would think that. Come on, I was going to get breakfast."

Mikasa and Erna had to fend for themselves in the kitchen. Erna put water on for coffee and Mikasa handed her a roll, "I know you don't eat breakfast, but if you don't eat anything and just drink coffee your stomach is going to hurt worse than your head." Erna took the roll and responded, "Thanks. I've never been hung over. Actually, I've never been drunk. I wish I could remember what it was like and if it was worth the hangover."

"Your memories will probably come back to you eventually. At least you're not alone. No one from our squad is awake yet. They'll probably wake up in the early afternoon in as much or more pain than you're in now."

"You seem fine, did you not drink?"

Mikasa smiled, "No, I don't think anyone's allowed not to drink. I just fall asleep pretty quickly after drinking a little. I never have hangovers, but I have a lot of experience babysitting hung over people," she was referencing her teammates.

Erna finished making the coffee and said, "You take good care of them." She poured it out into two mugs and handed one to Mikasa who nodded and simply said, "They're my friends."

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Erna went to Levi's office and opened the door, walking in without bothering to knock. He was at his desk holding his head and writing something. He didn't look up at her. "Doesn't anyone knock anymore?" Erna closed the door behind her and apologized. Levi looked at her and looked down at his paperwork again, asking "Why are you in uniform?"

Erna sighed, annoyed at having to explain this for like the third time this morning, "I don't have any other clothes. It's not like I can go into town and go shopping." Levi was wearing a dark red button-down shirt and black pants, still pretty formal even when he was being casual. He admonished her, "Keep your voice down. So shrill." He had a splitting headache.

Erna said very quietly, "Sorry."

Levi put down his pen, frustrated, "I can't do this in here." He picked up the papers and went over to the door separating the office from his apartment. "Come on."

Erna followed him to his living room. He tossed the papers onto the coffee table and sat on one of the couches. He leaned back, closed his eyes and massaged his temples, telling Erna, "Sit."

Erna went to sit in one of the big, comfy armchairs, but Levi stopped her, "Not on the furniture." His eyes aren't even open, how does he always know what I'm doing? She wondered to herself. Levi pointed at the floor next to him and Erna went over and got on her knees. He opened his eyes, leaning forward and picking up the papers again. "What are you doing?" Erna asked him.

"Filling out a report about the escort mission," he answered. Erna laid her head in his lap. He stroked her hair absentmindedly while scanning what he had filled out so far. He asked her, "How do you feel?" She yawned, "Not good. I would have gone back to sleep, but everything hurts too much and when I close my eyes I feel like I'm spinning. Mikasa says I'm hung over, but I don't even remember getting drunk."

Levi flipped a page, telling her, "At least you don't have to work."

She sighed, "I hate days off."

Levi tossed the report back on the coffee table again. His eyes were having trouble focusing. "Then you can do this report, it's your fault I have to make one anyway. We only have to fill out reports for escort missions if any titans are killed. Now I have to get this to Erwin before this afternoon." Erna looked at the papers and then back up at him, "I don't know how." Sometimes her innocence killed him. "I know," he said. He leaned back and massaged his temples again. "Go draw me a bath. You should be able to manage that." She got up and quietly tiptoed out of the room and soon he heard the water running. He started his report again and a few minutes later he heard the water stop. He waited; she didn't come back to the living room right away, so he shouted just loudly enough for her to hear in the other room, "Stop snooping through my things." He heard something fall. She hurried into the living room, "It was just… I was… Nothing…" He raised an eyebrow at her and she stamped her foot, "How do you know everything anyway!?" He put the report down on the coffee table again, still unfinished, walking back towards the bedroom and telling her, "You're dismissed."

She whined at him, "Noooo, please. I can't stand days off! Give me something else to do! I'll do anything!" Her high-pitched tone felt like a spike driving into his forehead, he told her, "I can't do this with you right now. I order you to enjoy your day off. Don't bother me again until later tonight."

Erna pouted, "Yes, Sir…" When he walked away, she went over to the door, grabbing her boots she had forgotten two nights ago. They were exactly where she had left them. She tiptoed out and shut the door quietly behind her.

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Around 5pm Mikasa found Erna outside the castle, standing about 20m from the grazing horses. She heard Erna whistle and her horse left the herd and galloped over to her, stopping right in front of her and nickering. Erna took a carrot from her pocket and was breaking it into pieces when Mikasa reached her and said quietly, "Everyone wondered what you did when we weren't training."

Erna held a piece of carrot out to the horse. "You found me," she sounded tired. Mikasa reassured her, "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

Erna held out more carrot pieces as they were snatched up and devoured. "How did you figure it out?" she asked without taking her eyes off of Raven.

"When Krista thought your horse was being affectionate yesterday, I saw she was actually just sniffing your pockets."

The carrot was gone and Erna put her hands behind her back. The horse turned to Mikasa, sniffing at her. Mikasa held out her hands to show that she had nothing and was pulled back by Erna just in time to watch a hoof fly past her head. After kicking at her, Raven ran back to rejoin the herd. Erna sounded apologetic, "I should have warned you. She gets angry when she finds out you don't have food." She sat down on the soft grass, watching the horses graze, and Mikasa sat next to her. It was so peaceful, Erna thought, one could almost forget that they lived in a nightmare world.

"Are you feeling better?" Mikasa asked.

"Slowly," Erna answered, "You were right. I'm slowly starting to remember things." She paused, "But then I'm not sure if they're reliable memories."

Mikasa smiled and put her hand on Erna's shoulder, "I'm sure everyone will help you fill in the gaps at dinner… and boast about how much they drank and then complain about how hung over they still feel."

Erna lay back on the grass, folding her hands behind her head and watching the clouds. They were quiet for a while. Mikasa finally said, "Eren told me you and Levi are together." Erna winced. Her recovered memory regarding the previous night and Eren was one of the ones she didn't think could be real, but that would explain how he knew. "That's all he said?" Erna asked. "Yes," Mikasa answered. Erna was relieved. She didn't want Mikasa to resent her, not just for practical reasons, but because more than anyone else Mikasa treated her with genuine compassion like she was pretty sure a friend would.

Erna knew it was useless to deny anything, "I don't know if "'together'" is accurate. It's… I dunno… it's weird. I can't tell what he feels about me. He gives me what I need, but it's possible he only does it to keep me thinking clearly so I can continue to be useful to you guys."

Mikasa was quiet for a second and then said, "I think I could tell that you loved him before you could." Erna nodded, she didn't doubt it. Mikasa had proven herself to be incredibly observant. Mikasa went on, "And I don't think he would devote so much attention to you if he didn't like you being around. I think you two just express yourselves differently from most people."

Erna sat up and looked at Mikasa, quietly asking, "How do you know so much?" Mikasa smiled and shrugged.

Erna turned back to watch the grazing horses and teased, "You're too smart for Eren, you know." Mikasa wouldn't admit that she liked him, but said, "He's not the smartest, but he's very earnest and sincere."

Erna sighed, "I feel so strange lately." Mikasa put her arm around Erna's shoulders, "I know. You've been different the past few days. It was hard to figure what you thought or felt before, but it's easier now."

"I didn't feel anything before…" Erna sighed, "Now colors seem brighter, more saturated… All these new feelings are a lot to take in. It's all very over stimulating. I don't know how people manage it."

Mikasa squeezed her hand, "You'll get used to it."

Erna said quietly, "How do you know?"

"We're friends, I think I know you pretty well."

Erna leaned her head on Mikasa's shoulder and asked, "Since we're friends, will you do me a favor?"

"Of course," Mikasa replied, thinking Erna was going to ask her not to tell anyone about her and Levi. Even if she did want to tell anyone, which she didn't, no one would believe her anyway.

"Will you cut my hair?"

Mikasa was caught off guard and didn't answer right away. Finally she said, "Sure."

"But I want real bangs. I don't know how you can stand having it in your face all the time."

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Mikasa and Erna came to dinner late-ish. Everyone was already halfway through eating. Connie dropped his fork and pointed at Erna, yelling, "Holy shit! Did that happen last night?!" Everyone turned to see Erna's hair cut into a chin-length bob of curls with her bangs falling neatly straight over her forehead. "You can't criticize anyone's hair, Connie," Sasha scolded him and rubbed his peach fuzz.

Connie pushed her hands away, smoothing his stubble as if she had messed it up, "I didn't say it looks bad, I was just afraid that was one more thing I couldn't remember from last night."

"It looks very nice, Erna," Krista smiled.

Erna frowned and sat down. She didn't want them to think she did it in order to look nice. "There was just no point in keeping it long and having to tie it up every day. This is easier."

Jean saw that she was uncomfortable with the attention her hair was getting, so he changed the subject asking, "Why are you in uniform?"

Erna groaned and put her head down on the table.

Around 9pm Erna passed Levi's office and knocked on the door to his apartment instead, guessing that was where he would be. After a few seconds, she decided to just go in. She knew he never seemed to answer when you knocked on his office door. It was probably because people who knew him well would enter either way and people who didn't would just go away after a minute. She closed the door and saw him sitting on the couch, head tilted back, pretty much the way he was this morning. "Did you finish work?" she asked him.

Levi straightened his neck and looked at her, his face didn't change from its usual unreadable expression, but he said "Oh my god." He stood up and walked over to her. Her curls that he used to only be able to see when she pulled them out of her tight bun were now perfect large spirals framing her face. She looked more like a porcelain doll than a human being. He spun one of her curls around his finger and asked, "What did you do?"

"I cut my hair…"

"That was a rhetorical question. I can see that you cut your hair." He pulled on a curl and let it go. It bounced back perfectly into place. "You look so much younger. Are you trying to make me feel like a pervert?"

"… Is that a rhetorical question?"

He glared at her and she stammered, "I – It was not my intention to make you feel like a pervert, Captain Levi."

He leaned in closer to her, "What am I going to do with you?"

"Punish me!?" her eyes glowed. She sounded way too happy.

Levi smiled, "What do you think is a fitting punishment?"

"Anything!" She leaned against him and nuzzled her head into his chest.

"Anything at all?" He tried to think of something she actually wouldn't enjoy. As much as he liked making her scream, he couldn't let her think she would always get what she wanted.

"Mm-hmm," she murmured.

"Then you have the day off tomorrow. That's your punishment."

Erna pushed away from him. "No! What? You can't!"

"Don't argue with me," he said coldly.

Erna groaned, "Please, please, please, do anything else!"

"Two days off and you're not allowed to touch yourself again until I say otherwise. Do you want to keep going?"

Erna's jaw dropped. She could not even fathom the thought of two whole days of free time. "No, Sir." She looked at the floor and turned to leave.

"And don't try to go to Hange to assign you tasks," Levi added.

"Damnit!" Erna shouted and slammed the door behind her.

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**(A/N)**

**Even though I'm writing an AU, I struggle with questions like "Ok, they don't have electricity, but could they have running water?" and "Can I make this character say "Oh my god" if there is no god based religion in this society? Then I'm like "AU! Whatevs!"**


	8. Idle Hands

**(A/N) Comic relief. Then emotions. Then comic relief. Then sex. Then cuteness. This is the order in which things should happen in real life.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan or any of its characters. I own my imagination type things like my OC and these words you may or may not be about to read.**

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"So sulky, Erna." They sat at a table eating breakfast and Sasha poked at Erna with the end of a roll. "I think you need to eat more."

"She's cranky because she has the day off," Connie told Sasha.

Erna's arms were crossed tightly over her chest and she stared down at her coffee. "Two days," she corrected him as she knocked the roll out of Sasha's hand.

Sasha picked the roll up off of where it landed on the floor and dusted it off, muttering "You brat. I'd kill to have three days off in a row." She took a bite out of her floor roll.

"I just want to be useful and helpful to humanity." Erna pouted. "How is a vacation conducive to that?"

"Fine," Sasha said between mouthfuls, "If it will make you feel better, I'll let you clean my room." Erna glared at her. "What?" She held up her hands in defense. "That would help me! I'm humanity."

"I'm not so sure about that," Jean chimed in.

"Sasha's more human than you, Horse-face." Eren couldn't resist.

Jean stood up and yelled, "You literally transform into a titan!"

Eren stood up, puffing out his chest and pointing at Jean, but before he could get out what he was going to say Mikasa pulled him away, saying "Come on, we'll be late." Everyone stood but Erna. As everyone walked away, Sasha gave Erna a light tap with her fist and said, "Enjoy your day off," just to be extra annoying.

Erna rested her chin on the table. A stray curl fell in front of her face and she blew it out of the way. "Stupid hair. This is your fault." She was going insane. Was Levi really doing this because he didn't like her haircut? He hadn't said that it looked bad, just that it made her look younger. He wasn't wrong. She had noticed her teammates treating her a little bit more like a child, which at first she had thought was just overfamiliarity – she wasn't scary to them anymore. She made a mental note to knock somebody out again soon, just to remind them that she was to be taken seriously.

But she didn't think Levi was torturing her like this because of her hair. That would be silly. She had done much worse things in the past than make herself look cute. Maybe that was it; maybe she needed to do worse things. She thought of all kinds of things that would piss off Levi, but decided against trying any of them. It wasn't worth the risk that he might just punish her with further time off and masturbation bans… which were just ridiculously awful now that she could remember Levi teasing her with his fingers and making her suck on them and … goddamnit. She needed something to do. Hange work was out, Levi had probably already spoken with her. It was a long shot, but she could try to go over Levi's head.

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Erna found Erwin walking and talking over some papers with one of the squad leaders. She saluted them and Erwin put his hand on the other man's back, asking him to get back to him later. He turned to Erna, "I haven't seen you in a while. I hope things are well with your new assignment."

"Hai, Commander Erwin, thank you for adding me to the elite squad, it's an honor," Erna said flatly. She paused and then added in a softer tone, "It's just… I was hoping to be busier…"

"I see. What does Levi have you doing now?"

"Forced vacation time," Erna frowned. "Isn't there anything I could do? Can't you order me to do something else?"

Erwin laughed, "There are always too many things to do around here. I would, but I don't question Levi's methods. You better just accept the vacation time."

Erna said quietly, "To be perfectly candid, Sir, I feel guilty when I'm not actively doing anything to help."

Erwin put a hand on her shoulder, "Erna, I know you haven't had a chance to rest since you joined the Survey Corps. You're very skilled and very dedicated," he paused, looking somewhat troubled, "and we thanked you for your skill and dedication by overusing you. Now that you're an elite squad member you're going to have to get used to being used more appropriately and not expect to carry everyone and do everything. The elite squad is assigned fewer missions, but they're of greater importance. Your squad normally wouldn't have even been on that escort mission the other day, but Levi insisted."

"I understand, Sir." Erna sounded disappointed.

"You're going to have to accept that you're being useful to us just by being here."

Erna nodded and saluted, "Hai, Commander Erwin."

Erwin felt bad for the girl. He knew that of all the soldiers under his command she was the least deserving of this guilt complex that tortured her, but on a tactical level her self-abuse worked to their advantage. She was a good soldier because she worked harder and she worked harder because she felt like it wasn't good enough. It was exploitative, but as Commander of the Survey Corps he hoped she would never stop feeling guilty. On a human level, he couldn't help feeling paternal towards the girl. Her youthful look and size would probably bring that instinct out in anyone if not for the cold, dead look in her eyes most of the time, but right now she looked sad and vulnerable. "I appreciate your candor. Come to me anytime you need to talk." She nodded and began to walk away, but he stopped her and added with a smirk, "But don't come to me to try to go over Levi's head and contradict his orders."

Erna felt defeated. Her last resort was a failure. "No Sir. I apologize."

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Connie left the shared washroom on his floor feeling great. Training was hard, but a hot bath feels even better when you're exhausted and sore, he thought. He whistled on the way back to his room, but was distracted when he noticed two blonde heads of hair huddled and looking out a corridor window. He went over and surprised Armin and Krista, loudly inquiring "What are we watching?" He looked out the second story window and saw nothing.

"Wait for it," Armin told him.

Two seconds later, Connie saw Erna on Raven, galloping around the castle and just like that she was out of sight again. "She's been racing laps around the castle for half an hour… maybe longer, but we noticed her half an hour ago," Armin told him.

"That was 3 minutes," Krista estimated.

Armin calculated quietly to himself, "She's averaging something like a one minute mile."

"Exercising on vacation time. Right. That's totally sane and normal," Connie said sarcastically. "I'm not worried about it. I'll worry when she stops being weird." They kept watching, but after a couple of minutes they didn't see any sign of her. "Maybe she's done," Connie said. Then they saw Raven trot around the corner, rider-less, and put her head down to graze. Krista immediately feared the worst and began to run to go down and see if Erna was okay, but Connie stopped her, calling her back and pointing out the window. They saw Erna angrily stalking up behind the horse and yelling, "You lazy jerk! You know you need the exercise! Get back here!" Raven ignored her and kept grazing, but when Erna got close to her, she kicked at her, trotted further away, and put her head down to graze again. Connie laughed, enjoying that someone else's horse was as much of a lazy ass as his.

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After taking a long time to completely scrub away the dirt and grass she had acquired when Raven bucked her off, Erna skipped dinner. She didn't want to hear any more teasing from her teammates. She knocked on Levi's office door and let herself in. He looked up from his desk and asked in a bored tone, "Did you come to whine some more?"

Erna saluted and tried to sound very professional, "No, Sir, I came to very respectfully inquire as to whether I could be given permission to begin training with the team again. I personally believe I've had enough time off, but I will unquestioningly respect any decision you make."

"That's better," he said. He motioned for her to come over behind the desk and she kneeled in front of him. "Have you thought about the reason that you insist on working yourself to death?" he asked her.

Erna thought for a second. "I've never considered it," she answered honestly.

"Don't you think it has something to do with the way your family was killed, leading you to think that you don't have any intrinsic right to life?" When he finished the question, he could see Erna's face change dramatically from a cold calm to shock as if she had just been stabbed in the chest.

Erna's mind reeled. She was shocked that Levi knew about her family. She couldn't remember summarizing her childhood for everyone when they were drinking the other night. She almost started to think about what he was saying, but it was painful, so she chose to block it from her mind. Her face returned to its usual calm and she answered, "I've never considered it."

Levi sighed, "You're going to have to get over this."

"You sound like Erwin," Erna knew she had slipped up the second she said it.

Levi raised an eyebrow at her. "You talked to Erwin?" She paused, but finally nodded. "To try and go over my head and undermine my order to take time off from working?" He said this in a more matter of fact tone than a questioning one. Erna looked at the floor. "Trying to deny it isn't going to help you, you know."

Erna sighed, "Am I really so predictable?"

"To me you are. I'm only surprised that you didn't try to go to Hange."

Erna asked, "You checked with her?"

"Of course." He lifted her chin to look at him, "I know you think this is very unfair, but there's a reason for it."

"It's not really my hair, is it? It'll grow back."

"No, it's not. But really, for fucks sake, you already looked too young before. Now you don't even look real. You look like a fucking doll," he teased her.

"That's not fair. You look young too."

"How old do you think I am?" Levi raised an eyebrow at her.

She paused, thinking, and then said, "I don't like this game. This feels like a trap."

"Answer honestly and you won't be in trouble."

She looked at his eyes, as if studying them. "Twenty-six?" He didn't answer. "Thirty?" He half-smiled at her. "You're not going to tell me even if I get it right, are you?"

"No, but for the record: you weren't right. Let's just say I'm too old for you."

Erna pouted, "Does that mean you won't punish me anymore?"

"I'm punishing you right now."

Erna groaned, frustrated, "I don't even understand what for!"

"This isn't fun for me either." He leaned down and moved his face closer to hers, "Do you really think I wouldn't rather bend you over this desk and smack your ass until your screams turn to moans and you beg me to let you come?"

Erna's eyes glazed over. Now she couldn't think of anything else.

"But we're not doing that," he shattered her daydream, "because first I want you to accept the idea that you're just as worthy of life as anyone else whether you're being helpful to the cause of humanity or not."

"… I'll try…"

Levi had a feeling that she wouldn't really try. He had to put it another way. "Look, you love me right?" She nodded emphatically. He went on, "Then only survive to make me happy. Don't think you need to do anything to atone for being alive."

"I can definitely do that." Erna smiled.

"See that you do." Levi turned back to his desk.

Erna thought that was the end of the conversation. She resolved that she would stop letting herself feel anxious about being idle if that was what Levi wanted. She got up to go back to her room.

When her hand reached the door handle Levi said, "Did I say you were dismissed?"

She turned around. "I thought you were done with me."

Levi opened a drawer of his desk and took out a riding crop. They were issued to every member of the Survey Corps with a horse, but the horses were so fast and well trained that no one ever used them… except maybe, Levi thought, for what he was about to use it for. "I'll tell you when I'm done with you."

Erna very nearly flew from the door to eagerly stand beside him. Levi moved his chair back from the desk and bent her over his lap, roughly pulling her pants down. White cotton panties again, he groaned inwardly. He set the crop down on the desk and grabbed a pen-knife, swiftly cutting them off with two neat slices.

"Hey! If you keep doing this I'm not going to have any underwear left," she complained.

Levi told her, "If they were nicer, I wouldn't destroy them. Have you ever heard of lace?"

Before she could answer, he picked up the riding crop and brought it down hard on her perfectly rounded ass. She hadn't expected he would hit so hard right away and she screamed half because of the pain and half because of the shock of it. He whipped her ass a couple more times and then paused for a few seconds. When he finally felt her muscles relax he gave her another hard smack with the crop and made her yelp. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I was waiting for you to stop expecting it. You make the best noises when you're surprised." That elicited a long moan from her and she bucked her hips against his lap. He turned his attention to her already wet pussy and barely brushed her clit with the end of the riding crop.

She moaned loudly enough that he was actually almost concerned someone passing by outside would be able to hear. He held the riding crop up to her mouth. "Hold this in your teeth. Don't drop it." She did as he said and he rewarded her by sliding a finger inside her. She gasped and almost dropped the riding crop, but she caught herself and clenched her jaw tighter. Levi entwined the fingers of his other hand in her hair and pulled her head up, making her arch her back. He slid his finger in and out of her in a slow rhythm. When she got impatient and started to squirm in his lap, trying to get him to go faster, he slid a second finger into her and pulled her hair tighter, warning her, "Hold still." She stopped moving, but through her clenched teeth she made a sound that was half pleasure and half frustration.

Levi pumped his fingers in and out of her, brushing her clit every few seconds. He stopped when she was shaking and seemed about to come. When she realized he was stopping she made a whining noise. With his hand still in her hair, he guided her down to kneel on the floor. He took the riding crop out of her mouth and replaced it with his fingers which she greedily licked clean. That set him off, he felt like he couldn't hold back anymore. He ripped her shirt open to be able to see her breasts rising and falling with her quick, short breaths. "Perfect," he said to himself. He didn't want to slow down to remove his 3DMG straps, so he only partially pulled his pants and briefs down to free his almost painfully hard cock.

Erna got that surprised look in her eyes that drove him crazy. He took his cock in his hand and tapped it on her partially open lips. "Open your mouth." He slid himself in between her lips into the wet warmth of her mouth and had to fight the urge to wrap his hands in her hair and roughly fuck her face; not that he ruled out that possibility for later, but this was all new to her and he didn't want to traumatize her just yet.

For a minute he let her figure it out for herself as she tried different things, sucking and licking and finding out what made him moan and what made him thrust his hips, but he had a limit to his patience. He put his hands in her hair and pushed himself into her mouth up to the base of his cock, feeling her throat muscles contract around him. She struggled, but he held her there for a second before he let her go and removed his cock so that she could gasp for air. He tapped her cheek with his cock while she caught her breath and told her, "You have to relax your throat and try to breathe through your nose."

Her response came between deep breaths, "Should have. Told me. That. First." When she could breathe sufficiently again she playfully licked the tip of his cock.

"Ready?" he asked. Her answer was to take his cock in her mouth again. He wrapped his fingers in her hair and pushed down her throat slowly this time. He held himself there while she tried to acclimate, but he was quickly running low on self-control. He drew himself back a little, letting her get a breath through her nose and then thrusting back in. He found a rhythm that worked for her and pushed his cock a little harder down her throat every time. He let himself finally stop holding back for her sake and he just concentrated on the way her tight little throat felt around the tip of his cock. In a minute he was cumming with his cock deep in her throat so that she had no choice but to swallow or choke. When she chose the first option without complaining, he withdrew his cock from her mouth and fell into his desk chair.

Erna crawled to him and nuzzled her head into his lap. He gently pulled one of her curls. "Lick it clean," he scolded her as if she obviously should have thought of that. She carefully licked any remaining cum from his cock, leaning back on her heels and admiring her work when she felt she was done. Levi stood up, fixed his clothes, and put the riding crop back in his desk drawer.

"Why do you have that in your desk anyway?" Erna asked as she pulled her pants back up and picked up her second pair of panties that Levi had now rendered useless and threw them into the waste basket next to the desk.

"For you, obviously. What a ridiculous question." Levi responded.

Erna stood up and started re-buttoning her shirt, thinking that Levi was about to dismiss her as usual. "So I can go back to work tomorrow?"

"Did I say that you could?"

Slowly the realization came over Erna's face. "… Wait. I thought you changed your mind!"

"Why would you assume such a stupid thing? When I give you an order I mean for it to be followed." Levi was enjoying her frustration.

"But…"

Levi stood closer and looked down at her, saying sternly, "No work. No touching yourself. Twenty-four more hours." He grabbed her wrist and dragged her behind him as he went over to the door to his apartment.

"What are you doing?" She protested.

"Making sure you follow orders." He pulled her through the apartment to his bedroom and closed the door. "Get undressed." She quickly did so, probably hoping he was going to do something to make her come, he thought. He had been teasing her pretty mercilessly the past couple of nights, but he didn't want to let her come yet. "Get into bed."

Erna sat herself on the fluffy comforter of his queen-size bed. Levi undressed, putting his clothes into a hamper instead of leaving them on the floor. Of course, Erna thought. This was the first time she saw him without any clothes on. He was more muscular than she thought, especially his back. He moved to the end of the bed and she felt nervous or excited or both, wondering what he was going to do. He grabbed the comforter and pulled it out from under her so she was now sitting on the sheets. He told her to lie down, then he got into bed next to her and pulled the comforter over both of them. "Wait… what is this?" Erna was confused.

"I'm going to sleep. You don't have to if you want to lie here awake all night." He closed his eyes. He turned her so that she was laying on her side with her back to him and he put an arm around her.

"Aren't you worried someone will see me leave in the morning?"

"Did I say you were allowed to leave in the morning?" He held her tight. "I changed my mind; you're not allowed to lie here awake all night. I can't sleep if you keep talking at me."

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**(A/N) Thank you if you've read this. I probably love you.**


	9. Provocation

**(A/N) Smut. Immediately.**  
**Later, Erna has sort of an emotional catharsis, which I don't like writing, but it felt like an inevitability and had to be gotten out of the way. I make up for it by ending the chapter with so much smut. Boo feelings. Yay sex.  
Also, I noticed this nifty button when I edit my documents that lets me add a horizontal line! What? That's how people do that! It was a revelation. Now I can separate scenes like I wanted.  
****Thank you for the follows and favorites since I posted the first 8 chapters. The support motivated me to work extra hard on this chapter, which is coming to you a little more slowly than my usual chapter per day because I could NOT get alone time. My significant other will be all "Do you want to cuddle?" and I am all "Could you leave? I'm trying to think about sex with Levi." It is hard to write smut with people around. You could try, but I don't recommend it.**

**Also, Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan or any of its characters. I do definitely own Erna Raban – she was born from my brain like Athena.**

* * *

Erna woke up before Levi. This would, for most people, be a trivial event of no significance, but for Erna it was fraught with difficulties. Should she wake him up? Should she carefully remove his arm from around her waist and get out of bed to retrieve her clothes and get breakfast? She didn't want to do the wrong thing. She supposed she could just lie there and wait, but that was the most difficult of any of the options she could think of. Erna never lay awake in bed. Beds were for sleeping. If you woke up then you were supposed to get out of bed as had been her habit for most of her entire life. So she decided to try to go back to sleep. She closed her eyes and slowed her breathing for one minute… maybe two… It was impossible. Early morning birds were chirping outside and faint sunlight was filtering through the windows. _How does this "sleeping in" thing that people speak of work?_ she thought to herself.

Erna stretched and fidgeted, only half-waking Levi up. He pulled her closer, encompassing her in both of his arms and holding her tightly. He had an insistent morning erection that he unconsciously rubbed against her smooth thighs. Automatically his one hand slid down from her waist to part her legs and tease her clit while his other lightly pinched one of her perfectly round nipples and then the other. Lazily, he left her clit to play with her pink little lips until his fingers were drenched in her wetness which he then placed in her mouth letting her lick and suck them clean while he began rubbing her clit again with his other hand. It was too easy to make her moan and writhe against him. He brought her up to the edge of an orgasm and stopped, rolling over and getting out of bed.

"Nooooooo," she whined, "Why won't you ever let me come?"

He walked around the foot of the bed, heading past her towards the washroom to take his morning bath, reassuring her, "I will eventually." He turned, expecting to see her expression of utter frustration, but she was now distracted by his hard cock and staring at it intently, almost drooling. He changed course and went back to kneel on the bed, holding his cock in front of her lips. "You want this?" he asked. Instead of answering, she simply opened her pretty little mouth. He tapped his head on the tip of her tongue a few times and then got up, heading to the washroom again, telling her, "No time. I have to work today, unlike you."

Erna made a loud groan of sexual frustration and punched a pillow behind her. "How can you have so much self-control!?"

"How can you not? You're supposed to be this crazy-disciplined little super soldier." He gave her an evil smile and closed the door to the washroom behind him.

"You do horrible things to me," she said, but not loudly enough that he would hear her behind the door where she was sure he was jerking off. She bit her lip and moved her hand down to rub her clit, thinking it would only take 5 seconds or fewer to come. Almost instantly her body felt warm and her breathing became short. She felt her mind start to go blank, but was snapped back to reality by Levi's voice from the other side of the door, "Stop touching yourself." She screamed in frustration and threw a pillow at the door.

Twenty minutes later, Levi came out holding a towel around his waist. Erna was lying on the bed, hands behind her head, brow furrowed in seemingly deep thought. She didn't turn to look at him. He began getting dressed and said, "I can see your brain working. What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing… Counting… Trying not to have sexy thoughts. I'm up to two thousand one hundred and fifty-eight." She sat up. "Can I go yet?"

"Definitely not."

Erna had a mental list of things she wanted to get done with her final day off, but she didn't mind staying and watching him get dressed. Somehow, against all reason, it was sexier than watching him get undressed. She watched with genuine fascination as he tied his cravat. He made buttoning up a shirt look graceful.

When Levi finished with the 3DMG harness and pulled on his boots, he told her to lie down on her back. Erna quickly flattened herself on the bed, looking excited to do so. He thought it was cute and pretty naive how she still kept wrongly assuming that he was going to do something she would like. He took two cravats from the dresser and moved over to the bed, quickly tying each of her wrists to the headboard. "Since you have so much trouble following the simple order to do nothing and I can't supervise you all day…" There was that surprised look again that he loved so much. He stood back and enjoyed the sight of her naked and tied up, almost wishing he planned to stay.

Erna gave one of the ties a little tug, testing it out, and decided, "I can easily get out of this, you know."

"I know." He raised an eyebrow and asked her, "What do you think will happen if you do?"

She relaxed her arms and sighed, "You'll be very upset with me and do things that I won't enjoy."

"Bingo." He buttoned the cuffs of his shirt and reached for his brown leather jacket. "So just relax." He made it a point to not tell her when or even if he would come back as he left and closed the door.

* * *

_Some time later._

"Ninety-nine… One hundred… One hundred and one…" Erna counted out loud as she brought her knees up to her chin with each reverse crunch. She had played briefly with the idea of untying herself, walking around, doing some push-ups, snooping through drawers, and somehow tying herself back to the bed before Levi came back… but he would know. Somehow he knew everything. So she decided to do whatever exercise she could while lying on her back. Leg raises and reverse crunches were all she could come up with. _He just said to relax_, she rationalized, _this just happens to be how I relax._ "One hundred and two… One hundred and three…"

* * *

Levi oversaw his squad's training from a distance, standing under one of the stone archways separating the castle from the courtyard and sipping his tea. Most squad leaders tended to need to supervise their squads closely, staying on top of new recruits and keeping them disciplined. But Levi could trust his squad to stay on task for the most part. He only came down from his office randomly to scare them and keep them from getting too relaxed and slacking off.

He heard heavy boots behind him. _Erwin._

Commander Erwin stopped and stood next to Levi, watching the squad along with him for a few seconds, before asking, "Have you seen Raban today?"

Levi didn't turn to look at Erwin, but kept his gaze fixed on the courtyard. "Why?"

"She came to me seeming troubled yesterday. I was hoping I could have another talk with her, make sure she's doing better. I can't give you details yet, but we may be planning a mission that we'll need you and your squad for."

Levi said in a completely deadpan tone, "She's tied to my bed."

"Ha!" Erwin let out a hearty laugh and slapped Levi on the back thinking he was making a joke. Then he looked down at his face and saw he was completely serious. It was disconcerting. Erwin knew people had needs, but he didn't like to be reminded that his soldiers had feelings or anything that was out of his control. "Levi…"

Before Erwin could begin an asinine lecture, Levi held up his hand to stop him. "There aren't any rules about relationships between Survey Corps members." This was true only because there didn't need to be any rules. Their casualty rate was so high that relationships rarely lasted. The odds were against both members of a couple surviving more than a year. Knowing that they faced death on a regular basis, most soldiers found it difficult to muster enthusiasm for long-term relationships, opting instead for casual sex which was not discouraged as a morale booster. The old adage: "Sex and death. They're different, but the same."

"I know, but damnit, listen to me," he was raising his voice. He caught himself, took a breath and said more quietly, "Look… If you both can continue to be professional and keep your emotions, which frankly I'm surprised to find out either of you even have, out of your work, then I can't object to anything you do. But there are practical considerations. What will it do to the morale of your squad if you treat her differently?"

Levi took a sip from his tea, still not turning his eyes from the courtyard to Erwin. Levi wanted to say something shocking to get him to shut up and nothing was more shocking than the truth. "On a good night, I make her run laps around the castle until every muscle in her body aches, then I inflict pain and humiliation on her in variously cruel ways, bring her to the edge of orgasm and leave her in maddening sexual frustration." He took another sip. "I don't think anyone's going to complain about 'special treatment.'" He didn't need to look to know Erwin's jaw had dropped. "Close your mouth before a bug flies into it."

Erwin did erase the shock from his face and finally replied, "As long as you know what you're doing…" Erwin kept everything compartmentalized. As Commander of the Survey Corps, the whole thing was still worrying to him. But as Levi's friend, he guessed he felt happy for him. "You sadistic bastard," Erwin smiled and lightly elbowed the shorter man.

* * *

_Elsewhere._

Erna tried to figure out what time it was from the way the sunlight made shadows on the walls. _Three o'clock, maybe?_ She turned her eyes to the posts of Levi's wooden bed frame. They almost reached the ceiling and were intricately carved with beautiful vines and flowers. Normally detailed woodwork like that would show dust in every difficult to clean crevice, but this was perfectly polished and still looked brand new. She wondered if he dusted everything every day. She wondered how long that took. She wondered again what time it was.

She began to think about unpleasant things, which was why she tried to always stay busy. Not being busy gave her time for her mind to wander. She thought about how many people she watched die thus far, thinking there would be more in the future. She thought about watching the slaughter of her family, about how that was the last time she felt things before meeting Levi. When she let herself think about it she knew Levi was entirely right about why she always wanted to work herself to death. In the years between her family's death and the Trainee Corps, she lived in a haze of numb emotional shock. The only thing she ever felt was a hint of guilt in the back of her mind that she had been the cause of the brutal murder of the only people who loved her. She hadn't felt the will to live, but also didn't feel strongly enough about dying to kill herself by any more immediate method than starvation or exposure. It was a self-perpetuating cycle: She felt only emptiness and guilt, which led her to keep herself on the edge of death, which left her too exhausted and broken to feel anything but emptiness and guilt. The dynamic changed when she joined the Trainee Corps, but in essence everything was the same. Having not grown up with the instinct for self-preservation she could work harder and push herself more in training because she was well-practiced in not caring about what happened to her body. The guilt in the back of her mind, the idea that she didn't deserve to live, didn't go away but ironically became the reason to live. The skills she had honed by punishing herself in training could be used to help other, more deserving people to live, so she had to live and help humanity as atonement for her undeserved life.

These were all things she never really thought about because she never really gave herself time to think. In the Survey Corps there was always something to do or some way to distract yourself, especially if you were determined to be distracted. Now, she thought, it all seemed very silly – punishing herself constantly for feeling numb and guilty about her family. Now that she remembered what it was really like to love someone, she thought that they would have wanted her to be happy. She wiped a tear away with the white cravat tied around one of her wrists and knew that this was exactly what Levi wanted her to get out of this little exercise in mandatory free time. _The bastard._ She smiled.

* * *

_Hours later._

Erna heard the apartment door open and shut. By now it was starting to get dark, _so probably seven o'clock_, she guessed. She heard Levi take off his boots. _Partial sensory deprivation makes your hearing really sharp_. She listened to him walk around. Then the sound of footsteps stopped. She waited… and waited… Then she shouted, "So were you going to untie me or…?"

Levi opened the door to the bedroom and stood there. "I hadn't really thought about it. Would you like to be untied?" His voice was expressionless, but she knew he was teasing her.

"If you wouldn't mind," she said sarcastically.

He stayed in the door frame a little longer, just enjoying looking at her naked in the waning sunlight. She looked soft and delicate with her smooth skin and slender wrists and ankles. The pink little nipples of her perfect breasts were standing at attention from a slight chill. He liked keeping her vulnerable like this, or at least, enjoyed the illusion of her vulnerability. Realistically, he knew that if she wanted to free herself and get away from him she easily could. That fact made having this absolute power he had over her that much more satisfying. When he felt he had enough of just looking, he sighed "Fine," as if she were really inconveniencing him and he moved to the bed to untie her. "There's food out there for you, but if you get any crumbs anywhere I'm making you eat all your meals off the floor from now on."

* * *

Erna had forgotten how hungry she was until she heard the mention of food. She ate kneeling in front of the coffee table, trying to stuff her face quickly but also not let even a speck of food fall to the floor or the table. Levi sat on the couch, intently reading something. Erna licked the plate clean, checked that every surface around her was still immaculate, and then pointed to what Levi was reading, asking "What's that?"

Levi flipped a page and waited a second before answering her, "Research proposal… drafted by Hange… We'll be assigned to help her if Erwin approves it." He glared over the papers at her, "Don't look so excited."

Erna beamed and clapped her hands, "Work! Real work!"

Levi gave her an annoyed sigh, "The way you act, you would think this stuff isn't dangerous." He set the page down on the coffee table and made a note in the margins.

She leaned over as if she were curiously examining his work, "Are you done?"

Levi sighed and leaned back. "No, but maybe I could use a break. I didn't get to just lie in bed all day."

Erna crossed her arms. "That's not my fault. I would have been glad to have you join me."

"You say that now, but you don't know what I would have done to you."

Erna loved when he sounded all dark and threatening. "Good or bad, it's all the same. I like everything you do to me," she pointed out cheerfully.

"Then you'll like that I'm going to ignore you while I finish this," he picked up the research proposal from the table again.

"… I do not like that." Erna crossed her arms and pouted, but otherwise waited patiently.

...

* * *

Levi lay perfectly still while Erna straddled him. She pressed her fingertips lightly against his chest to keep herself balanced as she held herself over him. Very slowly she rocked her hips to rub herself up and down the length of his cock. She reached back and held him at his base and positioned him in line with her opening and proceeded to very slowly lower herself down just barely onto the tip and stop, holding herself there. She had been doing this for ten minutes now. Levi looked very annoyed and she thought she could start to understand why he seemed to enjoy teasing her so much. It was really fun.

"Don't think I'm not going to make you regret this." Levi sounded unamused.

"You very clearly said that I could take as long as I wanted and you wouldn't do anything to rush me or force me," she reminded him in a mocking tone. She wanted to see if she could get him to lose his temper. It happened incredibly rarely – really only once that she had seen – and she knew that she probably couldn't provoke him that far, but the idea of him losing control of his anger excited her, so she had to at least try.

"I didn't want to hurt you," Levi had thought it would be better to let her go at her own pace her first time… and he was wrong, "Now I do." She kept teasing him by bearing down just hard enough on his cock to let him barely inside, not pushing past the cervix, still maintaining her virginity and driving him up the fucking wall.

"That's what I wanted. I like it better when you do want to hurt me." She wanted to see that rare flash of anger in his eyes so badly. It was the only thing other than killing titans that could give her an adrenaline rush. Levi put his hands around her waist and she started to protest, "Hey, you said you wouldn't –"

Levi interrupted her with, "I'm not," as he pulled her forward and down to lightly bite her nipples and flick them with his tongue. When she relaxed he released his grip on her waist. He took his cock in his hand and rubbed his head up and down her wet slit. She breathed into his neck and whimpered and moaned incoherently. He pulled her close to whisper in her ear, "You're an evil little succubus," as he moved his hand down her writhing body and stopped at her clit. He just brushed the sensitive little area with his finger and she shuddered.

He stopped rubbing his cock against her and he grabbed her hair. He pulled her head up to look at him and told her very seriously, "I'm not going to rush you or force you, but I am going to make you beg me to fuck you." He rubbed her clit faster and let go of her hair. She was moaning loudly now, but he wanted her to scream. He reached back and smacked her ass hard, making her sit up sharply and let out a little yelp. He smacked her ass again and again, never letting up off of her clit. He asked her, "Who do you belong to?" She moaned something incoherent, so he smacked her ass again, "Tell me." Her eyes opened and focused on his.

She answered him clearly this time, "I - I belong to you."

He stopped rubbing her clit and took his cock in his hand, rubbing it against her and getting it lubricated. "And are you going to try to tease me anymore?"

Erna struggled with that answer. She wished she were able to tease him, but she wasn't in control anymore and her head was foggy. Now trying to tease would be equally… or probably more torturous for her than for him. Everything he was doing to her made her feel like it wasn't enough, like she wanted more and needed him inside her. Erna bit her lip and shook her head which earned her another smack of her ass which was starting to sting.

Shaking her head wasn't enough, Levi said, "Tell me."

The pain made her feel hot all over. She moaned, "I'm not going to try to tease you anymore. I want you." She moved her hips to try to rub herself harder against his cock, but he tilted it away from her.

"How do you want me?" he asked. Now he was torturing her.

She half-moaned, half-whined, "I want you inside me." He pressed his head against her opening and then withdrew, it was the exact same motion she had been trying to tease him with earlier and he was right – he was making her regret that.

"Are you sure?" he was mocking her.

She knew what he wanted. "Yes. Please? Please fuck me."

"I'm not entirely convinced," he held the base of his cock for her, "Show me how badly you want it."

She didn't care that he was humiliating her, she was glad to finally have a chance to take his cock. She leaned back and pressed herself down, but stopped again, not because she wanted to tease him, but because it was just harder than she imagined. She was so tight, even though she was really wet, and there was so much resistance it was hard to push past that point. "I can't," she looked at him pleadingly, worried that now he would torture her more.

Levi sighed as though she was making him feel very put upon, "You want me to?"

Erna bit her lip and nodded, "Please, please, please. Don't make me beg."

"You already are," he gave her an evil little smile. He pulled her down and held her tight against him. As he positioned himself, he whispered in her ear, "You'll like this, it's going to hurt." In one quick thrust he broke through her walls and buried himself inside her. She screamed in pain and clamped her teeth onto his muscular shoulder to muffle her cries, but he didn't move. Her natural instinct was to try to pull herself back up and off of him, but he held her there and reassured her, "Just wait."

It felt so good and so painful at the same time, but it was like ripping off a bandage, the pain only lingered for a few seconds. She released his shoulder and carefully rocked her hips back, pushing him a little deeper inside and was surprised at how such a small movement could produce such a huge feeling. She felt like she had always been physically and emotionally empty until now and she would never be able to get him deep enough inside of her.

He released his tight grip on her and folded his hands behind his head telling her, "Sit up." Erna obediently pressed her fingers against his chest and straightened up her torso. The way he just stared at her, not touching her, like he was observing a wild creature and was curious about what it was going to do, made her feel shy for the first time. "I'm not going to rush or force you, remember? Do whatever you want." He lay still and even though she was on top of him, it felt like he had all the power. She slid herself up his shaft, but not liking the empty feeling that brought, she quickly pushed down again, trying to force herself all the way down to his base but she felt too much resistance and inner pressure. She leaned a little forward, arching her back and angling herself to ride him more easily, gliding a little more than halfway down his cock and raising herself again in a rhythm that kept getting more rapid.

She stopped thinking so much about what she was doing as her body took over control making her just do what would feel good. She tried to impale herself harder, get him deeper inside her, aching with need for more. She rocked herself forward and leaned on him, gyrating and trying to rub her clit against his pelvic bone, moving her hips in small circles.

Levi removed his hands from behind his head, pushing her by her shoulders. "Get back up there," he made her sit up straight on his cock again, "I like to be able to see you." His interruption made her pause, so he bucked his hips up, pushing quickly deep inside her and giving her a jolt. She gave a little shout almost falling forward, but she pushed back against him, regained her balance, and began riding him again, keeping her back straight now so that he could watch her.

Levi put his hands behind his head again, looking amused like he was enjoying the show. Somehow the way he watched her made her feel vulnerable on a visceral level, like she was cornered prey that he was toying with. She closed her eyes, but he ordered her, "Keep your eyes open." When she did, he continued, telling her "Play with your tits." For a moment she hesitated, but quickly followed his instruction, because it sounded like a really good idea. When she lifted her hands to tease and pinch her nipples for him, he rewarded her, licking the tip of his thumb and rubbing it in slow circles over her clit as she slid up and down his cock. She quickly started to completely lose herself again, feeling her climax begin to roll in like a wave, he distracted her with his stern tone again, "Don't you dare come yet."

Erna whimpered, not knowing how that was possible, and she whined at him, "I can't stop it if you keep doing that." He took his thumb off of her clit, and grabbed her ass, roughly pulling her down and pushing himself up into her to the hilt, making her scream and fall forward onto him.

He teased her, "Tch, no self-control." He brought one hand up to press her down against him and held her ass tightly, making sure to keep his cock deep inside her as he sat up and flipped her over so that he was on top.

"Hey!" she made a half-hearted attempt to protest, "I'm supposed to be on top."

He pushed her legs further apart and, brutally slamming his cock as deep inside her as it could get, he warned her, "I've never been very patient. Feel lucky that I let you be up there that long."

She let out a long moan, feeling him deeper than she thought was possible, "Hai, Captain Levi!" He leaned over her, sucking on one of her hardened nipples and then the other as he thrust in and out of her at a much more punishing pace and depth than she had gotten herself used to. She alternated moaning with screaming with every jolt pushing her past her comfort zone, filling her up so deeply with every deliberate stroke that it hurt, but she didn't want it to ever stop.

_Just keep going_, she thought, _Please don't stop._ He drew himself up, watching her tits jiggle every time he pounded his hips against her. He felt her walls start to tighten around him and he pulled almost all the way out of her, leaving her with just the head of his cock inside, holding himself there. She immediately started whining in frustration and she reached for his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his waist, trying to pull him back in. It was hard to hold himself there – her legs were ridiculously strong – but he grabbed her wrists and pushed her back down, crossing her arms over her stomach and holding her still, reminding her that he was in charge. "Do you want more?" he teased her.

She hated having to concentrate on making herself coherent in between moans in order to beg him, "Please… Please fuck me, I'm so close…"

He let go of her arms and leaned over her again. "You want me to let you come?"

"Please!" she shouted in torment.

"Are you ever going to try to tease me again?"

"No! Please just fuck me! Please let me come!" She would say anything to have him back deep inside her.

"Good girl." He grabbed her thighs and pulled her into him while thrusting his hips forward. Her back arched and she felt her pussy throbbing as he began fucking her the way he wanted, drawing out only to quickly fill her up completely again and again. He reached down and watched her close her eyes and bite her lip as he played with her clit. He could feel her tense and go rigid around him, so he told her, "You can come now."

Almost immediately, she felt that hot, tingly feeling all over and her pussy clenched and released in spasms, as her climax washed over her. When it finally ended, she felt completely relaxed and drowsy, her pussy throbbing. Now she felt she could just enjoy the way his cock felt inside her without the sense of frustrated urgency, but her spasms had pushed Levi over the edge. He pulled out and pointed his cock at her stomach, shooting his hot cum all over her, hanging there a moment, and collapsing beside her.

Erna basked in the afterglow while he caught his breath. She felt heavy like she would never be able to move again, so she had no objections when Levi got up and said, "Don't move."

She closed her eyes and almost drifted off to sleep, until he came back with a damp washcloth, simply saying, "Here." She was disappointed that she would have to move now. He sat on the bed as she cleaned off her stomach and thought out loud, "Somehow I assumed you would opt for a more tidy way of coming."

He replied, "Somehow, I'm not thinking about being clean when I'm about to come. Next time I'll try to remember to make you swallow it instead."

She finished and held up the soiled cloth asking, "What do I do with this?"

"Toss it there." He pointed to a laundry basket next to the dresser. She successfully arced the balled-up cloth into the basket, relieved that she wouldn't have to find out what he would have done if she had missed. She lay on her back again and closed her eyes, half asleep already she dreamily said, "You know… you've never kissed me."

He looked at her. "You've never looked like you want to be kissed."

"What do I look like?"

"Like you want me to break you..."

"I suppose that's right," she said lazily and started to drift off to sleep, but then she felt Levi's hand on her cheek, gently turning her face towards him. She felt his lips press against hers softly and sweetly before parting her lips with his tongue, exploring her mouth a little, then withdrawing his tongue and lightly sucking on her lower lip, giving it a nip with his teeth. The kiss was over and she opened her eyes, staring at him in surprise. He looked pretty satisfied with himself, so she tried to look unimpressed and yawned, "Yeah, I can see how you would think I wouldn't like that. So gentle. You're not going to keep being nice like that, are you? It's gross."

She turned onto her side facing away from him and smiled to herself until she felt him slap her ass hard and she yelped. He lay down behind her and pulled her into him, giving her neck a bite. "Don't worry. You make it easy to not be nice."

* * *

**(A/N) **

**Thank you for reading. I will update quickly and often. I probably love you.**


	10. Chivalry

**(A/N) This information will be relevant to you very soon: Most people confuse the definitions of "candle" and "candlestick," thinking that they are the same thing. A candle is a candle. A candlestick is the candle-holder, named for the cup or spike that you "stick" the candle in. That is all.**

**Attack on Titan and its characters do not belong to me. Erna Raban does belong to me. Everyone should belong to someone. I'd like to belong to a muscular-but-not-too-muscular Korean man with a motorcycle and awesome hair.**

* * *

Erna was sitting on Levi's desk, naked again, while he stood in front of her fully clothed. She didn't mind; maybe even liked the disparity, the fact that he was even symbolically more powerful and less vulnerable than her. He grabbed her around her waist, pressing his fingers into her roughly, lowering his head to suck on one of her breasts and occasionally biting her to elicit one of her short screams. She wrapped her legs around him, trying to pull him in closer and grind her hips against his, but that only made him stop what he was doing and push her shoulders back, making her put her palms on the desk behind her. He pushed her until her torso was slightly angled away from him, leaning back on her hands, shoulders back and spine arched. He let her keep her legs around him, but he reached behind her on the desk and picked up a candlestick holding a burning white candle. He held it in front of her, letting her watch the wide tip of it pool with clear liquid wax. He told her, "You'll like this, it's going to hurt," her new favorite promise, and he tipped his hand, creating a burning river of pain on her skin. The candle wax dripped down in a line right between her breasts, pooling at her belly button. Her body arched and her thighs tightened around him with the pain of the heat, but she moaned. Her body interpreted the pain as intense pleasure and she was flooded with endorphins, feeling her ego drift away, she entered a state of thoughtlessness that always preceded her climax. But then Levi shook her. Through the fog of ecstasy she heard him tell her to get up. She fought to ignore him and immerse herself in the feeling just until she could get back to that state of thoughtlessness and release, but it was too late. She was awake.

"Nooooo. Why?" Erna tried to pull the covers over her head, but Levi grabbed her wrists, holding them tightly, almost constricting her blood flow, and stopped her. She opened her eyes to look at his face over hers; it was close and giving her a very serious look.

"You have to go back to your own bed."

She looked at the window. "It isn't even light yet. Why can't I just stay here? I want to go back to sleep."

He smirked. She was being particularly whiny and he had an idea as to why that was. "Were you dreaming?"

"No!" She said indignantly. His lips formed a slight, but knowing smile and it was infuriating. "Maybe I was dreaming about not being woken up before dawn and kicked out of bed!"

He let go of her wrists. "You were moaning in your sleep."

She wanted to smother him with a pillow. Instead, she kicked her feet out of bed and stood up, stretching her arms and asking, "What am I supposed to do back in my room?"

Levi watched her stretch, ran his eyes over her smooth skin, her perfectly toned round ass, her delicate waist. He imagined roughly grabbing her by her silky black curls and forcing his cock past her pouty lips, cutting off her air and making her gag on it. But… "Work and play need to stay separate. Go do whatever you normally do before work, I don't care."

She went to start putting her clothes on, but couldn't find her underwear. As she searched she informed him, "I _normally_ only wake up ten to fifteen minutes before breakfast. It can't even be six yet."

"It's quarter 'til," he told her as he closed his eyes and put his head back on the pillow. "Are you looking for those awful white cotton panties? I destroyed them."

She stamped her foot in frustration. "Stop doing that! I'm not going to have any underwear left!"

He opened one eye and watched her getting dressed sans underwear. "I'm going to keep destroying them until you get new underwear. I can't stand them, they make you look pre-pubescent with your stupidly cute doll-face. Makes me feel like a creepy old man."

She had her pants on and now she was hopping on one foot, struggling with a boot. "That's just your problem. How am I supposed to get underwear that you approve of? Want me to go to the store?"

Watching her perky little tits bounce as she pulled her boots on was making him hard. He decided to close his eyes until she left or else he felt he was going to pull her back into bed and need to go through this all again later. "I'm sure you'll figure something out when you're finally out of underwear." He listened as she muttered some curse words to herself and slammed the bedroom door but tiptoed quietly out the door to the corridor, not wanting to attract the attention of anyone who might actually be awake at this hour. He rolled onto his back and imagined how he would punish her later for slamming the door as he stroked his shaft, tightening his grip up around the head of his cock, swirling his thumb over the tip, and stroking back down, repeating that motion again and faster while he thought about her perfect pink lips and how they would look wrapped around his cock as he choked her.

* * *

When Erna walked into the dining hall – coffee mug in hand – Sasha screamed, "Ernaaaa! I thought you were dead!" She waited for Erna to sit down before wrapping her in a hug and ruffling her hair, teasing her, "I'm so glad you're okay!"

Erna slapped her hands away and said, "If you keep treating me like a kid sister, I'm going to kill you," in the most serious voice she could.

"Aww, you're your usual cranky self, further proof that you are okay." Sasha went to pinch her cheek, but Erna grabbed her hand and slammed it down on the table.

Mikasa's eyes smiled as Sasha winced and drew her hand away, trying to shake the pain out of it. She addressed Erna calmly, "Sasha is teasing you, but we were a little worried. You weren't at dinner two nights ago and we couldn't find you at all yesterday."

Connie chimed in, "I told them you snapped and went out on your own to kill titans."

Erna acted unmoved by their concern, "I'm perfectly fine." She sipped at her coffee. "Tch. Really. I miss when you guys were more afraid of me."

Sasha stopped blowing on her fingers to say, "Nah, we know you too well now. You wouldn't hurt a fly and you're fun to pick on, especially ever since Mikasa cut your hair. You look so cute when you're annoyed. You're going to be the elite squad's little sister forever."

Erna's head hit the table. She grumbled something about slitting all of their throats in their sleep. Krista put a reassuring hand on her back, telling her, "Don't worry, we're going to get new recruits today, so maybe they'll be distracted from teasing you for a while."

Sasha got excited, "And new supplies! Which means more food!"

Connie high-fived her, "And more booze!"

"And obnoxious rookies," Jean groaned.

"Not as obnoxious as you," Eren replied, unable to not take a chance to insult Jean.

"Is it really that bad?" Erna wondered. She had not yet lived through the horror of being at headquarters when new recruits came in.

Jean explained, "It didn't used to be. The year we joined the Survey Corps we were pretty much the only recruits," and he sounded kind of proud. "We get more and more every year that titans don't break inside the walls and they get more and more obnoxious."

Erna remembered that when she had first arrived at the older Survey Corps headquarters, her peers had been a little rowdy. But they were excited, who wouldn't be? Most of them were dead by now. She winced at the thought, but shook it off and told them, "I am not drinking with you again."

"That is non-negotiable. Drinking is a team-building exercise." Connie told her with mock seriousness and made a stiff salute. "Besides, it's going to be rowdy and loud. You'll be awake all night unless you drink yourself to sleep."

Levi came in and interrupted them, "Oi, brats. Hange and I are going with Erwin. Don't slack off."

"Why do we have to stay here? We're the elite squad, we should be going with you guys, inspiring trainees to join the Survey Corps." Jean said this, even though he found trainees annoying, it was a rare chance to go inside the city.

Levi turned and looked at Sasha who was very busy stuffing a roll in her face, "I don't know that they would find you very inspiring. Better to keep you out of sight until it's too late for them to back out."

* * *

Everyone basically slacked off for the days that Erwin, Levi, and Hange were gone. After breakfast, everyone went off and did their own thing, but some of the things could be considered work and they felt that was good enough. Erna spent most of the day with her horse, going for quick gallops around headquarters, trying to teach her to go down on her knees on command, mostly getting kicked at and/or kicked. When she felt like she'd done enough to justify some relaxation, she walked back inside, sore and dirty, which she didn't dislike. "Pain is just another reminder that you're alive," she sighed contentedly to herself. She turned the corner to get her things from her room to take a bath, but was stopped by Eren's presence in front of her door. _Sigh._

She walked up as if she didn't even see him and reached past him for her door handle as he began to say, "Hey, um…"

Erna opened the door, motioning for him to come in if he wanted. Eren seemed a little anxious to come in and she followed, shutting the door behind them and saying, "Don't think anything of this; I just don't want anyone to overhear what I think you're going to talk about."

"So you do remember that night we got drunk," he stated more than asked. She nodded in the affirmative. She was being especially closed off because she couldn't predict what he was going to say, but whatever it was she dreaded it. She thought, _best case scenario, he just wants to acknowledge that it was strange. Worst case scenario, he wants to talk about feelings. _She disliked when people tried to talk about feelings that she could not sympathize with. He went on, "I just don't want things to be awkward. We haven't really had a chance to talk about it."

Erna moved past him to sit on her bed. "I think it's more awkward to talk about it," she said flatly. When she looked to his face, he looked like he was slightly confused by how she could be so cold. She figured maybe this would go faster if she could manage to not be so off-putting, so she went on in a more amiable tone. "Look, I just don't think it means anything. We were all drunk. There's not much else to talk about. I didn't feel used or taken advantage of or anything if that's what you feel awkward about."

"That's good." He seemed relieved, like he could breathe now.

"Do you?" she asked. He looked like he didn't understand the question, so she clarified, "Feel used or taken advantage of?"

For a second he still looked confused as if what she just asked him made no sense. Then he laughed. He put a hand on the back of his head and smiled, "Hell no!"

"You don't have a crush on me or anything, right? Because that would be awkward."

He said, "Oh god no," so quickly and so adamantly that she felt a little insulted, which probably showed on her face because he followed it up with, "I mean, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it… like a lot. But I can keep that stuff and feelings separate. And you're not really my type."

She didn't know if she asked out of an actual feeling of curiosity or because she wanted to make him squirm for making her go through this awkwardness. Probably a little of both. "What _is_ your type?"

"I'm not that picky. Just about anyone who isn't with a man who could kill me ten different ways with one finger," he was half-joking.

"That's fair." Erna smiled. She decided he wasn't as dumb as he sometimes seemed if he could manage to answer that question without actually insulting her.

"Besides, Sasha was right, you're like our little sister now. I feel protective of you more than anything else. I guess that's why I wanted to make sure it was all okay."

"I –," she started in, but he interrupted her before she could say it. "I know, I know, you don't need protecting. That doesn't have anything to do with it."

She crossed her arms and said, "That's illogical and insulting to my capabilities."

"Yeah, yeah, we all know you're tough, even though we act like we don't." Eren searched for the right words. How did you describe friendship to someone for whom the concept was foreign? "It's just, you know, we'd all hate for anything to happen to you. That's why I wanted to talk to you even though I knew this would be the most awkward conversation ever."

Erna changed the subject, because it _was_ awkward. "You told Mikasa."

"Only that I saw you and Levi together. She got it out of me. She knew anyway, she just didn't have any hard evidence." Eren looked at the floor, a little ashamed that Mikasa was able to get the information out of him. The damn girl knew how to play him like a fiddle. "I didn't give her any details," but, he thought, that was mostly because she hadn't tried to make him give her any details. She was content with, and damn smug and self-satisfied about, being right.

"So now we can act like perfectly normal friends?" Erna said this to end the conversation more than anything else. She didn't really think she would ever act like anyone's friend. She was warm with her squad, but friendship still didn't make sense to her practical side.

"Well except for the perfectly normal part. None of us will ever be normal," he joked.

* * *

The next evening, Erna sat with her squad at their usual table, which they had reclaimed from some trainees who didn't know any better. The dining hall was an utter disaster. It was crowded, it was loud. The din was occasionally punctuated by the sound of someone falling out of their chair. There were a lot of bold statements made out of bravado about being badass and joining the Survey Corps. There were a lot of people trying to get drunken hook-ups off the ground and running. Older members either shook their heads and tried to ignore it or told the new kids to shut the fuck up. Erna's other squad members mostly took the latter route. Erna was decidedly not annoyed by the new recruits because for one, it wasn't worth the energy to her, and two, she knew that most of them would die on their first expedition anyway and as annoying as they were she couldn't feel angry at them. Even though she was getting over her guilt, she would always be more conscious than most about the mortality of other people.

Sasha had already finished a full glass of wine in less than two minutes and began refilling from their only bottle, but Jean reached across the table and grabbed it from her, shouting over the noise, "Sasha, we need to ration this!" He was kind of right, there wasn't nearly as much booze as last time… or actually, it only seemed that way because it was distributed among a lot more people. "Goddamn rookies," Jean mumbled. "There's barely enough here for a buzz."

"Here," Mikasa handed Jean her glass, "In the interest of rationing, only give me enough so that I'll be able to fall asleep despite all this." Jean filled her glass a third of the way and she took it back, opting not to drink it yet, but holding onto it for when she would need it, like a sleeping pill.

Jean went on scowling until he felt someone bump into his chair hard, making him spill his wine and almost knocking him over. He lost it and got to his feet to physically or verbally thrash someone, but he turned around to see a curvy, bubbly brunette girl. She winked at him and laughed, "Hey cutie." She ran her hands over his chest she asked, "Want to get out of here?" His jaw dropped. Eren and Connie teased him, "Yeah Jean, go ahead," because they knew and he knew that it was an unspoken rule that older members didn't fuck with new recruits especially before they were battle-tested. It was seen as probably the sleaziest, most shameful thing you could do. So it just didn't happen. Even if someone wanted to, the endless teasing they could expect from their teammates was a good enough deterrent for any libido. So Jean didn't answer the girl, instead turning around again, sitting down, and fuming. She shrugged and walked off to try and seduce someone else. Connie and Eren made kissy faces at Jean who slammed his fists down on the table and shouted, "Goddamn rookies!"

"They're really not as bad as you guys said. You really need to relax." Erna sipped her wine; she worried that if she didn't, Sasha would get a funnel from the kitchen and opt for a more direct way than constant nagging to try to force her to drink with them. Just as she finished saying this, a sweet-faced, broad shouldered recruit with dark hair and blue eyes tapped Krista on the shoulder. Her eyes widened in innocent surprise as she turned around in her chair. He got down on one knee, gently taking one of her hands in his and said, "I'm sorry to bother you, I just have a question." He only paused for a moment, and then continued, "Did it hurt?" sounding oh so sincere.

"Oh my god, Krista, don't say a word." Eren rolled his eyes.

Krista didn't take his advice. "Did what hurt?"

"When you fell from heaven." The guy barely got to finish the sentence as Mikasa twisted his arm behind his back, pulling him to his feet, and sending him stumbling away with her boot to his back.

"I think I am literally going to be sick." Erna was not exaggerating much. "But still, they're pretty harmless," as she said it, they all heard shouting and a chair being thrown somewhere across the room and the table looked at her as if they dared her to say it again. "Okay… so I can see why none of the squad leaders wanted to drink with us… but we should try to… make the best of it?"

Connie started to agree with her, ever-positive, "Yeah guys, Erna has a point, they're just young, dumb kids." Then a guy in a trainee corps jacket put a hand on Sasha's shoulder and said, "Hey baby -," but that was all he got out before Connie - so fast that no one could have even seen his face change from calm to rage - stood up, swung around, and punched him hard enough in the jaw to send him flying. Connie sat down again as if nothing happened. There was a beat of shocked silence at the table. Then Sasha leaned over, pulling Connie into a big bear hug and holding his face tightly against her chest, making him blush brighter than the sun as she shouted, "Aw Connie! You defended my honor!"

"I can't. I'm going to vomit," Erna promised this with a very straight face. Jean topped off her glass, saying, "Here, this makes it better." She emptied the glass in a few chugs. Armin warned her, and by association, everyone, "Careful, we still have training tomorrow."

Erna thought she would be fine with that. There had to be a happy medium between being drunk enough to sleep through the racket and not drunk enough to be hung over. Then she heard a deep, but immature voice behind her, "Hey doll-face…" She did not turn around, hoping for this guy's sake that he was trying to talk to someone else.

Jean spoke from experience when he said, "You don't want to do this, guy."

"Oh, come on, doll-face, I'm friendly. Turn around and show me what those cute little lips can do, I won't bite."

Erna closed her eyes and yelled inside her head, _Ignore him. Ignore him. Ignore him. _Sasha was beside herself with laughter. She had to wipe a tear from her eye, "Oh my god, Doll-Face, I love it! That is your name from now on!"

That was what made Erna lose it. The mantra in her head changed to _Ignore him, he's dead._ Without even turning to look the guy in the eye, she stood up, stepping to the side and behind him, grabbing the back of his neck and slamming his head down onto the table… again… and again… Some of her squad looked horrified and some were grinning, but either way they all grabbed for their glasses to keep anything from spilling. Before she could bust his head open Erna threw the poor guy on the ground. She didn't want to kill him… she wanted to kill Sasha, but she knew it would be seen as more acceptable to take her anger out on this guy and maybe an ebb in teasing from Sasha would be a byproduct of that. Now she could really get a look at him. He was about two or three times her size, strong like an ox, so she didn't feel too bad. He tried to roll over, but she put her whole body into a kick to his stomach, keeping him on his back while she grabbed a spoon off of the table. He was in too much pain to even try to get away as she straddled him, sitting on his chest, one knee on either side of his head.

The guy winced, closing his eyes, thinking she was about to punch him. But she wasn't, so she pried the eyelids over one of his eyes open and held the spoon in front of it. "Do you see this?" She didn't expect or wait for an answer. "This is what I'm going to use to remove your eyes," she said very calmly and very seriously. She had no intention of following through, but she very much wanted to scare the shit out of him.

Before she could further torture the trainee, she heard that familiar voice. "Raban," was all Erwin said, sounding very calm, as if he were greeting her in the corridor. He was standing over them. She cursed herself for not noticing such a huge guy in her periphery and quickly stood up. She grabbed the trainee by the arm and lifted him up with her and with a little difficulty got him standing on his own. Erna brushed him off and said, "Commander Erwin. We were just playing. Don't worry, he's perfectly fine."

Erwin gave her a look that said _Don't insult my intelligence_. The guy looked dazed, but he saluted Erwin who put a hand on his shoulder, "Relax and go back to your friends. Don't mess with the veterans, they can be very surly." The kid all but ran.

Erwin gave her a stern look and Erna looked at the floor and complained, "He's being over-dramatic. I only hurt him a little."

Erwin sighed and told everyone, "Don't kill any of the new recruits, we need them," turning to Erna with another of his _I'm very disappointed in you_ looks, he motioned for her to sit back down and continued, "Okay, first bad news and then good news. The bad news for you, but good for me, is that we got more new recruits than anyone expected, so people are going to have to start sharing rooms." This news got a loud, synchronized groan from the table.

Eren asked, "Can we kill them now?"

Erwin ignored him and went on, "If you could all work out arrangements for roommates on your own without being children about it you would save us a lot of time and trouble. You can find cots in the supply depot."

Jean sounded incredulous now, "There was good news?"

Erwin remembered, "Ah yes, Good news is that Pixis wanted me to give this to you, Eren." He produced a bottle of good vodka from his jacket and put it on the table. Before removing his hand from the bottle, he looked at them all very sternly as if they really were children, "Don't kill or maim anyone," he warned them as he turned and left to go notify others of the change in living arrangements.

Everyone who still had wine in their glass quickly emptied it and held it out to Eren as he began pouring shots, he said, "Drinking contest. Whoever loses has to room with Jean."

Jean quickly replied, "I'm fine with that," knowing that obviously Mikasa would lose.

Eren realized what he was thinking, "Wait. Nevermind. Should we draw straws?" No one was a huge fan of that idea. This seemed too important to leave up to chance.

"We could try being adults like Erwin suggested," Erna reminded them.

They rolled their eyes. Except Connie who motioned for them to quiet their grumbling and said, "Wait, you guys, I like where Erna is going with this." He turned to her, "So what you're saying is: If we only kill four rookies, we can all still keep our rooms?"

"… That was not at all what –" Erna was cut off by Eren, "Great plan! I second it!"

Connie slapped his hand on the table like a gavel, "Motion carried!"

Mikasa didn't even turn to look at Eren as she told him very seriously and very quietly, "I'm rooming with you." Eren held his head in his hands, annoyed that she always had to be right on top of him, resigned to his fate he replied, "I know you are." He had given up on wondering when she would ever stop being so insanely overprotective.

Erna made a calculated decision and grabbed Krista's hand, "I call Krista!" Krista looked surprised at the sudden outburst, but said "O- Okay." Erna explained, "You're the only one who doesn't pick on me and I suspect that everyone but you snores very loudly. You look like you would sleep perfectly peaceful like an angel."

"And you look like you would have screaming night terrors. You're perfect for each other." Jean teased her, annoyed at the suggestion that he may be a snorer.

Erna reassured Krista, "I do not scream in my sleep that often… but if I do, do not wake me up."

Jean looked to Armin, "Hey Armin, you're the only tolerable person here. Want to be roommates?" This was as close to a compliment as he was capable of giving.

Before Armin could even answer, Connie took offense, "Hey! Jean, what the fuck?"

"Connie, you are the worst roommate! You leave dirty clothes everywhere, and Erna's right, you do snore."

Connie looked around and figured out that left him and Sasha. She realized at the same time and pulled him into another hug, "Yay! Best friends! We're going to have so much fun!" Connie blushed again and tried to pry her arms from around him so he could get another shot of vodka.

Erna winked at them and teased, "Yeah, you guys are going to have _so_ much fun." Sasha was oblivious as to her meaning and to the fact that Connie could not endure one of her hugs without his face turning beet red, but everyone else snickered.

Connie composed himself, ignoring them, and turned to share a very platonic high-five with Sasha who cheered.

Erna slid her glass to Eren requesting, "One more, so we can drink to behaving like adults."

"No way, I want to save the rest of this. And I don't want to have to carry Mikasa again," Eren was being a bad sport because he was irritated at not being able to choose a roommate. He probably would have chosen Mikasa anyway, but he hated when he felt like she was making decisions for them and treating him like a kid.

"Don't be a dick, Eren." Jean did not believe in the whole catching more flies with honey thing. At that moment they heard a glass break somewhere, followed by the sound of rookie giggling. There were more shouts, cheers, and obnoxiousness. They saw a big guy lift a girl over his shoulder to carry her off as she squealed in delight. Armin asked nicely, "Please, Eren," reminding him that they were in this together. Eren said nothing and didn't stop scowling, but began pouring everyone another shot.

* * *

Erna walked back to her room to get her things. After they drank more, they had run into the problem of deciding whose room each pair would move into as everyone was pretty attached to their rooms, except Erna. For her and Krista the decision was easy, since Erna had only a few things it would be easier for her to move into Krista's room. The only drawback was that she would have to sleep on a cot, but Erna decided she had slept in worse places and she didn't mind. She watched the floor as she walked, testing out how well she could maintain a straight line. She didn't feel half as drunk as last time, but it was difficult to tell since she had blacked out the last time, making it hard to remember what being that drunk felt like. She pondered all this as she bumped into Levi who was leaning against the wall next to her door.

"Really?" he sounded mildly surprised at her klutziness. "Watch where you're going."

"Watch where you're… standing? Were you waiting for me?"

He didn't answer her, but instead pushed her to the door, "Get your things."

Erna felt she didn't have any other witty things to say, so she just opened the door and started removing her uniforms from the dresser, putting them in a neat pile on the bed and tossing her soap, towels and a few other military issue necessities on top. She managed to carry the 3DMG and everything else in one arm and hold her extra pair of boots in her other hand. She turned around and faced Levi who was watching her from the doorway. After a beat, he asked, "That's it?"

Erna shrugged, "My life hasn't been very conducive to accumulating things."

Levi brought his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose and exhaled a sigh. "Come on."

Erna followed him, carefully balancing her things in one arm. "Um… I'm supposed to move in with Krista, so can I just drop this stuff there first?"

"You really are dumber than usual tonight."

"Blame the alcohol." Erna almost stumbled. It was hard enough to balance without carrying an uneven load.

"Try to keep up." Levi kept a pretty quick pace as he led her to his room, opening the door, guiding her inside and shutting it behind them. He pointed to the floor next to the door frame, "Boots go there."

Erna dropped her boots and followed him as he went to the bedroom. He leaned against the foot of the bed and pointed at the dresser, "Bottom two drawers are yours." She just looked at him in confusion. He explained further as if she were experiencing partial brain damage, "For clothes…" Erna took a little time to realize she was moving in, but when she processed the situation, she moved to the dresser and began putting her clothes inside. Levi took her soap and threw it in a wastebasket, "Use mine. Yours is shit."

Erna finished putting her clothes away. They fit in one drawer, with some space leftover. She argued, "Soap is just soap. What's the difference? It all gets you clean."

Levi looked at her as if she had just called his mother a whore, "You could not be more wrong."

Erna dropped the subject, though she still disagreed. She held up her 3DMG, "Where does this go?"

"Wherever you think you would reach it the fastest in an emergency," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and she was an idiot for wondering if every single thing had a specific place it should go.

Erna wanted to ask him why his particular brand of OCD was so unpredictable. Instead she looked around, thinking. She settled on putting it on the floor under the bedroom windowsill.

Levi asked her, "Why there?" as if this were a test and there were right and wrong answers.

"If anything happened, it would be stupid to try to deal with all those corridors full of people. I'd go out the window and maneuver off of the building." She felt pretty confident in her reasoning despite being a little drunk.

"Fair enough," Levi seemed satisfied enough with her answer, but it was always hard to tell with him.

For the first time she felt annoyed at how inscrutable he was being. She lashed out very mildly, "You really want me here? I thought work and play had to be separate."

"You really are a mouthy drunk," he was unamused at her throwing his words back in his face. "I have no problem keeping you here and keeping the two things separate and I'm hoping you're smart enough to be able to do the same. You're like a job in itself. Just behave and don't get anything dirty."

Erna thought about this for a second, and then asked, "What do I tell Krista?"

"I don't give a shit. Tell her whatever you want. Tell everyone I need you here so I can punish you and fuck you at my convenience. I'm not trying to hide you. I already told Erwin, so don't worry about it getting back to him."

Erna felt like this was probably a really sweet thing to say, but it was difficult to tell because his tone was never what one would call sweet. But she was quickly distracted by the words "punish," and "fuck," so she asked, "… Is now convenient?"

He leered at her, "Not tonight. You talk back too much when you're drunk. Your punishment tonight is not getting punished."

She pouted, but tried to remove the argumentative tone from her voice, "I promise to only speak when spoken to if that would change your mind."

Levi seemed to think about this, finally saying, "We'll see. Come on, I'm not leaving you here to go through my stuff." He made her follow him to the office and she kneeled next to his chair while he went over some things at his desk. She wanted to ask him if he ever stopped working, but she kept her promise in mind and her mouth shut. After a little while she put her head in his lap and dozed off, she didn't know for how long, but she was woken up by a tug of her hair and Levi's voice, "I was wondering how you were managing to stay quiet. Falling asleep doesn't count as being obedient, you know."

Thinking her efforts were in vain now anyway, Erna stood up and sat on the desk, complaining "It's hard to stay awake down there." She expected Levi to tell her to get down, but he didn't. He ignored her for a few minutes before saying, "I can smell the smoke from your brain cells burning out. What are you thinking so hard about?"

"I don't know… It's stupid." Erna was ashamed to say.

"I'm one hundred percent certain that it is, but that doesn't mean you're allowed to not tell me." Levi didn't look up from his work.

She paused to find the words, "It's just… I was thinking how it's disappointing how you'll never have to save me."

"That is stupid," he put down his pen and looked at her, "Explain yourself."

"I don't know… I guess it's because… at dinner earlier, some guy hit on Sasha and Connie laid him out and in a way it seemed really sweet. It's dumb."

"It is dumb, but it makes sense for you… You think that if you can't make me angry then I don't care about you and this latest dumb idea is just an extension of that."

She was shocked that he understood it so well when she didn't understand it at all. It was _her_ brain after all. "I guess that hits the nail pretty well on the head." She really felt like an idiot.

"What dumb things are you thinking now?"

"I guess… that I'm sorry I'm fucked up." She looked down at the desk, wishing she could sink into the floor or just blink out of existence.

He actually looked angry at her for saying that. "Did I say you were fucked up? Don't give yourself that much credit, there are people who are a lot more fucked up than you are." He roughly turned her face to look at him, "Listen to me carefully because I don't want to have to repeat this. I happen to enjoy you and everything about you, which includes the particular way in which you are fucked up, but also the fact that you are strong and competent and you're never going to be a fucking damsel in distress. It wouldn't be fun to dominate someone who was actually weak." He pulled her off of the desk and guided her to straddle him in the chair so that he could keep her face very close while he quietly told her, "That said, if anyone were to actually somehow succeed in hurting you, I would kill them first and then I would kill you for being fucking stupid."

Erna smiled, "That sounds fair." Levi reached down to grab her ass and pull her in closer to him and he started licking and biting her slender, pale neck. When he had her moaning and her breathing came in irregular gasps, he stopped and grabbed her waist, pushing her a little away to look into her eyes, "Do you remember what I asked you the last time you were drunk in my office?"

"Right now I can't remember my name. Why do you do this to me?" She ground her pelvis against him, frustrated that he was always getting her worked up and then stopping.

"I asked you what you think about when you touch yourself and you refused to answer me." He pinched a nipple through the fabric of her shirt. "You were embarrassed."

Erna didn't remember but she wasn't at all surprised, "I'm still embarrassed… and I still won't tell you."

"Nothing you could say would surprise me or make me think that you're more fucked up than I already know you are." He pulled her face down in close to his and told her, "If you don't tell me, I'm going to do things that will make you wish you had."

The way he said it, she knew this wasn't the fun kind of threat. She decided to just get it out immediately knowing that every second that she delayed would make it worse, "Most of the time, I think about that time you were angry at me for beating up on Jean, when you kicked me around, made me clean the kitchen, and then made me lick the floor." Her heart was racing, she hated that she had to say it, she felt sure he was going to be disgusted with her forever now. She looked at a spot on the floor so that she wouldn't be able to see the revulsion she was sure would be in his eyes. Levi lightly trailed a hand up her back until it was in her hair and he tilted her head back and kissed her in a way that was soft and reassuring instead of hungry and insistent. Erna couldn't close her eyes, she was too surprised and confused. When he finally took his lips away from hers, there was only a very slight bemused tone to his voice when he said, "You really thought that would shock me."

"I did. It shocks me," she was happy, but confused as to how cool he could be about it, like it was nothing.

"I just told you that you interpret anger and the infliction of pain as love. So it makes sense. I'd be shocked if you told me you thought about something conventionally romantic." He put his hands around her waist and made her stand up in front of him. "You better hold onto that memory though, because you'll never be able to get me that angry again." He leaned back a little in his chair, "Get undressed."

Erna was growing so used to this request, she didn't hesitate at all to start removing her clothes, folding each article and placing it on the desk, at the same time pointing out, "I could easily beat Jean up again."

"Obviously, but that's not what I was angry about." He stood up from the chair and took the white cotton panties from her pile of clothes and threw them in the bin next to the desk. "I was angry about not being able to have you."

Feeling totally relieved now, Erna teased him, "I can always play hard to get."

"Can you?" He stood close to her, but just far enough that he wasn't touching her and he whispered in her ear in that evil tone that she loved, "Do you really think you could say 'no' to anything I wanted to do to you?"

She didn't have to think about the question for very long. "No," she was okay with feeling defeated on this one point.

"Good." He opened one of the larger bottom drawers on the desk and pulled out a bag, "Now this isn't cruel or sadistic, so you're not going to think it means I care about you, but gifts are how normal people express these things," now he was teasing her. She could tell from the words, not the tone. His tone remained that trademark deadpan.

Erna gladly took the bag, smiling and excited until she opened it. She reached in and pulled out just one of many pairs of colorful, sexy, silky, lacy panties and she twirled them around her finger. "This seems more like a gift for you than for me."

Levi shrugged, "Your gift is that I'm not going to throw out all of those white cotton rags that you call underwear."

Erna slipped into a pair of deep purple cheeky panties with black lace trim and found a matching bra in the bag, putting that on as well. She twisted around, trying to look at her own butt without the aid of a mirror and asked, "Better?"

"Much better. You actually almost look your age." He took another bag from the desk and she clapped her hands and jumped up and down in delight and reached for it. He pulled it back, "Except when you do shit like that," and held it out to her again when she put on a straight face. "Those are also more for me than for you. It's depressing seeing you wear a uniform on your days off."

Erna opened the bag, "Clothes and shoes…" She tried not to sound disappointed.

"What were you hoping for?"

"These are nice and I appreciate the thought very much, but I just don't care much about what I wear. I was hoping for something useful, like a new knife. OR something you could hurt me or tie me up with." She smiled mischievously.

Levi tried to act annoyed, "Go put your new things away and go to bed."

Erna pouted, "You're still not going to punish me?"

"Not in a way you'll like. You wasted too much time making me explain why I love you and making me answer stupid questions. Honestly, you're a piece of work. If you shut up more, I would have more time to torture you and fuck you like the insatiable little whore you are." He pointed to the door that separated the office from the rest of the apartment and slapped her ass hard, "Go."

Erna gave a little squeal and went to the door, stepping through before turning around and saying "You looove me," in a childish sing-song voice and closing the door just before he could throw a paperweight at her.

* * *

**(A/N) **

**Thank you for reading. I probably love you.**


	11. Admiration

**(A/N) Springles. Jearmin. Fluff. Smut. Get it, get it.**

**Disclaimer: None of Attack on Titan belongs to me. I just write about what I would do with/to the characters if I could.**

* * *

Connie set his stuff down in a big pile in a corner of Sasha's room. He was a little drunk and a lot tired and he figured Sasha wouldn't mind if he put his stuff away tomorrow after training. He looked around the room and could tell that, as he had expected, Sasha wasn't exactly a clean freak. It was strange being in her room. They were best friends and spent a lot of time together during the day, but they always hung out in public common areas, never in each other's rooms.

A minute or two later, Sasha arrived with a cot from the supply depot and she leaned it against the wall. "I got it, but really Connie, you don't need to use it. The bed's big enough, I don't mind sharing."

Connie frowned, "I don't think that's a good idea." He took the cot and unfolded it.

"But why not?"

Connie loved her, but she really could be totally oblivious. Maybe it was because he was a little drunk, maybe it was because he'd had enough of it, or maybe he was afraid that if he didn't remind her that he was in fact a man she was going to make him participate in a pillow fight and then braid her hair like they were having a fucking slumber party, but for any one of these reasons he finally told her, "Because I'm a guy, Sasha. And you're hot… I mean, I find you really attractive anyway. And I'm not saying I can't be friends with you, but come on, you've got to realize that the idea of sharing a bed with you would make me horny." He finished unfolding the cot which was done a little roughly in his frustration, sat down, and shifted his gaze to her face, which was goddamn adorably dumbfounded. Her cute lips were in the shape of a little 'o'. He looked away from her, bringing a hand to the back of his neck and blushing, "Aw come on, don't make me feel like an idiot. I know we're just friends, but I'm not a corpse."

"Connie… I… I feel the same way…"

Now it was Connie's turn to look surprised. Sasha blushed a little and went on, "I just thought you only saw me as a friend."

Connie felt equal parts joy and rage. Joy for obvious reasons. Rage at himself for being too much of a pussy to kiss her all these years. He didn't want to waste any more time. He stood up and put his hands around her waist, giving her a gentle push backwards so she would sit on the bed. With the height difference it would be near impossible to do anything standing. He pushed her legs apart with his knee and stood between them, cradling her head in his hands and pulling her into the most passionate, loving kiss. Parting her lips, exploring her mouth, he never wanted to come up for air. They kissed deeply, but slowly, until Connie pulled his face away to take a good look at the girl he loved. He wasn't in a rush to make up for lost time now, he felt like he could just kiss her forever and be content. Sasha looked so stunned that he was worried for a second that he had just totally fucked up and maybe they weren't as much on the same page as he thought, but before he could worry too much, she put her arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss, but this one was urgent and hungry. He kissed her back roughly and brought his hands up to knead her breasts through her shirt, making her moan into his lips. It made him want to growl, to take all of his pent up frustration, unexpressed love, and anger at his inaction, and fuck her like a crazed animal. He moved down to lick and suck on her neck as he pulled at her shirt, trying to unbutton it as fast as possible.

Sasha moaned regretfully, "I loved you too much to tell you."

He growled into her neck, "Same." He gave up with the buttons and ripped her shirt open. Too impatient to even try fumbling with her bra, he just pushed it up and over her tits so he could get at them quickly. He took one in his mouth while kneading the other with his hand. He felt her nipple harden in his mouth and he gave the other one a light pinch and told her "I love your tits," before greedily sucking on the other breast.

She moaned and arched her back, and pulled his head closer, "I love your bald head." He licked around her areola, not offended enough to stop, but enough to tell her, "I'm not bald, I shave my head like every three days."

She grabbed at the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head and giggled, "Whatever. I think it's hot." She wrapped her legs around him and he pressed the bulge in his pants against her. He felt like a teenager, so sick in love and horny and rushing too much to do anything smoothly. He leaned into her and she lay back on the bed, legs still hanging over the edge. He kneeled down and pulled her boots off, then her socks, then her pants.

He got onto his knees and pushed her legs apart, bringing his face to the crotch of her panties and giving her a long, slow lick, making her shout and moan, "Oh my god, Connie!"

He thought about telling her to try to be quiet for a split second before deciding he didn't care who heard. He wanted her to scream his name as loud as she wanted. He pulled her panties to the side and gazed lovingly at her beautiful pink pussy before licking it and rubbing his nose against her clit. He weaved his tongue between her folds, sucked on her lips, made quick flicking motions with his tongue, and repeated anything that made her scream. He had eaten plenty of pussy before and considered himself to be pretty good at it, but he had never been so attentive or so hungry, it had always just been more a gesture of courtesy. For the first time, with Sasha, he genuinely cared more about his partner's climax than his own.

Soon Sasha was clutching his head, and moaning incoherently, "OhmygodOhmygodOhmygod!" When she came, she fell back on the bed panting for air. He gave her a few more broad licks with his tongue, making her shudder. He stood up and looked down at her, pretty pleased with himself when he saw the look of ecstasy still on her face. He teased her, his voice dripping with well-deserved smugness, asking, "You okay?" She didn't answer… or open her eyes… she was sleeping. Connie gave her a nudge in the right direction and, still asleep, she moved herself until she was comfortable with her head on the pillow. He took off his pants and got in bed next to her, pulling the covers over both of them and kissing her forehead, "I love you, Potato Girl."

* * *

Jean lay on his back, eyes open, staring at the dark ceiling from his cot near Armin's bed. Loud voices of new trainees echoed down the halls outside. "When will they shut up?"

"If it will help you sleep, you can take the bed and I'll take the cot." Armin offered.

Jean huffed, "Don't be ridiculous, it's your room. You shouldn't have to give up the bed in your own room."

Armin softly pointed out, "It's your room too now."

There was a crash outside, someone stumbling into a piece of furniture or something. Jean made a frustrated groaning sound and stood up, telling Armin, "Move over," and getting into the bed next to him.

Armin was pressed between Jean and the wall now and stammered, "Um… Oh – okay… If you're sure…"

"Those cots are uncomfortable as all hell and smell like mold; I'm not making you sleep in one." There were more crashing sounds and laughter outside. "Fucking rookies…"

"Just try to ignore it and relax. It'll be easier to fall asleep if you don't let yourself get angry."

Jean knew, of course, that he was right. It was just so damn hard to not get angry. He tried to breathe deeply and close his eyes. "How are you so smart and yet still friends with that stupid Jaeger?"

"Talking about him isn't going to help you relax."

"You're right. I'm sorry." Jean turned to look at Armin, "It just doesn't make any sense to me, but I'll drop it."

"Why doesn't it make any sense?"

"Because…" It was hard for Jean to say anything that wasn't abrasive, he wasn't well-practiced in it. "… You're so kind… and smart…" _and beautiful,_ he added inside his head. "And he's so hot-headed and dumb and…"

"Well-meaning and earnest, but stubborn and difficult?" Armin cut him off, adding quietly, "You two are a lot alike. I think that's why you guys butt heads a lot… and I think that's why you and I get along so well."

"Tch…" Jean hated being compared to that shithead.

"Don't be mad." Armin sounded and looked calm and rational, not apologetic. _He shouldn't be sorry_, Jean thought, _He's right as usual._ Jean wished he could be more like Armin, but he didn't have the kind of strength that it took to be patient. He had grown to admire and respect Armin so much, to the point where for a while now it had been starting to feel like he had a crush. The more he admired Armin's brain and way of being, the more he also admired his face and his body; his beautiful deep blue eyes, the curve of his neck, his slender body that was much stronger than anyone would expect, even the way Armin smelled gave him a rush whenever he was close enough. He was sure that if he told Armin about it he would explain something about brain chemicals and pheromones, and Jean loved that too. He thought he would give anything to be with him, but he couldn't be sure how Armin felt and he knew that a rejection from the blonde would destroy him, so he settled for friendship.

"You don't have to press yourself against the wall like that. You act like I'm going to bite you or something. Just lay however is comfortable."

"It's okay… I'm fine," Armin said, but he didn't look fine. He looked and sounded nervous. It irritated Jean a little, made him feel like Armin saw him as some kind of monster. He quickly reached for Armin's waist and pulled him closer, so that their faces were only inches apart, "See? I don't bite." Now Armin looked truly terrified and Jean quickly figured out why when he felt what was definitely not Armin's hand poking his stomach. As the realization crept over Jean's face, Armin blushed and he could tell he was about to stammer out an apology, but he didn't want to hear it, didn't want him to be sorry, so he closed his eyes and kissed him before any apology could escape his soft, perfect lips. He didn't feel any resistance, but when he took his lips away and opened his eyes, Armin looked completely stunned and Jean felt the sting of rejection. He turned away and started to get up to get out of bed, saying, "I'm sorry – I," but Armin put an arm around him and gently, easily pulled him back. "No, it's okay, just stay," Armin pleaded softly. Jean was laying facing away from him now and Armin nuzzled his face against the back of Jean's neck, reassuring him further, "It was nice… I liked it… So just go to sleep."

Jean had never pictured himself being the little spoon, but it helped him to relax and fall asleep, feeling loved and cared for in Armin's arms and also being able to rest easy knowing that Armin wouldn't be able to feel his embarrassingly throbbing hard cock pitching a tent in his pajama pants.

* * *

**(A/N) I have this idea that Connie would be really good, giving, & game in bed. Maybe because he's short? I think short guys try harder. That is my impression. Do not wonder about how I know.**

**The Springles smut fluff (smuff? flut?) took me like 10 minutes to write and I did almost no editing. I had not planned it out first, but apparently there is just a lot of Springles floating around in my head, waiting to be written. The Jearmin fluff took FOR-EV-ER. It is like really easy to imagine them as a couple, doing smutty things, being adorbs, etc. but it is really difficult to imagine how that first awkward kiss would go down if you don't want to write it as Jean just finally deciding to ravage the guy, awkwardness be damned. I wanted it to be fluffier than that. Also, Armin doesn't really do it for me as a character. You could probably tell because I rarely write dialogue for him. Maybe it's because I'm not into blondes? Or because I'm not into quiet, intelligent, sweet people? Or both? …It's both.**

**Thank you for reading. I probably love you. I know, it's been a while, but I'm cautious when it comes to throwing that word around. **


	12. La Petite Mort

**(A/N) This first section starts off fun and then I don't know what comes over me. You'll see.**  
**Trigger warning for a very, very slight, teeny-tiny hint of non-con at the end of this chapter. I mean, I think if nothing has been a trigger for you in this story thus far, then it shouldn't be a problem, but I'll exercise caution here because what the fuck do I know?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan or any of its characters, which is really lucky for them... I would do horrible things. I do own my OC, Erna Raban, and she's fine with that. The horrible things suit her alright.**

* * *

Erna woke up, alone and in a comfortable bed. She opened her eyes and felt a jolt of that panic upon awaking that is sometimes common when the brain doesn't immediately recognize its surroundings as safe and familiar, but then she remembered where she was and nuzzled her face back into Levi's pillow. It smelled like his hair and she let out a sweet sigh. Feeling relaxed and well-rested, she opened her eyes again, this time looking at the window, at the bright sunlight filtering through. This time the jolt of panic she felt was rational and not instinctual, "Fuck me! What time is it?!"

Erna flew to the dresser, grabbing for her clothes and getting dressed as quickly as possible. She heard Levi's voice from the washroom, stating matter-of-factly, "You're awake."

"I'm going to miss breakfast! Why didn't you wake me up?" Erna struggled with the buttons of a shirt. The faster she tried to get dressed, the longer it always took.

"I didn't want to listen to your complaining. You whine too much when I wake you up."

Erna got tangled in a harness strap and nearly fell. "I wouldn't whine so much," she tugged at the strap, grunting, "if you would wake me up like a normal person," she tugged again, "instead of teasing me with your fingers or shaking me awake from what is obviously a really good sex dream!" She got her harness fixed, buckled, and straight, pulled her boots on and angrily stomped to the open washroom door to tell him that he was a goddamn sociopath, but she stopped at the door frame and her jaw dropped.

Levi stood in front of the mirror over the sink, a towel around his waist. He had already showered. His wet hair was tied into a top knot, out of the way as he shaved the sides of his undercut with a straight razor. He didn't turn around, but he could see her reaction in the mirror. "You look truly fascinated. Did you think my hair just did this on its own?"

"I… You…" Erna stammered and then let out a short, frustrated scream, stamped her foot and balled her hands into fists, "You are stupidly hot! I can't stand you!"

"Tch." He tried to act annoyed, "See? Always complaining." Erna elbowed him out of the way of the sink, making him almost cut the back of his neck with the razor, and splashed cold water on her face. Levi turned serious and as she reached for a towel he grabbed her wrist, twisting it behind her back and bringing the razor to her throat in one swift motion. He looked at her face in the mirror, loving the way she looked in the rare moments where she was actually afraid of him. Nothing was more alluring to him than when he could make her eyes wide with terror and watch her chest rise and fall as she breathed deeply and tried not to scream. She stood still as a statue. He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Don't be so impulsive," as he traced her jawline with the razor, "You almost made me cut myself."

Levi knew that she could disarm him and put him down if she wanted to, that's what made the game fun. He knew she wanted that adrenaline rush, to let him scare her, and let him push the boundaries of her trust. He lightly pressed the blade against her skin and sucked on her earlobe, making her whimper and moan. He twisted her wrist a little harder and pressed his erection against her, keeping the razor still and pushing her into it hard enough to make her breath hitch, but not hard enough to break the skin of her deliciously vulnerable neck. She leaned back into him and moaned like an eager little slut. He considered taking her roughly from behind, making her clutch the sink, watching her face in the mirror as he fucked her… but he could wait. He let go of her wrist and took the razor away, continuing where he left off with his hair and reminding her, "You're going to be late." She looked, for a second, like her legs would give out. A noise came out of her that started as a whimper, turned into a moan, and finished as a primal sound of frustration. He smirked to himself as she turned around and stormed off.

* * *

Erna went through the door separating Levi's office from the apartment, trying to ignore the slight throbbing feeling between her legs. It was too late in the morning and there would be too many people around for her to go out the apartment door. Even though Levi didn't care if anyone knew, Erna liked to protect the little privacy she had. Leaving from the office would be less obvious. But aside from being able to come up with this small piece of strategy, she felt utterly senseless. Her thoughts only came in images. Her body still pumped with adrenaline and lust. She pressed her forehead against the cool wood of the door to the corridor and breathed. "Baka…" she murmured. She turned and looked at a clock that sat atop a shelf on the other wall. There was no time to collect herself, she opened the door and took off running to the dining hall.

It was still more crowded than she was used to. Too many new faces. She found her squad and sat down hurriedly at the end of the table next to Krista who gently pushed a cup of coffee over the tabletop to her. While everyone else was still busy talking about how annoying the adjustments for the new recruits were, Krista leaned over and whispered, "I told them you overslept. Otherwise they would think you spent the night with a trainee and you'd never hear the end of it."

Erna looked down at the mug; the coffee was black, the way she liked. She wanted to hug the girl. She whispered back, "You're so sweet. Thank you."

"I just want everybody to be happy." Krista flashed her one of her big-eyed smiles that made it seem like light was shining down from heaven and angels were singing. _How does she do that?_

Erna drank her coffee which was only lukewarm, so it must have been waiting for her for a while. Her mind was still cloudy from before. She fixed her eyes on the mug, but she was seeing Levi, naked, hurting her, fucking her, both at the same time, in a myriad of different ways. She got lost in thought for a while.

Connie eventually interrupted her thinking, "Erna, you lightweight, how did you get hung over and oversleep when none of us even got a decent buzz?"

Erna paused for a second, her brain not being in the mode it needed to be in order to make sentences. Then she deflected with flattery, "I just can't handle my booze like you guys can."

Sasha pointed out, "You seemed fine when you left last night."

Erna deflected again, "What about you guys? How was your slumber party?" Neither Sasha nor Connie answered, but they both blushed.

Just as everyone noticed, came to the same conclusion, and were about to start grilling them for details, Levi stepped in and unintentionally saved the pair. "Oi, brats. Get your gear. We're going out on reconnaissance. It's too loud around here lately." Everyone paused, torn between following the order or delaying it for a moment and teasing Sasha and Connie until Levi added, "Now." They scattered.

When everyone was gone, Erna gave him a dirty look, "You could have told me." Now she would have to run to get her 3DMG from his room, which was much farther than everyone else's and make it outside to get her horse, get ready, and keep up with everyone else.

As she got up from her chair and went to walk past him, he grabbed her upper arm, stopping her at his side and saying only just loudly enough for her to hear, "When did you want me tell you? When you were incessantly whining at me for not waking you up? When you were writhing against me and moaning with my razor to your throat? Or when you threw a tantrum and stormed off like a petulant brat?" She turned to face him, her face flushed and her heart beat faster at his words. She couldn't help getting excited whenever his voice was dripping with evil and contempt. She liked when he sounded like he wanted to hurt and humiliate her and he knew it. She felt the wetness return between her legs. She felt like she wanted to attack him, bite him, scratch him, impale herself on his cock. She wanted to do everything and she wanted it to be fast and rough and animalistic. Her eyes glazed over and her mouth went dry. He gave her arm a little shake, "I have a lot to punish you for later. For now, _try_ to focus and not get yourself killed." Erna shook her head, trying to literally shake the images from her mind. Levi let go of her arm, telling her, "Go. Don't keep me waiting."

...

* * *

Erna ran out to where the rest of Levi's and Hange's squads were waiting, out of breath and faster, she knew, than Levi expected. When she had gotten to his room and put her 3DMG together, she'd opened his window and jumped out. Shooting a hook into the outer part of the windowsill, she had rappelled down, cutting the time it would take her to get out and meet up with them by half. Still, she was late. Everyone was already on their horses and waiting. Levi attempted to embarrass her, "What took you so long?"

Erna took her saddle off her hip and rested it on the ground, bringing her fingers to her lips in a long, loud whistle. She smiled, "I had to get carrots." She took a carrot from her pocket and broke it in half, casually holding a broken piece out in the flat of her palm, not even turning her head as her horse galloped up behind her, slid to a stop, and devoured the offering, nearly taking Erna's fingers with it. She equipped Raven with her saddle, bridle, and signal flares quickly and bribed her into coming down to her knees with the other half of the carrot and she mounted up. "Sorry! I'm ready." She got into formation and they left the headquarters, going out over the drawbridge into the open, and fanning out.

Before pulling her horse away, Erna yelled to the person closest to her, "Mikasa, did they say where we're going?"

"We're searching out a new route… They didn't say what for… Just south for now…" Mikasa replied calmly, and Erna drifted away until she was a speck in the distance.

For a while, Erna remained hyper-vigilant, tense and ready. After a few miles of riding at a fast, but steady pace, keeping the riders on all sides just close enough to be seen over the landscape and not seeing any flares go up, she started to relax. The change of scenery was lovely. She thought it was nice to get away from the now cramped and crowded headquarters. Even though the chance of dying out here was much higher, it felt more quiet and peaceful than being inside headquarters where everything was relatively very safe. She let her mind go blank for a while, feeling all of the stress from the morning pouring out of her. So many feelings came with being human and they were mentally taxing for her. She had missed being in the way of danger, out on missions where everything was simple, adrenaline leaving no room for anxieties and keeping her mind blank and ready to react quickly. After covering about nine more miles, she heard a pop and a hiss to her right and saw both a red and then a black flare off in the distance. She didn't feel any apprehension. She only had two thoughts, "_Break formation" _and "_Neutralize threat." _Nothing else ran through her head as she steered Raven towards the source of the flares.

Because of their size, Erna saw the titans long before she could see who sent up the flares. One was smaller and running after two riders who were chasing another, larger titan that was running eastward. Erna signaled to the two riders to take care of the titan behind them, that she would get the variant. She didn't notice details. She took in what was relevant _Perpendicular course, about 55mph, Target… _she scanned the horizon, trying to see what the variant was locked on, what it was running towards in lieu of attacking the closest humans… _undetermined._ In her peripheral vision she saw the other two riders working together to easily hamstring and kill the smaller titan.

Erna brought her feet up, stood on the saddle, jumped, and shot her grapple hooks into the far ankle of the larger titan, reeling herself in, flying dangerously low to the ground, and slashing the tendons behind both ankles, releasing the hooks as the titan fell forwards away from her. Before it was even flat on the ground, she shot a hook into its back, reeled in, released and fell in a graceful arc, using gravity and momentum to give her enough weight to make a deep slash through the nape of the neck. It was over in three seconds. Steam began to surround her in an artificial fog and she jumped down, walking away as she sheathed her blades. Once out of the titan steam, she whistled. While she waited, she took another carrot from inside her jacket. Connie and Sasha reached her as she waited for her horse. When Sasha saw who it was, she shouted, "Doll-Face!"

Erna just smiled. She felt serene out here working like this, teasing didn't bother her the way it did at headquarters. They heard a pop and a hiss and saw a green signal flare. _Six miles south, _Erna thought. She whistled again, breaking the carrot in half, "You guys go ahead, I'll catch up."

"Are you sure?" Connie asked.

"Raven always runs off to graze the second I'm off, but she comes back eventually. Don't wait for me, I'll be fine."

"You're creepiest when you're calm like this, you know?" Sasha wasn't teasing her so much as making an accurate observation.

Erna shrugged, "I like it out here. This makes sense to me."

"You are the weirdest." Connie remarked and he and Sasha rode away towards the signal flare, Sasha yelling over her shoulder, "Be careful, Doll-Face!"

Erna stretched. She watched the clouds. She whistled again, certain that Raven was being lazy and grazing somewhere out of sight. _Stupid horse._ She took a bite of the carrot. The sun felt warmer and the air seemed clearer, even though she was quite sure it was the same sun and air as was near headquarters. She took another bite. Everything felt better when she was out in the open, outside the walls, outside headquarters, it was like all concern and memory of her life went away. Any pull her ego had over her disappeared. There were no decisions, no frustrations, no thoughts of anything. The outside world in all its danger was like her drug or like some kind of purgatory where there were no feelings of agony or ecstasy, just the calmness of feeling nothing. She listened to the birds and let her mind be a blank space for minutes before she saw a titan in the distance running towards her, but then the only thought that formed was, _Get off the ground._

For now, she stood where she was, whistling again, _Please be okay, you stupid horse._ She dropped the carrot, estimated the titan's speed, and sprinted in the direction where she had last left Raven. Running was better than standing. Soon, she saw her horse galloping towards her, but not fast enough, and with another titan behind her, also running towards Erna.

_Save the horse, can't get out without her._ Erna dug her feet into the ground, pushing off to run in a lateral direction, so the titan would change course and not trample over her horse to get to her, but this put her closer to the first titan. _Get off the ground. _She could feel the earth shaking. She took out two new blades and then stood, every muscle tensed and waiting. When the closer titan leaned down and made a grab for her, she shot a hook just behind its wrist and reeled herself in enough to get well away from the ground, detached the hook, shot the other one into its shoulder, reeled herself up, released. The titan tried to grab at the line, but it was already released and reeling back to her. She stabbed a blade into the side of the titan's neck, just to hold herself there, not killing it yet. _Wait. Don't go to the ground. Wait. _

She waited for the other titan to get closer as the one she was standing on thrashed, clumsily trying to reach for her. When the other titan was close enough, she took a clean slice from the nape of the neck of her ride. As it started to fall forward, she jumped and shot her hooks into the next one. This was easier, since she was already up in the air, she could go straight to the shoulder, release, fall, and make her cut in a little less than a full second. When it was done, she shot back to the first titan that was still falling, reeled herself down with it, released and jumped, tucking and rolling against the ground. _Look. _She swiveled her head all around. There weren't any titans visible, but she could hear the sound of one coming from the same direction as the others.

If she could hear it, it was too close_. Get the horse._

She ran to Raven who was a little ways away, around about where she had dropped the carrot, but the carrot was gone now. The whites of her eyes were showing, which was rare for a Survey Corps horse, and she was lathered in sweat – also rare. There was a small gash on her shoulder and a thin rivulet of blood dripping down her leg.

Erna asked, "What in the hell happened to you?" If horses could talk, Raven would have explained something about finding the best grass around the edges of small forests, an encounter with a bear, and how maybe it wasn't best to completely breed the fear out of horses since their best defense was running away in fear, but horses can't talk and so Erna got no answer.

Erna couldn't let herself feel concerned. No matter how the horse was hurt, she needed her to run. She grabbed a chunk of Raven's mane and vaulted up to the saddle. The horse took off like a shot. Erna searched the sky for the remnants of the green signal flare, fading in the wind, but still visible, and she steered for it, leaning forward and murmuring into Raven's ear the whole way to calm her, "Run, you evil thing. Your laziness is going to kill us both. Soft and steady, but only run. Run and keep running even if your lungs burst." Her words were harsh, but her tone was affectionate, steady, and comforting.

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

* * *

Erna followed the spot she had seen the green smoke until she saw the other horses, they were stopped now though, at the edge of an abandoned town. Erna let Raven slow to a trot and she made a running dismount when they got closer, thanking the horse for getting them to safety despite her wounded shoulder. About half of the other riders were dismounted too. Apparently they had been there for a bit. A little further away, Hange and Levi argued over a map that Hange held out. No one seemed to know what they were arguing over. They were only fifteen or twenty miles from headquarters, so they couldn't be lost.

Hange threw her hands up in frustration, pushed the map into Levi's hands, and turned in Armin's direction, shouting, "Armin, talk sense to him, I can't deal with this!" As Armin nervously walked over, Levi looked up, scanning the group, and saw Erna. He walked past Armin, handing him the map but ignoring him and going straight for Erna. Armin looked relieved to be ignored in this one instance.

"What happened to you?"

Was his voice tinged with concern or was that quiet anger or were those the same thing? She couldn't tell. "Nothing. My horse needs first aid and water."

Levi looked at the cut on the horse's shoulder. "Take a spare horse. Leave it."

There weren't many things that Erna was attached to in this world. She didn't have any personal possessions that she cared about, nothing that was irreplaceable or sentimental. The only thing she really cared much about was Levi, but her horse, as mean and dangerous as she was, came in a very close second. "I… am not… leaving… my horse," she said very slowly and severely.

Levi sighed. "Hange, you're good with beasts. Can this one make it?" He shouted over to Hange who was now going over the map with Armin.

Hange came over and Erna showed her the gash. Erna moved to Raven's head and spoke to her quietly and fed her the last carrot she had in small pieces to distract her while Hange examined her. After some scrutiny, Hange decided, "The cut's not so deep. It won't bleed out. But we can't take it for the rest of the mission."

"You're confident it will survive from here back to headquarters?" Levi asked.

"Of course, but –," Hange started, but Levi cut her off. "We're at a stalemate anyway. We'll try another day."

Hange sighed, not happy, but unwilling to argue anymore. "Oh well, we made a good distance anyway." Then she perked up, "Did you run into any titans?" she asked Erna.

"Oh, um," Erna was always a little thrown off by how enthusiastic Hange got about titans. "I took down a variant, then I was waiting for my horse and I had to kill two more. I heard a third one, but I lost it."

Levi sounded unmistakably angry, "Why didn't you send up a signal flare?"

Erna blinked, surprised at the question, she thought the answer was obvious. "I didn't have my horse... The flares are with the horse," she pointed at the pack attached near the saddle. He brought his palm to his forehead.

"Armin!" Hange shouted. Armin hurried over and she snatched the map from him. She held it out and said, "Erna, do me a favor and mark where you saw the titans."

Erna didn't even try to look at the map. Map-reading was not a skill she possessed. "So, um…" She pointed in the direction she had come from, "about four or five miles that way. The variant was heading east, but I didn't see where it came from or what it was running for. The others…" she closed her eyes. She had to think about it. "One approached from the north, the other from northeast and the one I heard but didn't see was also coming from northeast. Maybe there were more coming from that direction; I didn't stay to see."

Hange gave the map back to Armin who got a red pencil from his jacket pocket and marked x's on it. Her eyes lit up, "What did they look like?!"

Erna shrugged, "I didn't notice."

Hange threw her hands up and yelled, "What do you mean you didn't notice!?"

Erna couldn't help responding with a yell. All this discussion had ruined her calm, "Their individual faces and personalities aren't something I take in as information that is relevant to the situation! I can tell you what the napes of their necks looked like: the same! They all look the same!"

Levi made a slight smile. Hange looked horrified and then muttered softly as though she were hurt by the words, "I can't believe I tried to get you on my squad."

Krista walked over, leading another horse, and she handed the reins to Erna before wrapping her in a tight, tearful hug. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

The sudden affection was very jarring for Erna. She stood stiffly, not sure how to react. Then she tried to wriggle out of the hug, "Of course I'm okay! Let go of me!"

Armin reassured Erna, "It's alright, she just does this. Krista's very empathetic." Erna extracted herself from Krista's arms, Armin folded up the map and gave it back to Hange, and Levi gave the order for everyone to mount up. Erna put her forehead against Raven's, and was about to thank her again when the horse head-butted her and pushed her away with her nose. "You evil bitch," Erna rubbed her head, "Ow… I wouldn't want you any other way…" She mounted the fresh horse, which was smaller – small enough for her to get on from the ground – and led Raven behind her as they got back into formation and headed back for headquarters.

* * *

Levi and Hange stood in Erwin's office. The clean-cut blonde man furrowed his eyebrows. "So you couldn't find a safe route?"

"Well we made it to the first checkpoint I had planned…" Hange brought her hand to the back of her neck. "But we disagreed about where to go from there."

"What changed?" Erwin asked.

"Hange wanted to alter the route so she could check out a small, abandoned township twenty miles to the east of the first checkpoint."

"I just think it might be a better place to set up operations. More buildings to maneuver off of would make things safer, wouldn't they? And everyone would have more space –," Hange was cut off by Erwin before she could keep listing reasons.

"I approved your original proposal to use the abandoned isolation hospital in Ralsog … I appreciate your concern for safety, but a small township isn't going to have any buildings with deep basements."

Hange gave up her argument, "… Yes, Erwin, I'm sorry."

"Nothing goes forward until you can prove that you can actually make it there. If you can find a relatively safe route there and back, then we'll talk about details." Erwin rubbed his temples. "Why did you stop?"

"The formation was broken by titans. A horse was injured." Levi stated in his deadpan, matter-of-fact tone.

"We have more horses. They're expendable." Erwin's voice was cold.

"To be clearer, Raban's horse was injured. She refused to go on without it," Levi replied.

"… Hange, you're dismissed…"

...

* * *

Erna had skipped dinner to make sure the veterinary staff took good care of Raven. It was long after dark when she finally left the stable, took a hot shower, and collapsed on the bed naked and exhausted. She was only mildly curious at the fact that Levi wasn't there. He was probably in the office. She wondered if she should go check, but decided she was too tired and the bed was too soft.

She heard the door to the first room open before she could drift off to sleep. She recognized the sound of Levi's boots hitting the floor, the bedroom door opening, and the rustling sound of him getting undressed. She thought that he would be as tired as she was and just fall into bed. She didn't open her eyes until she felt his hands grab her hips and roughly pull her to the edge of the bed. His eyes had a feral and hungry look. He spread her legs and lined his cock up with her entrance, but she clamped her thighs around his waist, holding him still so that he couldn't move any further, "Wait, Levi, I'm not…"

Levi ignored her pleading and leaned over her, grabbing her wrists and pinning them to the bed. He bit down on the curve where her shoulder met her neck, hard. She cried out and lost the grip she had with her thighs for only a second, but that was all he needed. He let go of her wrists and grabbed her thighs, roughly pulling them apart and holding them as he thrust inside of her.

"Ha! … Levi!" Erna gasped in pain. There was no foreplay and she wasn't wet enough, but after a few more rough thrusts the lubrication came and the pain turned into pleasure. He didn't say anything, he only grunted like an animal. When she relaxed her thighs and moaned, he let go of her legs and leaned down to suck on her neck, bruising her with his mouth. She didn't care about the marks it would leave, his feral-ness was contagious. She gasped and moaned and tried to buck her hips to meet his thrusts, just as impatient as he was.

Levi stopped her and pulled out. Before she even had a chance to whine and beg him not to tease her, he got onto the bed, turning her over onto her stomach and pulling her up by her waist so that she was bent over on her hands and knees. He grabbed her hips and plunged roughly inside her again, getting much deeper than before. Erna cried out and grunted, feeling like she didn't have any more room for him inside her. He pounded into her without any restraint, her arms couldn't support her and she fell into the soft, clean sheets, her face turned to the side. He pushed into her, hooking an arm around her waist to hold her hips up, he reached forward with one hand and pressed her face down against the bed. His thumb pressed into her cheek, too close to her mouth, she bit down on it hard. There was no thought of hurting him, it was just something she was driven to do instinctually. He didn't try to pull his hand away, he let her clamp her teeth on his thumb and he grunted, plowing into her harder and harder until she felt his cock twitch inside her. He pulled out, ripped his thumb from her teeth, and pulled her up by her hair, twisting her around and forcing her mouth down onto his cock, grinding his pelvis against her nose and burying himself in her throat as he came.

When he was completely drained, he let go of her head and she popped up. He put his arm around her shoulders and pushed her down to lie on her back. He lay on his side, next to her, and held her tightly as he caught his breath in ragged gasps. When Erna's capacity for thought returned, she got out between breaths, "What… the fuck… was that?"

He pulled her closer and, back to normal, stated in his emotionless voice, "I thought you were dead."

She didn't understand. "I'm obviously not."

"Idiot girl… When you broke formation... No one knew where you were for nearly an hour."

She was offended, she felt he underestimated her. "I was doing my job. I'm not reckless. Don't worry about me out there."

"If it appears that you're dead, I'm going to go ahead and worry about you or mourn you, whatever the situation dictates."

Erna didn't like the thought of it. Not the being dead part, that was something she was used to thinking about, but she didn't like the thought of him mourning over her or worrying about her, or worst of all, getting killed because of her. "… Don't try to save me."

"Stupid girl, I already told you I wouldn't. How I feel about you doesn't effect my decisions." He twirled one of her curls around a finger, "I wouldn't send anyone after you if you didn't come back. If there were something you couldn't deal with then it would be a suicide mission for anyone else."

That made her feel better. She teased him, "I'm going to outlive you, old man."

"I'm counting on it. Go to sleep."

* * *

**(A/N) If you are an American Literature nerd like me then you may appreciate that Erna's little dialogue to her horse as she's running is based on the way the character Stubb of Moby Dick, would talk to his boat-rowers to encourage them to row faster. Moby Dick and Attack on Titan are alike in a lot of ways. Moby Dick was inspired by what happened to a boat called The Essex, and that story involves a lot of cannibalism after a whale destroys the boat and the crew is lost at sea for upwards of 90 days. Whales are giant, titans are giant. They both roam freely about two thirds of the earth where only eccentric characters dare to risk death to try and kill them. The 3DMG functions very much like a harpoon. Commander Erwin would absolutely be Captain Ahab; they are both fucking crazy and obsessed and view people only as tools to help them in their mission. Only Erwin is missing an arm instead of a leg. But how awesome would it be if Erwin had a fucking peg leg? Pretty awesome in my opinion. Levi would be Starbuck to Erwin's Ahab, for so many reasons. I can't list all of the similarities without spoiling Moby Dick, which I am certain you are going to go read now. Mikasa would be Queequeg because they are both exotic and inscrutable and incredibly strong and skilled at killing giant monster things. Eren would be Ishmael because they are both boring main characters who I am not super fond of.**

**"Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee." - Herman Melville, "Moby Dick"**

**Come on, that is so Attack on Titan.**

**Thank you for reading. I totally love you.**


	13. Dust

**(Long-ass A/N)**

**I wanted some Krista love. I felt bad for not letting her have a Ymir. When I started this AU my only rules were that I wouldn't use anyone who, according to the manga, wouldn't be in the Survey Corps this far in the future, but I also wouldn't reference anything that happened in the manga. *waves fingers* It's all as if none of it ever happened. So, ya know, Erwin has both of his arms, Krista is just plain old Krista, not Historia Reiss, etc.**

**Anyway, that is why there is no Reiner, Bertholdt, Ymir, or Mike. The first three I don't really miss. But Mike… I don't know if I want my characters to live in a world without Mike. Fuck, man, I mean, I don't even want to live in a world without Mike. And it's _my_ AU with _my_ arbitrarily imposed rules, so I may throw him in there. Though I will need to come up with some explanation as to where he's been this whole time. So maybe that happens in this chapter! Who knows? I certainly don't.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan or its characters.**  
**Trigger warning: For the mere off-handed mention of rape in conversation towards the end of this chapter. There is no non-con in this chapter. There will probably never be any in future chapters. But, hey, trigger warning for the sake of caution.**

* * *

Erna stood outside Krista's door, leaned against the wall, waiting for what felt like an hour, but given the distortion of time when one is feeling impatient, it was probably five minutes. She sighed to herself, blew a curl away from her eyes. Krista finally opened the door, surprised to see her there, but happy as always.

"Good morning," she said sweetly.

"Morning… I thought I would walk with you to breakfast… thank you for covering for me."

"That's sweet of you, but no thanks necessary. I don't mind." Krista started to close the door behind her, stepping out into the corridor.

"Wait… um, actually…" Erna stammered. This was very hard for her. She folded the collar of her jacket down, exposing a dark hickey on the side of her neck, "I had another motive. Do you have a scarf or something I can borrow?" Krista just smiled and opened the door, following Erna back into the room. When Krista closed the door, Erna apologized, "You don't have to cover for me or help me if it's any trouble. I don't want to put you out or make things awkward for you," by which she meant _I don't want to owe you anything._

"Not at all… I don't have any scarves… Hold on…" She opened a dresser drawer. Erna sat in a chair in front of a vanity table. She tilted her head to look at the bruise in the mirror. _Nope._ There was no way it was not noticeable.

Krista took out a shirt and held it up. It was a white turtleneck with three-quarter length sleeves. Erna looked at the shirt, then at Krista, "Thanks, but you're a little smaller than me. I don't want to stretch it out. It's okay, I can try to hide it with my collar."

"You won't stretch it out, just take it, don't worry about returning it."

Erna took the shirt from Krista, in awe of her generosity, "You're not going to ask me how I got the hickey?"

"You can tell me if you want to, but I don't need to know."

Erna took off her jacket and unbuttoned her shirt. _And _I'm _the one who gets picked on for being strange… _she thought. She took off her shirt, hung it on the chair, and pulled the turtleneck over her head.

Krista clapped her hands, "You look beautiful!"

_I could give a fuck about beautiful… _Erna thought as she checked herself in the mirror. _Does it cover the bruise?_ It did. However, it was tight and showed a thin line of her midriff. "You don't think this is too obvious?"

"It's better than nothing, right?"

"It's surreal how sweet you are. Thank you." Erna put her jacket back on. Krista smiled and hugged her tightly. Erna paused, awkwardly, waiting for the hug to be over, "You're not going to cry, are you?"

Krista released her. "No… Why would I?"

"No reason." Erna offered her arm in mock gallant chivalry, "My lady, shall we?"

Krista giggled and took Erna's arm.

* * *

Krista and Erna got to the kitchen first, getting food and coffee, and going out to the dining hall.

After sitting down, Erna put her head in her hands and lazily blew the steam away from her coffee. Krista observed her, then said with her voice full of sweet concern, "You look so tired. How did you sleep?"

"In a bed," Erna replied, being a cranky smartass. Then she remembered who she was talking to. She didn't turn to look at Krista, knowing that if she did the look on her face would make Erna feel like she had just kicked an adorable kitten. "I'm sorry. I'm just being defensive. I felt like you were trying to figure out where I'm sleeping, but you already said you don't care."

"I _do _care. I just don't need you to tell me if you don't want to. There's a difference." Krista took Erna's hand and gave it a squeeze.

Erna took her hand back, "You are so sweet that it makes me feel bad. You make me feel like a hideous, fire-breathing monster. You show me a lot more kindness than I deserve, you know?"

Krista just smiled, "You don't mean that."

Erna changed the subject to answer Krista's earlier question, "I woke up too early. I was worried about Raven, even though I shouldn't be because she's fine. And… I don't know… I was thinking about what would happen to you guys if I weren't here." She didn't know why she was being so open. It was strange for her to hear the slight sadness in her own voice. She didn't think she felt sad. Just anxious and worried about things she couldn't control. She was experiencing some existential anxiety, which seemed stupid to her. _Nothing is less useful than worrying about what will happen to the living after you're dead._

Krista seemed to seriously think about this for a moment. "Sasha would be sad to not have someone to pick on anymore."

"… Did you just make a joke?"

Krista smiled.

Erna's face turned serious and annoyed, "I don't get you." She sipped at her coffee.

Mikasa came and sat down with them and Erna asked her right away, "Mikasa, do you have any scarves other than that one?"

"No. Only this one." Mikasa smiled, seeming lost in nostalgia. Erna knew better than to ask if she could borrow it. She didn't know what the deal with that scarf was, but clearly it carried an intense amount of sentimental value.

Erna laid her head on her arm, puzzling over how she could hide her hickey for however long it would take to fade. Levi had sarcastically offered her one of his cravats when she complained about it… Which would mark her more as his? The hickey? Or the cravat? She couldn't think of any way to hide it, so she started trying to think of a believable lie about how it got there. She sat silently lost in thought as the dining hall slowly began filling up and the rest of the squad trickled in, complaining about not having the day off after the busy day yesterday. Eventually Erna picked her head up and looked around, "Where are Sasha and Connie?"

"Late, I guess," Eren shrugged.

"But why are they _both _late?" Erna was sure that they were in utterly gross puppy love and she was not going to let it go until she could prove it. If she could, then she would have something to fight back against the constant teasing with.

"Probably just the usual, pranking someone, stealing food, it's what they do." Eren knew what Erna was getting at. "You haven't known them as long as we have. They're just best friends."

"Just because they're friends doesn't mean they can't become something more…" Armin responded shyly but very sincerely, like what he was saying meant more than just what they were talking about.

Eren was about to disagree and he turned to Armin, but he stopped when he saw Sasha and Connie walk over together… holding hands.

Erna shot up from her chair and shouted, pointing at them, "I knew it! You two are in gross, stupid love!"

"Not denying it." Connie held up Sasha's hand and kissed it. She blushed and then leaned down to kiss the top of his head. They sat down looking serene and happy. Everyone was shocked, but not shocked. It made sense, but none of them thought it would ever happen. Except Erna, but she hadn't had the bias that came from watching them be best friends for almost eight years.

Connie handed Sasha a roll and she kissed him, very sweetly and lovingly, they were lost in it as if the world didn't exist for a few seconds before Erna interrupted, "That is disgusting… and very disappointing… It's no fun to tease you about it if you're just going to admit to it and shove it in our faces." She sulked.

Eren finally recovered enough from the shock to speak, "But… you guys are _best _friends."

Sasha enthusiastically mumbled something that was unintelligible with the roll in her mouth. Connie translated, "She says we're still best friends."

"Stop it. Oh my god. Love is gross." Erna scowled.

Sasha looked to Erna and her eyes went wide. She quickly finished chewing the roll to yell, "Erna! You have a hickey!"

Erna was sure Sasha couldn't see it, so she tried to play dumb, "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

"Why are you wearing a turtleneck?!"

"None of my shirts were clean! I had to borrow one of Krista's! I'm not hiding anything, you crazy woman!"

"Prove it!" Sasha leapt up from her chair and over the table, making a grab for the neck of Erna's shirt, but Erna grabbed her wrists and grappled with her until she had Sasha on her knees.

"I will end you," Erna growled.

Sasha winced, struggling to get free of the hold, "That just… proves it!"

Jean smiled, "Sasha's instincts are never wrong."

Erna let go of Sasha's wrists and glared at Jean, trying to kill him with her eyes until Sasha, hands now free, pulled her into a very melodramatic hug, "My poor, sweet Erna! Who defiled you?" She grabbed a roll. "Where did he touch you? Show me on the doll!"

Erna looked at Sasha very seriously and said in a perfect deadpan, "… That's a roll."

"For our purposes, pretend it's a doll."

"Where even would its face be?!"

"It's right there!" Sasha pointed at an arbitrary spot on the roll. But then, not being able to resist holding food without putting it in her mouth, she bit the face off and ate it.

Connie laughed, and flashed a sly smile, "Just show us your neck and prove her wrong."

Erna crossed her arms and stood up, "I don't have to prove anything. I'm going to check on my horse. And next time we go on reconnaissance I'm letting you two get eaten and I won't have to put up with this bullshit ever again." She walked away, adding with a yell over her shoulder, "I hate your love!"

...

* * *

Erna stood, arms crossed, next to a veterinary officer in front of Raven's stall. They watched her as she flared her nostrils, pinning her ears back, and bucking in place.

"So how long?" Erna asked.

"There's no infection, the gauze will keep it clean, but we'll need to keep her on stall rest for at least twenty-four hours just to be sure she won't strain herself and tear the cut further. After that it should be sufficiently healed up for her to graze with the herd and do light work." He paused and then answered before Erna could ask, "I wouldn't recommend using her for any missions for at least a week and a half. Two weeks would be better." Raven kicked a wall of the stall hard enough to make the barn shake and dust fall from the rafters. "Though the stall rest seems to agitate her," the vet added.

"No, that's normal," Erna sighed. A trainee came over with buckets of fresh water and reached to open the stall door. She gave him an emotionless warning, "If you're going in there, bring a pitchfork."

The trainee looked confused, "What for?"

Erna started walking away, "Protect yourself." Another kick shook the barn.

* * *

Erna walked into Levi's office without knocking. He looked up from his desk only briefly, noticing her new turtleneck, "Clever. Are you that ashamed of it?" He didn't sound hurt, just mildly curious.

"It's not that…" She paused, debating whether or not to go on, "It's just the rest of the squad picks on me enough as it is. I don't want to give them one more thing to tease me about."

He didn't lift his eyes from his paperwork and didn't say anything for a while, so Erna went over to the window, watching the sky outside. Finally he said, "You're not training," more as an observation than as a question.

"Everyone's slacking off without you down there. They figure they earned the rest. It's no fun training with people whose heads aren't in it…" She turned around, leaning on the windowsill and looking at the back of his chair. "Are you going to be in here all day?"

"Thanks to you." He didn't turn around or stop working. "Your little tantrum over your precious, bat-out-of-hell mare earned me a lecture from Erwin and a mountain of paperwork."

"I'm sorry," she said softly and solemnly.

"Are you?"

"Honestly," she took a moment to think, then said quietly, "No. If you had gone on with the mission, I would have taken her back here by myself."

"Erwin thinks that's out of character for you – caring about anything."

Erna's tone was still soft, she felt tired, "I've loved that horse since the moment she first kicked me… Same way I fell in love with you." She made a slight smile and walked around to the front of the desk, watching him work.

He still didn't look up from the papers, but he went on, "He said I'm ruining you, making you feel things. I told him he could have you for a night and rape the cold, dead look back into your eyes, break you in half. He told me not to be vile, but I think he considered it."

"… You know, when your voice and facial expression never change, it's hard for people to tell if you're joking."

Now Levi looked up at her, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands behind his head, "I'm serious in that I did in fact say that. But don't worry, I wouldn't let anyone touch you unless it was for my own amusement."

"… Again, hard to tell if you're kidding…"

"I know." He looked down and got back to his work. Erna melted to her knees next to his chair, leaning against it like a ragdoll. After she rested there for a few seconds, he said, "You don't have to stay in here."

"I like watching you do paperwork. It's soothing. I feel like I could fall asleep here on the floor."

"I'm glad _you_ enjoy it," he was being sarcastic. "I hate it, but you cause me to need to do a lot of it."

"Maybe that's why. You always look at least mildly displeased when you're doing paperwork. It's sexy. I like your scowl." Erna yawned. After a few minutes of silence, she heard the door handle turn. Her reaction was to quickly crawl under the desk and hide, thinking it was most likely someone from her squad and kneeling next to Levi's desk chair would not be the best look if she didn't want anyone to know about what she did with her private time. She heard the door open and close.

"No one ever knocks…"

"You never answer your door," a deep, husky voice answered back. It was vaguely recognizable, but Erna wasn't sure from where. She searched her memory, but didn't come up with anything. She didn't have a good memory for names, faces, people in general.

"How was your vacation?"

The other man scoffed. "If you call getting mangled by a titan and spending two months in a hospital, in an induced coma getting half your bones reset, a vacation, then it was nice," he said with only a hint of sarcasm. He sniffed the air, "Didn't break my nose." He sniffed again, "Where's the girl?"

"She's hiding under my desk for some reason." Levi gave Erna a soft kick. She came out from under the desk and stood up to see Mike Zacharias, who she had never met formally, but did know of. Everyone in the Survey Corps knew of the eccentric, but incredibly skilled Mike.

Erna extended her hand, feeling shy and awkward, and not knowing how he had known she was there without seeing her. "Erna Raban, nice to meet you."

Mike took her hand, but instead of shaking it, he pulled her towards him so that she bent over the desk, leaning down to sniff her hair just behind her ear and then released her. Erna straightened up, surprised and confused.

Mike looked at Levi, "Girlfriend?"

"No," Levi replied. Erna wasn't hurt or offended. She didn't see herself as a girlfriend either. She thought it was an awkward title. She felt secure enough without any kind of label. Levi went on, "More like a slave." Mike smirked.

Erna blushed. "I wouldn't say that."

"You belong to me. What else would you call it?"

Erna thought about it and then answered, "Well by that logic, you're my slave too." This made Mike chuckle.

Levi growled and pointed to the door to the apartment, "Go rest, grown-ups are talking."

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

* * *

Erna didn't argue, even though she hated when he implied that she was childish. A nap sounded lovely. All her thinking about life and death early in the morning had exhausted her mentally. She went to the living room, collapsed on the couch, hanging her boots over the edge and immediately fell into a dreamless sleep.

"Oi, slave." Levi woke Erna up, slapping her legs off from where they were hanging over the arm of the couch. "What did I say about the furniture?"

Erna sat up, feeling groggy, she yawned, "I don't remember there being any specific rules."

"You're only allowed on the bed, but now I'm reconsidering even that. Don't ever leave your fucking boots on in here again." Erna started to take her boots off. "Not now. You have to go see Erwin. Get up."

"What? Why?" Erna would be lying if she tried to pretend that there wasn't at least a little worry in the back of her mind about what Levi had said earlier.

"You're not the only one. Now that Mike's back, everyone's getting shuffled around. They're doing evaluations to see if anyone can or should be reassigned. Which is good, I have too many brats to babysit."

"What happens if I get assigned to another squad?" Erna pouted. She didn't think it would kill her, but she still hated the idea.

"Obviously I'll stop loving you and kick you out of here." He watched her smooth out the wrinkles in her clothes. He added, more sincerely, "They shouldn't move you. If anyone should be on my squad it's you. You're a good fighter." He moved closer to her. He loved the tight, midriff-baring turtleneck on her. It made up for the fact that she was trying to cover up his mark. "And you're an okay fuck-toy. At least I'm not bored with you _yet_," he teased her, running his fingers lightly over the exposed skin of her stomach. "But you're in trouble for putting your boots on my couch."

Erna moaned at the evil promise of his voice. It was like a switch that turned her brain to think only of awful things she wanted him to do to her. She reached up and weaved her fingers through his hair, closing the small space between them to nuzzle his collar and lick and kiss at his jawline, until he put his hands on her shoulders and held her away, "Focus."

Erna whimpered, "Well don't say things like that if you want me to focus."

"I told Erwin I only need to keep you, Mikasa, and Jean. Eren is a given. But he's going to look for any excuse to move you to Mike's squad, since Hange doesn't want you. He's worried that you'll compromise my decision-making and he doesn't like that you're acting a little more like a normal human lately." He paused, looking into her eyes, "But I think he's overreacting. You're still very far away from normal."

Erna put her serious, emotionless face on and saluted. "Hai, Captain Levi."

"That's better."

* * *

Erna had been in Erwin's office for at least ten minutes. She wondered if he purposely picked out the chair she was sitting in to be extra uncomfortable, but she didn't move. She wondered if anyone else's evaluations had been this long, or this intense. He had started right off asking very specific, bordering on personal questions. Answering them wasn't the hard part. The hard part was maintaining eye contact.

"How well are you getting along with your squad?"

"They're familiar… Warm… They don't get in the way, but I don't feel too attached to any of them." She answered everything honestly. She had a very strong feeling that he didn't care about what she said so much as how she said it.

"And how do you feel about Levi?"

She didn't hesitate and she didn't look away, even though she wanted to. More than Levi's ever could, Erwin's eyes made her feel unsafe on a visceral level. Right now he looked like he would have no problem with cutting her apart and examining her like one of Hange's experiments. She said very seriously, "I love him."

He seemed unsurprised. His face showed no changes. "How would you feel if I moved you to a different squad?"

"It would make no difference. I would work the same way."

"You don't feel you need to stay close to protect him?"

He was asking her a serious question, but she couldn't help but laugh. That seemed to throw him off. She composed herself again, "What? Like Mikasa and Eren? No. I don't think I can protect him from anything."

"So your relationship doesn't effect the way you think on missions?"

She became very serious again, "… I don't think on missions… Not the way other people do."

"What is it like for you?"

"I don't think of Levi… I don't think of myself… I only think of my orders, but even that isn't really a conscious thought. Whatever directives I have stay somewhere in the back of my head. I'm not making conscious decisions out there." Her voice was flat, calm. She was being as accurate about it as she could.

"How can you act if you don't think?"

Erna thought for a few seconds about how to put it into words. Then she asked him, "You've seen dust moving in the sunlight?" He nodded. "It's like being dust. I don't think. I'm just there. My actions aren't dictated by decisions, I can only float and change course according to how the air moves."

Erwin didn't ask her anything new right away. He just watched her in silence. She didn't move. He yawned. Erna stifled the natural urge to yawn herself. He was testing her empathy…

* * *

**(Long-ass A/N) So that worked out well, I think. Sorry for the lack of smut. I thought about writing an Erwin x Erna x Levi scene, but I restrained myself because it seemed too OOC. I have a thing for Erwin though. He appeals to my inner troubled girl with daddy issues. Anyway, I had to get Mike back, there was no time for smut. AND that gave me a good excuse to address an area where I was having trouble continuing my suspension of disbelief: Krista and Armin shouldn't be in Levi's squad. So much insight into my brain processes in these author notes! Here's some more!**

**Areas where I cannot bring myself to suspend disbelief for my AU:**  
**1) Electricity. They don't have it. No light-switches. Candles & torches only.**  
**2) Condoms. Nope. I'm not buying it. These people don't even have electricity.**  
**3) Food. I think about it a lot. Meat is rare (pun unintentional), which I take to mean there is also less dairy and less fertilizer, right? Which means only easy-to-grow things like grains and root vegetables. Have you noticed that Erna never feeds her horse an apple?**

**Areas where I can bring myself to suspend disbelief for my AU:**  
**1) Showers and indoor plumbing in general. Why the fuck not? Everyone else does it.**  
**2) Booze. If you follow my logic about the food, they would probably only be drinking vodka or whiskey, and beer. But… I dunno… I feel strongly that people need a glass of wine once in a while.**  
**3) Sasha. To some she may seem OOC, but I am imagining a Sasha who has survived in the Survey Corps for like at least six years. She's got to have some more confidence and swagger, but still be very silly.**

**I will try to make the next chapter nothing but smut. Thank you for reading. I love you.**


	14. Preferences

**(A/N) This chapter feels a little cobbled together because I am purposely trying to not advance the plot while I decide what to do with Erna. Keep her in Squad Levi? Move to Squad Mike? Traumatize her in some way? Let her be happy and continue onward toward full-fledged personhood or whatever? If you have any kind of opinions or ideas, pm me because I am very much undecided.**  
**I've had this little shibari one-shot in my head for a minute, so that's thrown in there. Then I'm like, Jearmin – why not? They're cute. Then I'm all "Flashback, flashback, flashback." All for the sake of getting stuff out of my head and writing a chapter while I figure out plot point details. Yeah, I could just take a day or two to think and not write compulsively, but that is no fun.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan or its characters. I do own my OC, Erna Raban. You do not want her. She comes with very complicated care instructions. Hand wash, cold water only, etc.**

* * *

She stood naked on the cold stone floor. He moved around her quickly, easily, but not in a hurry. He stood behind her, pulled her arms back until her shoulder blades were almost touching, tied them together at her elbows with a soft rope, tightly coiling it down her lower arms, making another knot around her wrists. Slowly. Methodically.

"So gentle…" she murmured quietly as if she were talking to herself.

"Only for now." He gave the rope a hard tug, tightening the knot, and kissing the back of her neck. It gave her chills. It was so abnormal for him to be sweet or gentle that it felt sinister. It made her feel uneasy like the calm before a storm. He gave her a gentle push down and she got to her knees.

He took the loose ends of the rope from the knot at her wrists and wrapped them around her ankles, pulling slowly until her wrists and ankles were only a few inches from each other. Her back arched beautifully, artfully. He knotted the rope tightly, stood up, and admired his work. He moved and stood in front of her again. He pushed her knees apart with the toe of his boot, making her spread her thighs and get lower to the ground. He watched her slowly wet her lips with her tongue, watched her breasts rise and fall with her breathing, but that was as much as she was going to be able to move.

He loosened his cravat, "You get one request before I start," and removed it. He moved and stood behind her again. "After that, I'm not granting requests or listening to begging or pleading." He reached around and draped the cravat over her eyes, pulling it and tying it tightly at the back of her head, quick, deft fingers careful not to catch any of her silky, black curls in the knot. "Any want, I'll fulfill, but only one, so think carefully." He stood in front of her. She bit her lower lip, a sign that she was in deep thought. He left the room to give her some time.

She tried to flex her arms, but the rope was too tight. Nothing hurt yet, the rope was soft, but the position would start to hurt soon. She didn't really need to think about her request, she knew what she wanted the second he said it.

He came back fifteen minutes later, "Did you decide?"

"Yes."

"I can't wait to hear it," he sounded sadistic and cold. Like he knew that nothing she could request would alter the plans he had for her, but he wanted to give her this hope so that he could crush it. But she had no desire to get out of or alter the situation.

"Say my name."

He paused. That was the last thing he expected. "Slave." He had an evil smirk that she couldn't see.

"No, my real name."

Perfect silence for a few moments, then, "… You could have had anything."

"I like the way you say it. You're the only one who says it right," she pleaded.

"Which way is right?" He knew, but he wanted to make her beg more.

"However you say it."

He knew what she was talking about. He preferred to say her name, when he actually used it, with a slight French accent. A dead language. She didn't know that. She only knew it sounded different to her. He took a cloth from his pocket. "Erna… you really wasted that opportunity… Now open your mouth." She parted her lips slightly and he forced the gag into her mouth until she bit down. He tied it around the back of her head.

He stepped back. "You know I might never untie you? You're too beautiful like this. So vulnerable, so objectified… So quiet for once. You're like a marble statue." He brought a finger to her jaw and tilted her chin up. "I should really get someone to come and admire my work."

* * *

Mikasa and Armin sat outside on the grass after dinner. Armin was taking advantage of the full moonlight to study a book he had found about navigating by star formations. He tried to get Mikasa interested, but learning didn't excite her the way it did Armin.

"Mikasa, don't think you have to stay out here with me." When it came to Mikasa and Eren especially, Armin's go-to feeling was guilt over any slight possibility of being a burden.

"I want to," she said at her usual soft volume.

"But you don't seem very interested –," Armin felt badly, like he was boring her, but Mikasa interrupted him to say, "I just wanted to spend time with you. I don't care what we do."

"Mikasa…" Armin was touched. He was always a little surprised at how Mikasa and Eren cared for him. They thought of him more highly than he did of himself.

"Do you think you'll be reassigned?" Mikasa asked calmly.

They had all sat through evaluations with Erwin earlier. Some were shorter, some were longer. Mikasa's had been very short, not even two minutes. Armin thought it had probably only been a formality. Eren could only be on Levi's squad and Erwin wouldn't try to separate Mikasa and Eren. She wasn't worried about that. Armin's evaluation, however, had been at least a twenty minute long interview. Erwin spent the whole time picking his brain about tactics, strategies, and his thoughts on the titans' behavior and patterns. Armin was sure he would be reassigned, either to Hange or Mike, based on the line of questioning. "Is that why you wanted to hang out?" he asked her. If he weren't so smart and didn't know her so well, he wouldn't have been able to tell that Mikasa was worried. She showed no sign of it. But she was smart too. She had to know that Armin would be moved to another squad.

"I just don't want to see less of you." She leaned back and looked at the stars, "Or not be there to protect you."

He couldn't really offer her any comfort on this point. They would have to be apart and that was just the way it was. He couldn't honestly tell her that he didn't need her to protect him, because his intellect wouldn't let him fool himself into thinking that he was physically capable of protecting himself. He couldn't tell her it would be okay. "Let's go inside, it's late."

"I'll walk you back to your room."

Mikasa and Armin walked in silence for a little while. When Armin stopped at the door, Mikasa asked, "How are you two anyway?" referring to Jean and Armin and the whole roommate situation.

"Oh, um, fine, it's great." Armin sounded nervous. He cursed himself for not being able to act cooler when he was nervous. He was terrible at hiding things. Mikasa picked up on it right away.

"Is he being a jerk? You can stay in our room. I can sleep on the floor -," Mikasa immediately overreacted and got overprotective.

Armin had to stop her, "No, it's nothing like that. He's a great roommate. We get along really well." Mikasa eyed him suspiciously, convinced he wasn't telling the truth. "I know you and Eren aren't his biggest fans, but trust me," he smiled and put his hands on her shoulders, "I would tell you if things weren't great."

Mikasa was clearly still suspicious, but she was satisfied for now, "Okay…" As she walked away to go to her own room, she added, "But if he hurts you, I'll kill him." She was not joking.

Armin waited for her to be out of sight before opening the door. Jean was laying on the bed in his boxers. He immediately leapt up and came over to Armin as he shut the door behind him. Jean took the book from Armin's hand and placed it on the side-table near the door, quickly turning his attention back to now hands-free-Armin. "How could you keep me waiting?" He teased Armin, asking as if he had been out long on purpose to be cruel. Jean pressed him against the wall and kissed him while he let his hands roam over his body.

Armin draped his arms over Jean's neck, moaning as he leaned down to place soft kisses all over the blonde's neck and collarbone. He answered him, "Mikasa wanted to talk."

Jean seemed to ignore his reason. He grabbed Armin's ass, lifting him up. Armin wrapped his legs around Jean and let himself be carried to the bed. He wanted to be lost in Jean and be completely in the moment, but he couldn't stop thinking. His thoughts were too much of a distraction and he had to get them out if he was going to really enjoy this. As Jean started taking off his 3DMG straps, dropping them to the floor at the side of the bed, Armin asked, "How was your evaluation?"

"I'll tell you later," Jean didn't want to be distracted or slowed down. He was almost finished unbuttoning Armin's shirt.

"Do you think we'll be moved to different squads?"

Jean sighed, frustrated, "Can we not right now?" He pulled off Armin's shirt and reached for his belt, tugging him closer, kissing his chest as he unbuckled and removed it.

"I'm just a little worried…" Armin said as Jean unbuttoned his pants and quickly, smoothly pulled them off, "About being separated from you guys."

Jean stopped. "Why?" He seemed like he truly didn't understand what the big deal was.

Armin asked softly, "Aren't you worried about what will happen if you or Mikasa or Eren aren't there to protect me?"

"Oh, hell no." Jean said this as if that settled the issue and he pulled off his boxers to continue where he'd stopped.

Armin's eyes widened as he asked, "Why not?" He was hurt. He took it to mean that Jean didn't care. For a moment he wondered if he had been wrong thinking that what was between them wasn't only physical.

Jean stopped again, seeing that Armin completely misunderstood him. He checked his libido for a minute to be able to look into Armin's eyes and say very sincerely, "Because you're smarter than all of us. I know you don't think so, but out of any of us, you have the best chance of surviving on your own. Fighting skill only goes so far until something unexpected happens and you don't have the intelligence to change strategies or improvise and just like that you're dead."

Armin didn't say anything. He realized he had severely underestimated himself once again. He put his arms around Jean's neck and pulled him down into a deep kiss.

* * *

Erna lay at the foot of the bed. It was a compromise. Levi had wanted her to sleep on the floor as punishment for putting her boots on the furniture. He thought she was getting too complacent, too comfortable. He wanted to put more restrictions on her. Secretly, she was glad. She wanted more rules. She wanted him to have more power over her. Otherwise she was just a plain old live-in girlfriend and what fun was that? She didn't ever want their relationship to be "normal."

She thought that Levi's urge to get stricter with her could also be a reaction to the threat of her reassignment. Her evaluation had gone on for nearly an hour, which didn't seem to be the norm. Erwin didn't give her any hints as to her fate. They wouldn't know for a day or two, maybe longer. She tried to remember every detail of the interview.

_/Flashback./_

_Erwin: "How do you think you've changed?"  
Erna: "… I… feel a wider range of emotions in general. I notice things that I didn't before. Like the difference between a comfortable chair and an uncomfortable one. I can understand why people have preferences about things, attachments to people or certain objects that remind them of people, stuff like that."  
Erwin: "Do you think that effects your performance?"  
Erna: "My performance hasn't changed. So, no."_

It had been like a therapy session, Erna thought. Except Erwin was a terrible therapist.

_/Flashback./_

_Erwin: "Why do you think you're in love with Levi?"  
Erna: "… Because he likes to hurt me."  
Erwin: "You enjoy pain?"  
Erna: "No. I enjoy that he likes to hurt me."_

She rubbed her wrists. They were bruised from the ropes. She had struggled a little too much.

_/Flashback./_

_Erna: "I'm sorry I can't be like you."  
Erwin: "In what way?"  
Erna: "You're disappointed because you thought I was more like you before. But you compartmentalize and ignore your feelings. I just never had any. It's different, but outwardly it looks the same."  
Erwin: "You don't think you can compartmentalize?"  
Erna: "I don't know… I'm new at this."_

Erna couldn't tell if she would be reassigned, but she knew Levi was right – she shouldn't be.

* * *

**(A/N) You may have noticed that the chapters have titles now. While I was going through a little fight with writer's block, I re-read everything and came up with chapter titles. I also mourned the loss of cold, mechanical, emotionless, Chapter 1 Erna. She was fun. I hate for people to have feelings. Everyone should be dead inside. It's much sexier.**


	15. Blind Spots

**(A/N) Ok. We're all sorted here.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan or its characters. I do own my OC, Erna Raban, and anything that comes out of my imagination, which is dark and fucked up, but nonetheless I own it.**

**Trigger Warning: None. Unless, ya know, S&M kink stuff bothers you. In which case, what the fuck are you doing here? Run away.**

* * *

_8:00am Erwin's Office_

Hange slapped a piece of paper down on Erwin's desk, "I want the boy! Give me the boy!" it was the new squad roster she had received just that morning.

"I assume you mean Armin," Erwin was unfazed by Hange's maniacal outburst.

"I'm keeping Armin," Mike stated calmly.

"I _need_ him!" Hange yelled.

Erwin turned to Levi. "And what are your objections?" As if he didn't know.

Levi held his hand up, "I'll tell you when they're finished. This is entertaining." He looked and sounded bored as always.

Hange reached up to grab Mike's collar and attempted to shake him, but he was too solid. It was like trying to shake a tree trunk. "I NEED HIS BRAIN! GIVE HIM TO ME!" she screamed. Mike just looked at her, his calm expression never changing.

"Hange, I'm decided on Armin. I know you can use his intellect, but he'll be more useful as a tactician than as a scientist." He slid the roster back over the desk to her. "Do you have any other complaints for the record?"

Hange groaned, "Noooo…" her shoulders slumped.

Erwin turned to Levi again. "I'm not letting you keep your girlfriend in your squad. How you would even think that would be okay is beyond me," he warned him, anticipating what he was there for. Hange perked up again, suddenly very curious.

"I told you I needed to keep Jean." Levi deadpanned.

"That's what this is about?" Erwin was definitely surprised.

Mike interrupted, "I want to keep Jean. You can give Erna to Levi or Hange."

"I don't want her anymore. She said all titans were the same." Hange pouted. She was still hurt over that.

"Keep her," Levi said to Mike. Then he turned to Erwin, "You're just pissed off because you think I ruined your efficient little pawn completely free of inconvenient thoughts and feelings. Put her wherever you want, you're only shooting yourself in the foot."

Erwin rubbed the bridge of his nose, "No, Levi, I'm pissed off because you won't acknowledge that having an affair with someone under you is going to effect your decision-making in a way that's detrimental to your squad's survival. You're going to get yourself killed or you're going to get her killed and I need both of you."

Mike dropped a file on Erwin's desk. It was Erna Raban's. "I looked through her file. I can't use her. I train talented thinkers – future squad leaders, not naturally talented killers. You're wasting her on my squad."

Erwin gave Levi a cold look, "She can be taught to feel, maybe she can be taught to think."

"You really think that gets to me, don't you? Put her in whatever squad you want. She'll kill titans the same way," Levi put his hands on Erwin's desk and leaned forward to really drive his point home, "and she'll still crawl to my bed to get _fucked_ into oblivion every night."

"WHAT?!" Hange shrieked.

Erwin's face tightened up with rage, but his voice was calm, "My decisions are final. All changes are to be made TODAY."

* * *

_7:00am Dining Hall_

"Okay, let's see it." Sasha locked her eyes on Erna the second she sat down.

Erna couldn't bring herself to wear the same turtleneck the fourth morning in a row and she could think of no other recourse. Still, at breakfast she covered her neck with her hand, just on the off chance that Sasha would forget it and leave her alone. No such luck. Erna put her hand down on the table.

"You _do_ have a hickey!" Sasha was triumphant. It had been days, but the bruise was still dark and very visible.

"I do…" Erna had already made peace with the fact that it was going to be impossible to hide.

"How'd you get it? Tell me! Who was it?" Sasha was so excited.

"Oh, I'm not telling you. But you were right, so, good job." Erna watched the disappointment and frustration overtake Sasha's face.

Sasha leaned over the table and sounded serious for the first time, "Even if I have to torture and question every person here, I will find out who you are making out with."

Erna sipped her coffee, then said, "Mikasa knows. You could start with trying to torture her, but I wouldn't recommend it."

"Oh come on. That makes it so much worse that someone else knows and I don't!" Sasha whined.

"I know." Erna smiled. She was beginning to enjoy pushing Sasha's buttons as much as Sasha liked to push hers.

Connie, who had been listening to the whole thing, leaned over the table. "Is it really that bad?" he stage-whispered conspiratorially, "Is it a rookie?"

"I'm not dumb. You're just trying to get me to narrow down the field to make it easier for you to guess." Erna replied.

"Oh yeah, I didn't even think of that." Connie smiled and brought his hand to the back of his neck.

"What if we play twenty-questions?" Sasha offered.

"No." Erna deadpanned and took another sip of her coffee.

Sasha was undeterred, "Is he shorter than you?"

This Erna actually felt she could answer because it was astoundingly obvious, "Look around, Sasha. Is anyone shorter than me? I mean, besides Krista? Even Connie's a little taller than me."

Connie considered her answer, "So it's Krista?" He brought his thumb and forefinger to his chin, deep in thought, "That makes sense."

Erna stood up. "Yes, it's Krista. You got it," she said, dripping with sarcasm. She took her mug and walked away.

Sasha scowled at Connie. His eyes were glazed over and he didn't notice her glaring. She lightly smacked him upside the head, "Stop thinking about it, you pervert!"

Connie put a finger to Sasha's lips, "Shush, let me have this."

...

* * *

The squad waited in the courtyard. It was after breakfast, but a lot of people weren't training. Their squad leaders were missing. Erna thought she knew why. Levi had received an envelope early while she was getting ready. He wouldn't let her see what was inside or tell her anything about it. It could only be the new squad roster. If Levi wasn't the only one missing, then he probably wasn't the only one who was unhappy with it.

Erna sat in the grass next to Krista. She looked up at the sky. It was sunny and beautiful. There was a peacefulness to the atmosphere. She didn't particularly feel anything about being reassigned. So long as she was allowed to fight or train during the day and go back to Levi at night, she would be happy enough. Krista interrupted her reverie. She held out a handful of wildflowers, "I can teach you how to make a daisy chain, if you want."

Erna smiled. "Sure." She found it impossible to say no to the girl. She didn't know exactly why. She figured it was the same sort of deep-seated, natural instinct to protect weaker things that kept people from shaking babies when they cried. But before Krista could begin showing her, Levi walked over. They all stood and saluted.

"Eren, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, come with me. The rest of you aren't my responsibility anymore."

"Um, Captain Levi…" Jean was confused. He had been fairly confident he would stay on the elite squad. But Levi didn't say anything. Instead, he shoved the lightly crumpled squad roster into Jean's chest and walked away as Jean scrambled to grab it before it floated to the ground. When he had it, he held it out in front of him. "Mike? That doesn't make any sense."

Armin took the paper from him, "It does if Erwin wants you to lead your own squad eventually…" he scanned it, finding his name and then adding, "At least we get to stay together," which made Jean smile.

Krista asked shyly, "What about me?"

Armin ran his finger down the list, "You're going with Nanaba."

Krista breathed deeply, brought her fist to her heart in a cute half-salute, "Okay! But I'll still see you guys at breakfast and dinner."

"Of course," Armin smiled. Krista ran off to join her new squad. He scanned the paper some more, but then felt staring eyes burning a hole in him, he looked over the paper to see Erna, arms crossed and giving him an impatient, annoyed look. "Oh, sorry, did you… um… want me to find your name?" He stammered out nervously.

"I assumed you would eventually."

"Um…" Armin looked over the roster. "You're with us… with Mike."

Erna snatched the paper from him, saying quietly to herself, "What the fuck?"

Jean was also surprised. "I agree. What the fuck? You would be a horrible leader and you're not smart enough to be a tactician. You're only good at fighting. You belong on the elite squad even more than I do."

Erna looked at the list in disbelief and nodded, "Normally I would punch you in your dumb face, but you're right." She handed the list back to him. Then Mike found them. They saluted and he motioned for them to be at ease.

Mike looked to Jean and Armin, "You two wait with the rest. I'll be right back." He looked down at Erna, "You come with me."

Erna had to walk quickly to keep up. Mike's stride was about three times the length of hers. He led her to an office, opening the door and letting her enter first. He sat at the desk and she took the chair across from him. He took a folder from a drawer and held it up, simply stating, "Your file says you're not a great thinker."

Erna nodded. "I can't even read a map."

"It's not difficult if you have any interest in learning…" Mike set the file down on the desk.

"I don't."

"You act on instinct." Mike understood her perfectly. "If that works for you, then I have no interest in teaching you to do anything else."

"It does."

Mike leaned back in his chair, stretching out his long legs. "Then what do I do with you?"

Erna looked past him out the window. She was quiet. Mike saw a sudden spark in her eyes before she said, "Let me train myself."

"What would you do?"

Her tone turned wistful, dreamy, "I want to go outside."

He knew what she meant. She wanted to leave headquarters, alone. "They're not going to lower the drawbridge to let just you and your horse outside." He thought she was overlooking the obvious.

"I want to work on fighting from the ground without the horse – without trees or buildings. I would rappel down the wall somewhere out of sight and come back before you finished training the rest of the squad." She thought she had a snowflake's chance in hell of getting his approval, but she didn't think it would hurt to at least try. He was laid back; the worst that would happen was he would say no.

Mike folded his hands behind his head, tilted his head back and thought. After a moment, he said, "That would be dangerous."

Erna replied quickly, "Not for me." The fact that he didn't just say no immediately gave her some hope.

He closed his eyes, thought for another moment, he sniffed the air, then he straightened up and looked her straight in the eye, making sure she understood him. "I'll give you permission to act at your own discretion. I won't know what you do with your time." She nodded and made a slight smile. He added, as a warning, "If you don't come back one day, I'll deny knowing of your whereabouts. No one will be sent to look for you. If you die, your body won't be recovered."

"I understand…" Erna would have come up with the same conditions if he hadn't first. "Thank you."

"It's your life. It should be in your own hands." He opened a desk drawer and brought out two glasses, putting one in front of her, "Don't get caught. Levi will kill me."

"Only after killing me."

Mike took a bottle of good whiskey from the drawer, took off the cap, and sniffed it. "For today, take the day off."

Mike poured her a small shot of whiskey into the glass in front of her and filled his own to the brim. Erna smiled, "I can see why Levi likes you. You don't talk too much." Mike smiled and nodded as if to further affirm what she just said. He held out his glass out and she mirrored him.

After they each drank their differently proportioned shots, Mike set his glass down and said, "He used to hate me and Erwin."

Erna's throat burned. She coughed out, "Why?" and put the empty glass on the desk, looking at it wide-eyed as if she had discovered that she just drank poison.

"We had to force him to join the Survey Corps…" Mike's lips formed a nostalgic smile.

Erna was instantly curious. "How did you do that?"

He didn't answer her. He wasn't going to tell her if Levi hadn't already. He held out the bottle, "Another?"

"No thanks." She held up her hands. "I didn't eat breakfast. I'm already spinning." Mike poured himself another giant shot and downed it. Erna was baffled, "Don't you have to work?"

He put the glasses and the bottle away. "It takes a lot more than that."

Erna shrugged, "I guess it would."

* * *

Erna rode Raven around the perimeter inside the walls between headquarters and the outside world. The cut in Raven's shoulder was healing quickly, but she still had to be kept to light work for now. Erna's arms strained to keep a tight enough rein to keep the horse at a trot.

She hadn't planned on getting any rides in for a few more days, but just walking around the inside of the wall to search for blind spots would look suspicious. People didn't tend to just go for casual strolls around the walls.

She stuck to one area - the part of the wall that was near-ish to the stables. There were other blind spots on the wall, where anyone on look-out duty wouldn't see her, but they weren't in places she could get to inconspicuously. If she found somewhere around there, she could go out under the guise of going to care for her horse and slip away. She found her spot, she thought; she circled and serpentined a little to check the angles and be sure. To anyone else it would have just looked like she was working on bending with her horse. Raven took the opportunity of Erna's distraction to throw a buck and when Erna lost her tight hold on the bit, she took a few galloping strides before Erna got her under control and slowed down again.

"You stupid horse," Erna straightened up her back, getting her balance back, "Why do you only want to run when I don't need you to?" She had gotten a good enough look, though, to be satisfied that she wouldn't be caught. As she rode back to the stables, the thought of not following through with going outside the wall never occurred to her. She wanted it too badly. She needed to get back to that place where there were no thoughts or feelings. Her former self wouldn't have cared so much. Her former self didn't need to be high on adrenaline to get a break from thinking or feeling. But now, it would keep her leveled out – less exhausted by all these things she wasn't used to processing. And there was that added benefit of killing titans. Every one she killed would probably equal two or three human lives saved. So, she thought, her plan wasn't completely selfish.

* * *

Levi sat at his desk, his eyes blurring at the print on a stack of papers. He wondered which would come first – would Erwin decide to stop being a vindictive asshole, or would the Survey Corps run out of paper and ink?

Erna came in without knocking, as usual. She stood in front of the desk. He didn't look up, didn't want to be distracted until he was done. Despite what Erwin thought, he really did put a lot of importance on keeping work and play separate. Before she could say anything, he pointed to the other door, "You smell like the stable. Go clean yourself up."

"How long -," she started to ask.

He cut her off, "I don't know how long I'll be." He put down his pen and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Don't ask questions, just do as you're told."

"Hai, Captain Levi!" she still saluted and bounced off the same as ever. He was glad that hadn't changed and that she didn't care about the difference between him actually taking anger out on her and him just hurting her for the fun of it. She liked it either way. And he had a lot of anger and frustration to get out.

He only turned to watch her close the door behind her. He looked back at the stack of papers, flipping through them. "Fucker," he muttered. He wasn't angry about Erna's reassignment. It didn't matter where Erwin placed her, Levi had her body and soul anyway. He was angry at Erwin's reason for doing so. "The arrogant prick." He'd insisted on placing her in the elite squad in the first place because Levi made sound decisions. Fucking the girl wouldn't change that. Levi was wholly convinced that no matter what Erwin said, it ate him up that Erna would no longer be as cold and thoughtless as he would prefer everyone in the Survey Corps be. More than anything, Erwin hated things that were out of his control. Levi had always known that about Erwin and it had never bothered him. It still didn't bother him. He could certainly understand the impulse. But despite being an insane control freak, Erwin had trusted him until now.

Erna came back after half an hour, fresh faced and with damp hair. She leaned over the desk. She smelled like his soap, too distracting. He told her, "No," before she even said anything.

"But… I… How do you even know what I was going to ask?"

"You can't stay in here and watch me work. I don't need the distraction." He didn't take his eyes away from the report he was going over.

"But I _like _to…" she whined.

"You don't always get what you like." He didn't have to look at her to know she was pouting. "Don't pout. I'll pay attention to you when I'm done."

She seemed satisfied, "I was going to skip dinner to watch you scowl at papers, but I guess I'll go eat or whatever." She went over to the door to the corridor, but before leaving she turned around and asked him, "Why don't you ever eat with us?"

He leaned back and thought about the irony of it before answering, "When you're a superior officer it's best not to get too close to your subordinates…"

* * *

Mike walked into Erwin's office. He didn't have to knock, Erwin always kept the door open when he was in there. Erwin was looking out the window, but he turned and smiled when he saw Mike from the corner of his eye.

Mike didn't sit down. He would be short and to the point and he preferred standing anyway. Any chairs besides his own desk chair were always too small. "I just wanted to let you know, I'm letting Raban train herself at her own discretion."

Erwin didn't seem like it bothered him, but he did sound curious, "Why is that?"

"If I just give her orders, she'll never think for herself."

Erwin paused, thought about it, before saying, "That's actually brilliant."

Mike sneered, "You're surprised?"

Erwin smiled warmly, "I guess I shouldn't be."

...

* * *

Erna came to the table last. Even though everyone was on different squads now, they still ate together. She knew that for them it was because they had been friends for so long. For her it was just habit. At least she told herself that. She preferred to think that she still didn't really care where she sat.

"Where did you go today?" Jean asked her from across the table.

Erna was already chewing a bite of a roll that she got from the kitchen and waited before she answered, "I get to train by myself from now on."

"What? How is that fair?" Jean was annoyed.

Erna shrugged. "Because I'm useless?"

"Don't say that. No one's useless." Armin told her.

"Well I am when it comes to the thinky stuff." She tapped her forehead with her forefinger. "But I'll be good to have around when you need someone to kill titans while you do whatever you do. So maybe the reassignment isn't the worst ever."

Armin laughed a little, "Would you like to meet the brains you're protecting?" meaning the rest of the squad.

"If you could point out their faces, that would be sufficient." She didn't want to stop eating to meet new people. Also, she just didn't want to meet new people.

"Just a few smart rookies with some leadership qualities. It doesn't matter." Jean shrugged it off.

Armin told Erna, "He's jealous because a couple of them were asking about you. They were disappointed that they didn't get to meet you."

Erna's eyes sparkled, delighted that she had something she could torture Jean with. "Jealous?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Tch. It's no big deal. They're only interested in you because you're a freak. They were equally curious about Eren for the same reason. He's just a different kind of freak."

Erna turned to Armin, pretending to be excited, "I have fans? Am I famous? Do I have a nickname like Levi?"

Armin laughed, "I don't think so."

Jean sneered, "We gave you a nickname already, Doll-Face."

Erna frowned and then shrugged. "I'll see them if we go on a mission. Otherwise I don't really want to know their names. I don't want to get attached like I have with you guys."

...

* * *

Erna went back to the office first. She fully expected Levi to still be working. But, not finding him there, she took the door to the apartment and entered the small hallway separating the living room and the bedroom. She opted to try the former and found Levi on one of the couches. She was careful to go over to the front door and slip off her boots before anything else. He wasn't looking at her; he was sipping tea and staring sidelong at a report on the coffee table, looking like he was trying to set it on fire with his eyes. When she took a step, he held up his hand, still not looking at her, but saying, "Stop." So she did, assuming that he wasn't talking to the paper. He took a sip of his tea, then "Crawl."

Erna got on her hands and knees and crawled past the coffee table to kneel in front of him. "Good slave," he kept looking at the paper on the coffee table, but he absentmindedly brought his hand down to tilt her chin up and lightly rub his thumb over her soft, pale pink lips. She opened her mouth to playfully lick and nip at his thumb and he let her for a few seconds before taking his hand away. He put down his tea and picked up the report and a pen off the table, ignoring her.

Part of Erna liked watching Levi work _because _he ignored her and she could just study him, but now it was late and she was starting to feel neglected. Neglected and teased, since she was already wet and throbbing by the time she finished crawling to him. She got between his knees and leaned down to nuzzle her face against the crotch of his pants and then lick broad strokes up the fabric before trying to unbutton them with her teeth. He didn't stop her immediately. When she felt his fingers in her hair, she thought he would stop working and let her keep going, but instead he gave her a sharp tug, pulling her head up and sounding slightly annoyed, "Don't drool on me, you little cock-tease. Go, strip, and wait for me in the bedroom if you can't be patient."

Erna screamed inside her head, but she got up and went to do as he said without protest because he seemed in a mood. It was a delicate balancing act she did around him, scrutinizing him carefully and trying to gauge when acts of disobedience would cause him to punish her in ways that she liked and when it would only result in "real" punishment where he would alternate teasing her and ignoring her, not inflicting any pain, not fucking her, and not letting her come. He was hard to read and sometimes she got it wrong. It would be easier to just be perfectly good and always get the kind of result she wanted, but she felt that would be boring, so she took the occasional risk of disobedience... but now didn't seem like a good time.

She closed the bedroom door behind her, not slamming it even though she wanted to. She did take off her clothes and throw them on the floor as angrily as she could. The act was not as satisfying as she'd hoped, especially since she then had to pick them up and put them away since she still didn't want to take the risk of making Levi too displeased with her. "Aish, so stupid…"

She sat on the bed, knees tucked to her chest, trying to think about anything but how desperately she wanted him to touch her, but at the same time not _wanting_ to think about anything else. After five minutes that felt like fifty, she thought about bringing herself to orgasm and just going to sleep, but decided that was the most tempting and also the worst idea. He would know and it wouldn't be pretty. Levi had made it clear more than once that she wasn't allowed to come without him in the room and somehow he always knew if she did. Maybe because she couldn't hide that look of contentment. Her face was always easy to read.

Twenty more minutes of trying to wait patiently only made her dizzy with want and desperate need instead of calming her. She felt taut like a bowstring, like if he even brushed up against her or looked at her she would come. She _hated _waiting for him. She punched a pillow behind her. She was actually surprised at how good that felt. She quickly grabbed the pillow in her hands and slammed it down full force against the mattress, raising it and bringing it down again and again, feeling her heart rate quicken. The animal part of her wanted to kill something. She growled and ripped the pillowcase with her teeth. She hadn't noticed the door open.

After leaning in the door frame and watching her for a few seconds, Levi startled her with, "What… in the fuck… are you doing?" He didn't sound or look surprised. Her strange behavior had ceased to be surprising a long time ago.

Erna dropped the pillow. She whimpered and whined, "I just want to come."

Levi made a slight, dark smile. He started unbuckling his 3DMG straps as he said, "I must be misremembering. I thought I told you that I would pay attention to you when I was done." He set them down and untied his cravat, removing it and then his shirt.

Erna looked down, his evil tone making her feel regretful at her outburst, "You did."

"I did." He confirmed very sternly. "So why are you shredding my pillowcase like a disobedient little whore with a case of rabies?" He took off his belt and hooked his thumbs into the waist of his pants, sliding them down along with his underwear, freeing his hard, prominent cock. He discarded the clothes, but kept the belt in his hand.

She found it hard to form words while watching him undress. "I… I don't…"

"Hands and knees," He didn't care about what her answer would have turned out to be if he'd waited to hear it. Erna got on all fours without hesitation. He went over and kneeled on the bed next to her, using his left hand to grab her by her hair and pull her head back as he brought the belt down hard on her ass.

Erna made a short scream at the pain of it, but then a moan as the pain released a flood of endorphins. Her body unconsciously tried to lean forward, away from the belt, but he held her hair tightly, so she only ended up arching her neck and back painfully. He tugged her back and proceeded to whip her. He might have said something, but she could only hear her heartbeat roar in her ears punctuated by the crack of the belt.

When she was used to it, past the point of any of the welts on her ass bringing any more or less pain than they already were and she only moaned, not screaming in pain no matter how much force he used, he paused and then hit her lightly, but much lower. Her every muscle tensed and she screamed when she felt the stinging pain of the leather against her throbbing lips. Every throbbing pulse of arousal turned to pain. If it were anyone but him, she could have thought it was an accident. "Ha… Ha… Hai!" she was gasping, stinging bright white flashes of pain at the corners of her eyes, but he only gave her a second to experience it before giving her hair a sharp tug and bringing the belt down on her red ass again, distracting her with the familiar, comforting, dull throbbing pain from the welts while the sharper pain subsided.

When she was moaning again, he discarded the belt. He pulled her up with the hand in her hair, bringing her to sit straight up on her knees before bringing the hand to the front of her neck and pushing her back quickly, almost throwing her down to lie on her back on the soft mattress.

Levi kept his hand on her neck, feeling her quick pulse, taking in her adorably disheveled hair and beautiful porcelain face. He let her get a few deep breaths while he looked into her eyes and asked, "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," she didn't even pause to think about it.

"With your life?" he caressed her delicate neck.

"Completely."

Levi kept his eyes locked on hers as he spread out his thumb from his forefinger, making a V with his hand and bringing it up under her chin, slowly applying more and more pressure to the point where her neck met her jawline. She didn't struggle as her breathing came harder. He watched her pupils dilate and felt her pulse slow under his fingers.

Erna felt light-headed. Her body panicked and tried to gasp for air, but her mind felt calm. Then she felt euphoric as seconds ticked by and her brain was deprived of oxygen. As she felt a vacuum form in her lungs, the euphoria overtook her and her body stopped struggling to take in air. Levi barely touched her clit and she came so hard she could only see white. He removed his hand from her neck, but she didn't notice. She had never experienced anything so intense and she didn't want it to be over. She gave in to the suction of her lungs. Ecstasy kept her from panicking as her vision went dark until she felt a sharp slap across her face. Levi said, "Breathe, you idiot girl," and she filled her lungs with air again. Euphoria fading as her vision refocused and she took deep breaths in and out. Levi kept two fingers over her carotid artery and looked bored as he waited for her pulse to return to normal.

When her pulse and breathing were finally closer to normal, he removed his fingers and moved between her legs. She looked up at him and pleaded, "Do that again."

He smiled, "You couldn't handle it… and I don't want to kill you yet." He lifted her hips, "You'll have to settle for getting fucked." He hummed and grunted as he pushed inside of her. He had to go slowly. Whenever he made her come just before fucking her, she felt even more silky and warm, which was maddening enough without the aftershocks of her muscle spasms tightening and releasing around his cock.

She moaned a request, "Harder."

Normally he would tease her and go even more slowly, torturing her for trying to have any say in how he fucked her. But she'd been so submissive and trusting as he brought her up to the edge of asphyxiation, so he supposed she could have this one request. He leaned over her and bit her neck as he gave her what she wanted, pounding into her hard and fast. She screamed his name and he crushed her lips with his, aggressively forcing his tongue inside her mouth before pulling back and sucking on her lower lip hard enough to bruise her. "Ha – ah – fuck –," he spat out when he felt her start to spasm around him again. She felt so good, he didn't want to pull out and he almost didn't. Just in time, he removed his cock from her as she was still riding waves of her own orgasm; he didn't even have time to cum relatively neatly on her stomach. His cock twitched and spilled onto the sheets. "Ha… Shit." His breathing was ragged, but he only took about four deep breaths before ordering her, "Get up."

Erna's eyes were glazed over and blissed out. She murmured sleepily,"I can't."

He got up from the bed and stood next to it. "This is going to be rough for you then." He ripped the sheets out from under her and off of the bed, causing her to roll off the edge, but she caught herself and landed on her feet.

She stamped her foot, "You _just _changed the sheets yesterday! Can you relax for a _minute_?"

He tossed the sheets into the laundry basket and got new ones from the linen closet. Instead of putting them on the bed, he strode over to her, "You're right. I should." He put the clean sheets in her hands, "You change them. I'm going to take a shower." He walked past her to the bathroom.

"Fuck." She whispered under her breath.

"And change the pillowcase you ripped," he deadpanned over his shoulder.

* * *

**(A/N) I try to do a different particular kink in every sex scene. Otherwise I would get bored of writing them. I figured if Levi was going to be all angsty about trust, then he would want to do something that requires all of the trust. So I decided on breath play, but I didn't know much about breath play so I had to do research. I learned stuff. I would even venture to say that I learned too much stuff. What I mainly learned was: 1) Holy shit, don't do it you guys. And 2) Especially don't do it the way I've written here. Don't put your hands anywhere near anyone's carotid arteries or trachea. Apparently it is surprisingly easy to stop a person's heart. Who knew?**

**If you have ever wondered while reading this why Erna says "Aish" when she's frustrated with herself, it's because I watch a lot of Korean romantic comedy/drama shows. Obviously Erna is not Korean, since Mikasa is the only Asian person left. Given her name, I would guess that she is mostly of Germanic descent *shrug* I haven't given it a lot of thought. But "Aish" is a cute sound of frustration and I like it.**

**My head hurts now from holding my breath for the sake of research.**

**Thank you for reading this far. I love you. Don't choke anyone and don't let anyone choke you.**


	16. Anatomy 101

**(A/N) I honestly don't care if you review, but if you have suggestions or ideas (like if you could write a better summary for this story for me, that would be awesome) or just want to say you like this thing I'm pouring a lot of time into, send me a quick pm. It makes it easier to stay motivated and that makes the chapters get to you faster. It's a win-win.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Attack on Titan or any of its characters. I own my OC. I own my body, some clothes, a dog, this laptop, a few succulent plants that I can barely keep alive, a bar of soap that smells like jasmine flowers, and not much else. Oh, also this story. I own this.**

* * *

Erna woke up from another sex dream. It wasn't a very specific one – all darkness and grabbing and throbbing and taking. For a short time before she opened her eyes, she thought she was still dreaming. When she did open her eyes she realized that she was awake, she then realized a moment later that she was still moaning and the feelings from her dream didn't go away upon waking because Levi had a finger half inside her and she was grinding against the heel of his palm.

He held her tight against him, so that she could feel the hard muscles of his chest pressed against her back and his cock pushing into her thighs. Rather than relax and luxuriate in the feeling, she tried desperately to reach her climax quickly before he could stop. He never woke her up in the morning unless it was to tease her so that she would be horny and distracted all day.

As she felt the pressure build in her lower abdomen, she held her breath and felt tingly all over. Her orgasm built up and she was almost there, but she didn't have a chance to explode before he stopped. She grabbed his arm, tried to hold his hand there and buck against it, she was so close. But she was considerably weaker than him in her half-awake state and he easily slid out of her grip. She moaned and sighed as her muscles went rigid, she tried like hell to get off just by pure will, but it didn't work and the built up feeling faded. She melted and breathed deeply. "Oh fuck me."

She said it as an exclamation, but he answered her as if it were a request, "I don't have time." He got out of bed, "Get up. You can suck me off while I shower and I might let you come." He said it as if he were doing her a favor.

Even though she knew it was an empty promise, she got up to follow him to the bathroom, but then she inhaled sharply in pain. She got dizzy, dark spots forming at the edges of her vision, she sat back down on the bed.

"What is it?" His voice was a bored deadpan, but he _was_ curious. He'd never heard her react to pain other than when he caused it and she screamed and moaned.

"Chest hurts." She pointed to her lower sternum and winced. "Stabbing."

"That's because you suffocated yourself half to death, shit-for-brains." He leaned in the door frame. He was pissed off, because she _had_ nearly suffocated herself to death the night before and it had scared him a little, but he wouldn't show it.

Erna was taken aback by his assertion, "You suffocated me!"

There was some rare, slight emotion to his voice, "Wrong. _I_ only cut off your air long enough to give you a toe-curling orgasm and _maybe _kill a few brain cells that you weren't using. _You_ neglected to start breathing again when I took my hand off your neck. Your chest wouldn't hurt right now if you didn't need to be snapped out of it and ordered to do a simple thing like take air into your lungs."

She pouted because he was right, but he had a way of saying it that made her feel like she was an inconvenience. "… It felt good."

"I know." He hadn't thought it would be irresponsible to take her that close to the edge. He knew what he was doing, knew how to avoid pressing on the nerve that would stop her heart, knew how long he could cut off her air without causing real harm, but he didn't anticipate that the feeling would be so intense that her mind would turn off her visceral nervous system and she would avoid breathing past the point it was safe for the sake of getting off. He hadn't calculated the variable of human unpredictability. He didn't feel great about it, for a brief moment he wondered if he had abused her trust, but he didn't dwell on it because in the end she was fine. He wasn't going to apologize. He couldn't remember ever apologizing for anything. "Come on, you psychotic adrenaline junkie. I'm not going to let you suck my cock, since you'll probably choke yourself to death, but you still have to take a shower."

"Noooo. Why? You never cared before." She knew that showers with your partner were supposed to be sexy, but she didn't get it. Erna hated showering with Levi. He always scrubbed her skin too hard and the water was too hot. Besides, she preferred a five to ten minute shower whereas he made her stay in there for twenty at the very least. So the occurrence of them showering together was somewhere in between rare and nonexistent, even more so in the morning, since Erna didn't see the point of morning showers if she was just going to get dirty and sweaty training and would need to take another one afterwards. Up until now Levi had been relaxed (for him) about it, letting her shower when she wanted as long as it was at least once a day and she was clean enough by his standards when he wanted to touch her.

"I cared less before because I got to see you whenever I wanted," he said as if it was obvious and she was stupid for not already knowing that without him needing to tell her.

Erna relented because it was sweet even though it was delivered with the same bored, deadpan tone that never sounded affectionate, but rather annoyed. She thought that must have been why he woke her up. They had different morning routines that neither of them wanted to change, which meant they didn't really cross paths in the apartment much in the morning. Levi woke up early and was always in the shower by the time Erna's internal clock woke her up ten or fifteen minutes before she needed to go, giving her just enough time to hop out of bed, throw on clothes, brush her hair and teeth, and sneak out of the office early. Unless he woke her up to tease her, they barely said two words to each other in the morning. She had actually been surprised he'd let her stick with her habit of waking up and running out the door this long. "Can I adjust the water temperature?"

"No." He turned and went into the bathroom and started the water running.

"Can you not scrub my skin off?" she called after him.

"No."

"Can I –," she started, but he cut her off.

"No."

She smiled because she wouldn't want him any other way. She went into the bathroom just as he was stepping under the shower. "I was going to ask if I could suck your cock if I promise not to stop breathing."

"Only if you want to be late. I'm not in the mood to be quick." He turned his face up to the running water. Steam was already starting to billow out, which meant he'd made the water even hotter than usual.

Erna looked in the mirror before it fogged over. "I'm going to skip breakfast."

"You're going to breakfast and you're going to eat something for a change," he replied quickly.

"My lip is bruised and I have a very clear bite mark on my neck. I look like an animal mauled me. I catch enough grief as it is." She slowly lost sight of herself as the mirror fogged over with steam.

"Well get used to it because I'm not going to stop. And you're going to eat something at breakfast like a real person if I have to tie you to a chair and funnel gruel down your throat."

Erna took a deep breath of the warm steam filling the room. The deep breath hurt her chest, but the steam felt good in her lungs. "Is this because you can't order me around during work anymore?" she teased.

"I'm still your superior, I can still order you around during work. I just choose to mind my own fucking business. If you're not on my squad, I'm not going to waste time keeping tabs on you. Honestly it's a big fucking relief."

She pretended to be shocked, "You didn't fight to keep me?! I'm hurt."

"As long as you come back here every night, I don't give a shit." What he didn't tell her was that he trusted Mike possibly more than he trusted himself. He could rest easy knowing that Mike wouldn't get her killed. That was why he didn't care.

"So you're going to exchange ordering me around during work for telling me when to eat, breathe, and shower the rest of the time?" she teased him as she stepped into the shower behind him, avoiding the scalding hot water.

"That's pretty much the idea." He grabbed her wrist and shoved her under the shower head. His mouth formed an evil smirk; he enjoyed the way she screamed.

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

* * *

Erna arrived at breakfast late anyway, hair still wet, skin freshly over-exfoliated. Jean was quick to point out, "You look like hell," not out of concern.

"You have a horse-face," she said matter-of-factly. She reached across the table and tore off half of a roll that was on his plate, bringing it to her mouth, taking a bite, and hating every second of it.

"Very original." He rolled his eyes.

"Did you… take a shower?" Armin asked, confused. It didn't make much sense to shower _before_ training or chores. A few people would just because that was when the public washrooms were the least crowded, but they were the exception that proved the rule.

"Yes." She took another bite of the roll and swallowed, barely chewing. She hated food in the morning. For some reason food only tasted good after work, when you were exhausted.

"… Why?" Armin asked, not only because it was a strange thing to do, but it was especially strange for her. They'd never known her to take a shower in the morning and she was kind of known for sticking to a strict routine or at least a very predictable behavior pattern.

Erna was frustrated because she had no excuses, "Fuck. I don't know." She could not think of a plausible reason. Before she could even try to divert attention to something else, Sasha got up from her seat to come over and put a hand on her forehead. "What are you doing?"

"Checking for a fever. Abnormal behavior can be a sign of sickness," she was teasing her. "But your temperature seems normal."

Erna slapped her hand away. "Can't a girl take a shower in the morning without being treated like a murder suspect?"

"You're also eating. I've never seen you eat breakfast before. I'm worried," She was still only teasing. If she was really at all worried it was only that if Erna started eating breakfast there would be less food for her. She moved her hand down to check Erna's pulse and finally noticed the bite mark on her neck and the bruised lower lip and shrieked, "Oh my god, Erna, what happened to you?" She knew. It was pretty obvious. She just wanted to embarrass her. It worked.

Erna took another angry bite of the piece of bread. She scowled and blushed at the same time. "Nothing."

Jean found the whole thing annoying, "The more you make it a big mystery, the more she's going to want to know. Either tell her or stop showing up with bite-marks and hickeys every morning."

"Besides, Erna, we care about you. Wouldn't it be better to just tell us and get it out so we could all be happy for you and you wouldn't have to worry about hiding our – I mean, your relationship?" Armin wasn't lying or incorrect, but he was talking more to Jean than to her. The fact was not lost on Jean and he frowned, but no one really noticed, since he frowned often.

Mikasa leaned over and warned Erna, calmly, "I didn't tell her, but she's going to figure it out. Sasha understands more than she lets on."

Erna took a sip of her coffee, the only thing she enjoyed in the morning. "I very much doubt that," she said coldly. She didn't have a lot of faith in Sasha's detective skills. Even if she weren't so careful, she didn't think Sasha could figure it out. "Why are you so obsessed anyway? Doesn't Connie keep you busy enough?"

Connie blushed bright red, but Sasha just retaliated. "I wouldn't be obsessed if you didn't make it so interesting. If you're this ashamed of it, it must be really good."

"It's not. I'm just very private. You already know too much about my personal life for my taste." Erna wondered how it ever even came this far.

"But you're my adorable baby sister!" Sasha pinched her cheek.

Jean muttered, "She just stole food off my plate, she's definitely your little sister."

Erna grabbed Sasha's wrist and squeezed, "You know I hate that."

Connie grabbed Sasha around her waist and pulled her into his lap, "Come on, Sash, leave her alone before she bites your hand off." Sasha playfully chomped her teeth at Connie and he imitated her. They rubbed noses and kissed, instantly lost in their own little world.

Armin tried to help. "She only picks on you because of the way you react. You make it fun for her. The more you hate it, the more she's going to try to push your buttons."

"Then I've decided I don't care." She erased the anger from her eyes as best she could and her face turned calm as she went back to sipping her coffee. She tried to sound as bored as possible. She tried to remember what it was like to not have a temper or people who cared about your personal life and who you cared about enough to not beat senseless when they bothered you.

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* * *

It was actually really lucky that Erna's chest hurt as badly as it did. Had she been pain free, she would have pressed blindly and aggressively onward with her plan to get outside headquarters' walls unnoticed to kill titans alone in the open. But the pain in her chest made her careful, reminded her to exercise some caution. It was a reminder of vulnerability. If she was going to be completely alone with no horse and no flare gun, then she needed to be flawless. She decided it was maybe time to learn something about what she was doing.

After going out to check on her horse, Erna went back to the castle and found Hange talking to one of her squad members in the courtyard. Erna called over, "Hey Hange! When you get a chance, could I ask you some questions about titans?" Instantly, Hange materialized in front of her. Erna barely even saw her turn around. "How did you do that?"

"Erna! I knew you had some curiosity! What do you want to know? Or do you want an overview in general? Come with me, we'll walk and talk!" She linked arms with the suddenly worried looking girl and pulled her along.

"Um… I just… Oh my god, slow down, your legs are so much longer than mine!" Hange pulled her along at the kind of speed she was only used to when flying through the air with the 3DMG.

They were inside the castle now, Hange slowed her pace a little so she wasn't dragging Erna, but she kept talking fast, "Sorry, I forget sometimes. You act so serious and severe, it's easy to forget how short you are. It's the same with Levi. How are you two anyway?"

_Why does everyone have to know? _"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

"Okay, I get it. Say no more." Hange actually winked at her. Erna regretted her decision to talk to her with every fiber of her being. But she needed information and this was the only way she knew how to get it.

"So, my question…" Erna began warily as she was dragged along.

"Yes, what is it! I'll be happy to answer any question you can come up with." She dragged Erna into her office and sat down.

Erna didn't take the other chair. She wanted to be able to exit quickly. "Well, I guess, I wanted to just know more about their anatomy in general. Like do we know if their muscles and skeletal structure are the same as ours?"

"Ahh, I wish I could give you a definitive answer. From an observation standpoint, their muscular structure seems the same, especially from what we can see on the ones that are lacking skin in areas, but their body parts are so hot and evaporate so quickly when I try to dissect them I can't say for certain. The skeletal structure I can tell you for sure is the same as ours in components, but the proportions are different. I haven't been able to pick up a titan bone and examine it – they're too hot. So I don't know what their bone density is like compared with ours."

Erna tried to keep her focused, "I guess I want to know if they have other weak points, like in the same places a human would. I know they regenerate fast, but are there efficient ways to slow them down or paralyze them for a short time? I mean, cutting them in the same place our Achilles tendon would be seems to do more than say a blade to the chest. Is it because they don't experience pain or weaken from blood loss, but still have a lot of the same physiology that we do?"

Hange tapped her forefingers together. "They don't experience weakness from blood loss the way we do… We're not even sure if they have a circulatory system or a heart. We know they have stomachs, but otherwise we don't know what organs they do and don't have. I wish we could open one up and find out what their nervous systems are like! They do breathe, which would suggest having lungs and at least some kind of autonomous nervous system, but they don't always seem to experience pain the same way that humans do… Maybe different neurotransmitters… We always thought their general clumsiness in comparison with us was just a function of their size, but maybe it's differently functioning basal ganglia, or the lack of one at all… but how would they move without a brain or nervous system or control muscles without dopamine?" Hange let out a disappointed sigh, "It's so hard to find out about anything other than the muscles and skeleton. If you try to cut them open, they regenerate too fast to get a good look at anything and if you cut their necks so that they can't regenerate, they just smolder and evaporate."

"You have lost me completely." Erna said flatly, but Hange seemed to not hear her as she was lost in deep thought.

"As far as pain goes, it seems to vary from titan to titan," Hange opened a desk drawer, looking for something. "Let me show you my notes on Sawney and Bean!"

This is what Erna was afraid of. "Um, I'm actually really busy, but… another time?" Erna looked at the bookshelves, "I guess what I need for right now is just a better knowledge of human anatomy that I might be able to apply to titans if they do have the same physiology as humans."

Hange sniffled like she was holding back tears, "Erna, I've never been so happy!"

"So if I could borrow a book or som- oof," she felt the wind get knocked out of her as Hange compressed her in a big hug, lifting her off of the ground.

"You can borrow all of the books! Keep any of them for as long as you want!" she hugged Erna tighter.

"Please… put me down… You're crushing my lungs…"

Hange dropped her just as enthusiastically as she had picked her up and turned to her bookshelves. She pulled book after book and piled them in Erna's hands. Just as Erna was about to shout at Hange to stop, a flustered-looking red-headed recruit with golden eyes, fair skin, and freckles appeared in the doorway. She was out of breath, but looked relieved to find them and nervous as she stammered, "Oh, um, Miss Raban, Commander Erwin sent me to find you."Hange did not pause. She kept running her fingers over books and pulling ones she wanted Erna to read.

Erna fixed a cold glare on the messenger, "… Miss… Raban…?" She didn't know what she would have expected to be called, but she didn't like the sound of it. No one had ever used an honorific when addressing her. It was always her first name or her last name, or at the most 'Private Raban.' But she had also never had a messenger sent for her. She was normally very easy to track and find if anyone was looking for her.

"Well, um… uh…" the poor girl was terrified.

"Erna," she sternly corrected her.

"Erna…" the recruit repeated and seemed to let out a sigh of relief.

"What is it?" she snapped as Hange kept piling books in her arms. She didn't like the girl's nervousness, which made her cold, which only made the girl more nervous.

"Commander Erwin wanted me to find you and ask you to come to his office…" she squeaked out.

Erna turned back to Hange, "Okaayy, Hange," she shifted her arms to get a look at the titles of stack of books. "I'm just going to…" she grunted at the weight and moved over to the desk, setting them down, "take these two…" She pulled out two books on anatomy and biology from the middle, "And… I'll see you… later…" She backed out of the room cautiously. Hange seemed as if she didn't hear her at all. She was still absorbed in running her fingers over books, looking for a particular one. When Erna was all the way out of the office, she turned on her heel and started walking quickly towards Erwin's.

The messenger half-jogged to keep up with her. Still nervous, she offered shyly, "I'm Kallie."

"Okay." Erna didn't want to say anything that would encourage the girl to keep speaking. Her nervousness was bothersome. Erna hated nervous recruits. They were hesitant and they second-guessed themselves and made mistakes on missions, which meant death for them or for someone else or both. They were only a liability.

She turned a corner and Kallie stayed right with her. "I just joined the Survey Corps."

Erna sighed. "I can tell," she said quietly and coldly, still not wanting to encourage the girl to follow her. It was a long walk from Hange's office to Erwin's. Hange was the only one who kept an office on the first floor, away from her apartment.

Kallie seemed relieved that Erna was talking in longer sentences now. "Oh? How?"

"You're still alive." Erna turned a corner and made her way up a staircase.

Kallie was no longer relieved, but kept talking nonetheless, "My sister is in the Quartermaster Corps… My family wanted me to join the wall garrison or the military police, but I didn't place high enough for the MP's and my sister, Ada, told me about how you saved her life, so when I graduated I joined the Survey Corps." She said all of this very quickly, in pace with Erna's walking.

Erna stopped and turned around, making the girl nearly crash into her and said calmly, "The woman who got thrown from her wagon?" Erna looked her up and down, "You look like her."

This really encouraged Kallie and she talked even faster, "Really? Everyone says she looks more like my dad and I look more like my mom –," but Erna cut her off as she turned on her heel and began walking again.

"I don't mean your face. I don't remember names and faces. You have the same nervous demeanor she did. I thought it was just shock, but it must be a family trait." If Erna could have berated the girl into leaving the Survey Corps she would have. Kallie reminded her of death. It was easy to picture the redhead freezing in fear and being easy titan-prey.

"Oh…" was all Kallie said.

Erna was glad she had finally shut her up. She only wished she could have accomplished it earlier. She approached Erwin's office. When she stopped next to the open door, the girl was still with her. She paused and turned to look at her, "Don't expect anyone to save you." Her tone wasn't cold anymore, this was genuine advice. People who didn't expect to be saved worked harder to stay alive.

Kallie saluted her and quickly stammered, "I- I won't, Miss-," before Erna stopped her again.

"Erna." She put her hand around Kallie's fist and pulled it away from over her heart and down to her side, "And don't salute me. I'm not a Captain or a Squad Leader. We're the same rank."

She left the girl with that and went into Erwin's office, sitting down in the chair across from him and holding the books in her lap. She concentrated on keeping her face calm and expressionless because he made her feel tense and anxious. She didn't know if she would ever feel easy around him again after that intensely personal interrogation he put her through.

He was writing something. He didn't look up or stop writing when he addressed her, "Raban…"

She wondered if he and Levi knew how much they were the same. "Yes, Sir."

"How is your horse?" He still didn't pause in his work.

"Coming along. The vet and I agree she can be back to work in five days." She tried to sound relaxed, emotionless.

"Good. I'm holding you to that. We'll resume reconnaissance missions in five days." He finally put down his pen and looked at her. "I hope you appreciate that I'm delaying something so important so that you can use your own horse. If it were anyone else, we would continue on schedule." His face wasn't warm or cold. He was very good at looking emotionless.

"I appreciate it very much, Commander Erwin. It means a lot to me. I won't let you down." She said this both to appease him and because it was the honest truth.

"See that you don't." He paused, seeming to study her, "Mike has you training on your own." It was a statement of fact, not a question.

"Yes, Sir," she nodded.

"What are you doing with your time?" He tapped his pen on the desk.

Erna felt a little wave of anxiety, but didn't let it show in her face or voice, "Reading for now."

He was satisfied, but he didn't soften any, "I hope you don't think your reassignment was a petty or vindictive move. I did what I think is best for you and for the Survey Corps."

Erna relaxed a little, "Not at all, Sir. I respect your judgment completely and I couldn't agree more." She smiled and thought of how good it would feel to kill titans, alone, unburdened by the presence or actions of others.

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* * *

Levi finally got back to the apartment after Erna had already eaten and showered. He found her on the bed, lying on her stomach, knees bent, legs in the air crossed at the ankles, and reading something. She was completely absorbed and didn't even notice him enter the room. _So that's what kept her from bothering me in my office_. He untied his cravat and watched her for a moment. Her face was cute in its deep concentration, brows knitted and teeth unconsciously biting at her lower lip. He walked over to the bed and she still didn't take notice of him until he took the book from under her fingers.

He looked at the cover, "Basic Human Anatomy?" He easily held her away as she tried to grab it back from him. "Giving up fighting to become a doctor?" he teased her. He tossed the book back on the bed in front of her.

"Learning how to immobilize titans," she flipped through the book, trying to find the page she had been on.

"You cut the nape of their neck." He told her as if she hadn't learned that yet.

"Not if you're on the ground and can't reach straight to the shoulder with the hooks," she said absently.

The solution was very obvious to him, "Don't be on the ground." That was one of the only rules when it came to fighting titans. He ruffled her hair and teased, "I didn't even think you _could_ read."

She blew a curl out of her eyes, still trying to concentrate on her reading and only answering him absently, "Can't graduate Trainee Corps without reading..."

"I wouldn't know."

That finally caught her attention. She stopped reading and held her head in her hands, watching him. "How did Erwin and Mike force you to join the Survey Corps?"

Levi was hanging up his jacket. His eyes lingered on the embroidered wings of freedom for a moment. "How does anyone force anyone to do anything?" he asked in his bored-sounding tone.

Erna thought about this and answered matter-of-factly, "Blackmail or brute force."

Levi nodded. He started unbuttoning his shirt, getting ready to go take a shower.

"Well which was it?" She was very curious now.

"Both." He took off his belt.

"How?" She was fascinated and relentless.

Levi changed the subject. "Come here, I'll give you a biology lesson," he deadpanned.

Erna laughed. It was a rare sound, which made it possibly better than a scream or a moan to Levi's ears. She gave up the line of questioning. She held her book up, "You can come over here and be my anatomy model."

Levi finished getting undressed and went and stood at the edge of the bed. Erna put her hand just above his knee, "So this is where your quadriceps tendon is. If you cut deep enough to sever it, it should make it more or less impossible to walk... The anterior cruciate ligament would be even better, but it's harder to get at…" She gently pressed into the muscle above his knee and furrowed her brow in concentration. She kept one hand on her book, glancing at it, and moved her other hand up his inner thigh. His cock was already semi-hard and he didn't plan on holding still for much longer, but he exercised some patience; this new, curious side of her was cute. He folded his hands behind his back as her hand travelled up his leg. "And this is where your main femoral artery is, but it's hard to feel the pulse." She pressed her fingers hard into the spot where his thigh met his pelvis.

"Shit!" Levi flinched as he quickly grabbed her wrist and pulled her up by it.

"Does that hurt?!" she sounded surprised.

"No, you filthy brat, it tickles." He let go of her wrist, which was a mistake.

Her eyes lit up. "Really?" She reached to grab him again, "I've never heard you laugh."

He grabbed both of her wrists before she could touch him, "And you never will."

She looked at his hands around her wrists and informed him, "I know seven different ways to break this hold."

He growled, "You don't want to do that."

"Oh, no?" She was pretty sure she did. "What happens if I do and I can successfully tickle you?"

He squeezed her wrists tighter, whitening his knuckles and constricting her blood flow as he leaned down closer to her face to tell her, his voice serious and full of quiet rage, "I'm going to take my belt to your little cunt and beat it so hard that you won't be able to touch your lips or your clit for weeks. Every slight touch afterwards will feel like burning pins and every throb, every time you get wet, will be an aching reminder that you were dumb enough to fuck with me."

Her eyes widened and her mouth went dry as that sank in. "You wouldn't."

"That's only if you break my hold on your wrists. Did you want to know what happens if you go so far as to try to tickle me? I'm going to do all of that, but then I'm going to fuck you afterwards." He brought his mouth close to her ear and whispered, "Which will be _very_ good for me," he traced his tongue along the outer shell of her ear slowly and whispered, "your tight little cunt hot and throbbing in pain, tightening around me as every thrust makes you feel more intense waves of agony than you ever imagined possible… I wonder what your screams would sound like." She couldn't see his evil smile as she shuddered. He moved back and held her wrists up, his voice returning to normal, "So did you want to show me how you can break this?"

She shook her head, eyes wide, skin paler than usual.

"I thought you wanted to tickle me." He let go of her wrists and she immediately put her palms down flat on the bed.

"I'll be good." She sat perfectly still, every muscle tensed.

He shrugged, "I was almost hoping you would."

She shook her head emphatically, "No thanks."

"That's a shame." He stretched his arms, "Did you need to prod me anymore or can I go take a shower?"

"Nope, I'm good. You can do whatever," she said warily. His sudden return to nonchalance put her on guard.

"Okay, I'm going to take a shower and then probably do what I threatened anyway, just for fun." He turned around and walked to the bathroom, saying over his shoulder, "Unless you want to dust in here and change the sheets."

Erna leapt off the bed, her voice wavering, "Hai!" and ripped the sheets off quick as a flash.

He called out as he started the water running, "If you're not done before I'm out of here or if you miss anything, I'm going to do something much worse." He took a long time with his shower, having fun thinking of worse things.

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* * *

**(A/N) You might enjoy this. My best friend just came home after a four year stint in Ethiopia and the first thing we did was get drunk and watch Attack on Titan. Here is what she had to say about Mikasa…**

**Friend: If they made a live action movie of this, that girl who played the main girl character in Twilight would play her.**  
**Me: Kristen Stewart?**  
**Friend: Yeah, her.**  
**Me: Because she doesn't know how to imitate human emotions with her face?**  
**Friend: Yes, exactly.**

**Thank you for reading, I love you. I apologize to fans of Mikasa and Kristen Stewart.**


	17. Conversion Rates

**(A/N) This chapter builds into some drawn-out, violent, kinky smut. I find myself making things more twisted as I get bored with the growing domesticity between Erna and Levi. Which I think is good for everyone. Especially them. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan or its characters. They should be so lucky.  
I do own my OC and this thing I've written. So hands off of those.**

_Dining Hall, Breakfast._

Freshly showered and last one to the table again, Erna casually walked up to where Sasha sat and reached for a roll on the side of her plate with the hand that was not holding her coffee. Connie grabbed her wrist and pulled it away just in time so that Sasha's fork went into the table and not Erna's hand.

"Holy shit, Sasha! What the fuck?" Erna was amazed for one by the girl's reflexes, and also that she actually would have stabbed her hand if Connie hadn't pulled her away in time. Sasha pulled the fork out of the table with some effort - it was in there pretty deep - and went back to eating.

"You really should know better, Erna. How have you hung out with us this long without learning that you don't come between Sasha and food?" Eren asked her.

Connie gave Erna half of his roll and told her, "Here. I always grab extra food so I have enough to eat after she steals some off my plate." Sasha said something like _Aw, Connie, you're the sweetest_, but with her mouth full it just sounded like incoherent mumbling.

"Thanks…" Erna eyed Sasha warily and stepped away slowly and carefully to sit down next to Connie. She took a bite of the piece of bread and washed it down with black coffee. She watched Sasha from behind her mug and when she was done inhaling everything off her plate, Erna asked her, "So, how goes your investigation into my private life?"

"Well, actually the fact that you showered again this morning narrows down the field a lot." Sasha answered nonchalantly.

"How's that?" Erna wasn't worried, assuming Sasha's reason for thinking so was probably completely misguided.

"Well you weren't in Krista's room last night…"

"Sorry, Erna," Krista said quietly, looking guiltily down at the table.

"You're fine, don't worry about it." Erna reassured Krista. She really didn't expect the girl to even cover for her this long. She turned to Sasha, "So?"

"Well, you also weren't in any of the public showers this morning." Sasha went on.

Erna held up her hand. "Wait… wait… You checked?"

"Well so few people shower in the morning, it was easy to check."

Erna thought about this for a second and then asked, "How many naked people did you barge in on?" The girls public showers on each corridor had stalls, so unless Sasha knew Erna's feet very well…

"That's not important." Sasha waved it off.

"I think it's pretty important," Connie gave Sasha a look like he was already constructing lesbian shower sex fantasies centered around her.

"Okay, so I had to kick open some shower stall doors. What's important is that you weren't in any of them, so that means you're sleeping with someone who has an apartment with a bathroom, which means it's a Captain or a Team Leader, so that narrows it down to thirteen people if you count Erwin."

Erna hid her shock and kept her face expressionless, "That's pretty smart." She was both upset and impressed. Just like that, Sasha narrowed the pool down from about three hundred to thirteen.

"I told you she's smarter than she seems," Mikasa said. Sasha nodded at the back-handed compliment, looking pretty pleased with herself.

Erna hadn't planned for this, but she was a good improviser. "What makes you think it's just one person?" She could throw Sasha off, at least for a while.

"What do you mean?"

"I might be a sex addict with a thing for people in positions of authority." Erna had no issues with making Sasha believe something worse than the truth for the sake of keeping her privacy.

Sasha gave her an intrigued look of disbelief. "Are you…? …All thirteen?"

"You're so smart, you tell me," Erna taunted.

"Even Erwin?"

"Especially Erwin. Why did you think my evaluation was so much longer than anyone else's?" Erna said as if it were obvious.

Sasha considered this, then asked, "And Mike?"

"Usually at the same time." Erna deadpanned as if it was nothing. Anyone who was listening was wide-eyed and open-mouthed now, except Sasha and, of course, Mikasa and Eren.

Sasha studied her face, "… I think you're messing with me." She sounded unsure.

"Why would I lie about something like that?" Erna sipped her coffee stoically.

"… I don't know… But you wouldn't just tell me the truth this easily." Sasha was confused and suspicious. She didn't know why, but her intuition told her Erna was lying.

"I would if you pretty much figured it out yourself anyway, which you did. I just gave you a gentle push in the right direction."

Sasha shook her head, "No, you're not telling me something." She reached over and took the rest of Erna's roll from her hand. "And if you don't tell me, I'm going to sneak into the kitchen tonight and steal all of that coffee that you love so much."

Erna didn't believe her. "One: I just did tell you. And two: The pantries are locked up at night."

"It doesn't matter. She used to steal food every night," Eren informed her.

"I almost never got caught, but everyone assumed it was me, so every time the inventory was off they would make me run laps, so I don't do it much anymore. I hate running almost as much as I love food." Sasha sighed wistfully, then turned serious again, "So if you want your black sludge tomorrow morning, you know where to find me."

Connie, who hadn't been listening to any of the conversation since Sasha had mentioned breaking in on other girls' showers, finally shook his head and snapped out of his fantasy. "Huh? What are we talking about?"

Mikasa answered him in a deadpan, "Erna's sleeping with Erwin and Mike."

Erna added, "At the same time," in a serious tone.

Connie didn't respond. He only grabbed Sasha's hand and pulled her away from the table, dragging her behind him, and saying to Mikasa over his shoulder, "We'll be right back. Start training without us."

Eren called after him, "How long?"

"Give us like twenty minutes," Connie answered and they were gone.

Mikasa turned to Erna, "It was almost believable, but I think you went too far."

Jean scoffed, "I knew you were lying."

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not." Erna finished her coffee and then asked him, "What makes you so sure?"

"Because you're obviously a lesbian. I would have believed you if you said you were taking Hange and Nanaba at the same time," Jean teased.

Erna nodded thoughtfully, "You're right, that would have been a better lie."

Mikasa rolled her eyes, "Obviously every girl who doesn't want you is a lesbian, Jean."

Eren picked up her lead, "If that were true, the human population would have died out already with or without titans." Jean said nothing, but lifted his raised middle finger at both of them.

Mikasa turned her attention to Erna again, "I don't understand why you don't just tell her."

Erna sighed. "It's the one thing I have left. It's okay that you and Eren know, but… it's the last thing I have that keeps me distant."

"You just like the attention you get for being a big mystery," Jean responded, annoyed.

Erna spat back, "You're just jealous because your new squad is my fucking fan club."

Jean stood up from his chair, fingers clenching the edge of the table, "Don't flatter yourself!"

"Fuck this. I don't want to be here when Levi catches you two fighting again." Eren got up and left. Mikasa followed him because she always followed Eren and Krista followed them because she just didn't like confrontation.

Armin watched them, seemingly undecided on whether to stay or go, but ultimately decided to follow his friends after giving Jean's arm a quick squeeze and saying quietly, "You can't get mad at anyone for keeping secrets." Jean grimaced as Armin walked away. He sat back down and stared at the table.

Erna's eyes widened with curiosity. She got up and took the seat directly across from Jean, who looked more depressed than angry now. She leaned over the table, pointed to Armin as he walked out, then to Jean, "There's something going on there." Jean just sighed and put his head in his hands. It was so obvious now, "You two are fucking in love."

"Don't tell anyone." Jean's tone was considerably softer and less combative now.

"Why not? Armin's kind of great," she shrugged. It was probably the highest compliment she had ever paid anyone and she meant it. "I don't get why you would hide it." She paused and thought, then added, "In light of this, I also don't get why you continue to act like such a sexually frustrated douchebag."

"He is 'kind of great.'" Jean's lips formed as close to a smile as he was capable of. "That's why it's frustrating."

Erna thought about how she at least had the benefit of not being anywhere near Levi except for the times they were alone. She imagined it would be an impossible kind of torture to try to hide the way he made her blush and melt if he were inches away all the time. But that just made it more perplexing that Jean would want to hide it. She told him simply, "I don't get you."

"Mikasa and Eren are so overprotective of him."

"You _are_ easy to beat up, so I wouldn't tell you to not be afraid of them, except for the obvious fact that Armin wouldn't let them beat the shit out of you."

Jean's automatic reaction was, "Fuck you." Then he clarified, "I'm not afraid of that. I'm afraid they'll convince him that he shouldn't be with me. They've been friends since they were kids; their opinion carries a lot of weight."

Erna shrugged, "I'm not going to even pretend to understand why people do the things they do or feel the things they feel…"

"Because you're a freak." Jean's teasing was good-natured this time.

Erna went on as if she hadn't heard that, "But from what I gather, Armin's smarter than you… and me… and pretty much all of us combined. If he thinks you should be open about it, then I would just trust his judgment without questioning him." She let that sink in and then added, "Because you're dumb."

"You're dumb," he responded automatically. He paused, thinking about what she said. "I guess that's good advice," he said begrudgingly. "You're still dumb though."

"That's well established. We don't need to repeat it." Erna didn't mind insults to her intelligence as long as she was respected and left alone for the most part, but there was a limit.

"No, not just in general, though there's that too. But you think that holding on to some personal details and keeping them secret will magically make it so that we're not friends," Jean told her.

Erna crossed her arms, "We're not."

Jean rolled his eyes, "You sit here with us every day."

Erna looked down and made a weak denial, "… I like this table."

"Even if we didn't know anything about you we would still be your friends. It's not something you can control by withholding information. So you may as well tell Sasha and everyone… unless I'm right about you just doing this for attention."

"You really think telling her would make her leave me alone? Because I'd like the opposite of attention. I'd like it if you guys could express your love for me by ignoring me completely." Erna was somewhat serious.

"No, we'll probably just move on to picking on you about something new. Like when we got tired of picking on Connie for being short, we moved on to picking on him for being bald."

Erna smiled, saying softly, "His head looks like peach fuzz."

Jean almost laughed. "See? Having friends isn't so bad. You get to dish out insults as long as you take them."

"I guess it's not so bad. It's all just new to me." Erna leaned back in her chair and smiled peacefully.

Jean said sarcastically, "Really? I'm surprised you haven't had a lot of friends before now."

"Fuck you… I love you too, Horse-Face." He flipped her off. She returned the gesture. "Since we're stuck being friends, did you want to know my secret?"

"No, I'm having fun picturing you with Erwin and Mike. How would that work? You're so small. Mike's cock is probably the size of your forearm."

"Ew." Erna shuddered. "You're disgusting. How does Armin even put up with you?"

Jean raised and lowered his eyebrows, "I'm really good in bed."

Erna covered her ears, "I'm not hearing this. I'm going to throw up."

Sasha and Connie came back in and walked up to the table. Connie asked, "Where'd everyone go?"

"That was only like five minutes at most…" Erna pointed out instead of answering his question.

Connie blushed, "I… had a lot to think about…" Sasha was putting her hair back into a ponytail.

"Your shirt is untucked," Jean told Connie.

"Oh shit, thanks," Connie started tucking his shirt back in.

Erna did a quick calculation, "So if it takes one minute to run back to your room from here… that means you took a whole three minutes, if we're being generous and assuming you didn't take the time to get undressed and then get dressed again." Connie blushed even harder.

"He _is _the fastest at 3D maneuvers…" Jean told her.

"Fuck you guys. I didn't want to be late again and give Levi a reason to kick my ass," Connie said in his own defense.

Erna looked over his shoulder to Sasha who was fixing her clothes, "Hey Sasha, that's who I'm fucking. It's Levi. Are you happy now?"

Jean also turned to Sasha, "Oh, and I'm fucking Armin. We're in love."

"Bullshit." Sasha said simply, tugging at the cuffs of her jacket and straightening it out. "Levi hates you," she said to Erna. "And you're a skirt-chaser," to Jean.

Jean shrugged at Erna, "I tried." He had only confessed because he knew Sasha and Connie wouldn't believe him and now he was very self-satisfied.

Sasha turned to Erna again, "I hope you enjoyed your last cup of coffee."

"Sasha, I'm 100% serious! You can ask Levi!" Erna pleaded.

"Oh yeah, I'm going to ask the guy who makes me run laps or mop the corridors if I even look at him wrong. You guys really must think I'm stupid." She grabbed Connie and pulled him after her, "Come on, we'll be late."

"Bye, Speedy," Jean called after him.

"Shut up, Horse-Face!"

Erna's head hit the table. Jean smiled smugly at her, "That was great. We should have done that sooner."

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Erna rode Raven out to her chosen blind spot on the wall and dismounted. As soon as she removed her saddle and bridle, Raven threw a kick that Erna had to dodge and she galloped back to graze with her herd. "Fucking bitch," Erna said to herself, but on the inside she was glad that Raven was healthy and her usual self. She laid her saddle and bridle against the wall. No one ever really came out to the wall around the castle, unless maneuvering to the top of it for lookout duty, so she wasn't worried about anyone seeing her stash. From the castle, her saddle against the wall would look like a speck.

She made a quick check to be sure there was no one in sight and just like that, she shot up to the top of the wall in two quick pulls and bursts from her gas canister. After breakfast she had gone back to the room and put on her 3DMG, covering it with her green cloak. If she weren't known for being strange and unapproachable, someone probably would have stopped her and asked her about wearing the cloak on such a nice day, but luckily she still had the luxury of being something of a mystery. Once at the top of the wall, without pausing, she carefully rappelled down, slowly, so that she wouldn't cut her hands on the steel cable. She could have let herself free fall and save herself with a burst of gas before hitting the ground, but she wanted to avoid using it anywhere she could. The Survey Corps Supply Officers kept very careful track of gas canisters. When hers were empty, Erna planned on making a small puncture in each so that she could claim that they had leaked when she went to ask for new ones.

Once on the ground, Erna reeled in the steel cable and hook, and began walking the perimeter of the wall. She moved out of the blind spot she had picked, so anyone on lookout duty who looked down would have been able to see her, but she was okay with that risk. She had done it before and she knew that, if they were even awake, people on lookout duty looked out, away from headquarters, not straight down the wall.

She walked to what she knew was another blind spot. This one towards the east side of headquarters, consciously left blind because of the tall trees making up a sizeable dense forest on that side. If titans came from that direction, they would hear the trees crashing before even seeing them, so posting a lookout guard there wasn't necessary.

Erna pressed her back flat against the wall and took a deep breath. This was the part of her plan where she felt she was riding more on luck than anything else. Even if no one noticed her maneuvering across the dry moat, there were still about one hundred feet between her and the cover of the trees. The only way this part would work was if no one happened to be looking over there. She would have liked to have a little more insurance than that, but she couldn't think of another way. She wished she could have had Armin in on this.

"No more thinking," she whispered to herself. "Just do the thing."She shot her cables into the far side of the moat and made a very low arc over, releasing the hook and landing running on the other side. She ran for the trees, lightly and noiselessly as she could, not looking back. Once she was under the cover of the beginnings of the expanse of forest, she stopped and turned around, standing perfectly still to listen and watch. _Nothing._

Erna realized she had been holding her breath and she let it out, "Aish, lucky…" she sighed. She turned and walked through the cool, damp forest. As she got further and further, she slowly unburdened herself of all unnecessary thoughts and feelings and gave way to that tensed, adrenaline-fueled time-slowing kind of relaxation as she came out the other side about an hour later, miles away from anything.

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Erna had walked in a straight line, the sun signaled it was around 2pm before she heard or saw a titan. She saw it first, off in the distance about half a mile away. It noticed her and covered that distance in clumsy running strides in only a few seconds. She stood still and waited. When it bent to reach for her, she shot her hooks into its thigh, flying past its outstretched hand and using her blades to sever the tendon above the knee. She released the hooks, sheathed her blades, and fell to the ground as the titan fell forward. She stood up and began walking back over to it. The disgusting thing made no outward show of pain, but it pathetically struggled to lift itself back up with its arms, without the use of one knee. It reminded her of an insect with a clipped wing. Erna maneuvered to its shoulder, leaving her hooks in to steady herself as the titan continued to struggle to stand. She took out two new blades and cut the nape of its neck, jumping off after it went limp and flattened to the ground.

Titan blood turned to steam and evaporated from her clothes as she found her footprints in the grass and once she found her path, she started running back the way she had come.

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Erna shot a hook into the top part of the wall around headquarters at around 5pm, a little before most people would be finishing training or chores. She propelled herself up about three quarters of the way, but grabbed the cable and pulled herself up the rest of the way to save gas. Just as she got close enough to the top to reach out one hand to grab the stone and pull herself over, a hand grabbed hers and pulled her up too quickly for her to even react. The other hand dragged her over and she fell on her back onto the stones.

Green eyes looked down into hers. "Holy fuck, shit, ohmygoddamnfuckinghell," a river of curses flowed out of her mouth as she caught her breath. "Eren! you scared the fuck out of me! What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Me?! You scared the fuck out of _me_! What the fuck are _you_ doing here?" He took her hand and helped her up.

"I asked first!" she said as if she had a right to be indignant. She gave her cable a tug and withdrew the hook she had used to climb.

Eren shrugged and sat down on the edge of the wall, looking out at the landscape, "I come up here to think… whenever I can shake Mikasa…"

Erna took a deep breath, looked around, relaxed. She sat down next to him. "What do you have to think about?" she teased him.

"I think about things, Short-Stuff." He gave her a new nickname. "So what were you doing out there?"

"Looking for titans to kill…" There was no point in trying to lie.

Eren whistled. "Find any?"

"Just one. I don't know how many miles out. Took three hours to walk out, a little less to run back. After that scare, my heart might never recover." She laid back, legs hanging over the edge of the wall, staring at the clear blue sky, still breathing heavily.

"I thought _I_ was dumb. I want to kill all the titans more than anyone, but you'd never catch me out there without at least a horse and signal flares…"

Erna thought about that, watched the clouds go by and felt the gentle breeze on her face, drying her sweat and making her shiver. She answered him, "It's not about killing titans… Well not _just _that… I like the way it feels out there… I guess it's selfish."

Eren nodded. A few moments of silence passed. Then he said, "When we lived in Shiganshina, I dreamed about going outside the walls. I told everyone that being trapped inside the walls was the same as being kept like cattle… Then Maria fell… I joined the Survey Corps… We're in a weird place where we're outside the walls, but still in them. Our headquarters is in titan country, but we're still about fifty miles from Wall Maria where we started." He tapped his fist on the wall beneath them, "And then there's this fucking wall… I'm sick of them…"

"Is that why you come up here?" Erna closed her eyes and listened to the silence. After a minute, she knew he wasn't going to answer her. She asked, "Couldn't you just turn into a titan and go as far as you wanted?"

First he said, "That would be selfish." There was a long pause before he said, "It doesn't work that way anyway."

"How does it work?" Erna felt relaxed, half asleep, probably exhausted from the effort and the sun.

"I don't know." He leaned back on his elbows. "Hange and I were working on it, figuring it out, but every time I shifted it seemed to attract titans. It might have just been a coincidence, but we took a break from the experiments and stopped seeing groups of titans near headquarters."

"What's it like?" she asked dreamily.

"… I think I'm tired of answering that question…" He said quietly.

"Sorry."

He looked at her. Her eyes were still closed. She looked peaceful and pale. If she didn't keep talking to him, he wouldn't have felt sure that she wasn't dead. "What's it like when you're out there?"

"No thoughts… Time slows down… I don't feel happy or sad or angry…" She sighed contentedly.

"Doesn't even sound worth it." Eren thought she would describe something better than that. More like what he imagined he would feel if he ever got outside Wall Maria.

"It's a nice break. Feelings are hard. All this friendship and love and frustration, it's exhausting." Erna didn't understand how people could stand it.

Eren stood up. "You're weird," he said matter-of-factly. He gave her a nudge with his boot. "Let's go."

Erna got to her feet. She realized Eren had his 3DMG, but didn't use the cloak to hide it like she did, which piqued her curiosity, "How do you get up here without anyone noticing?"

"I just grab my 3DMG and if anyone asks I say I'm going to train. Walk out here, pick a spot where no one will see you, maneuver up. Simple." He shrugged.

"I went through the stable and rode my horse to that blind spot over there first." Erna pointed to where she'd left her saddle.

"I don't have to be _that_ careful. I'm not doing anything that could get me killed," he said.

"Do you think it's a good idea?" She wanted his advice.

He gave this some thought, "I don't know. The whole thing is stupid and dangerous. But if you try too hard to hide it, you look suspicious no matter how careful you are and if you don't try hard enough to hide it, you make it too easy to catch you."

"Very helpful. Thanks." Her voice was full of sarcasm and her face showed her disappointment.

"Well don't look at me. Want me to tell Armin and ask him what he thinks?" he asked sarcastically.

"I don't want you to tell _anyone_," she pouted.

Eren moved to the inside edge of the wall and looked down. "That's fair. Don't tell anyone I saw you up here if you get caught."

"Don't _tell _anyone and I won't _get_ caught." Erna stepped to the edge of the wall and faced out, heels just over the edge.

He smiled. She could be so calm and boring one moment and then a spitfire the next. "Just don't die out there," he was teasing, but he also meant it.

Erna brought her fist over her heart and smiled, "I promise." She stepped backwards and fell, shooting out a cable and saving herself just before reaching the ground.

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Erna tiptoed through the seemingly empty apartment. She was pretty sure Levi should be in his office, but it wasn't like he had a set schedule, he just ended up working late a lot. She made it to the bedroom and it was empty. She listened for the shower, but she didn't hear anything. Her heart finally slowed its frantic beat. She ripped off her cloak and took off the 3DMG faster than she had ever done in her life.

It didn't matter how carefully constructed and well-thought out a lie she came up with. She knew that if he saw her and asked her why she was wearing the 3DMG, no matter what she said, he would know if she was lying. So she very carefully put her gear back where she normally kept it, adjusting it carefully until she was satisfied that even someone as OCD as Levi wouldn't notice that it had been touched or moved. She put her cloak back in the closet and finally let out a deep sigh and relaxed.

She found that relaxing felt so much different after being highly stressed for a long period of time. It felt better. She felt light now. She peeled off her sweat-soaked clothes, went into the bathroom and started the shower running. She sat on the edge of the tub and looked at her legs as the water got warmer. She ran her fingers over her thigh, quietly and thoughtfully naming the parts that were now important to her, "quadriceps tendon… hamstring …" She squeezed her knee, "Patellar tendon… lateral collateral ligament…" She thought of the titan body as a machine capable of movement, put together somewhat like the human body. She had only studied very specific parts of Hange's anatomy book. She couldn't name or find any veins or nerves, she went with the assumption that those things weren't relevant to titans. But she learned every tendon, ligament, and muscle that was crucial to movement. Nothing mattered but that and the nape of the neck.

She stepped under the warm water, closed her eyes, and melted for a few minutes before running her fingers up her left arm and squeezing the inside of her upper arm just above the elbow, "Biceps brachii…" She took the longest shower of her life, part of the reason being she was pretty thoroughly gross, part of it being that the water actually felt good for once and she was starting to understand why people would shower longer than just enough to get clean, and part of it being for the sake of remembering and overlearning what she had taught herself.

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Erna peeked into Levi's office from the apartment door, and seeing only him in there, entered and shut the door behind her. He didn't look at her until she sat on his desk, next to the report he was writing. She was wearing the lingerie he had gotten her – matching bra and panties made of a deep red silk, patterned with tiny black hearts and trimmed with black lace. He liked dark colors against her skin, it made her look paler, like an illustration on fresh white paper with calligraphy brush strokes of thick black inky spirals for hair, stormy grey ink blot eyes, and a pale smudge of pink watercolor for lips.

He wanted to pull his eyes away from her so he could finish working, but the way she looked suggested to him that maybe a break was in order. "I hope you're not dumb enough to think you can just come in here and sit on my desk whenever you want." He pointed at the floor, wordlessly telling her to get down.

She pouted. "If you keep making me kneel on the stone floor I'm going to get rough knees…"

He exhaled an annoyed sigh. He hated letting her negotiate, but she was right. "Kneel on the desk then. You can at least be a useful paperweight." She brought her knees up and kneeled on the desktop. He looked her up and down, there was something different about her. He eyed her suspiciously, "You're cute…" he said it as if it were a bad thing. "What's the occasion?"

She shrugged, "I'm horny."

"You always are, you slut." He liked to watch her skin flush when he said humiliating things to her. He could almost see her heart beat harder. If he watched her intently enough he could notice the slight change in her breathing as the blood in her veins pumped faster.

"Yeah, but I feel like it's been forever since you last tried to murder me," she teased. She put her hands on her knees and leaned forward, accentuating her cleavage.

He creased his brow as if he were trying to remember, "Didn't I try to murder you yesterday?"

Erna pouted, "No, you only threatened to. You're so busy lately. It's been almost a whole forty-eight hours."

Levi turned back to the report in front of him, picking up his pen, "I wish I had the time and energy to fuck you the eight times a day you would require to stop being a pain in my ass, but as you just pointed out, I am busy."

"Can't you just choke me? Or whip me with the riding crop? Just for five minutes?" she pleaded.

Blood started rushing from his head to his cock, he fought to stay lucid. He told her firmly, "No. Because you say five minutes, but then you're wet and begging me to fuck you, I get suddenly inspired with new ideas for ways to nearly kill you, and then hours have passed and I still have a mountain of work to do here."

"But I promise not to beg… Well, after this… Please? I'll even settle for two minutes of the riding crop if you just hit me really hard…" She fidgeted and squirmed. She was so horny she couldn't even stay still.

"No. I was already tired and you're fucking exhausting. I swear you're really a succubus sent to kill me." He didn't feel that was much of an exaggeration. It was getting harder to say no to her begging. He felt like Mike for a moment because he could swear he could smell her pheromones.

"Just one minute," she insisted.

"How does trying to negotiate with me usually work out for you?" he asked coldly, keeping his eyes on his work, worried that if he looked at her pout he would lose his self-control.

Erna's shoulders slumped, "Not well…"

He couldn't help but look at her. He loved when she looked defeated, when she gave up. "I'll make you a deal, if you're really that horny." Her pout quickly turned into a smile. "Go find someone else willing and bring them back here and they can fuck you." The smile disappeared again.

"You're teasing me," she pouted again.

"I'm dead serious. I'm tired, I have work to do, and you're an insatiable whore."

"But I only want you," Erna whined. She leaned down to lick his neck, just barely getting to dart her tongue out before Levi's fingers found her nipple under the thin, silky fabric of her bra and gave it a pinch hard enough to make her gasp in pain and sit back up again.

He stood up from his chair so that his eyes were level with hers. "I know. And I own you." He pushed her hair away and lightly caressed the edge of her ear and felt her shudder. "You're my fuck-toy and I can share you with whoever I want." He ran his finger down her neck, between her tits, and over her stomach before resting between her legs and feeling how wet he made her. "And I enjoy making you do things you'd rather not." He curled his finger, brushing against her wet slit through her panties, enough to make her shake and tip forward and moan and whimper into his shoulder. "Besides, it gives me a chance to get a better look at the cute faces you make when you're conflicted and trying not to moan."

He stepped back and sat down again. Her face was flushed and her breathing was heavy. Her eyes were glazed over and she whined, unconsciously rocking her hips desperately when she realized he was done touching her. She closed her eyes and brought a hand up to tease her own nipple and moved her other hand down to rub her clit through her panties, trying to make herself come.

Levi opened the top drawer of his desk and took out the brown leather riding crop, giving her hand between her legs a quick, hard smack and bringing her back to reality. Her eyes focused again and she rubbed the back of her hand where he had hit her. He held the crop up, "Get someone to come back here and make you cum and I'll give you ten minutes with this."

"But I _can't_," she whined. She smiled and then pouted, hoping that would be enough to make him change his mind.

"You're a succubus, it shouldn't be that hard."

Erna didn't even know how to seduce a person, much less did she actually want anyone but Levi. But she desperately wanted some attention. She played along only for the sake of keeping him from turning back to his work and ignoring her. "I could get Eren again."

"Choose anyone but the brats on my squad. I see too much of them during the day."

She brought a hand up to her chin and tapped her forefinger against her lips, pretending to think. "What about Krista?"

Levi raised his eyebrows, for once he didn't look too bored, "That would be fucking adorable."

"I was only kidding! She's so innocent. Like an angel. It would feel even more wrong."

"That's the whole point." Levi leaned back in his chair and gave her an evil smirk. "Sex is so much better when you're defiling innocence."

Erna crossed her arms. "Well I'm not doing it."

"Fine." He returned to the report on his desk. "If you can't think of anyone, I'll just get Erwin. Maybe if he gets laid, he'll stop being such an insufferable prick." He caught her shudder out of the corner of his eye, so he asked, "Why are you so scared of him anyway? I'm the one you should really be afraid of." He laid the crop on the desktop and started writing again. His lingerie-clad distraction already cost him fifteen minutes he could have been working.

Erna answered, "Because… I don't know…" She thought for a moment. "You look at me like you'd like to fuck me and _then_ murder me. Erwin looks at me like he'd like to murder me and _then_ fuck me."

Levi smiled. He had to suppress a laugh. "That was very eloquent."

Erna tilted her chin up in mock propriety, "Thank you." Suddenly she heard the office door open and she jumped down to hide behind the desk, but not quickly enough to avoid being seen.

Levi looked up, his face unchanging from its baseline of casual boredom, "I was literally just talking about you."

Erwin closed the door. "I don't want to know why." He walked over. "You know, you have a lock on that door for a reason."

"I wouldn't have to use it if you shitty people possessed good enough manners to knock." Levi was kidding with him, of course. Of all people, Erwin knew he never answered the door either way. Erwin smiled, the rough spot in their working relationship had already been smoothed over the day before when Levi had admitted that it at least wasn't 'the shittiest idea ever' to reassign Erna and Erwin relented to concede that maybe the decision had been motivated in some small way by pettiness, and that he still had all the faith in the world in Levi's decisions. And Mike seemed to think that the girl could actually be more tactically-minded than previously thought if left to her own devices, so it was decided all around that the reassignment worked out better than intended or anticipated.

Levi tilted his head towards Erna's hiding spot behind the desk. "She's terrified of you, you know."

Erwin smiled warmly at Levi, but used his serious tone to say, "She should be."

Erna couldn't see either of their faces, so she didn't know they were fucking with her. So when Levi gave her a kick and lifted her up by her wrist, she made a small yelp that sounded something like an "eep!" as he scolded her, "He already saw you. Stop hiding and have some fucking dignity. You're not even naked."

When he was satisfied that she would stay standing and not try to hide again, Levi let go of her wrist and turned to Erwin again, "What do you want anyway?"

Erwin stole a quick glance at Erna, it was impossible not to look, luckily Levi didn't care and her eyes were fixed on the floor. He laid a form down on the desk, facing Levi. "Your requisition form for the upcoming mission."

"What's wrong with it?"

"You really don't know?" Erwin knew Levi was fucking with him. Probably in childish retaliation for the avalanche of paperwork he had to do if he wanted to move forward with the plans for Hange's research proposal.

Levi looked at the form. "It looks fine to me."

Erwin pointed to one of the lines under the 'quantity' column, "You may be surprised to learn that a 'shit-ton' is not a unit of measurement."

Levi played dumb, deadpanning, "You're kidding me."

Erwin moved his finger further down the column, adding, "It also turns out that the Supply Officers couldn't estimate the conversion rate for 'one metric fuck-ton' of gas canisters." Erna couldn't suppress a giggle. Erwin fixed a cold glare on her. "You think this is funny?"

Erna straightened up and wiped the smile from her face. "No, Sir!" She wished she could melt and disappear in a puddle on the floor.

Erwin turned back to Levi, sliding the form across the desk, "Care to fill in real numbers for how many signal flare cartridges and gas canisters you'll need?"

Levi shrugged and took the form. He did some calculations for how many people would be on the missions. While he did, Erwin let his eyes wander over Erna again. Her skin was flushed, especially her face. She kept her eyes on the floor. Her breathing was shallow as if she were trying to not breathe at all. She did seem to be fairly terrified of him. He smiled inwardly. He wouldn't want it any other way. He needed people under him to be a little terrified.

Levi slid the paper back over the desk, catching him staring, he said, "I'll let you borrow her if it'll make you stop being such a sexually frustrated prick."

Erwin tore his eyes away and picked up the requisition form, satisfied with the changes, he replied, "Don't be vile," and he left to bring it back to the Supply Officers.

Erna let out a deep breath once he shut the door behind him and she stared daggers at Levi. "I hope that was fun for you."

"Immensely. Go lock the door."

"I'm never going to be able to look him in the eye again," she groaned, going and locking the door before coming back to stand behind the desk again. "How can you be so much older than me and so immature?"

Levi took the riding crop off of the desk and held it up, simply saying, "Five minutes if you stop talking right now."

"Eight," she countered, "for putting me through that."

"Three minutes. You don't say another word. And you never try to negotiate with me again."

Erna mimed bringing a key to her mouth and locking it. Levi stood up and, taking her wrist and twisting it behind her back, lifting it up towards her shoulder blades until she cried out, he pushed her forward onto the desk. "I'm not going to make this fun for you." He hooked his thumb through the strap of her panties at her hip and pulled them down just far enough to expose her, not wasting any time, he brought the riding crop down hard on her ass and thighs ten times in quick succession. He made it a point to hit her much harder than she was used to or expecting.

Erna screamed and whimpered and instinctively tried to wriggle out of his grasp. He twisted her wrist harder and pressed it down into her back, holding her still on the desk. "Annoying little slut," he hissed at her. He slid the riding crop lightly from the dimples at the small of her back down over the curve of her ass, up and down waiting for her to relax. When he finally saw the tension leave her muscles, he lifted the crop and whipped her hard repeatedly on different parts of the sensitive skin covering the backs of her thighs.

Erna cried out, inhaled and exhaled sharp breaths, her legs went weak. If she had been standing, she would have fallen to her knees. Levi stopped to admire the stinging pink and red welts that were quickly rising, standing out against her otherwise milky-white thighs. He checked the time. "You have two minutes left, but I'm feeling generous. Did you want me to extend it?" He hoped she would have forgotten her deal to keep her mouth shut and give him a good reason to punish her further, but she obviously hadn't as she only shook her head 'no.'

Levi kept track of ticking seconds in his head. "Are you sure? What did you ask for? Wasn't it eight minutes?"

He brushed the tip of the crop over her puffed up welts and she winced. Her whole body tensed up again. He smiled. "I'm in more of a negotiating mood now." He picked a spot just above the point where her ass met her thighs and landed the next few hits all within one centimeter of each other.

Erna's screams became muffled and Levi looked to see that she was biting down on her free hand. He roughly took her wrist and pinned it behind her back with the other one. "No cheating. I want to be able to hear every noise you make." Erna whimpered and groaned, biting down on her lip instead. Levi kicked her feet apart, spreading her thighs as far as they could get with her panties pulled halfway down her legs. He unleashed a flurry of blows to her ass and thighs, sometimes hitting with the tip of the crop and sometimes the shaft, but making sure every blow landed on a welt or bruise he had already created.

Erna gasped and yelped and struggled. Every hit was a new shock to her system. She was unable to even register specifically where each one landed on her skin anymore, but with each her back and neck arched and contorted in agony. Her head felt dizzy with pain and pleasure, hot tears barely pricked the edges of her eyes and wet her eyelashes. She recognized the now familiar feeling of being just on the threshold where wanting him to stop would turn into wanting him to go on no matter how much it hurt.

Levi coaxed a few more screams from her, alternated by body-wracking sobs. His cock became painfully harder in proportion with her agony. He stopped for a moment to lean over her, brushing her earlobe with his lips and telling her quietly, "When you can't sit down tomorrow, remember that it's not a good idea to distract me from my work." He smirked as she whimpered and shuddered, bucking her hips against the desk. "Naughty whore." He brought the crop back and cut the air with one last blow to the reddest welt on her ass that he had avoided until now.

Erna lost herself, "Haa… ahh.. fuck!" She wanted to bite something, to rake her nails over the desktop, curl up into a ball, or rub her clit against the edge of the desk, anything. She ceased to care if he would punish her more for speaking or not, maybe even wanted him to. Pain and orgasmic bliss were all the same now. She was going to beg while she was still lucid enough to form words. "Please," was the only thing she was able to whimper out somewhat intelligibly.

Levi brushed the flat rectangle of leather at the tip of the crop over her clit and slid it gently over her wet lips. He held her still as she tried to rock against it and follow the touch with her hips as he took the crop away again, the tip now glistening with her wetness. She kept begging, her words running together. He mocked her. "Did you say something?" He held the crop up, trying to decide whether he should beat her with it or use it to make her come. "I thought our deal was that you wouldn't speak." He turned the crop over, and pressed the handle against her sex, playing with the idea of fucking her with it. "But I did go over time, so I guess we're both in the wrong," he admitted casually.

Levi let go of her wrists, which seemed perpetually bruised lately. He made a note to stop grasping them so hard and twisting them so much and let them return to their paper whiteness so that he could enjoy making new bruises again. She put her palms down on the desk. He warned her, "Don't you dare scratch my desk, you rabid slut." He took the handle of the crop in his hand again and gave the outside of her knee a tap, "Legs together." She complied and he slid the crop between her legs, pushing her panties down past her thighs and making them fall to the floor. She stepped out of them and he picked them up, balling them up in his fist. He put the crop down on the desk next to her and grabbed a fistful of her hair, tilting her head up and gagging her with the balled up fabric.

He took a few seconds to just stand over her and commit the image to memory. It wasn't often that he took the time and effort to cause her enough pain to make her eyes tear up. Something about her blood stung eyes and wet eyelashes stirred the animal side of him, made it harder to be cold and calculating and hold back enough to avoid traumatizing her too thoroughly. Her body and face gave her the appearance of helplessness, but her eyes locked on his defiantly, daring him to come up with new ways to hurt her. He felt like she was almost taunting him with the fact that she would take it all gladly and still feel hungry with desperate need for him no matter what new cruelty he could imagine and carry out. Wordlessly telling him that on the surface it might seem obvious that the balance of power was tipped completely to his side, but underneath, if one cared to think about the complexity of the relationship, it was really her who easily manipulated him into giving her what she wanted. It just happened that what she wanted was to be broken and forced to submit.

And what he wanted was to make her scream and writhe at his touch. He moved behind her, and put a hand on either side of her waist, holding her as he rocked forward, rubbing up against her. He felt her tense under his fingers. She was stock still and whimpering, caught between the simultaneous and equally strong urges to pull away from him to escape the pain or lean back into him to increase the pleasure.

He could feel the heat coming off of her skin even through his clothes. Nudging her legs apart, he pulled her waist and rubbed the fabric covering his cock over her welts again. He smiled as he watched her fingers clench, hooking into claws, wanting to dig into the wood of the desk, but she caught herself and curled them into fists, digging her nails into her palms instead. He leaned over her, pressing into her harder. He decided he liked the sound of her screaming just as much when it was muffled by a well-placed gag.

"I should just fuck you like this." He pulled her against his pelvis as her body quivered with sobs at the thought of him fucking her from behind. "Nnnh, you feel so good when you cry… and when you come… I wonder if I can make you do both at the same time," he brought a hand down from her waist to rest his fingers on her clit, holding them still, letting her decide if she would rock against them or hold still to decrease the pain being caused by his pants rubbing over her sensitive, fiery skin.

Erna wrestled with her options, but in the end couldn't help trying an experimental roll of her hips, rubbing against his fingers, making sinking heat pool in her abdomen and a fuzzy, dull whiteness cloud her head, but simultaneously shocking her body out of the building orgasm with the intense pain of the friction against her puffy, stinging welts. Her moan turned to a sob of pain and frustration.

"I'm undecided," Levi casually deadpanned as if it were all very boring, "I could fuck you right here like this," he rubbed his pelvis against her again, eliciting another moan and sob from her, "or I could take you to the bedroom and make you ride my cock," he took his fingers off of her clit and picked up the crop from the desk, "so that I can have better access to use this to create some new welts on those sensitive little tits of yours." He reached up and unclasped her bra as if his mind was already made up.

He stepped back, giving her a break from the friction. He asked her mockingly, "Do you have a preference? Because they sound like equally good options to me." He moved to look into her eyes. They were welled up with tears, but feral. "Oh right, you can't speak," he said as if he had forgotten about the gag. He went behind her again and pulled her up by her shoulders, turning her around to stand and face him. Her knees buckled, but he caught her around her waist before she could fall, bending down and lifting her over his shoulder in one easy motion. "I guess we'll just have to try both until I can come up with something better."

Upon reaching the bedroom he tossed her onto the bed on her back and she gasped in pain, even the soft sheets hurt against her skin. Levi tossed the crop onto the bed next to her. He deliberately kept his clothes on and got onto the bed, flipping her over and lifting her to her knees, ass in the air. She spit out the gag and tried to support her torso with her shaking arms, but he pushed her face down into the mattress. He didn't bother to replace the gag, it made no difference to him.

"Little fucking bitch." He took off his belt and unbuttoned his pants enough to free his cock. He wouldn't be able to get deep inside her with the clothes in the way, but it was worth it to cause her that much more pain with the friction of the fabric. He didn't waste any time, positioning himself between her legs and finally guiding his cock inside of her.

Erna took fistfuls of the sheets and bit her lip, hissing at the burn of his touch. Her body quivered, he hooked an arm under her waist to hold her up against him, to keep her from pulling away. He leaned forward and rolled his hips, increasing her pain before she could get used to it, pushing his cock a little further into her and teasing her, "You manipulative little slut. This is exactly what you wanted isn't it?" She only moaned in response, so he brought a hand back and slapped her ass. She screamed. He asked again, "Isn't it?" He ended the question with another cruel grind of his hips against her thighs.

"Ha… Hai, Captain Levi!" she screamed. She might not have planned this part, but nonetheless, it was turning out to be exactly what she wanted.

He hummed his satisfaction at her answer and then growled as he drew his hips back, pulling out of her almost completely before roughly sheathing himself inside her, repeating the motion again and again, gripping her ass with his hands, holding her up to keep her from being pounded down into the mattress. "Nnngh… such a bad whore… always begging me to punish you… never letting me get any work done…"

She sobbed and gasped with every thrust, sometimes screaming, sometimes moaning, sometimes making noises that were a strange combination of both until the line between the pain and pleasure disappeared and every thrust of his cock and slap of his thighs against hers made her moan in ecstasy despite the dull, throbbing pain it brought.

When she stopped screaming and sobbing, Levi smacked her ass again, hard enough to leave a handprint, hard enough to make her mind remember what pain was and cause her to let out a shrill scream. He buried his cock as deep in her as he could only to pull out, slap her ass, and thrust in again as she registered the pain and gasped. He felt her muscles spasm around his cock, trying to draw him in. "Unh… Fuck… You naughty… unh… bitch…" He slapped her ass again, aiming for his previous handprints, making her scream and tense her muscles. She made him feel like an animal. He had to pull out to keep from coming. He took a few deep, ragged breaths, willing himself to calm down.

He husked at her, between breaths, "You have such a tight, wet little cunt." He held her hips and thrust into her quickly again, stabbing inside her, making her moan. "You'd be a perfect fuck-toy if you weren't such a needy slut."

His words set her off. She wanted him to objectify her, use her body, treat her like she was nothing. She wanted him to make her feel like she only existed for his pleasure. She rocked her hips back, trying to get him deeper inside her, but he held her, not letting her get what she wanted that easily. He kept thrusting into her at his own pace, every humiliating thing he could think of to say to her bringing her closer to climax than anything he could do to her physically.

He almost laughed as she desperately tried to buck her hips back with his thrusts and fuck herself on his cock, "You like that?" He slapped her ass again, making stinging pain shoot through her, "Scream for me."

He didn't have to tell her to scream, it was automatic. He went on fucking her, a little faster, "You want more of this?" He slapped her ass again and she screamed, "Hai! Please!" He pulled out of her completely again. She whimpered and leaned back, unconsciously trying to get him back inside her. He held the base of his cock and smacked one of her red welts with it and teased her, "You're not supposed to enjoy your punishment."

She sobbed and whimpered in frustration; fresh tears wet the sheet underneath her. She brought a hand back to massage her clit, he watched and let her get maddeningly close to coming before he pulled both of her arms behind her, pushing her face harder against the mattress so that her frantic begging was muffled. He held her wrists behind her back with one hand as he took his cravat off with the other.

"Such a disobedient, worthless fuck-toy," he growled at her as he tied her arms behind her at the elbows, "Did you really think you deserved to come?" He tied the knot tightly to wrench her shoulders back painfully and he lifted her up so that she was on her knees, back straight, shoulders back and perky little tits on display.

Levi got up, and moved from the bed to take off his Survey Corps jacket and hang it up. The only sound in the room now was her ragged breathing, almost growling. He stared at her as he took his shirt off, undoing buttons slowly as if he were just getting ready for bed and not about to fuck her savagely. Her eyes were filled with animal lust and aggression. He knew he had gone too far in teasing and torturing her. Now she was going to make him work to break her.

Levi casually took off his boots and the rest of his clothes, and came back to the bed, putting his face close to hers. "You're mine… I own you… And if I want you to come, I'll let you."

She could only growl at him, intense sexual frustration deadening the part of her mind that controlled language or any feeling more subtle than wanting to get fucked and achieve orgasm. He picked up the balled-up panties she had spit out and stuffed them back in her mouth. He wasn't worried about her begging anymore. Now he was only concerned that she looked liable to clamp her teeth down on him and not let go.

Levi got on the bed, sitting back against the headboard, he pulled her on top quickly to straddle him and held her hips until she found her balance without her arms free. He let go of her hips and held the base of his cock steady for her, watching her quietly and intently as she slid herself down his length. She made very muffled, but satisfied moans and mewling sounds and started to relax as she fucked herself on his cock, picking her own pace and trying to grind her clit against him every few strokes.

When she finally closed her eyes, Levi reached for the discarded riding crop. He brought the thumb and forefinger of his other hand to his mouth, wetting them with saliva and using them to rub, tease, and pinch her nipples, making her moan and relax more before he snapped the tip of the crop against the tip of one pink nipple and then the other. Her eyes snapped open in surprise and even with the gag, she screamed louder than he thought she would. She stopped moving and whimpered and whined at the pain.

Levi placed a couple of smacks on each of her perky tits and reminded her, "Don't stop riding that cock if you want me to let you come."

He used the crop to make her writhe. She rode him with no discernible rhythm, deep waves of pain interrupting her concentration whenever she got going. He smacked every curve of her and felt her walls tense and clamp around his cock, listened to her moan or whimper through the gag – it was hard to tell which. He whipped her nipples again and watched her eyes slowly change from feral and aggressive to desperate and pleading. He gently slid the crop between her tits and up her throat to brush her earlobe with the tip. She picked up a rhythm again, eyes heavy-lidded with lust peeking out from under her wet, black eyelashes.

Levi lightly caressed her jawline with the tip of the crop. "Are you going to be good?"

Erna craned her neck, exposing her throat and leaning into the crop as an attention-starved cat would lean into a gentle hand. Levi rewarded her with a few bucks of his hips, penetrating her deeper than she could get on her own. He brushed the crop down and over her nipples again and she winced and bit her lip, but her eyes remained submissive and pleading, so he put the crop down and removed the gag from her mouth. Erna hummed appreciatively as he brought his hands to her waist, holding and guiding her as he rewarded her submission with long, deep strokes of his cock.

Erna leaned down carefully maintaining her balance to avoid falling and pressing her tits against him. She nuzzled her cheek against the crook of his neck, moaning and purring for him.

She didn't necessarily deserve it, but Levi brought a hand to the small of her back and pulled her down anyway. She gasped at the contact with her freshly whipped flesh. He quickly sat up and flipped them over so that she was now underneath him.

Erna's body writhed. She could barely handle all of the sensations. If she could stay still, the sheets against her ass and the way her arms were pulled too far back and pinned underneath her would have hurt less, but she had no control. Levi took the gag out of her mouth, tossed it aside, and pulled her legs up and apart, keeping them out of the way as he fucked her harder, distracting her from the pain. In an instant her body forgot everything but how good it felt to be taken.

Her eyes glazed over. She almost couldn't keep them open. Her face flushed an adorable shade of pink as she moaned his name. He flashed an evil smirk and he leaned down, slowly bringing his tongue to the curve of the underside of one of her tits and licking up slowly before taking her still freshly stinging nipple in his mouth and sucking on it with a gentleness completely incongruous with the aggressive, hard thrusts of his hips. She arched her back, trading the pain in her arms for the pain of his tongue.

"Nnh, Levi, please…" she was utterly helpless, desperate and pathetic with lust for him.

He drew himself up, never breaking his rhythm, he looked down at her with mocking cruelty, reveling in breaking her. His voice was deep and husky, "Do you enjoy being my submissive little toy? Do you like being humiliated and used for my pleasure like a mindless doll?" She couldn't find the words to answer him, but she moaned and her body went rigid. He gave her permission because he could see that she was about to anyway, "You can come now."

Erna's body shuddered and convulsed in waves of muscle spasms. Her breath stopped and every muscle tensed for a moment as heat flushed her entire body and her consciousness temporarily left her. Her orgasm felt like a storm rolling through her and then drifting away. Her muscles melted into deep relaxation and she panted as Levi gave a few more thrusts before lowering her legs and pulling out. He straddled her torso and placed his cock between her tits, pushing them together and sliding his cock up and down between them. She gasped at the pain, her eyes flying open in sudden shock.

The red, swollen marks left on her flesh made the skin of her tits radiate with a heat that rivaled that of her wet little cunt. Levi couldn't hold back when she gave him that oh-so-innocent look of shock. His hips jerked and he took his shaft in his hand, giving it a single tug before shooting a jet of hot cum over her tits and letting another spatter over her face before grabbing her hair and forcing her mouth open to swallow the rest. He forgot himself, panting and growling like a rabid dog, telling her to taste herself on his cock, take it and swallow all of it, pushing his cock down her throat until he was drained and his head became oversensitive. Her tongue pressed him against the roof of her mouth, sending shockwaves through him. He shuddered and jerked his hips back, pulling out of her mouth and gasping, "Shit!" as he turned and fell onto the bed next to her, staring up at the ceiling and panting. He muttered the expletive in disbelief a few more times as reason and logic took over again.

As Erna caught her breath, and the endorphins melted away, she felt the strong, dull, throbbing pain in all the places her skin had been abused, but she decided she could ignore it. Her head swam. She didn't know if she could move if she'd wanted to.

Erna nudged Levi with her knee. He was still breathing heavy, but he moved to his side to look at her. "Soo… I'm going to assume that you don't want me to move…" she was referring to the fact that her tits and face were splattered with his cum and if she moved at all there was a good chance of it dripping onto the bed and maybe he should get her a towel or something. He gathered that, but he still just looked at her for a few seconds. A streak of cum had landed over her one eyelid, so she could only look at him with one eye while she had to keep the other shut tightly as if she were winking at him and it was fucking adorable. He sighed, "Shit… Don't move…" He put a hand on her shoulders and tilted her up just enough to untie her arms. As he got up and went to the bathroom, he told her, "If any of that gets on the bed, I'll kill you."

She wanted to shout at him that it was entirely his fault, but she was too exhausted. He came back and tossed a warm, damp washcloth at her. She cleaned herself off enough that she could get up and go wash her face thoroughly. When she came back out he was on his back on the bed again, still catching his breath, eyes closed and his arm resting over his forehead. She stood there and admired him for a few seconds letting her eyes roam over his beautifully defined muscles before she hopped onto the bed and straddled his hips, teasing, "I'm not tired at all if you want to go again, old man."

Levi didn't even open his eyes as he crossed his arm to her waist, swiftly pushing her off and making her fall to the mattress next to him. "This is what I'm talking about with your 'five minutes' bullshit. Fucking evil succubus. You're not allowed in my office anymore."

Erna pouted and whined, "Anything but that."

Levi ignored her whining. "And if you keep acting like a fucking animal, I'm going to get you a collar and a leash."

Erna thought about that as she turned onto her side to minimize contact between her welts and the sheets. "I don't hate that idea."

He gave her nipple a light pinch and made her squeal as he got up. He picked up his clothes and started getting dressed again. Erna sat up on her knees, "Where are you going?"

He didn't pause. "I'm going back to my office to finish the work that I probably could have had done hours ago if you weren't such an incessantly horny slut."

"Can I come?" She asked eagerly.

"Absolument pas… petite pute…"

She tilted her head like a confused dog, "What's that?"

He took his cravat off the bed. "It's French for _Fuck no._"

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_Dining Hall, Breakfast, Next Day…_

Levi, Hange, and Mike sat around a table, holding an early meeting both to catch Mike up on the details of Hange's tentative research project and to work on filling in any considerations they had missed so far in preparation.

"So this is the list of equipment I'll need. I think we can fit it all into two wagons, but if we need space I have a second list of things that are inessential and can be left behind," Hange was talking fast and pointing at different jotted down items with her pen.

Levi scribbled something down on a new sheet of paper. "This is what I'll need." He exchanged his list for Hange's.

She gave him a puzzled look. "There are only two things on here. Bleach and black tea…"

"That's all I need…" Levi picked his teacup up by the rim and took a sip.

There were some hushed gasps and general commotion near the entrance to the dining hall and they turned to see Erna walking down the main aisle between tables with a cold, dead look in her eyes and an ultra-hard steel blade in each hand. She wasn't wearing the 3DMG, but she held the blades from the ends, hooking her thumbs through the holes where the handgrips would attach.

Hange looked on, jaw dropped and eyes wide. Mike looked at Levi and calmly asked, "Should we do something about that?"

Levi just shrugged casually, "Fuck if I know."

…

Sasha sat conveniently at the head of the table, her back to the main aisle of the dining hall, so that she saw her friends eyes just begin to widen in shock before she could see or hear Erna quickly and lightly come up behind her. Before she could ask what they were looking at, twin steel blades were crossed at her throat. Because of their height difference, Erna only had to lean down a little to whisper in Sasha's ear, "Where… Is… It?"

Sasha was too shocked to answer. Connie stood up, but before he could even say anything, Erna straightened one arm out, pointing a blade at his chest and raising her voice, "Are you her accomplice? Tell me where it is or I'll slit your girlfriend's throat."

Mikasa and Eren stood up, about to do something to neutralize the situation, but before they made a move, Levi came up behind Erna and hooked his arm around her neck, squeezing her into a chokehold.

"Oi, hands off my squad," he deadpanned as she struggled for breath. Mike took the blunt sides of the blades in his hands and calmly pulled them away as her arms went limp. He placed them on the table. Sasha slid out of her chair into a quivering mess on the floor. Everyone else stood, watching in shock and disbelief.

Levi loosened his hold so that Erna could take in enough air to stay conscious, but not enough that she could slide out of his grasp. She brought her hands up to clutch his arm and tried to pull it away, "Let me go! I'll kill her!"

Mike knelt down and sniffed Sasha. He gave her a look and held out his hands. "Hand it over…"

Sasha was still shaking, but she managed to take out the two large mason jars of coffee beans from under her jacket. She gave them to Mike and he put them on the table.

Erna was spitting like a crazed demon, "I knew it! You bitch!" Levi hugged his arms around her waist and picked her up as she kicked and screamed. He spun her around and set her down, quickly slapping her hard across the face. That snapped her out of it more or less. She stopped screaming at least.

Jean gave Mike a confused look, "How did you know?"

Mike nodded towards Levi, "We went through pretty much the same thing with him a long time ago when the kitchen ran out of black tea."

Levi turned to Sasha. "Twenty laps for stealing food again."

Connie muttered, "Coffee technically isn't food."

Levi pointed at him, "Twenty laps for being a fucking smartass." Then he pointed at Mikasa and Eren, "And twenty laps for you two for not stepping in sooner."

Eren protested, "We were just about to!"

Levi turned back to Erna. She was glaring at Sasha. When Sasha collected her wits about her enough to turn and look at Erna, she grabbed Levi's shirt, closing her eyes and pulling him down into an aggressive, lip-crushing kiss.

For a very brief moment he actually looked surprised, but then he just shrugged and closed his eyes, letting her snake her tongue through his lips and assault his mouth as he wrapped his fingers in her hair and returned her aggression, kissing her back hungrily. After a few seconds, he finally bit down on her lower lip until she whimpered and cried out. He released her lip from his teeth and she pulled her face away. He gave her a cold, serious look. "I'll deal with you later." He looked at his squad, "Did I not just tell you four to run laps? Why the fuck are you shitty brats still standing here?"

Eren and Mikasa quickly filed out. Connie took Sasha's hands to pull her up off the floor. Sasha whined, "My brain just broke," but Connie pulled her up and dragged her away before Levi could add more laps to their punishment.

Mike stood in front of Erna, saying simply, "You can come with me."

As Erna followed Mike out, Levi called after him, "When you're done with her, bring her to Hange. I want her tested for rabies."

About halfway to Mike's office, Erna remembered and turned around, "I didn't get my coffee."

Mike grabbed her hand and pulled her along a couple steps, "A day without it will do you good. Caffeine addiction can be a terrible thing."

Erna whined, "I won't make it… I'll die…"

They reached Mike's office and he closed the door behind them. He went to the built-in shelves along one wall and took down a beautifully crafted chess board which he set on the desk.

Erna tilted her head, "What's that?"

"Chess." He took out the pieces and began setting them up.

"What's it for?" She really didn't know. She'd never seen a chess board in her life.

"It's a game I'm going to teach you so that you can learn to think things through."

Erna crossed her arms stubbornly and huffed, "I think things through. I went to the kitchen, there wasn't any coffee, so I went to Sasha's room and kicked the door in and the coffee wasn't in there, so I went back to my room…"

"And then?" Mike finished setting up the pieces.

She tried to remember, but couldn't. "… and then I guess everything sort of went black." Erna shrugged.

Mike motioned to the chair at the other side of the desk, "Sit."

Erna sheepishly brought her hand to the back of her head, "Actually, I'd rather stand if it's all the same to you."

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**(A/N) I hope the content makes up for the length of this chapter. I tried to kind of condense everything as much as possible, but it's still like twice the length of a normal chapter for me. Then again, maybe you like long chapters. I don't know. So, I'm sorry, or, you're welcome. **

**Thank you for reading this. I love you for it.**


	18. Domesticity

**(A/N) Short scenes of domesticity at Survey Corps headquarters on a relatively drama-free day.  
As you may have noticed in the last chapter, I keep flirting with the idea of groupsex/sharing/voyeur!Levi. I want that to happen, but cannot decide on the configuration, i.e. what character/s to include and how and why. Ideas and suggestions in reviews or PM's would be very much appreciated. Help me help you get off. Oh, and while we're on the subject, there is smut at the end of this chapter, so ya know, skip to that if you want. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan or its characters. I only own my OC and this stuff I've written. So I have that going for me, which is nice.**

_7:30 am._

"Would you just apologize?" Mikasa tiredly asked Erna. This was becoming a point of contention every time they ate together ever since Erna had threatened and come close to killing Sasha.

Erna looked right past Mikasa, fixing a cold glare on Sasha who sat as far from her as possible at the other end of the table, "Why should I have to apologize? She wanted me to tell her who I was sleeping with, I told her the truth, and she stole my coffee. Where's _my_ apology?"

"At least admit that you overreacted." Eren said, just beginning to lose his patience.

"I don't believe I did. It's not like I would have hurt her." Erna reached for a roll. The moment she moved, Sasha flinched.

"Well how was she supposed to know that?" Mikasa said soothingly, as if she were dealing with children. Which was not far off from the truth.

"She's not supposed to know. That's the point. If she knew I wasn't going to hurt her, she wouldn't have felt threatened enough to tell me what she did with the coffee." Erna replied, exasperated with the obviousness of it.

Mikasa offered a compromise, "Will you apologize if Sasha apologizes first?"

Sasha spoke up before Erna could answer, "I'm not apologizing for anything! It's not my fault she had a psychotic break and finally snapped!"

"Actually, it might be your fault." Armin reminded her. She turned to him, eyes wide and surprised that he didn't agree with her, so he clarified, "You _were_ picking on her a lot."

"No more than I would pick on any of you," Sasha pouted.

"Bullshit," Erna hissed under her breath.

"Sasha just picks on you because you're her friend, Erna." Mikasa closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"I honestly could not care less. I just wanted the coffee back," Erna said, though she had really enjoyed the reprieve in Sasha's teasing since she had threatened to kill her. It was a bonus.

Sasha, lips still in full pout mode, said, "Coffee is gross anyway, it's not even food."

"You're gross!" Erna put her hands on the table and was about to stand up from her chair, but Mikasa put a hand on her shoulder and shoved her back down.

Eren got up, going over to Sasha's seat. He took her hand and pulled her over to the other end of the table as he said, "I'm sick of having this conversation. You two are going to kiss and make up right now and we're never going to mention this again." Mikasa stood up and Eren pushed Sasha down into her vacated seat next to Erna.

Erna crossed her arms and tightened her lips into a straight line as if she were going to refuse to breathe until she got her way. Mikasa gave her a quick smack upside the head. Erna uncrossed her arms and looked at Sasha with murderous eyes, but filled her voice with so much sweet sincerity that it could only be interpreted as sarcasm, "I'm very sorry that I pretended I was going to kill you, Sasha. Next time I threaten to kill you it will be for real."

"Good enough," Mikasa sighed.

Sasha gritted her teeth. "I'm sorry I stole that disgusting black sludge that we now know is the only thing that keeps you from snapping and killing all of us."

"Everybody satisfied?" Eren asked.

"I thought they were supposed to kiss and make up," Connie raised and lowered his eyebrows and gave them a lascivious grin.

Sasha stood up and went back to her seat, "You're a pervert."

Erna looked Connie dead in the eye, making a slashing motion with her finger across her throat and mouthing the words _You're next._

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_9:45 am_

Erna emerged from the other side of the forest outside headquarters. Normally by the end of the hour long walk/jog through the dense forest path, she would have had her head cleared, but as she got used to her routine of sneaking over the walls the adrenaline rush came to her slower. It was getting harder to leave things behind.

As she walked on, through grassy fields, speckled with wildflowers, the beauty of which was lost on her, she struggled to push away thoughts of her friends and how annoying they were, feelings of frustration at how busy Levi was lately, utterly normal things to people who were used to life and having thoughts and feelings about others they cared about in general.

She kept walking, looking up at the clouds and wondering at how it could be so difficult to make your mind go completely blank – a problem, though she didn't know it, that people regularly run into when trying to meditate.

She finally heard a titan, turned in the direction of the booming sound of its running, and saw it off in the distance. As it got closer, she unsheathed her blades, holding them out at her sides and standing perfectly still she whispered, _Where were you?_

She enjoyed the feeling of her heart pounding in her chest. Time slowed down. The giant thing lunged at her, throwing itself to the ground and sliding teeth-first towards her instead of using its hands to try and grab her to bring her to its mouth. She didn't move to jump out of the way until she could feel it's hot, humid breath.

Erna jumped to the right, turned left, shot her hooks into the titan's prone shoulders, reeling in and slicing the nape of its neck, and landing to the side in a fluid, ballet-like motion before it even made an attempt to get up or lunge again. Part of her wished she had strung it along a little longer, but her practical side couldn't resist a quick, efficient kill.

"Tch…" She put her blades back in their scabbards as she watched the smoldering titan body with contempt. She wasn't consciously aware of it, but she was angry at the thing for being so easy to kill. She turned away and kept walking.

_10:22 am_

Erna held her blades tightly as a 10 meter titan charged at her. She waited, muscles tensed, mind coiled like a spring. Titans had no subtlety or guile. They couldn't fake you out. She watched its shoulders and could tell which hand it was going to use to reach for her. Just as it began to bend over and reach down, she aimed her hooks, shot the line into its inner forearm, reeled herself in quickly, feet landing on the monster's hot skin, she took off running up the arm to just above the elbow. As she made a clean cut through the relatively small muscle near the bicep that controlled the elbow's ability to flex, she withdrew the hooks, shooting them into the opposite arm and reeling herself towards it as the damaged one fell to hang limply at the titan's side. Her arc was too low. As she flew midway past the titan's waist, it was able to reach for her with the hand that still had mobility.

As the hand came towards her, Erna thought, _This is new_. She had never ended up in a titan's hand before. Before she smacked into its palm, she raised her arms straight above her head. It closed its fingers around her, but she still had her arms free. She waited for it to bring her closer to its gaping mouth. When she was at a good throwing distance, she hit the release on the left handgrip to detach the blade as she flicked her arm, throwing and watching the blade sink into the titan's eyeball. It growled in pain, and as it squeezed her in its hand, she heard her left shoulder pop just before she felt the mind-blowing pain. She screamed as the titan thrashed, its opposite arm still hanging uselessly at its side and she slashed and hacked at its thumb with the blade in her right hand until it dropped her.

She was finally able to withdraw her cables from the arm as she fell and when they were fully retracted back to her 3DMG, she flipped over in her free fall, aimed for the titan's knee and pulled herself in, releasing the cables , shooting them into the back of the opposite leg, slashing the quadriceps tendon on her way past, slashing the patellar ligament behind the opposite knee, releasing her hooks, turning around and shooting them into the front of the leg, slashing the lateral collateral ligament on the way past in a figure eight between the legs, cutting into everything she knew made the knees and legs work in a matter of two seconds and letting herself fall to the ground as the titan fell forward, now divested of the coordinated use of one arm and both legs.

As she bent her knees and hit the ground, the impact sent a jolt of unbearable pain through her dislocated shoulder and she winced, going down to her knees, doubling over in pain. Had she thought about it, she would have found it ironically funny that she and the titan were now in pretty much the same position, left arms both hanging uselessly, except the titan would heal much faster than she would.

_Fucker!_ She hissed through clenched teeth. She stood herself up, shot up onto the shoulder, calmly stalking up to the nape of the neck and making one cut with her right arm and then another to finish the slice. She slid down and walked a little away to avoid the heat of the steam from the quickly smoldering titan body. She stood about twenty feet away and waited. A missing blade would be impossible to explain. She waited for the thing to smolder and smoke and evaporate away so that she could retrieve her blade from its eye.

Blinding pain shot from her shoulder in a fast track straight to her brain. She breathed deeply, telling herself to ignore it.

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_4:59 pm._

Erna used more gas than she would have liked getting back up the wall, but she was in too much pain to give it any thought.

She held her left forearm with her right hand, her injury hidden under her green cloak. She made it to Mike's office without any confrontation, but when she got there, he was going over something on the desk with Armin. She tried to keep her face stoic as possible as they noticed her and she asked, "Armin, could I talk to Mike alone for a couple minutes?"

"Oh, um, of course…"

Armin walked past her and she said, "I won't be more than a few minutes." She gently pushed the door closed behind him with her foot.

When she turned around, Mike raised an eyebrow at her. She walked closer to the desk and winced as she let go of her forearm and brought her right hand up to undo the clasp that held the cloak closed, letting it fall to the ground. "Could you do me a favor and just fix this for me real quick?" She said it and nodded at her shoulder as casually as if she were asking him to loosen a jar lid.

Mike's face didn't change as he looked at her shoulder. He didn't need to examine it to see that it was dislocated. He didn't ask her how it happened, he just said, "I'll show you how to do it yourself in case it happens again."

"First," he said as he opened a desk drawer and pulled out the familiar bottle of whiskey and a glass, "Drink this." He filled the rocks glass almost to the top. Erna scrunched her face up. She was about to protest that she could handle it without the liquid painkiller, but he held it out to her, saying, "It helps…"

She wished she could use her other hand to hold her nose as she gulped the burning liquid down. She put the glass back on the desk and shook her head quickly as if she could shake out the taste and muttered, "Devil whiskey…"

Mike put the bottle and glass back in the desk and told her, "Let that sink in a minute." He went through the door between the office and his apartment.

Erna stood still, concentrating on her breathing as her face began to feel warm. Mike came back with a small, clean towel, twisting it between his hands and holding it out to her, "Bite down on this."

Erna took the towel in her teeth and Mike showed her how to slip the ball of her shoulder back into its socket, holding his elbow out at a 90 degree angle and raising it slowly. Erna imitated him, except with more hyperventilating and muffled cursing.

Mike watched her calmly. "You need to relax your muscles. Don't try to do it fast, it won't work."

Erna relaxed her arm, breathing deeply, trying to think about things other than the pain. She concentrated on her heartbeat, brought her elbow out again, willed her muscles to relax, and brought her arm up until her shoulder popped back into place. Her jaw clenched and she screamed _Fucking shit! _ into the towel, glad for its presence and utility in both muffling her screams and keeping her from biting her tongue clean in half.

She gave him back the towel and he put it in the desk drawer with the whiskey. She moved her arm a little, testing out its mobility. Mike squinted at her, "Rest that. We have a mission in two days… You'll need both your arms."

Erna snapped at him like a bratty teenager, "Tch. I know." She was frustrated that she'd needed his help at all and now it just felt like he was rubbing it in. She picked up her cloak and put it back on, covering up her 3DMG again. Mike barely reacted to her snotty attitude. He simply nodded and walked past her to open the office door, motioning for Armin to come back in.

Erna looked down at the desk, noticing what Mike and Armin had been going over. It didn't look like anything to her. "What's this?"

Armin lit up, going over to the desk and pointing at the drawings on the paper, "It's just an idea to kind of tweak our current formation for reconnaissance missions."

Erna tilted her head in confusion. He explained, "The current formation we use works really well if we assume that every team member has the same level of ability, but that usually isn't the case. Especially in our squad, there is a high level of disparity in skill since besides you, me, and Jean, the members haven't even really seen a titan yet. So I was thinking," he pointed to the head of the arrow formation, "Mike would be the point of the arrow here, leading. Jean and I would be to the right and left of him with the newer members fanning out in our usual squad formation."

Erna interrupted, "Where am I?"

Armin pointed to a dot that looked like the beginning of the shaft of the arrowhead. "That's you. We can put you here and you'll have a better position to respond to signal flares." He drew lines from her dot to the other dots making the wings, "You'll be about equidistant from each of these members, able to get to them quickly, but further from Mike, Jean, and I, who are less likely to need your help."

Erna glared at the paper. "…I'm a babysitter."

Armin tried to soothe her obvious ire, "You'll be a floater… You're the fastest of us and the best at dispatching titans…" She was still frowning. Since appealing to her vanity didn't work, Armin appealed to what he knew motivated her the most, "You'll be the most useful this way. It's the most efficient way for you to keep people safe."

Mike gave her a meaningful look, "Just don't be reckless."

Erna glared at him. "I won't... I'm not." She huffed and stalked out of the office.

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_5:30pm_

Erna had been sitting in the grass, watching the horses graze. Now she was lying down because it felt better on her shoulder. She felt… bad. She felt guilty for being a brat with Mike, when all he did was help her and give her the freedom to make her own decisions. She didn't like feeling this way. She also was not aware of the real concept or purpose of apologizing though she had been forced to practice it earlier in the day. So she was not aware that a simple apology would alleviate the guilt she was feeling.

She closed her eyes. When she opened them a few minutes later, Sasha was standing over her. Her heart nearly stopped. "Holy shit! What are – Oh my god. I didn't even hear you!" She sat up quickly.

Sasha just shrugged and sat next to her. "I can be very quiet when I need to be."

They sat in silence for a minute. Sasha opened her jacket and held out a small paper bag to Erna, "Here."

Erna gave her a suspicious look, but took the bag. "What is it?"

"Dehydrated apple slices. For your horse, since you don't seem to care about food."

"You stole them." Erna wasn't upset, more impressed.

"In the middle of the day, too. It was very difficult." Sasha let out a breath as if she were just now realizing what a relief it was that she didn't get caught. "Anyway, I _am_ sorry that I gave you such a hard time."

"Why are you apologizing? I'm the one who went all crazy." Erna said begrudgingly, hating to admit it, as she opened the bag and gave Sasha an apple slice.

Sasha gladly took it and popped it in her mouth, "Because I'm much more mature than you," she said with her mouth full.

Erna gave her a serious look and said stoically, "It's horrifying to think that you may be right." She whistled for Raven and pushed herself up with her good arm to stand. Sasha stood up too. When Raven slid to a stop in front of them she sniffed Sasha who gave her a playful rub behind the ear.

Erna looked on in disbelief. "She's not trying to kill you."

"Nah, I'm good with animals. You have to be when you're a hunter." Raven huffed and flared her nostrils and Sasha mimicked her as closely as a human could.

Erna gave an apple piece to Raven and then gave another to Sasha as she said with a small amount of affection, "You two are both the worst. That's why you get along."

Sasha scratched Raven under her chin and told her, "These are really hard to get, so I hope you appreciate this." Raven nickered and snorted at her. Then she turned to Erna, "If they notice these are missing, can you persuade Levi to not make me run a million laps?"

"It doesn't work that way. If I asked him to take it easy on you, he'd probably just make you run more."

Sasha's shoulders slumped. She sighed. "You're both scary psychotic freaks, you know. So I guess you're perfect for each other. Your sex life is probably terrifying."

Erna shrugged, "I don't know. I don't have anything to compare it to. What do normal people do?" Sasha didn't answer her. She wasn't going down that road. There was a short awkward silence before Erna asked, just to make her more uncomfortable, "So with you and Connie… How does that work?... Like with the height difference…"

Sasha punched her in the arm, luckily it was the right one, "Shut up! He's not even _that_ much shorter than me!"

Erna gave her an evil smile, "Doesn't your neck hurt from having to lean down to kiss him all the time?"

"Not as much as yours must hurt. If they ever need to identify Levi's body by his dental records they can just look at your neck."

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_6:00 pm._

"So we're agreed the supply drops will be here, here, and here…" Levi pointed at the points on the map on his desk with his pen. "No bullshit second guessing or crazy side trips?"

"It wasn't crazy. I just wanted to exhaust the possibilities to make sure we'd have the best space to work in." Hange sighed, but she circled the three checkpoints on the map in red pencil, confirming that they were agreed. Then she drew a smiley Hange face with glasses and everything. She looked very pleased with herself.

Levi looked at it and then at her. "I hate you."

Hange drew an angry Levi face next to the smiley Hange face. Levi took her pencil from her hand and broke it in half, never changing his calm facial expression. Hange's shoulders slumped in disappointment.

He was about to go over a preliminary inventory list for each checkpoint when Erna let herself in through the side door. He reminded her, "Oi, no pets allowed," his new rule for the office.

Erna rolled her eyes. "I know. I'm not even here for you anyway." She hated this new rule. She set the books she'd borrowed from Hange on the desk. "I wanted to give these back. I got all I could out of them."

Hange's eyes lit up. "Do you have any more questions!?"

Levi gave her a death stare. "If you start rambling about titans, you won't be allowed in my office anymore either."

Erna said grimly, "I have _zero_ questions." She walked past Hange and out to the corridor.

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_8:33 pm._

Erna sat on the other side of Erwin's desk, resting her chin on her folded forearms. She stared thoughtfully at the chess board on the desk with its arrangement of remaining pieces. She had taken to playing chess with Mike after dinner since she wasn't allowed in Levi's office anymore and there was very little to do in the apartment after memorizing all of the useful information in Hange's books, except clean. But after 19 losses in a row to Mike she decided to stop being scared of Erwin and play with him instead since he was the only other person with a set and he had already seen her in her underwear, which was very close to the worst thing she could possibly imagine, so there was very little room for things to get any worse. Besides he looked at her less like a serial killer lately and more the way he did before she had any inclination to think for herself. He was warmer.

Erwin looked up from the letter he was writing to see if she had moved yet. She had not. She was focused so intensely he could almost see he gears turning in her head. "I hope you don't mind if I keep working."

She waved him off, not taking her eyes off of the board. "No, it's fine. Just tell me to leave if I'm bugging you."

He didn't confirm or deny whether or not she was bugging him. He just went back to writing. Erna didn't mind, she knew that if he wanted her to leave he wasn't the type to be shy about telling her. She captured a pawn and caught his attention, "What are you writing anyway?"

"Request for more funding for prospective missions," he told her absently, finishing the sentence he was writing and then looking at the board.

"Everybody's so busy lately," she tried not to pout, but she felt so out of the loop. She had always been out of the loop because she was content to let others do the thinking and tell her where to go and what to do and when to kill, but now she was just jealous of everyone for being so busy. She needed more to occupy her time. "Levi won't let me hang out in his office anymore."

"That must be why he's been more productive." Erwin smiled.

She ignored that. "What do you do when you don't have work to do?"

"I always have work to do." He said simply. She frowned. He tried to be more helpful, "You just have to find something that interests you."

"… I don't know…" She watched him move his knight. "I like this… but no one plays…"

"Mike does." Erwin went back to writing.

"I can't beat Mike." Erna stared at the board and went over varying possible moves and their consequences.

"Neither can I. No one can." Erwin almost laughed. "Armin probably knows chess."

"He's too busy with Jean." She knew she shouldn't tell people, but fuck it, Erwin wasn't people. "They're in love."

"Seems to be going around." Erwin didn't even look up. Nothing surprised him or caught him off guard and if it did, he didn't show it.

"What did you do before you always had work to do?" She moved a rook, kept her finger on it a moment, but then retracted it, satisfied enough with the decision.

Erwin didn't answer her for a few seconds, he concentrated on what he was writing and then, "I studied a lot. Learned new things wherever I could." He moved his knight to a space where he would be able to capture the rook she had just moved.

Erna shrugged. "… Sometimes Levi tries to teach me French, but he gets frustrated with me quickly and gives up." She didn't need to stare at the board now. He was doing what she had planned. She moved her rook to capture his last remaining pawn.

"That sounds about right." Erwin looked at the board for half a minute. He turned back to his letter without moving. "What have you managed to learn?"

"I don't know. It all sounds like a bunch of grunting vowel sounds to me." That actually made Erwin chuckle a little. She tried to think. "… I've mostly picked up curse words. _Merde. Pute._ _Salope. _He tried to teach me to conjugate verbs, but he got angry when I asked him what a verb is. It's not my fault they don't go over grammar in the Trainee Corps. They only want you to read and write well enough to make a report."

Erwin tried to keep writing his letter, but his eyes kept pulling him back to the chess board. He couldn't tell if she was good at this out of genuine skill or pure dumb luck, but she kept making moves that baffled him. "I could teach you Latin or German. They both have stronger consonants, fewer 'grunting vowel sounds.' Latin is actually close to French. It's good for learning grammar."

Erna tapped her fingers on her arm, waiting for him to move. She knew what he would do. She just had to wait for him to decide to do it. "Like how?"

"The words change depending on what part of speech they are in the sentence. You have noun declensions for the subject, possessive, direct object, indirect object or ablative case. Then there's –," he stopped himself. She was tilting her head to the side as if he were speaking gibberish, which to her, he was.

"Is there something simple to start with?" She asked with no particular enthusiasm or interest.

Erwin finally made a move. "Cogito ergo sum."

Erna made the move she had planned to make since four turns ago, capturing another of Erwin's pieces. "What's that?"

"I think therefore I am." He was writing again. He was almost finished.

"Is that how that works?" she asked rhetorically and absentmindedly as she watched him.

"When we finish this game I'll get you a book."

She shrugged. "I don't really see the point in learning dead languages."

Erwin pulled an envelope out of one of the desk drawers. "Not everything you do to relieve boredom needs to have a clear, specific purpose." He put the letter inside the envelope and folded it closed. "For example, you could argue that that there's no point to playing chess."

She watched him take the candle and drip wax over the envelope, pressing it with a seal of the wings of freedom. "Mike told me it would teach me to think… I'm not sure if I like thinking or not yet."

He smiled at her strangeness and fixed his attention on the chess board again. "It comes with the burden of responsibility."

"That's probably the part I'm not liking… and the boredom… I never felt bored before…" She watched his face as he puzzled over what move he could make.

"What did you do with your time before?"

"Coffee, training, feed my horse, dinner, sleep." It was really simple and hassle free then. She'd had no responsibility for the way she acted or the decisions she made because she didn't make decisions or have more than very superficial interactions. She missed it in a way. But she knew she couldn't go back. "Cogito ergo sum," she repeated under her breath. She watched him make his move, the one she'd predicted he would make. When he took his hand away, she said stoically, "Check," as she moved her queen.

Erwin looked puzzled, "How so?"

"Well, checkmate actually, here and here," she used one of his captured bishops to point to places on the board where she was set up to move and take his king. "You could move here, but that would only delay the inevitable. I said 'check' instead of 'checkmate' to give you the benefit of the doubt in case you came up with something I wasn't seeing."

Erwin leaned back in his chair. "I surrender." Erna began setting up the board again as Erwin observed, "When we first started this, you couldn't beat me. You lost seven games in a row and now you've won six in a row…" He was curious as to what changed.

"I figured out the way you play."

"And how's that?" Erwin raised an eyebrow.

"The same way you lead." Erna's voice was emotionless. "You sacrifice pawns too easily. Most of the time you put them in positions where you think it will be advantageous if they're caught, but you underestimate your opponent's intelligence and it gets you in trouble."

If she looked closely, she would have seen Erwin's normally stern, unexpressive face almost fall. It was a deep burn. But she wasn't looking. She was setting out pieces with quick, deft fingers. He shrugged it off and mused, "That's pretty good. Maybe you'll replace me someday."

Erna responded very matter-of-factly, "Jean's going to replace you, Armin's going to replace Mike…"

Erwin chuckled, "Well, as long as it's decided." She finished setting up. He was white, he moved first. "Who do you think will replace Levi?"

"I don't think about it… Maybe Mikasa…" She moved a pawn.

"Not you?"

"I don't want to be a squad leader. I don't want the responsibility." She watched Erwin's move and went over a hundred possible moves in her head.

"Mikasa's not as responsible as you would think." Erwin would never promote Mikasa to even a team leader position. Her intense attachment to Eren made her over-emotional and unreliable, no matter how skilled she was.

Erna shrugged. She didn't like to think about what would lead to the need to choose a replacement for Levi. "Someone else then…" she said absentmindedly, concentrating more on the game than the conversation.

Before everything, Erwin could never have pictured her as a squad leader. Her skill level in killing titans had made her as valuable as ten squads at least, but only if she was given the right orders to follow. However, lately he noticed her thoughtfulness and a keen talent for manipulative strategy when it came to things she cared about… like winning at chess. He thought if they could harness that and apply it, she would actually be a very good squad leader, but none of that mattered if she didn't have the drive to lead. That was something that couldn't be taught. "Which of these pieces do you think you would be?"

The question interrupted her thought process. She made an annoyed sigh and leaned back in her chair, surveying the board. She paused. She wanted to know before she answered, "Is this a psychological evaluation question? Because you're a shitty therapist."

He smiled. Sometimes she sounded exactly like Levi. "I promise I won't read too much into it."

She held up a pawn, twisting it around as if she were still thinking. She moved the pawn ahead. Then she answered, "A knight."

"Why do you think that?" Erwin moved one of his pawns.

"I don't know. I like the way it moves in sort of an arc." She didn't tell him her real answer. She didn't say that she knew she was the queen because it was the most useful piece. She liked winning and it was to her advantage to keep him underestimating her intelligence.

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_10:43 pm._

When Levi finally finished in his office, he tiredly took off his boots, hung up his jacket and walked through the bedroom to go take a shower. He entered the bathroom to find Erna sitting on the edge of the tub, one leg forming an upside down V lathered in soap with her foot also resting on the edge of the tub. She was leaning over, face fixed in careful concentration, holding the same small knife he knew she kept inside her boot. So he had to ask, "What in the fuck are you doing?"

"The fuck does it look like I'm doing?" She slowly scraped away a line of soap lather and waved her knife through the water in the tub. "If you'd rather I didn't shave my legs, I can stop."

"Why don't you use a razor? And why do you sound like a smart-assed little brat?"

Erna didn't stop stripping stubble and soap away from her leg, but she sighed, "I don't know. I'm in a mood lately." She rinsed her knife and held it up, turning it over to admire the edge, "I don't own a razor. I figured you wouldn't be happy if I used yours. Besides what's the point of having a different thing for shaving if this is sharp enough?"

He didn't really care what she used to shave her legs as long as the end result was the same. He wouldn't have even been surprised if he found her using one of her titan-steel blades. He did, however, mind the attitude. "You're in a mood because I spoil you."

"Is that it?" She wasn't even being argumentative. She genuinely wanted to know why she felt so moody and irritated. "It feels like I can't clear my head lately. I hate it. It's annoying." She finished shaving and rinsed the knife off and then poured water over her leg to rinse away any soap residue.

"I _did _spoil you. I've been too busy to devote hours of attention to you for a whole two nights in a row and you get an attitude like a spoiled little bitch. I would punish you for it, but I'm wiped out." He untied his cravat and put it down next to the sink.

She thought he was probably right. She told him, "It clears my head when you hurt me. I need it to level me out."

"That's why I'm not going to do it. You're spoiled with how much I hurt you," probably the most ironic sentence he had ever spoken. He thought of something else to threaten her with, "If you keep up your shitty attitude, I'm going to make love to you and it's going to be very slow and very sweet and romantic and you're going to hate it." He gave her an evil smirk.

She set the knife down, but stayed perched on the edge of the tub. She wanted to laugh at the threat, but she was able to stifle it. "I call your bluff. I don't think you even could."

"I could do anything if it were to torture you," he assured her.

She laughed and held up her hands, "No! It's already too romantic!"

He leaned down in front of her and took her foot in his hands, raising it to kiss the inner side of her ankle. Her eyes went wide as he trailed soft, tender kisses up her leg. He kissed her skin so slowly and so gently, it was like he was someone else. Suddenly he drew his hand back, cursing as he looked at it. "What is it?" she asked.

"I think I cut my hand on your foot. Why are your feet so fucking calloused?" He teased her.

She laughed and splashed the bathwater at him. "Living on the street for a year or so without shoes followed by long-ass training runs in ill-fitting boots will do that! Leave my feet alone!"

"Well I can hardly do that now." He grabbed a pumice stone from a basket near the tub and roughly grabbed her ankle and scraped at the heel of her foot with it.

"Fuck!" She started laughing uncontrollably and gasping for air, "That tickles!" She tried to pull her leg out of his grasp, but she lost her balance and fell backwards into the tub. Then he let go. He smiled as she brought her head up above water again looking as angry as a cat would be in the same situation.

Levi reached in and pulled the plug, letting the water drain. He stood up and started unbuttoning his shirt. "Are you going to be long in there? I wanted to take a shower." His deadpan only made her more livid. He loved that look. It almost made him want to relent and spend an hour or two turning that angry look of defiance into one of ecstasy and submission. His cock started to pulse with the increased blood flow as he had warring thoughts in his head of how much fun it would be to punish her severely for being a spoiled little bitch, versus the certainty that doing so would ensure that she would continue to be a spoiled little bitch. She glared at him as she wrung the excess water from her hair. It wasn't really much of a contest. "On second thought, stay in there. You're taking a shower with me." He quickly started the water running and pulled the handle to divert the flow through the shower head.

She shrieked as the water hit her. She sputtered and flailed. "Noooo. I already took two showers today!" She got to her feet, but she stayed in the shower, watching him strip. Her eyes flickered with a combination of hostility and lust.

"If you want to whine, you can go to bed right now," he warned.

She bit her lip. She really hated unnecessary showers, but she also hated the past few days where she ended up in bed before him, falling asleep without so much as a spanking or a scolding – even if it was in French and she didn't understand it. While she tried to make a decision, he turned the hot water up. She stepped back a little, out of the water, and brought a finger to her lips, wrinkling her eyebrows in thought, weighing whether or not it was worth it.

He loved that face. Sometimes he only made it seem like she had options to choose from just so he could see her face while she tried to think when really he'd already made the decision for her. This was one of those times. He stepped over the edge of the tub and stood facing her, directly under the stream of the shower. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, letting the hot water run over his face.

Erna watched as tiny rivers of water formed and ran down his neck, over his collarbone, in a quick descent over the topography of his skin, jumping over scars and hugging the curves and angles of muscles. It made her feel thirsty. He tilted his head to each side, stretching his neck and shoulders, cracking bones. A stream of water made it past him to burn her skin. She love-hated this. She complained, "The water's too hot."

He opened his eyes and looked at her. "What did I say about whining? Do you want to get out?" He wouldn't actually let her, but he wanted to bring that conflicted expression to her face again. He watched her wrestle with the decision for a few moments before grabbing her around her waist and pulling her into the water, telling her "You'll get used to it," as she whimpered and squirmed.

Her skin quickly turned a light shade of pink. Her face flushed and she grabbed his wrists, trying to loosen his hold on her so she could escape the burning water. He decided to give her a different kind of searing pain to concentrate on. He leaned down and took one of her pink little nipples in his mouth and sucked until she relaxed and stopped trying to get away, then he grazed it with his teeth, making her shudder, which was nice, but he wanted her to scream. He gave her a nip with his teeth and she yelped. She snaked her fingers into his hair, about to try to pull him away, but he clamped his teeth down lightly so that if she resisted or pulled him away she would only be scraping herself with his teeth and causing herself more pain. She relaxed her fingers, closed her eyes, and sighed, "Fuck you."

He smiled a little as he increased the pressure with his teeth until he could hear her sharp intake of breath. He gave the tip of her nipple a playful flick of his tongue and released her, standing up straight and looking down at her indignant face. He observed calmly, "You're like a cat in water. I should get you a collar with a bell."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "Putain de chien sale." – _(Fucking dirty dog/bastard.)_

His eyes flashed with that sadistic spark. He spun her around to face away from him, bringing a hand to her hair and pulling her head back painfully far as he sunk his teeth into the side of her neck. His other hand squeezed and pinched the nipple that had escaped the attention of his teeth. He tasted blood as his canines broke her skin. He licked the mark he had made as the running water washed away the trickle of blood and he tugged her hair a little harder, making her back and neck arch as he ran his tongue up to her earlobe. Her breathing was quick as he whispered in her ear, "I'll fuck you like a dog if that's what you really want." He left her nipple to trail his fingers down her smooth skin until he reached her clit, playing with it until she was wet with more than just the running water. "Petit enfant gâté." – _(Spoiled little brat.)_

Erna felt like he was going to break her neck. She couldn't help hyperventilating a little in instinctive fear. She was relieved when he suddenly pushed her forward, though she had to catch herself and put her hands against the wall to avoid cracking her head. He put a hand between her shoulder blades and pushed her down until her body formed almost a right angle. He crouched a little and pressed against her, pushing her into the wall so that she wouldn't lose her balance. His cock slipped in between her thighs and between her lips, brushing over her clit, causing her to moan and cry out, "Ha.. ahh.. Levi.."

"Qu'est-ce que tu veux, ma salope?" _(What do you want, my slut?) _He rocked his hips, sliding his cock back and forward again, teasing her with it.

She didn't understand him, but it didn't matter. She pushed back against him, begging for it, "Please, Levi."

He put a hand firmly on her ass, squeezing it while he took his cock in the other and guided it to press against the opening of her tight, wet little cunt. He pressed a little and pulled back, teasing her with the head of his cock until she began murmuring "Please…" over and over. He growled deep in his throat. Simple pleading wasn't good enough. He smacked her ass, making her flinch a little. He hummed and asked her, "Please what? Tell me."

She groaned, frustrated that he was going to make her try to make coherent sentences when she felt like her brain was melting. She tried to just push back against him and take what she wanted, but he pulled his cock away from her, bringing his hand up from her ass to her waist and holding her still. He tapped the head of his cock against her lips, mocking her with it. "Ah, ah, ah… Naughty little whore… Tell me what you need and maybe you can have it."

She sighed at the humiliation of needing to say it, "I _need_ your cock. Please?" He slid the head over her wet clit and hummed, only teasingly pressing against her to let her know that wasn't good enough. She tried again, "Please fuck me? I need it." She tried to buck against him, but he continued to hold her still.

She sighed and paused, pressing her forehead against the shower wall in defeat. "I need you to use me, hurt me with your cock, treat me like your fuck-toy," she whined desperately. "Please use me or hurt me or fucking tease me and don't let me come, I don't care, I only want to be your pathetic little slave, I only want to exist for your pleasure, whatever form it takes."

He smiled. She really could be eloquent when he pushed her past her point of pride. He liked taking her better when all her composure and vanity was stripped away. "Je veux tu faire hurler," _(I want you to scream.) _he told her darkly before he rewarded her begging by quickly slamming his cock all the way inside her, up to the hilt, pressing against her cervix and making her shudder. Her screams were either a coincidence or she actually understood him. He didn't care which. He fucked her mercilessly, slapping her ass, making her flinch and making her cunt twitch around his cock. The muscles of her arms stiffened, struggling to push back against his thrusts and keep her head from hitting the wall.

"Nnh.. oh fuck.. oh Levi.. Don't stop.." she barely knew what she was saying anymore.

He reached down and pulled her hair, making her arch her back past the point of comfort again. He slammed his cock as deep into her as he could, making her cry out, he held it there as he asked her, "What did you just say?"

It was hard for her to talk with her neck bent back so hard. "P-Please don't stop?" she corrected herself, realizing her mistake too late.

He held his cock still inside her, keeping her arched against him with his hand in her hair, he brought his other hand down to lightly tease her clit. "Spoiled little bitch. Did you want a say in how I fuck you?" She tried to shake her head, but he didn't give her enough slack to move. He tapped a finger against her clit.

Erna couldn't stand it, she tried to writhe against him. He pulled out of her and she whined and whimpered. He tugged her hair, making her hold still. He stopped teasing her clit and slapped her ass with his cock. "So forgetful. Do I really need to remind you that you're just a toy? Your pleasure is only incidental."

She moaned. He brought his hand from her hair to her throat, cutting off her air a little, holding her in the same position. He slammed his cock back inside her, pushing her up on her toes with every thrust inside her heat that rivaled the temperature of the water. "Unh… If I let you come… unh- fuck… it's only to feel your tight little cunt milk my cock…" Her moans were choked out of her as he tightened his grip around her neck, pushing her into his hand with his hips.

He rolled his fingers around her clit, her choked moans became shrill, half-screams. He growled at her, "Fucking take it… dirty, cock-hungry whore…" He felt heat pool in his cock, his balls tightened, but he wouldn't let himself come before her. He kept lightly working her clit, pushing her over the edge, "Take my cock, you horny little slut…"

It probably wouldn't have mattered if he weren't touching her clit at all, his words were what really made her come. Her whole body shook, her hot cunt squeezing around him, trying to suck him in further. He released his hold on her neck and she gasped for air, moaning with every exhale, shaking with aftershocks of her intense climax. He held out as long as he could and let her ride it out on his cock before he had to pull out. He leaned back, grunting and sighing heavily as his cock twitched and spurted cum on her ass, some of it pooling in the cute little dimples at the small of her back. The water quickly washed it all away. She used what little strength she had left to control her descent as her knees buckled.

Levi bent down and lifted her up, turning her around and holding her to stand against him. He nuzzled into her wet hair. She pressed her face against his chest, feeling it rise and fall with deep, ragged breaths and listening to his heart beat hard and fast. He whispered, "You know I only say those things for your benefit…"

She didn't understand the tone of his voice. It was totally new to her. It wasn't his normal deadpan. It was something like sincere sentimentality. It was confusing to hear any emotion in it at all, so it took her a moment to even respond, "I know…"

She pushed away a little, looked him in the eyes. They were full of something like caring, then they flashed with mischief before he added, "Except when I call you a whore – that I mean."

Erna smiled and teased him, "Don't be so sweet. It's gross."

Levi kissed her forehead and then gave her ass a swift smack, "Get out of here so I can actually get clean." He grabbed the soap as she stepped out over the edge of the tub.

Erna wrapped herself up in a towel before going to the bedroom, parting with, "Vieil homme sale." _(Dirty old man.)_

He called after her, "Salope! Pute! Minet!" _(Bitch. Whore. Cunt.)_ Then, "Je ne te l'enseignemente du francais." He translated into English so that she would know, "I'm not teaching you any more French."

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**(A/N****)  
Things I know:**

**French: Sort of. I studied it for four years through HS and college, but I have forgotten almost all of it (as you do.) I don't think we ever learned most of the words Levi would say anyway. So, google helps me with that, which means that most of it is probably wrong. Any helpful French speakers would be appreciated.  
Latin: I took fewer years of Latin, but I am good at it. It stuck in my head better than French for some reason. Probably because it is way more awesome. So if I work more Latin into this, (not sure if I will) you can be sure that it is accurate.  
Chess: Almost not at all. I know the pieces and how they move and that is about it. If you are a chess nerd (I use that phrase lovingly) please tell me if you think things should be changed or details added. I would love to have a chess consultant for my smut-fic. Though I will only be able to pay you in your choice of smut.**

**I couldn't decide if I should put translations IN the story or as a footnote or not at all. Obvs I chose to put them in there. Sometimes I like when people put in the translations and sometimes I find it distracting. But I guess it's also distracting to have to open a new tab and google a phrase in French. You probably don't want any of these in your search history.  
Thank you for reading. Love you.**


	19. In Media Res

**(A/N) I recently went back and edited the earlier chapters with better paragraph breaks and things. So if you were in the mood for a re-read, now is a good time for that. **

**When I have trouble writing I make guidelines for myself like a theme or a specific set of restrictions. This time I did a chapter of scenes that start in the middle of conversations. It turned out to be more fun than I thought. I might write this way forever. (The chapter title is Latin for In the Middle of Things.)**

**Sorry, sorry, sorry for the delay in finishing this one! Like so sorry! Like begging for forgiveness, please punish me sorry!**

**Warning: There is a "Mean Girls" reference somewhere in here. I could not help myself. I'm terrible.  
Also, Mike looks out a window, as he is wont to do.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan or its characters. I do own my OC and this story. I am currently at a loss for new and clever things to say about that. **

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"I'm as shocked as you are." Erna tried to make her face at least mildly surprised so the statement would be believable.

The supply officer held up one of her two gas canisters in wondering disbelief, looking for the point of the leak. "How bizarre… Both of them?" He put it down and picked up the other one.

Erna shrugged. "Yeah. I can't think of what happened. I mean they did get knocked around a little on the last reconnaissance mission, but…" She knew exactly what happened. She went into the tack room of the stable early in the morning, took the hammer and nails they use to shoe the horses and made tiny punctures in each of her gas canisters. They were running on fumes anyway since her last excursion over the wall.

The poor man brought a hand to the back of his head and groaned. "Now we have to check all of these," motioning towards the hundreds of spare gas cans. "At least we didn't fill them yet."

A familiar ginger-haired girl quickly brought her two new canisters. "Here, Miss Raban, I checked and filled them already."

"Tch. Don't call me that." Erna scolded her quietly. She tucked one canister under her arm and held the other in her hand.

"Sorry! I forgot." Erna watched the girl. There was a slight twitch in her shoulder and arm, she was about to salute her, but she remembered and kept her arms at her sides.

Erna knew the canisters were fine, but something about Kallie made her neck bristle – made her want to fuck with the girl. She tapped the canister under her arm with her fist. "You're sure they're fine?" she raised an eyebrow at Kallie.

"Hai!" the girl fought the urge to salute again.

"Because if they're not, you'll have my death on your hands."

Now the girl was starting to look nervous, second-guessing herself. "I- I'm sure…"

"Are you?"

Kallie shifted her weight slightly from one foot to the other. She wavered for a moment, but then her nervousness ebbed away and was replaced by a look of resolve. "I'm sure. You can count on me!"

Erna shrugged, "Good." The supply officer was satisfied and walked away to order others under him to start checking everything. They were already too busy with getting wagons ready for the next mission. They would probably be working into the night. Erna didn't feel the slightest bit of guilt over it.

The girl kept standing there as if she were waiting for Erna to dismiss her, like she was a higher ranking officer. It irritated her. She lifted one of the gas canisters as if she were inspecting it. She didn't look at Kallie as she addressed her, "So this is where they keep you…"

She answered excitedly, "Hai! For now at least. I'm going to be in one of the wagons on the next mission." There was a vague sense of pride in her voice.

Erna continued to pretend to be inspecting the gas canisters she'd been given. "At least you'll be relatively safe. Wagons are well-protected. Erwin values cargo over human lives." It was maybe a slight exaggeration… but only slight, she thought.

The girl stared at her, mouth open and speechless. That made Erna feel satisfied. She turned and walked out of the supply depot without another word.

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"But I'm soooo bored…" Erna whined and dramatically threw her arms folded on Erwin's desk, laying her head on them as if she were dying of boredom.

"Take a book." Erwin nodded at the book shelves that lined one of the walls of the office. He was too busy to play games. There was another reconnaissance mission tomorrow, this time it was more involved because they were stocking a new supply point. Every member who was going had the day off, excluding those of higher ranks who were busier than ever, hence the girl's boredom.

"Just one game and then I'll fuck off."

Erwin looked up. It was strange seeing her out of uniform. She was in a long, dark grey cotton tee with a deep v-neck, white three-quarter leggings, and plain sandals. He didn't think he had ever seen her in casual clothes. He smirked to himself as he thought the shirt and leggings made her look like a tiny, cute, female version of Mike. Until she gave him a death stare… definitely more like Levi. He told her firmly, "I can't."

She groaned and put her head down on the desk. He got back to work. A few seconds later Levi stormed in, laid a sheet of paper and his palm on the desk over top of what Erwin was working on, and leaned in close to his face saying, "This is bullshit."

Erna took no interest, resigned that it was more stuff she didn't understand. Everyone was largely being kept in the dark as to what the whole purpose of the recon was.

Erwin was unfazed. "I'm sorry you feel that way." He didn't even look up.

"If we're going to recon two checkpoints, let us take the supplies for both of them."

"You know that's too much to ask. You've only checked the first one. The second one could turn out to be non-viable _or _the whole formation could be decimated somehow and then I'm out that much more supplies that I need here. We're already stretched thin as it is." Erwin explained.

"If it's non-viable, we improvise and stow the shit somewhere else. It's bullshit to only take the inventory for one supply point if we have to go to the second one anyway. You're -," Levi was about to go on with a list of reasons that Erwin was an asshole, but the Commander brought his hand up for him to stop.

Erwin looked at Erna whose head was still on the desk. "What do you think?"

She looked up, still resting her chin on the desk like a petulant child. "I'll tell you if you play one game with me."

"Don't let the succubus negotiate with you. It's a shitty habit." Levi gave her a light smack on the back of her head.

"One quick game if you tell me what you honestly think _and_ it's a good idea." Erwin had noticed by now that she sometimes lied or made herself seem less intelligent than she was if it was to her manipulative advantage.

"One game just for telling you, two games if it's a good idea," she demanded. Then she let out a deep pitiable sigh, "I have fuck-all to do today."

Erwin was about to respond, but Levi took a fistful of her hair and pulled her head back, making the girl wince and hiss. "Don't be a brat. If you're bored, I have plenty of cleaning for you to do." He pulled her head up until she was sitting straight in the chair, then he let go and gave her a light smack, "Out with it."

She rubbed her head where he'd pulled her hair and smacked her. "If you can't agree, just compromise and split it down the middle. Take the full amount of supplies for the first check point and half the supplies for the second. Then take half for the second and the full amount for the third on the next run. We have to stop at all of them anyway, but we get everything stocked in two runs instead of three and Erwin loses less inventory if we're," she used air quotes here, "_decimated somehow._" She crossed her arms and scowled at Erwin. She disliked the attention that came from having ideas. She only wanted to be left alone and fly under the radar. "Can I get the board now?"

Erwin looked at Levi, "Can you live with that?"

Levi nodded. It was an elegant solution. He looked down at Erna, his facial expression didn't change, but his voice was slightly huskier, "You're sexier when you're smart."

She shrugged. She disliked the compliment. She didn't want to be smart. Having ideas meant she was responsible if her ideas failed.

Erwin sighed, but it was worth losing an hour to play chess with her – it was an hour that would have been wasted arguing with Levi anyway if she had come up with nothing. "You can get the board," he nodded towards the shelf of the bookcase where it resided.

Erna stood up and turned to get it, but was whipped back around almost off her feet as Levi grabbed her wrist and pulled her along, telling Erwin, "She doesn't have time." As he pulled her out the door, he told her, "Come on, you can stay under the desk and suck my cock while I work."

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"Why don't you just stop being a pussy and tell them?" Erna sat cross-legged on the floor of Levi's living room, staring at the chess board on the coffee table, so it was unclear whether her question was directed towards Armin or Jean.

Letting Levi drag her back to his office had turned out to be a bad and impulsive decision. He had kicked her out less than two minutes after he came in her mouth and she was left with nothing to do again. So she'd knocked on Armin & Jean's door to see if Armin would play chess with her if she could steal Mike's set. Armin had answered the door after she waited for a minute, completely flushed and flustered. Jean had been in the background, wearing a smug grin and totally casually and unashamedly pulling his shirt back on. She figured they were finished since Armin readily agreed to hang out. Jean insisted on tagging along like they were joined at the hip.

Armin had one of the comfy armchairs pulled up to the coffee table and was leaning over, elbows on his thighs, chin rested in his hands, concentrating on the game, but he answered her anyway, "I will when Jean's ready."

Jean was sprawled out on the couch, feet off of the cushions after Erna had warned him about it. She'd also made them take their shoes off at the door, telling them bluntly that if they didn't Levi would make her sleep on the floor.

Erna clicked her tongue, "I wasn't calling you a pussy. I was talking to Jean. He's a pussy. You should definitely leave him if he doesn't have the balls to tell Eren and Mikasa soon," she was only half-teasing. Even though she didn't really have room to criticize, being the one who tried to hide her own relationship for so long.

Jean turned his head to glare at her. Armin laughed. "It's understandable. They _are _overprotective. And they've both always butted heads with Jean. But I know they'd get over it once they saw how happy he makes me."

Jean loved how patient and sweet and understanding Armin was. He couldn't ask for someone more perfect. He smiled and stood up, going behind Armin's chair and draping his arms around him, sweetly kissing the top of his head. Erna pretended she was about to vomit. Jean caressed Armin's hair as he moved his queen and said, "Checkmate."

Erna narrowed her eyes, scanning the pieces. He was right. She pouted. "Boo, you whore." She hated losing. It at least wasn't as bad as playing with Mike. She'd won one game out of three so far. She got up on her knees, leaning over the table and setting the pieces out again.

Armin tried hard to ignore Jean nuzzling his ear. He asked Erna, "Why don't you sit down?" nodding at the big, comfy armchair behind her.

"I'm not allowed on the furniture," Erna answered as though that were a totally normal thing.

Jean's tongue flitted along the curve of Armin's ear, making him blush and squirm in his chair. Erna rolled her eyes at them. Levi came through the door, a folder and clipboard tucked under his arm and a carafe of tea in his hand. Jean shot straight up, as if Armin's skin were a flame that suddenly burned him. He and Armin both looked at the man wide-eyed as he gave them a passing glance before kicking off his boots. Erna didn't even look up from setting up the chess pieces.

Levi asked her, "Why are there filthy brats in my apartment?" as he set the folder and carafe down on the coffee table next to her, not even pausing for her answer before moving through the door to the hallway that separated the living room and bedroom.

She called after him, "I live here too!" She wouldn't go so far as to say it was her apartment too. He would probably punish her for claiming ownership over anything. "And you said I could bring people back here."

He shouted from the bedroom as he gathered a tea cup and saucer and a pen. "I said you could bring people back here to fuck you while I watched."

Armin's face turned red. He would never be used to Levi's blunt crassness. Erna rolled her eyes and sighed, asking in a completely bored and obligatory tone of voice, "Do either of you want to fuck me?"

Armin's face burned brighter. Jean gave her a snide smirk, not as easily embarrassed as Armin, "I did once, but I'm over it."

Erna narrowed her grey eyes at him as she crossed her legs under her again, having finished setting out the pieces. "Ew. As if I would touch you anyway with your weird face. I'd make out with your boy toy though." She winked at Armin. She found lately that she had a growing fondness for making people uncomfortable. Perhaps she harbored a small amount of social sadism along with her sexual masochism.

Jean put a possessive arm around Armin, but quickly retracted it again when Levi came back in from the bedroom. Levi rolled his eyes, "Relax Kirschtein. It's abundantly clear that you're buggering Arlert even without the disgusting public displays of affection."

Jean glared at Erna, thinking she had told Levi. Erna was watching Armin's face, fascinated by how red it could get. Armin was watching the floor. Erna felt Jean's eyes boring into her and looked up. She quickly realized what he thought and she scoffed, "I didn't tell anyone… Okay, I _may_ have told Erwin, but he doesn't count."

Levi poured himself some tea. "I babysat you brats for at least four years. You think you're so subtle when you're being painfully obvious." He nodded at Jean, "You look at Arlert like he's some kind of golden god on a fucking pedestal." Armin smiled. But Levi wasn't done, "And you with those big, fuck-me-blue eyes."

They both just looked at Levi in shock. He crossed his legs and sipped his tea, holding his cup over the saucer by the rim, sounding bored, "Don't look so innocent. It's not like you invented sex."

Erna shot him a look over her shoulder, "I thought you were supposed to be busy."

"And I thought I could take a fucking break in my own home without being exposed to brats fawning over each other like horny teenagers and your shitty attitude." He returned her scowl. "You know you're not even allowed to wear clothes in the apartment. You're lucky I don't make you strip right now."

"Stop trying to scare my friends away." This would have been a record-worthy event if anyone had noticed, it was the first time she admitted she had any friends. It was also the first time she stuck her tongue out at Levi, before saying, "Grossier chien sale." - _(Rude bastard.)_

He responded in English, "It's rude to speak other languages around people who don't understand, besides the fact that you're playing a two-person game when you have more than one guest." Then, in contradiction with what he just told her, he added in French, "Putain barbare." _- (Uncivilized/savage fucking whore.)_

Jean and Armin stayed put, more afraid to attempt to leave than to stay. Erna shrugged at him, sighing, "This is the only game I know."

Levi observed her darkly in silence for a minute as he sipped his tea. Finally he said, "There's a deck of cards in my desk." He gave her a kick. "Fetch."

Erna sprang to her feet and bounced out of the room. Jean stayed standing behind Armin's chair, he didn't feel safe enough to return to sit on the couch. Armin bit his lip and concentrated on the stone floor, wondering if it was possible to disappear into it.

Levi put his tea cup on the table and picked up the folder and clipboard. He turned sideways in the chair, hanging his legs over the side as he clicked his pen and began writing. It was incredibly awkward, but on some level Jean and Armin were exceedingly grateful that he didn't want to try to make small talk.

After a minute, Erna came back. She tossed the box of cards to Jean from the doorway. He caught them and sat down on the couch again as Erna returned to her spot on the floor. He cut the deck and began shuffling. He looked across the coffee table at her as he riffled the cards, "Do you know how to play poker?"

"I don't know how to play anything."

"You can't play with only three people anyway," Armin reminded them.

"Oh yeah," Jean set the deck down and tried to think of something else to play.

Erna turned around and tried to pout at Levi. He read her mind. "I don't have time."

"Please?" she made a ridiculous attempt at fluttering her eyelashes at him, but he wasn't even looking at her.

"I'm busy. It takes too long to play, and besides there's no point to poker if you're not gambling, so unless you want to play strip poker…" He flipped the page he was reading.

Erna gave Jean a questioning look because she didn't know what 'strip poker' was. Jean shook his head and mouthed 'no' at her.

Erna looked back at Levi. "Something else then? Please?"

"I said 'no,' and if you keep asking, I'm going to bend you over the couch and beat your ass red."

Erna's shoulders slumped. She turned back around to Armin and Jean and shrugged. Armin offered, "We can play go fish."

Levi made a frustrated groan as he moved his legs from over the arm of the chair, put his feet on the floor and reached for the deck. It was unconscionable to let them do something so lame. He started dealing the cards out, "I'll teach you Hearts. One game, then I need to get back to work."

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"I'm sure she'll be fine." The veterinary officer reassured Erna as they stood outside Raven's stall. It was only the early afternoon, but the horses had been called inside as it started to rain. Raven pawed the ground and bucked in her stall. "The cut's completely healed. The hostility towards humans we can't do anything about."

"No, that's fine. I like her this way." Erna extended her hand out over the stall door and fed Raven some carrot pieces. When she'd eaten all of them and figured out that she wasn't getting any more, she kicked the wall and charged the door, rearing up and then coming down and bucking.

They stood in silence for a moment before the vet asked, sounding incredulous, "Forgive me for asking, but is it true that Commander Erwin delayed the scheduled reconnaissance missions for this horse?"

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"Just stand out here and tell me if anyone's coming." Sasha told Connie as she picked the lock on the kitchen pantry.

Connie nodded as she slipped through the door. He stood back against the wall and whistled a tune very inconspicuously, he thought. She was in there a minute, maybe two, before he started to get worried. Normally she would be in and out in less than thirty seconds.

She was so quiet that he couldn't hear her in there at all, that was why she was so good at this. He tilted his head towards the door, and said through the side of his mouth, "Don't take too much. They'll notice and we'll have to run laps again." No answer. He looked around and listened. He doubted anyone would be coming anyway. Everyone was so busy getting ready for tomorrow and the kitchen staff had already served dinner and cleaned up. He quickly slipped through the door and closed it.

Sasha was stuffing a sack with bread, potatoes, carrots, and whatever else there was a large enough stock of. The sack looked like it was filled with at least ten pounds of food and she wasn't stopping. She barely even noticed him come in. "Sash, that's way too much!" Connie stage whispered.

Sasha continued stuffing the bag, "It's fine. We're leaving early in the morning, long before breakfast. No one will notice it's missing until we're gone. I _can't_ go out on a mission without extra food! How will we snack?"

"We're going to be gone two days, three tops…" Connie murmured. Then he thought about that for a second and switched gears, "… Are you sure that's enough?"

Sasha popped open the top of a crate, when she saw the contents, her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. "Connie…"

"What?" He walked over and looked down.

"It's MEA-," she started to scream, but he clamped a hand over her mouth, shushing her. She whispered very excitedly, "It's meat!" The crate contained a variety of dried meats.

Connie looked at it in disbelief. Then he looked at Sasha. He reached over and grabbed the sack, holding it open. She didn't miss a beat and started grabbing handfuls of jerky and throwing it in.

"Grab more venison," Connie told her. There was so much they could even afford to be picky.

"My favorite!" Sasha squealed.

When they'd pilfered about a quarter of what was in there, Connie grabbed Sasha around the waist and pushed her back against a pile of sacks of potatoes as he pulled her down for a frantic kiss. He pushed her shirt up, kissing her soft, round tits as she pulled it off the rest of the way. He stood up and quickly removed his shirt and unclasped her bra. "You're so hot when you're stealing food."

Sasha giggled. She let her bra fall off and she reached for a baguette. She licked one end of it before trailing it suggestively down between her tits and over her stomach.

Connie's cock twitched. "Fuck that's hot," he groaned. He quickly leaned down, grabbing needy fistfuls of her breasts as he kissed them, carefully flicking her nipples between his fingers. If he were forced to choose a favorite part of her it would have to be her tits, they were so heavy and soft and perfect. He squeezed them together and licked a long trail up the space between them.

Sasha's skin broke out in a full body blush. She could still be so shy about sex, which Connie only thought made her more alluring. He loved when she blushed and looked at him with those big, brown doe eyes. He didn't care that he always had to be the one to initiate, that was more than fine, he was eager enough for both of them. He sucked on a nipple, let it go with a pop, and turned his attention to the other one.

"Connieeeee," Sasha whined as she reached for his belt buckle. He delayed burying his face in her chest for a second to give her a questioning look. She blushed and averted her eyes to the bulge in his pants, pulling him closer between her legs by his belt and quickly unbuckling it, conquering her shyness for the sake of maintaining her standing record of fifty-seven successful pantry robberies without getting caught red-handed. "Hurry up before we get caught."

"Right, sorry!" he pushed her knee-length skirt up as she unbuttoned his pants, he lifted her ass, quickly pulling her panties down her thighs as she lifted her knees, ankles together so he could slide them off completely. She went back to fumbling with the buttons, but he took her hands, gently pushing them away so he could kneel between her long legs. He lightly sucked at her swollen lips and darted his tongue out to tease her clit.

Sasha giggled – his stubble tickled between her thighs. She clutched his shoulders and tried to pull him up, "Connieee, there's no time."

He hated that she was right. He _could _be fast, that was easy. But he preferred to draw things out and make her come five times in the course of an hour or two. They fit perfectly together that way. He was giving and she had no shame about taking and being greedy. He gave her one more long lick and she made a half-successful attempt at stifling a moan.

Connie got up from his knees and pushed his pants and briefs down just enough to have them out of the way. He leaned over Sasha's body, capturing her mouth in a fiery kiss. She moaned into his lips as the head of his cock brushed over her slick pussy, sliding up lightly, getting the underside of his shaft coated in her wetness.

Her fingers clutched the back of his neck. She bucked her hips, begging him with her body to just put it in already. His hand came down. He teased her with his fingertips a little, getting them drenched before giving his shaft one long stroke, getting it coated and guiding his cock to push inside her, slowly at first. He broke their kiss to straighten up again, to be able to look down at her whole body, which made her blush again, which made him lose his mind.

"Fuck, Sash…" He whispered under his breath. He quickly plunged his cock into her up to the base. She gasped and then moaned as he began rocking in and out of her. She was always loud. Normally that was okay, but…

Connie didn't want to muffle her cries with a kiss again, he wanted to be able to look down and see her tits jiggle and bounce as he thrust in and out of her. He tried shushing her, but her eyes were closed and her mind was past the point of listening.

He was desperate. He didn't want to get caught either. Without breaking his rhythm, he reached for the baguette she had teased him with tore off a piece of it. As her mouth opened to let out another loud moan, he stuffed it with the bread, instantly giving her an apologetic look as her eyes opened in surprise. But her lips curved into a smile. She sunk her teeth into the chunk of baguette and kept moaning, looking up at him with a feral, hungry spark in her eyes.

The image pushed him over the edge. He kept one hand on her waist as he lifted one of her legs with the other, pulling her ankle up to his shoulder, lifting her ass off the potato sacks, pushing the other thigh to the side with his hips and pushing deeper inside of her, angling to find that sweet spot that would make her come if he hit it right.

She stretched her leg up straight, thigh against his stomach, calf pushing into his shoulder. Her long legs were flexible like a dancer. He leaned into it, stretching out her muscles, turning his head to kiss her calf as he lost himself in the feeling of her warmth.

Sasha stiffened and her back arched as she started to come. Her pussy walls started contracting and Connie brought his hand from her waist to lightly brush and pet her clit, making her whole body convulse in a long, intense, drawn-out multiple orgasm. It took every ounce of self-control and concentration he possessed to wait for her to finish. He only pulled out when she twitched and jumped as if his cock were a cattle prod, signaling that her climax was over and her clit was oversensitive. He didn't have time, inclination, or foresight to think about how he was going to come and consequently he just spilled onto the stone floor. At that point he really couldn't care anyway.

He wanted to collapse next to her, but they'd been in there too long already. He heard a muffled giggle come from Sasha. He looked down at her and she brought both hands to the piece of baguette in her mouth, holding it as she tore it with her teeth and began chewing. He pulled his pants back up and smirked at her.

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"I don't care _what _the fuck you do to me, I am _not _going back down there!" Erna put the carafe on the coffee table, empty of the tea Levi had ordered her to bring him. "And I'm never eating anything that comes out of that kitchen again!"

Levi gave her an unimpressed look, "You're not making sense. What's gotten into you?" She was a spoiled little brat, through some fault of his own, but she wasn't normally histrionic and nonsensical like she was being right now.

Erna crossed her arms, hands clutching her shoulders. "Horrible things…" She shook her head quickly like she was trying to make memories fly out of it. "I need to take a shower." She took the hem of her t-shirt in her fingertips and started pulling it over her head as she walked back towards the bedroom and disappeared.

He thought about beating the shit out of her for defying an order, but he truly didn't have time - unlike the other times where he just told himself he didn't have time and then found time anyway. Besides, she seemed genuinely traumatized… her taking a shower without him forcing her was proof that something was up. He sighed. He still needed tea.

Levi picked up the carafe and went down to the kitchen, put a teapot on the stove and waited for the water to boil. Connie and Sasha were gone by then, so he didn't hear any of the noises from the pantry that had so deeply disturbed Erna when she'd been down there minutes ago.

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"Are you taking that with you?" Mike asked Erna as she took another sip from the mug in her hand. Levi had woken her up early before the sun even rose so that she could go make herself some coffee before they left and not "be a psychotic fucking bitch," or as he put it, "Putain salope psychotique," further expanding her grasp of French vocabulary.

She calmly looked around. Everyone else was mounted up and ready. _Shit._ She hated to not finish coffee. She took one last swig and dumped the remainder out on the ground. She had wanted to fill her waterskin with coffee, but Levi had reminded her that would only be fine if she enjoyed passing out from dehydration. She left the empty mug on the ground, not wanting to smash it or take it with her.

Raven pawed the ground impatiently next to her. The stall rest and restriction to light work made her crazier than usual. Erna reached for her reins and gave Mike a look. He knelt down, cupped his hands, gave her a boost up into the saddle. He was good at wordless communication. He went and got on his own horse. Erna wondered how the Survey Corps even had one big enough for him. It was probably a special draft cross.

Erna quickly ran over numbers in her head as Raven pranced underneath her. Three wagons, center. Four squads surrounding in a sort of diamond shape and one squad riding in the center close to the wagons with spare horses. Forty people altogether, seven of which she was more immediately responsible for… or just in closer proximity to, being in their squad, eight people who she had grown attached to and would miss if they were killed, and one person, leading the formation, who she was pretty sure she couldn't find the will to live without. She shook those thoughts away, not finding them helpful.

She made an overhead map in her head of the formation, drawing lines to points she could get to and erasing points that would be pointless to try and reach from where she would be. That was better. Mike rode close to her telling her just before Levi called the order to move out, "Don't respond to red flares. Only black."

Logically she knew this already, but it helped to hear it again. It was hard to see red flares and do nothing while she waited for the green.

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"What happened to your hands?" Mikasa gave Erna a blank look. Erna was blowing on her palms. The pads of her fingers were blistered from her reins. She'd needed to keep a ridiculously tight hold of them to keep Raven in formation for the first ten miles before she settled down. Every muscle in her upper arms ached.

Erna held her palms faced out at Mikasa, who winced in sympathy. "That horse is going to kill me before any titan gets the chance," she joked. She contemplated her hands. "Or at least if a titan kills me it will probably be her fault. I don't even know if I can hold a blade like this."

Mikasa took her wrist and examined her hand more closely. She let go. "You should get that wrapped up." She gave Erna a somber look.

"Yeah," Erna agreed. She wondered what it would be like to endure Mikasa's overprotection full-time the way Eren and Armin had to. She hoped she'd never find out.

On cue, Mikasa asked, "Where's Armin?"

First Erna told her what she really wanted to know. "He's fine." Erna had seen him as soon as they'd reached the abandoned town that would become the second checkpoint they were setting up for god knows what. That was where they were now. "Not a scratch on him."

Mikasa seemed slightly comforted, but not by much. She didn't trust anything and she didn't like not having Armin directly under her protection and in her squad. But Erna couldn't tell her exactly where he was right now. After everyone fanning out to do a quick check that the abandoned town was safe enough, dismounting, and tying the horses, they had pretty much scattered. Most people were scouting out which houses and buildings were intact enough to function as overnight barracks. Sleeping arrangements were pretty much first come first serve. Erna didn't care. She was sure Levi wouldn't let her have a say in where she would sleep. She watched people scurry from building to building and thought that sometimes it was nice to not have choices.

Her eyes found Sasha and Connie. They were at least going about it smartly, using their 3DMG to get up and stand against the second story walls of nicer houses and look inside windows and see if the bedrooms looked comfy. Mikasa stalked off to find Armin. Erna didn't tell her that she thought Mikasa was too overprotective of Armin and that he could take care of himself. Mikasa was scary when it came to her friends.

Erna looked around at the town landscape and had an image of what it would be like if there were still people there. They were in the town center. Cobblestone streets met in a large circle with a dry fountain in the middle. As far as supply points went, it was pretty nice. It looked like the people had received the message about the breach in Shiganshina in time and were evacuated without incident. Normally in towns like these there would be rubble and dried blood splatter, no bodies. Titans never left bodies. But there wasn't any of that. Any buildings that were falling apart were strictly suffering from wear and tear and inattention over the years. The wagons were being unloaded in front of a courthouse that was now being turned into a storage shed for emergency supplies that could be gotten to in event it was needed. It was chosen because it was the biggest building. It would be the easiest to spot in a hurry.

"Oi brats!" Levi yelled from near the fountain where he was standing with Hange and Mike, "Don't waste your gas!" He was yelling at Sasha and Connie, who quickly descended the wall they were currently on. He gave them a look that said they were an utter embarrassment.

His eyes fixed on Erna, "Why the fuck are you standing there?" Erna simply shrugged at him. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Go secure a perimeter if you don't have anything to do." She flitted up to a rooftop and disappeared.

Levi turned to Mike. "Do you smell running water anywhere?" Mike shook his head. Levi scowled, "I fucking hate camping."

Hange was cheerful. "It's hardly camping. A lot of the houses are in good condition."

"If you call being dusty and full of shit 'good condition.'"

Hange teased Levi, her voice cheerful and full of sarcasm, "Do you want to try to go back to headquarters when they finish unloading? Navigate in the dark?"

Levi looked up at Mike, "Can we do that?" The stoic man shook his head again. Levi sat on the edge of the cement fountain. "Shit."

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"Close your eye and hold still…" Armin was sitting on Jean's lap. They and the others were around one of several small fires they'd made to provide some light in the town overnight. Erna had just come back from exploring the rooftops, looking for titans but not finding any, and Armin was pressing a piece of clean gauze to the bruised skin around Jean's left eye. Mikasa was glaring at them from across the fire.

Erna walked up and whistled at Jean. "You look like lost a boxing match to a titan."

"I may as well have," Jean hissed as Armin reached into the first aid kit, swabbed some gauze in alcohol and pressed it to a cut.

Erna played dumb. She didn't want to know what Mikasa would do to her if she let on that she'd already known about them and hadn't said anything. "What happened?"

Connie answered her, "You missed it. Mikasa caught them making out behind one of the houses. Then everybody lost their minds for like twenty minutes. Now we're over it… Well, except those two," he motioned towards Mikasa and Eren. Mikasa's hands were balled into fists and her jaw was visibly clenched. Eren looked too shocked and confused to be angry.

Erna tried to sound surprised. "That's wild…"

"If you hurt him, I'll kill you." Mikasa said quietly. Erna thought she was probably the scariest when she was quiet, but she didn't know. She had never heard Mikasa yell. She couldn't really imagine it.

"Mikasa…" Armin's tone was scolding. He was probably the most angry Erna had ever seen him, which was still not much. He didn't even turn around to look at her as he tended to Jean's eye, "… Don't talk about me like I'm not here."

Mikasa didn't apologize. She just switched to addressing Armin instead of Jean, "If he hurts you, I'll kill him."

"… So… um…" Erna didn't want to do anything to continue this line of conversation. She did want to find out about food and maybe water. She looked down at Sasha, "Did you guys eat already? Is there anything left?"

"I don't think so." Sasha said dismissively. Connie elbowed her. "Oh fine!" Sasha reached into her pack and pulled out a carrot and held it out to Erna.

Erna gave her and her single carrot a cold look. "I know you have more than that."

"Nope. That's all that's left. You never eat anyway, your stomach is probably so shrunken this should be enough."

"I _heard _you two in the pantry last night. Give me a roll and I won't tell Levi." She wouldn't tell him either way, it wasn't really any of her business, but she was hungry.

"You two have more food?!" Jean opened his eye to glare at them over Armin's shoulder.

Sasha groaned and shoved a roll into Erna's outstretched palm as she muttered curse words and self-pity under her breath. She opened her pack and started handing out more food to everyone.

Mikasa didn't accept anything more. She gave Sasha a serious stare, forgetting for a moment about the primary object of her hatred, "Levi's going to find out anyway when we get back. That's too much food for the kitchen staff to not notice it missing."

Sasha's lip quivered. "I couldn't help myself!"

Erna snatched a bunch of carrots from Sasha's pack, "I'm taking these too." Sasha whimpered at the loss of more food. She closed her pack and clutched it to her chest.

Erna asked, "Where's Levi?"

Sasha circled her arms around one of Erna's legs and pleaded dramatically, "Don't tell him!"

Erna pushed Sasha away, "I wasn't going to anyway! Stop being hysterical!"

Connie pulled Sasha into his arms and stroked her hair soothingly. He nodded over his shoulder, "Courthouse." Sasha buried her face into his neck. "Sash, it's okay. Relax."

"I hate running…" Erna heard Sasha whimper as she walked away.

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"How many wagons would we have with us if we took the inventory for the next checkpoint and just went straight on from there?" Levi leaned back in his chair, looking at the map on the table. They'd set it on what used to be the table for defendants. Hange sat in the other chair, but Mike stood looking out one of the windows.

Hange didn't bother to do the math. "It doesn't matter, Erwin would never go for it."

Levi muttered under his breath, "Tight-assed prick." He asked Hange again, "How many?"

Hange's eyes looked upward while she was thinking. She silently counted on her fingers. "Probably about twelve… maybe fifteen…" Levi arched an eyebrow at her. She explained, "I'm still trying to convince him to let me take more cannons."

"We can get it all done in one run. The more times we leave headquarters and make return trips, the more lives we risk."

"It would be a lot to do it all at once." Hange sighed and leaned back in her chair, putting her boots on the table. Normally Levi would scold her for that, but he didn't care. He wasn't going to touch the table. It had taken ten minutes just to get the chair he was sitting in free enough of dust for him to be okay with it.

"You have any thoughts on this, Bloodhound?"

Mike didn't turn from the window. "Hange's right. Erwin wouldn't go for it." He declined to say whether or not it was a good idea.

Levi bristled, "And we just toe the line." The courthouse door was pushed open and he turned to see Erna. She was chewing the last of a roll. Before she could say anything, he waved her away, "Aller au lit." – _(Go to bed.)_

"It's early." Erna protested after she finished chewing and swallowed.

"You're on morning watch. You have to be up by 3am."

Erna didn't complain. Waking up early didn't bother her. "Where should I sleep?"

"Do I have to hold your hand for everything?"

Erna shrugged. She guessed that _not _wanting to order her around was how he expressed himself when he was in a bad mood. She turned and began to leave.

"Wait," Levi got up from his chair, changing his mind, "I'm going with you."

"It's okay, I don't care where I sleep."

"I do." He took a gas lamp and picked his cloak up off the chair. "I want to know where to find you." He walked over and pushed her out the door ahead of him.

After they were gone, Hange folded up the map on the table. "They're cute in a scary, angry kind of way, don't you think?"

Mike only shrugged.

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"Why so far? What are you looking for? We passed like twenty perfectly good houses." Erna said as she followed behind Levi. He'd been walking in silence for almost ten minutes.

He kept walking as he said, "Rich people tend to live away from town centers. They can afford to be secluded. Look for signs of expensive landscaping."

"Like what?"

"Overgrown roses, boxwood bushes, shit like that."

Erna looked around, "… What do those look like?"

Levi stopped walking and turned around to look at her. He face-palmed as he said, "Really?" He turned and started walking again, "You were a servant in a rich household for how many years? How do you not know this shit?"

"I was a house servant. I know how to polish silver really well. I didn't go outside. I'm not a fucking gardener," she replied.

"That's why you're so pale."

"So? Why are you so pale?" She stuck her tongue out at him behind his back. "And how do you know so much anyway?"

He ignored her question. "Make yourself useful and check front doors. They'll be locked if there's anything worth taking."

Erna nodded and gave him a mock salute as she turned on her heel to check the nearest house to her right.

Levi walked over to the gate of a wrought-iron fence surrounding one large house with a completely overgrown lawn. He hit the rusted lock on the gate with the butt of one of his 3DMG handgrips and it crumbled apart allowing the gate to squeak open. He locked a blade into the handgrip and used it as a machete to cut away overgrown bushes in the way of the path to the door.

He walked up the steps to a large, solid mahogany door. The steps were a good sign. A high foundation usually meant there was a cellar. He gave the door handle a try, but it was locked. He kicked the door in on its rusty hinges easily and it fell to the floor. He stepped over it and held the lantern up, revealing a foyer paneled in rich wood. Dry, dead flowers in expensive vases were displayed on antique tables near the doors.

He heard Erna's boots padding up the steps behind him. He opened the door of the gas lantern in his hand and took a candle out of a candelabrum in the window. He lit it and handed it to her. She accepted it silently, used it to light the other two candles stuck in the candelabrum, and looked around before asking, "Why would you lock the door if you knew titans were coming and you were being evacuated?"

"People are greedy pigs. Even if they can't take their shit, they want to make sure no one else can have it either." He walked away through the archway to the left. "Check around. Look for a cellar."

Erna took the candelabrum. She asked after him before beginning to search, "Why?"

"So I can tie you up and leave you there."

There was a long pause. "… I can't tell if you're serious or if you're fucking with me," she called out. He didn't answer her.

Levi found the cellar door first, off of the kitchen. As he went down the steps, he was glad they were made of stone. Breaking his neck falling down the stairs after a board broke underneath his foot would be a shitty way to die.

The floor was dirt, but no dust came up from it, the air was too damp, which was good on two levels. One, dust is always undesirable. Two, damp air is perfect for storing wine, which was what he was looking for. He didn't have to search. The whole cellar was filled with rows of wine racks.

Levi held up the lantern, spun bottles, checked labels. He admired the system of organization, by grape rather than by year.

After a few minutes, Erna was coming down the stairs behind him. She jumped the last five steps, causing her candles to go out. "Oops." She went over to stand in Levi's light. He set the gas lamp on the floor and pulled out a bottle, taking out a handkerchief and wiping the dust away from the year on the label. Erna ran her fingers over some bottles, not particularly caring about their contents.

Levi said, "I hope you packed light." He turned her around and opened the pack on her shoulders. He put the bottle inside and then did a double take. He picked up the lantern and looked, "There's almost nothing in here."

Erna shrugged. She looked down at her 3DMG and said, "I don't need anything but this."

Levi face-palmed, "I'm not going to get into why you're wrong right now." He gave her a shove forward. "Pull any reds. Nothing dated after 800."

Erna lit her candles from the lamp on the floor and went wandering. After a minute, she called over, "What's a cabernet?" She pronounced it wrong, like 'cabinet'. She didn't even care about the answer, she just liked asking him questions that he thought were dumb or naïve to get a reaction out of him.

He corrected her, "Cabernet." He pulled a bottle and put it in his own pack. "What year?"

She squinted at the label, "702…"

Levi almost scoffed. It was unreal. "If that's what they left, I want to see what they took with them."

"So keep it?" She asked, but he didn't bother to answer her. Too obvious. She put it in her pack. "What's a Riesling?" She pronounced it like 'ree-ess-ling.'

"Sweet, shitty, you would hate it." He was only half paying attention to her, so he didn't hear her lock a blade into one of her handgrips. He did, however, hear the sound of glass breaking when she cut the top of the bottle off. He walked around the end of the wine rack he was browsing to see her, head tipped back, taking a swig from the broken bottle. She brought the bottle down, setting it neatly on the floor even though it was already broken. "You were right. I hate that." She made a disgusted face.

He should have reprimanded her, but he knew this game. "I see what you're doing. It's not going to work."

She looked at him innocently with her big, storm cloud eyes. "What am I doing?" She bit her lower lip just a little, betraying that innocent look.

"You're trying to get a rise out of me, you little slut." He turned his attention back to the wine racks. "I'm not playing with you here. Everything is filthy."

Erna pouted. The fact that he was calling her on her game didn't discourage her from wanting to play it. But since he was onto her, there was no need to be subtle. She sheathed the blade back in her scabbard and perused the rack in front of her. She picked out a bottle. "How do you feel about merlot from 724?" This she pronounced correctly.

Levi didn't bother to look at her as he twisted bottles around to look at labels. "Keep it."

Erna tossed the bottle over her shoulder. It exploded on the floor. "Oops."

He gave her a look, but refused to lose his temper or even change his tone. "Do you want to keep going?" he dared her.

Erna held up a cabernet sauvignon and dropped it. Some of the wine splashed his boots when the bottle shattered. He looked down at his boots to assess the damage, but made no reaction. Her face was just as blank as she took another bottle and threw it past his head to shatter against the far wall behind him.

Levi still hid any emotion from his voice as he told her, "You're going to pay for every single one of these when we get home."

Erna played dumb, "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

She took another bottle. Since smashing them wasn't getting any results, she held it close to her mouth and was about to blow the dust off of it to cloud the space between them until he warned her, "I wouldn't do that."

"Oh, would that upset you?" she asked innocently. "Do you want to do something about it?"

"I'll do everything when we get back," he promised before he went back to ignoring her. He wouldn't have let her get what she wanted even if the place wasn't filthy; she needed to learn a lesson about being a spoiled, manipulative little bitch. She got what she wanted too often.

"That's no fun, you won't even be angry anymore by then," she whined at him. She found it both sexy and infuriating that he was smart enough to see what she was trying to do and not letting her manipulate him and coax out the reaction she wanted. "I like it better when you lose your temper and you're all scary," she pouted. She wanted to be punished, as usual, but also she was craving an adrenaline rush. She might not have been if the mission had not been so relatively easy. She gave up trying, since he clearly wasn't going to react no matter what she did, and looked at the bottle in her hand, reading the label through the dust.

"Your candor is appreciated," he said as he put another bottle into his pack. "Your behavior is unacceptable."

Erna put her pack on the ground and crouched down to gently place bottles he had set out into it. She stuck her tongue out at him and said, "Well I'm not sorry."

"You will be." Levi always had evil ideas about what to do with her, but he had a lot of time before they would be back at headquarters. He could think of worse things. When her pack was full, he told her, "Go upstairs. Find a bed that isn't covered in rat piss."

Erna went obediently, without another word, having given up on trying to get a reaction out of him. Levi spent a while longer looking for good vintages. With limited space in his pack, he had to discard some bottles when he found better ones. He spent about fifteen minutes in the cellar before making his way upstairs. He didn't need to look around for her. It was dark and there was only candlelight coming from one room.

He found her on her knees, her 3DMG and pack removed and on the floor next to her, frantically tearing through the lower shelves of a walk-in closet, tossing sheets and blankets behind her into a pile. He felt like every time he entered a room to find her, she was doing something strange. At least she wasn't ripping the bedding with her teeth this time as far as he could tell. He sighed. "What are you doing?"

Erna tossed another sheet into the pile behind her. "Everything's moth-eaten. I'm trying to find sheets you can actually sleep on," then she muttered under her breath, "obsessive compulsive mysophobic freak."

Levi looked around. The room was beautiful once. Every piece of furniture was antique. Every piece of art was an expensive status symbol. It must have been the master bedroom. Now it was just dusty and dank and worthless aside from being a shelter with a semi-suitable mattress and box-spring. The bed was carefully made up, piled with pillows and a beautiful comforter, silk sheets, all dirty and useless to him. He wanted to rip it all from the bed, but that would result in a dust cloud. As he began carefully removing the bedding, he asked her, "Where did you learn that word?" even though he already knew the answer. He'd only ever heard one other person call him 'mysophobic.'

Erna shook out a set of fleece sheets, also moth-eaten. "Hange. She says you're mysophobic."

Levi dropped the bedding into her discard pile. "Distaste for dirt isn't the same thing as an irrational fear."

"Yeah, yeah…" she said dismissively, still tearing through the closet and tossing things. "Ack!" she shouted as she was pulled up and back to her feet too quickly. Levi lifted her by her forearm and tossed her backwards onto the bed. She landed sitting up, leaned back, and looked up at him hopefully.

"You're not going to find anything. Sleep on the bare mattress." Levi roughly grabbed her leg and pulled off one boot and then the other, letting them fall to the floor and kicking them out of the way of the bed. He tossed her leg aside and sat on the edge of the bed, kicking his own boots off.

Erna tucked her knees under her and reached for Levi, encircling her arms around his waist from behind, nuzzling at him like a cat, and licking his neck. He turned and put a hand in her hair. For a second she thought he would ruffle her hair or kiss her or something, but she quickly found herself pushed down flat against the mattress, Levi's hand gripping her curls tightly. He looked down at her face with that bored, half-lidded look to his eyes. "Go to sleep."

Erna made a whining noise as Levi let go of her hair and lay down next to her, putting a possessive arm around her. He closed his eyes and added, "You're not allowed to talk to Hange anymore."

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**(A/N) That Springles sex scene was meant to be completely serious and romantic and not comic relief, because I love them more than any other ship, but how do you write about Connie fucking Sasha on a pile of potatoes and not have it come out hilarious? Seriously, how?**

**I like the idea of Erna being traumatized by even the sound of what I will call "normal people sex."**

**Ok, that concludes my thoughts on this chapter. I can't believe you read these end of chapter A/N's. I'm embarrassed for both of us… Mostly for me though…**

**Thank you for enduring this. I love you.**


	20. Menage a Trois

**(A/N) … Eight. Teen. Thousand. And some odd. Words. Bitches.  
I made all of the things happen. Actually, there was supposed to be more. I cut some things. And by "cut some things" I mean there were some scenes I planned on inserting, but I finished the chapter this morning, decided it had taken too goddamn long to write in the first place and opted not to write them. I know. I'm a cunt like that. But hey, new chapter! Yay!**

**Also, I hate myself for the name of this chapter. So obvious. So** uncreative.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Attack on Titan or anything – none of its characters, monsters, or buildings. I own every part of my OC – even the annoying parts. **

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Erna ran along the wood shingled rooftop of a townhouse style building, a blur against the grey pre-dawn sky. Without hesitating or slowing her pace, she reached the edge of the roof, pushed off from the ball of one foot, and jumped. She shot a hook into another roof and landed on it running. Her eyes were narrowed in determination and annoyance. She was chasing after a titan – normally an easy enough thing for her. But this was turning out to actually be very difficult, since this titan was chasing after Hange who was much faster and more unpredictable than Erna ever thought to give her credit for.

As Erna tried to catch up and stay on them, Hange shot over to a building, faking right only to retract her hooks midair and redirect them over to the left, quickly swinging around to the side of the titan as it fumbled to keep up with her. The thing planted a foot, cratering the cobblestoned street, and tried to turn quickly to grab her, but it lost its balance and ran into a building, demolishing it by about half in an explosion of debris. Luckily no one was inside it. Erna was just catching up as it pushed itself up to stand again and make another grab for Hange who was standing on another roof now. She jumped back just out of the titan's reach as it grabbed for her, and then jumped back again as it swung with the other hand. She was laughing gleefully.

Erna regretted letting Hange talk her out of killing the thing when she had first spotted it. It had been around five am and Hange had been keeping Erna company on her watch shift since she was "too excited to sleep anyway." Mostly Hange had just been talking at Erna in her manic kind of way, rambling about whatever came to mind, not caring that Erna hadn't responded with a single word. She had taken Levi literally when he told her she wasn't allowed to talk to Hange anymore. That was not why she didn't protest when Hange grabbed her arm as they both spotted the titan and told her not to kill it because she wanted to "study it." She had hesitated because it was an order from a superior officer. Even though Hange was crazy, she was still a squad leader and Erna had difficulty defying orders from a figure of authority.

That difficulty waned with every second that Erna had to continue her mad dash after Hange and her titan subject. Erna's focus stayed fixed on the nape of the titan's neck as she followed behind it. The titan's focus stayed on Hange whose movements were unpredictable, thus making the titan unpredictable for Erna to follow and anticipate. She tried to get closer.

The titan apparently gave up on trying to use its hands and leapt to chomp at Hange with its teeth, only missing her by a hair. Erna shot her hooks into the roof near Hange and reeled herself in to cut the titan's neck, but it moved at the last second, following Hange as she flew towards a chimney sticking out of the roof of a house close by. Instead of landing on the Titan's shoulder, Erna's feet hit the shingles. She crouched and huffed in frustration, turning around she took off again.

Hange zig-zagged between buildings. The titan followed her mouth-first. Erna had enough. Following a titan for so long and not being able to kill it was frustrating to her very core. Instead of trying to go for the neck again, she shot her hooks into the ground ahead of the titan, hoping it and Hange would stay on course for two full seconds. She reeled herself in quickly and slashed the Achilles tendon as she flew past, hitting the ground running and flitting back up towards the rooftops as the titan stumbled on the now useless leg and fell. As soon as it was prone, Erna let herself fall and spun her blades into the nape of its neck with such force that she almost fully decapitated the thing.

Hange cried "Nooo!" as she maneuvered down to the ground and ran over to the steaming monster. Erna sheathed her blades and walked away, completely past the point of listening to or caring about Hange anymore.

Everyone was awake and outside now. There was a flurry of activity as some maneuvered along the rooftops to lookout for any more titans, some were getting the horses ready to go, and some were just trying to collect their wits and fully wake up and take in the situation. The sun was only just starting to rise.

Erna went back to the rooftop she had left her pack on and raised it carefully to her shoulders before shooting her hooks to a point midway down the exterior wall of another house and arcing down gently to the ground, bending her knees to absorb the shock and prevent any of the wine bottles in the pack from breaking. She walked back towards the town center and found Levi and Mike standing at the dry fountain.

When she got close, Levi shot her a look, "Was that necessary?" He asked, referring to the minor debacle.

It wasn't. There wasn't an excuse for it, but Erna tried to defend herself or at least shift the blame. "Hange told me not to kill it!"

Levi didn't lose his temper, he just raised an eyebrow and said calmly, "I don't give a shit what Hange says and neither should you. You take orders from this hulking idiot," he pointed at Mike with his thumb, "Not Hange." Mike said nothing, but sneered at Levi who ignored him and went on, "And when you're on watch you're meant to kill titans before they become a problem, not let them play tag with crazy Shit-Glasses over there."

Erna turned to look over her shoulder. She could make out Hange scurrying around the dead titan, trying to touch it despite the burning heat. Poor Moblit was trying to restrain her before she severely burnt herself. It was comical, but Erna couldn't laugh. She had made an error in judgment and she knew it. She should have gone with her gut instinct from the beginning. She didn't want to admit it or apologize. That was too much a blow to her pride. She tried to deflect the blame again, "But Hange…"

Mike didn't let her continue, "You're supposed to be working on thinking for yourself."

Erna sighed in defeat and felt very sorry for herself. "I'm no good at this whole thinking thing. I'm good at taking orders. Can't I just do that?" She crossed her arms, leaned on one hip, and looked away from them as she blew a curl away from her eyes.

"No. Get good at it. No one's going to babysit you," Levi answered. He was irritated because it wasn't that she wasn't good at thinking, it was just that she didn't want to take any responsibility for her actions. On top of that he hated the very rare occasions when she showed even slight signs of self-pity. It didn't suit her.

Hange flew over, dropping down a ways behind Erna and walking up, sighing, "So disappointing. I had a feeling that one was special. You didn't need to kill it like that."

"We're not here for research," Levi reminded her. He glanced around at the relative chaos Hange and Erna's misadventure had caused. His eyes came to rest on Erna again. She was blowing on her palms and shaking out her fingers. He strode over to her and grabbed her hands, turning her palms up. They were raw and red where her fingers met her palms. "Why didn't you wrap these?"

Erna shrugged. "I thought fresh air was good for blisters," she lied.

"You didn't pack gauze or bandages?" He asked even though he knew the answer. Before they filled it with bottles of wine there was nothing in her pack but a waterskin and carrots. She looked down and away. He let go of her hands. "Tch. You're going to get an infection. This is why you pack more than your maneuver gear," he scolded her as he shrugged off his pack and took out some gauze, roughly grabbing her wrist and pulling her closer so he could wrap her hands.

Hange brought her hands to her face, and did a little happy dance, "Aww, Levi, sooo cayute! Who knew you could be so caring?" she teased him.

"Tch." Levi turned to see Hange and Mike both smiling at him smugly. "Te faire foutre avec quelque chose de rude et épineux… lunettes de merde." He turned back to Erna's hands, she held out one hand palm up and he quickly and carefully wrapped it in gauze. Erna was blushing and looking at the ground, equally as embarrassed by the attention from Hange and Mike as she was by Levi treating her like a child.

"Aww, what does that mean? Is it something sweet?" Hange would not let up. She had to rub it in every time Levi did anything remotely nice. She loved catching him being solicitous with Erna. She thought they were both adorably angry and fun to embarrass and annoy.

Levi ignored Hange. Erna creased her brow in thought and translated, "It means something like, 'fuck yourself with something rough, shit-glasses.'"

Levi corrected her, "Rough and thorny, _épineux_ is thorny. You're getting better though." He was actually a little impressed with how quickly she was picking up French just from listening to him. He never sat her down and actually taught her anything. He didn't have the time or patience for it.

Hange frowned. Erna smiled. Levi continued to perform basic first aid on her, scolding her again and muttering, "Learn to take care of yourself. You're like a fucking animal." He finished with her hand and let it fall to her side. "And don't smile. You're still in a lot of trouble."

Erna's lips fell into a solemn, straight line and she saluted with her bandaged hands.

Levi looked around. The general panic that had been going on all around them was finally beginning to settle down. "Go get your horse. We may as well head out since you and Hange got everyone shitting themselves."

Erna nodded and walked away. Hange sighed with an air of despair, "It was just one little titan, couldn't have been more than eight meters. I wanted to watch it for a while. I can't believe she killed it before I got to make any meaningful observations."

"I was about to kill it if she didn't catch you," Levi said nonchalantly.

Hange pouted. "You're both mean."

"And you're insane," Levi said, as long as they were stating obvious facts.

"Insane for science!" Hange responded enthusiastically.

"If you'd let it get over here, it could have killed people." Mike's voice was quiet, serious, he rarely wasted words on things that weren't serious.

"Of course I wouldn't let that happen. I was intentionally keeping my pattern erratic to get a feeling for its reaction time and muscle coordination." Hange gave both of them her best _Trust me, I'm a scientist_ face.

Levi brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose. "Keep it up with this shit and Erwin will bring the hammer down on your pet project. Don't fuck this up for me. I pushed for your shitty idea because I want to get out of that overcrowded shit-heap of a castle. I need a vacation from Commander Eyebrows hanging on my dick."

"It's not just a pet project! My research could unlock the secret to saving humanity." Hange smiled as her thoughts drifted to thinking up names for new titan pets… er, research subjects. She shook her head, "This is for science! It's important, don't trivialize my work! It could be the key to a titan-less world!"

Mike looked down at Levi, "When we get to the vacation resort, I want a room far away from yours…" Hange fumed at the continued implication that the mission to further her research was akin to some kind of holiday break for them.

Levi narrowed his eyes at Mike and then shrugged, "I gave you earplugs and I gag the succubus every night. What more do you want me to do?"

"It's not the noises, though those are also disturbing. It's the smells. That girl is drenched in pheromones… and you smell like heavy duty cleaning solution… It's not a good combination…"

Hange snickered to herself, "Commander Eyebrows…"

Levi just shrugged again. "Put the earplugs in your nose. Breathe through your mouth. Problem solved."

Mike gave Hange a hopeful look, "Can I room with you until we leave for vacation?" He maintained a straight face but he was, in fact, teasing her.

Hange creased her eyebrows, glaring at both of them before storming off.

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Erna walked over to where her squad's horses were tied. People were rushing everywhere, getting ready on the off chance that Levi would decide they would move out early since everyone was awake now. Erna saw Armin, ready and standing with his horse, looking somewhat tense.

Most everyone else wasn't ready yet. It took a few expeditions or missions outside the walls to get used to the _hurry up and wait_ of breaking things down, getting your wits about you, and getting organized and ready to go in less than a few minutes. It made it easy to spot rookies. Erna saw one short brunette girl, whose name she still had not bothered to learn, finish tacking up her horse and let out a breath, looking to Armin and cheerfully announcing, "Ready!"

Armin's eyes squinted as he smiled at her enthusiasm and he gently reminded her, "Where's your pack?"

The girl's face fell and she groaned. She didn't answer, but she ran off, obviously having forgotten it back inside whichever house she had slept in.

Erna came up beside Armin and frowned. "I thought we were supposed to have the brainy squad."

"Tactical or strategic intelligence doesn't always translate into good memory and common sense when in new situations or under pressure…" Armin said this quietly and thoughtfully. Then he perked up, flashing a kind smile at her, "Besides, it's only their first mission, we all have to start somewhere."

Erna scowled at the whole idea. She was not as patient or compassionate as Armin about the learning curve of new recruits. "I hate your optimism. Where's Jean?" She would prefer Jean's cynicism right now. She saw another rookie squad member go to put Raven's saddle on, trying to be helpful. She calmly said, "Don't" at the boy, but she either hadn't said it quickly enough or he hadn't heard her before Raven kicked at him.

The hapless kid jumped back and stumbled as Erna continued, "Don't drop my fucking saddle or I will use your face to polish away the scuff marks." He then raised his arms as he fell on his ass, making sure Erna's saddle didn't touch the ground. She walked over and gently took it from his hands, satisfied at the wide-eyed expression of terror on his face, she balanced the saddle on her hip and extended a hand to help him up.

"Sorry," the kid took her hand and she pulled him up. Once standing, he started to properly introduce himself, "I'm –"

Erna cut him off with a simple "Nope," as she turned away and went to saddle Raven, the kid still standing with his hand extended in confusion.

Armin gave him a warm _please forgive her _look and attempted to gently coax Erna into behaving more sociably. He was well practiced at that, given the tempers of his closest friends. "Erna, there's no reason to be impolite. Making new acquaintances won't hurt you."

Erna didn't look at him as she responded in her brattiest tone, "You don't know that. Maybe I'm allergic to kindness. Maybe you and Krista give me hives," as she cinched the girth.

Armin went over to the nervous kid and put a gentle hand on his back, pushing him over to Erna and forcing the introduction on her, "Erna, this is Konrad Jürgen."

Erna glared at the boy with a coldness that made him literally shiver. He had very short, dark hair. Sort of a baby face, she thought, not too round or undefined, he had a good jaw line and cheekbones, but he just looked so young. They all looked young… and frightened… and she thought they should look frightened. They were relying on pure luck from moment to moment. It was only luck that every second ticked by without a mass of titans coming and devouring them all. These kinds of thoughts were what made her eyes get so dark and cold whenever she looked at new recruits. She could tell he obviously wanted to get away from her, but Armin held him in place with a hand gripping his upper arm. Armin knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't do anything violent, so he pressed her, "You don't have to be friendly, but don't you think you should at least know the names of your squad members?"

Erna stared at the kid and watched small beads of sweat form on his forehead for about a minute. Armin didn't let up, holding the kid there and waiting for her to acknowledge his existence with words. Finally Erna broke her intimidating eye contact with the kid to look at Armin who gave her a smile that said _You're not scary to me because I know how nice you are deep down_. Erna finally sighed in exasperation and extended her hand to the kid, "Nice to meet you, Konrad. I am Erna and I sincerely hope you don't die slowly and painfully in some horrifying manner."

Konrad shook Erna's hand, but did not feel any better, "…. Thank you?"

Armin smiled at Erna as she took her hand back, "See? That wasn't bad." He let go of Konrad's arm and the boy backed away a few steps before turning and walking quickly away to check on other preparations that would involve him being out of Erna's line of sight for a while.

Erna growled at Armin, "You know I don't like naming them before they've survived at least a year." She set her pack down on the ground. Wine bottles were heavy. Armin just gave her that knowing smile, which further infuriated her. "I'm not like Jean. You're not going to get at my sweet center. I don't have one." She looked around. "Where is he anyway?"

"He went to watch for titans." Armin looked towards the rooftops, but Jean was nowhere in sight.

Erna grabbed Raven's bridle and put the reins over her head. "Where did you last see Eren and Mikasa?"

Armin quietly said, "They wouldn't do anything…" but he didn't sound sure. His whole face betrayed his concern.

"Did you talk to them last night?" Erna held the bit out for Raven, but the horse turned away, not in the mood to accept it.

"I didn't. I thought they could use some time to cool off."

Erna struggled with Raven's bridle, "Well... I guess..." She got the bit past Raven's lips, but the horse wouldn't open her teeth. "You would know… better than…" Erna put her thumb in the corner of Raven's mouth, got her to open it, and quickly pulled the bit up and in, "anyone." She patted Raven's head and the horse gave her a swift shove with her nose, sending Erna flying back a few feet. Erna brushed off her shirt and casually picked up her pack before looking at Armin. He looked like he was struggling with not worrying about it. She sighed. Those big blue eyes. They were a curse. "Do you want me to go look for him?"

Armin smiled, "I'll take the ground if you take the rooftops."

Erna tied Raven to a post with the other horses, put her pack down again, and was gone, up in the air in a flash.

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Erna spent some time flying around the rooftops at high speeds, going out in concentric circles from where she started. She wished she had told Armin to use a flare or something if he found Jean first. She hadn't come up with anything yet. Other soldiers did not know what she was talking about when she asked them whether they had seen a guy with a horse face recently.

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"Hey." Armin had at least found Eren in the most logical place. He was ready and waiting to go with Levi and everyone at the front of the formation that was slowly coming together. Ever since Erna had been transferred, Eren was once again Levi's scapegoat and general whipping post, so he did what he could to not give the short-tempered captain any excuses to knock his teeth out.

"Oh, hey," Eren tried to give Armin his most casual smile. He felt very awkward still. Even though he considered Armin his closest friend, he had never pictured him as someone who would even want a romantic relationship. He'd never dated, they'd never talked about sex, and Eren just didn't think about Armin as being… so normal. Armin had always been idealized in Eren's head as being so above all of that, too smart for romance or sex. He felt a little guilty about not knowing his best friend as well as he thought. Then there was the added awkwardness of the object of Armin's affection turning out to be the one person Eren couldn't stand. That just baffled him. He didn't even want to think about it.

"Have you seen Jean?"

_Damnit._ Eren shook his head. "Not since last night."

"… Are you okay?"

Eren brought his hand to the back of his head, closed his eyes, and smiled. "Yeah! I'm great."

He was not being very convincing, but Armin didn't want to push it. For one thing, it didn't seem like the right time. For another, he could understand if Eren was a little shocked still. Getting caught in the middle of a passionate make out session with Jean was not how he would have chosen for Eren and Mikasa to find out, but there wasn't anything he could do about it now. He would give Eren some more time to process it before trying to force a discussion.

Levi turned around to inquire, "Oi Armin, where are the brats?"

Armin blinked at him. It was difficult to tell who the captain was specifically speaking of when he used the same noun to refer to just about everyone. He would not, of course, point that out to Levi. So he just responded with, "Um…"

Levi let out an impatient sigh. "Mikasa, Jean, Erna. We're waiting on them," he looked at Armin as if it was his fault that they weren't there and ready to go and he expected him to do something about it.

Armin started to stammer, "I – I don't…"

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With no one left milling around the town on the ground or on the rooftops, Jean and Mikasa were much easier for Erna to spot. She maneuvered quickly over a few roofs to the human shaped specks she had spotted from far off. As she got closer she could hear the shouting.

Erna shot a hook into the roof they were on, propelled herself up, let go and let gravity pull her to land right in between them. She didn't care to try and mediate. She simply said, "We're leaving."

Jean and Mikasa didn't move. They glared at each other over Erna's head. Erna hated being short sometimes. She turned to Mikasa, who she assumed was the aggressor here. She figured there was no way Jean could be dumb enough to start something with her here. "Could we not with this right now? You can do whatever to him when we get back."

Jean answered before Mikasa could. "No, let's get this over with." And Erna wondered if he was really dumber than she already thought.

Erna saw Mikasa grit her teeth. She hissed out, "I won't let you take advantage of Armin. Leave him alone or I'll make you."

"I'm not taking advantage of anyone! Do whatever you want, I'm not going to leave him alone. I love him." Jean yelled.

If the situation were less tense, Erna would have teased Jean for admitting to being in love. She made a mental note to do that later after she got them to their squads and everyone was home. She tried to affect a calming tone.

"Mikasa, I know you think Jean's an asshole, rightly so, but I assure you that he and Armin are deep in gross, stupid, romantic love and there's no reason to worry about Armin getting hurt, because honestly, if we should worry about anyone, it's probably Jean. Armin will probably break up with him when he comes to his senses." Jean narrowed his eyes at the back of Erna's head. He reached out and pinched her shoulder hard, making her jump and yelp.

Mikasa balled her hands into fists. "I'm only protecting him. He's my family."

Jean tried to push Erna out of the way, but she struggled to maintain her footing as he yelled over her at Mikasa, "You have a shitty way of protecting your family. If you care so much, then stop treating him like a fucking kid!"

Erna saw Mikasa's shoulder twitch. She ducked to the side. Mikasa grabbed Jean by his collar and spun him around, throwing him about fifteen feet. He slid to a stop just at the edge of the roof.

Erna sighed, "Okay, at least we're moving in the direction of the formation. That's progress."

Jean shook himself off and stood up. He gave Mikasa a snide smirk as he used his 3DMG to maneuver away. Mikasa growled and went chasing after him. Erna quickly made a grab for her cloak to try and stop her, but it slipped through her hands. Erna watched them for a second and sighed before taking off. She was tired of chasing things.

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"Tch." Levi's patience was wearing thin. "Do you need an article of clothing or something to pick up the scent?"

"No." Mike knew Levi was only trying to annoy him, comparing him to a bloodhound again. He ignored it. Sniffed the air. They were anxious to leave. Hange and Erna's titan debacle could actually turn out to be a positive thing if it resulted in everyone being ready and leaving earlier… If they didn't have to waste time searching for Jean, Erna, and Mikasa. He and Levi were both getting annoyed, especially after Hange gloated about her squad being all ready to go.

Now they were trying to decide if it was worth it to break up the formation in order to find them. Everyone was ready and in position to leave. Mike sniffed again and turned around, looking to the east side of the fountain marking the center of the town. "They're in that direction."

"Can you tell how far?" Levi asked.

Mike shook his head. He had only smelled them for a moment. They probably weren't staying still.

"So … go fetch."

Mike gave Levi a look. He wouldn't even dignify that with a response. He wasn't going to jump to take orders from Levi and the sarcastic, short man knew it. He was just being a smartass.

They both stayed on their horses, watching in the direction Mike thought he smelled them from. After a few seconds, Levi was about to bark at Eren to go find his sister and friends, but just as he opened his mouth, they saw Jean fly out from between two buildings and hit the ground running. Mikasa appeared a second after him with Erna on her heels.

"Found them." Mike said.

Erna made a dive and caught Mikasa's ankle, making her fall and yelling, "Mikasa! We all want to beat the shit out of Jean, but there's no time!"

Jean stopped running. As he turned around to check that Erna had Mikasa momentarily restrained, he noticed that everyone was ready and waiting for them. He shrugged, brushed himself off and walked past the two to get in formation. Mikasa tried to push Erna away with her foot as she yelled, "Let go! I'm going to kill him!"

Erna quickly crawled up to straddle Mikasa and pin her until she calmed down, but before she could, Mikasa flipped over and grabbed Erna's wrists. They grappled for a minute. Jean went and joined the formation, putting on a smug look as if he was above it all and completely innocent of being involved in any of this.

Mike looked at Levi. "Do you want to break that up so we can leave?"

Levi scowled at Mike. He _did_ want to leave. He did_ not_ want to try to get in the middle of Mikasa and Erna. One of them he could probably restrain without too much difficulty, but both of them together could probably tear even Mike limb from limb in a few seconds. And they both had that rabid look. Best not to fuck with it. He didn't answer. He turned and said, "Oi, Eren," in his bored deadpan. "Go break that up."

Eren stood like a deer in headlights. He didn't move. He was trying to figure out what would be worse, taking a chance at getting his ass kicked by Mikasa or Erna if he tried to get between them or the certainty that Levi would kick his ass if he didn't. He watched the girls. Mikasa tried to push Erna away as she bucked her hips to throw her, but the delicate-looking, doll-like girl had a lot more strength than one would guess and she was used to being bucked around by an 1100 lb horse, so Mikasa was nothing to her. He took a halting step forward. He already knew what it felt like to get his ass kicked by Levi. Maybe Mikasa and Erna wouldn't be so bad.

Connie grabbed the sleeve of Eren's jacket. "No, wait." Everyone looked at Connie who was fixated on watching Mikasa and Erna. "I've had dreams that start this way. Let's see how this plays out."

There was a beat of silence before Levi said, "Oi, keep my slave out of your masturbatory fantasies."

"And my sister," Eren pulled his arm abruptly from Connie's grasp.

Sasha simply brought a fist down square on the top of Connie's skull. He winced and rubbed his head where she'd hit him, saying defensively, "What? You were there too!"

Mikasa managed to throw Erna off and jumped to her feet to go rearrange Jean's smug face. Erna quickly lunged to make a grab for Mikasa's ankle again, but she just missed. She didn't make any further effort as Mikasa stalked away. She didn't really have much invested in whether or not Jean got destroyed. She didn't have a strong sense of social justice. She'd only wanted to stop them so that she could get them to the formation and they could leave. Now that they were at least in the right place, she felt cleared of any responsibility. She gingerly got herself up and dusted herself off. Then she looked past Mikasa's back to throw Jean an evil smirk, wordlessly letting him know that he was on his own now and she was going to enjoy the show. His smug face turned to one of apprehension as he realized how much shit he was in.

Levi knew he could pull rank and order Mikasa to stop in her tracks before she reached Jean and thoroughly assaulted him. He probably would before things got to be what he considered 'out of hand.' But for now he didn't mind letting this go on a little longer as it was at least mildly entertaining.

Mikasa was locked onto Jean, losing sight of everyone else and thinking of nothing but how much she wanted to hurt him for taking advantage of one of her dearest friends and being in a position to cause Armin any emotional pain. She wanted to rip his slimy, smug face off and grind it into the dirt.

Suddenly before she could even close most of the 30 foot gap between her and Jean, Armin was in front of her, blocking Jean's slimy, smug face from her vision. She was about to move around him, but Armin's quiet, stern, and slightly sad voice held her as he said, "Mikasa… Stop…"

She did stop, and she looked mildly shocked, like she had just been woken from a dream to see Armin's very determined face in front of her. "But…" she began.

Armin wasn't angry. For the most part, he truly felt bad for Mikasa. She let herself get so wrapped up in her love for her friends and with such devotion that she had very little room to think about her needs or take care of herself. She really did act like a mother to him and Eren and gave them all of the love and self-sacrifice that a mother would. She had been doing that since they were young and they probably wouldn't be there without her. For that Armin felt eternally grateful, but he didn't need the protection anymore.

He reached out and held Mikasa's shoulders as he said quietly, "You can't do this anymore. You need to let me be an adult and make mistakes and maybe get hurt. I only need you to love me and be there for me if I need a shoulder to cry on and I'll do the same for you, okay?"

"Armin…" Mikasa's voice got soft as her eyes welled up with tears. The realization that she was more upset about her changing relationship with her friends than about Jean came to the surface of her consciousness. Being a protector and their rock was the only way she knew how to express her love for Eren and Armin, but as they were getting older, Armin was getting stronger and Eren was getting less impulsive and it was hard for her to figure out her role with them anymore. It made her feel like she was losing them. She blinked her tears away and they ran down her cheeks. She pulled Armin into the tightest hug. It took every ounce of her considerable emotional strength to not break down sobbing in his arms.

Erna sighed and leaned on her hip as she watched them. She was disappointed on a couple of levels. She thought it would have been fun to watch Mikasa make Jean scream and possibly cry. Also, seeing Mikasa suddenly get emotional was very disconcerting. She really was like a parent to her friends, even Erna could admit that she indulged in using Mikasa as a sort of replacement maternal figure, and it is extremely troubling to see your parent in a vulnerable state. She would have done anything to make Mikasa stop crying, but she felt this didn't involve her. She awkwardly walked past Mikasa and Armin to join her squad, taking the reins of Raven's bridle from a green soldier whose name she still hadn't learned. Then she glared at Jean. "I blame you for this."

That snapped Jean out of his state of mixed apprehension and confusion. He turned to her and gave her a snide look, narrowing his eyes and crinkling his nose. "How?! How is this my fault?"

Erna said in an exasperated sigh, "I don't know…" She thought about it. "If you could have kept your hands to yourself for one whole night, she never would have known."

"It takes two people. You can't put all the blame on me."

"Yes I can. It's easy." She nodded in Armin's direction as he was smoothing a hand over Mikasa's hair while she cried into his shoulder. "How could I blame him for anything ever? Look at him."

Jean turned to watch Armin again and his snide attitude melted, "You're right."

"He's the best and you are like literally the worst," she went on. "You two are like sunlight and darkness. He's all intelligent and kind and you're a dumb jerk." She paused, trying to think of more. "Also, he's beautiful and you have a horse face."

He sneered, baring his teeth as he hissed out at her, "You can stop that now."

She smiled, "I wouldn't want you to be any other way. You'd be no fun at all."

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Erna didn't feel tired until the second Raven's hooves hit the drawbridge. It was like her body was holding back all feelings of fatigue until it was finally at headquarters again where it would be safe to rest. There was normally a relief team ready for the squads as they returned from missions, there to take the horses, put things away, provide medical attention and triage if needed. It was all very efficient, a system of Erwin's design. But they had returned a few hours earlier than expected, which was unprecedented as far as Erna knew, and so there was more confusion and scrambling and less efficiency than usual.

Erna's knees almost buckled when she dismounted. She was sore all over. Too much riding, too much chasing, not enough sleep and no coffee. She didn't want to have to wait for someone to take her horse so that she could go inside and pass out, so she started leading Raven towards the stables. Before she took more than a few steps, someone ran over and offered, "I'll take your horse for you, Miss Raban."

She snapped, but in a cold, quiet way. "Don't… call me that." She didn't shout. She had no energy for shouting. She handed over the reins without further argument and the soldier walked away with Raven. Erna set down her pack of wine bottles and stretched her tight back by reaching down to touch her toes.

Armin had overheard her bristle at the honorific, so he went over and reminded her, "They wouldn't call you that if you made an effort to be personable. They use a formal name with you because you're so severe." He was genuinely trying to be helpful.

Erna did not want 'helpful.' She stretched up and bent her leg back, grabbing her ankle behind her and stretching her quads. She said sarcastically, "Thank you for the suggestion, but I'm pretty sure if I just kill the next few people who call me 'Miss,' it will have the same desired effect." She set her foot down and bent her other leg back and said more sincerely and quietly, "Stop trying to make me nice."

"I'm not trying. You _are _nice."

Jean was nearby, listening to them as he waved away a member of the medical staff who wanted to check out his black eye. He called over, "No she's not."

"See?" Erna said. "Jean knows."

Armin smiled. He had objective evidence that he could bring up to prove Erna's friendliness if they wanted to make a debate of it.

Erna didn't like that look. Armin's bright-eyed smile said that he was about to get into one of his intelligent and lengthy explanations. Just as he started to open his mouth she stamped her foot, "Don't you start!"

Armin stopped, confused, "Start what?"

"Don't start being all intelligent and objective and over-explaining things!"

Armin didn't get it. "But your behavior consistently shows –"

Erna cut him off there by whining loudly, "Jeeannnnn, make him stop."

Jean came over and smiled as he took Armin's hand and began dragging him away. Jean liked when he got all technical. He thought it was sexy and liked to try to fluster Armin with teasing whenever he was trying to make a point or explain something. "Come on, let's go back to the room and you can spell out your argument and try to convince me."

Erna breathed a sigh of relief. She avoided being outed as a slightly soft and nice person yet again. She needed to be more careful about giving off even hints of compassion. It was hard with Armin though. He definitely brought it out in people. But with him gone, she could properly scowl again. She picked up her heavy pack and trudged toward the castle.

She wondered how much her pack was worth now. She wondered how much that whole cellar would be worth. Not that she cared about money, but she knew someone who did and she wondered if it was worth telling Erwin about it. She didn't know if she should bring it up. She wondered if he would have reservations about the morality of looting abandoned houses in titan territory. So much she didn't understand about the right and wrongness of things. She decided to ignore the issue, try to turn her brain off, and go melt in a hot bath for a while.

"Erna." Levi's voice stopped her. She looked up. She hadn't been aware that she'd been about to walk into him as she was walking with her head down. She perked up a little at the use of her name. She liked the way he said it. It sounded better coming from him. Everything did.

Her face was so easy to read. He could see her forget whatever had been keeping her head down in thought. Her pupils slowly dilated a little and her expression softened. He asked her, only slightly mocking, "You like that, don't you, Erna?"

His evil, mocking tone did nothing to snap her out of the languid state his use of her name put her into. "Hmm?"

"When I use your name."

"Yes," she answered eagerly, hoping he would do it again. He so rarely used anyone's real name, least of all hers. He knew it drove her crazy. She didn't understand why he would even ask, it was so obvious.

He took her face in his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. He said slowly and deliberately, "That's the last time you're going to hear it for some time. You aren't deserving of a name anymore." He took a second to watch the confusion and anxiety play over her face. He leaned down, now almost whispering. "Go back to the apartment, get cleaned up. I want you in the living room, naked, and on your knees by the time I get up there." He let that sink in before informing her, "You're in _so_ much trouble."

He took his hands away from her as he heard Erwin's footsteps coming up behind him. Erna didn't move, her mouth half-open in shock. Levi gave her a shove in the direction of the castle, snapping her out of it enough to get her moving. "Better hurry," he warned her.

Erwin nodded at Erna as she passed him, but she didn't react. He stopped at Levi. "She looks dazed."

"Rough couple of days," Levi responded with a nonchalant shrug.

"Anything particularly rough?" Erwin looked around. "You're back early."

"Actually, everything was smooth. Supplies were stored easily. No casualties except for one titan, three wine bottles, Mikasa's sanity, and my last ounce of patience for Hange."

Erwin raised his eyebrows. "Sounds like it should be easy for you to have a report done by later tonight then."

Levi narrowed his eyes at Erwin. "Fuck you up the ass with your paperwork."

Erwin just laughed. Then he straightened his face again. "In all seriousness though, I would rather have it before tomorrow." Erwin hated delays. There was never any reason to put off work if it could be done now.

Levi never doubted Erwin's seriousness. He opened his pack and showed him the six wine bottles he had fit into it. "Courtesy of supply point #2. I might look into getting a vacation home there."

Erwin wouldn't have known he was joking from the tone. Levi's jokes were always in the same deadpan with which he delivered anything else. He looked closely and was shocked. Old, good wine vintages were impossible to find. They weren't even on the black market anymore. "Levi, you can't…"

"Don't act like you don't take bribes." Levi knew Erwin too well to buy the whole clean-cut golden boy act. "Just come over tonight for a bottle and we'll forget about the report until tomorrow." He closed the pack again and put it over his shoulder.

Erwin gave it a moment of consideration. "You promise nothing remarkable happened?"

"On my honor," Levi said ironically.

Erwin weighed the pros and cons a few seconds longer before giving up. "Need me to bring anything? Do you have a corkscrew?"

"Tch. Obviously." Levi walked away muttering, "_Quel genre d'homme ne possède pas de tire-bouchon_?" (What kind of man doesn't own a corkscrew?)

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When Erna set foot inside the castle, she started running. She had finally started to process and realize the gravity of the situation. As she got closer to the apartment, she replayed everything she'd done the night before in her head. There was no question in her mind that she should be worried. She took the stairs two and three at a time, struggling at first to adjust to the weight of the pack and the effort she had to put into moving herself.

"Why didn't I believe him?" she whined to herself. If she'd thought even a little into the future when she'd been purposely trying to irritate him, she could have predicted that he would absolutely follow through with what he'd said about punishing her for everything later. At the time her thinking had been that his anger would be minimized and the punishment wouldn't be severe if he waited rather than doing it in the moment, or that he would even forget about it, but the way his voice had sounded just now outside made her realize that she'd had it completely backwards. Of course he wouldn't forget to make her pay for her bratty behavior. It's not like he had a lot of other distractions or ways of entertaining himself. He'd probably been thinking about it for at least a large part of the way back.

"Fucked up… I fucked up…" she huffed out as she hit the top of the stairs, out of breath. She sprinted for the apartment door, almost unable to stop herself in time, not taking into account how the extra weight on her back gave her a greater inertia than she was used to. She grabbed the door handle and used it to keep herself from catapulting past the door, swung it open, launched herself inside, closing it behind her and kicking her boots off with the same speed and concentration she usually reserved only for life-threatening situations. She slowed down for a second to gently set her pack down next to her boots. She tried to remember how many bottles she had broken trying to get a reaction out of Levi. Was it three? Or four? It couldn't have been more than four.

She got out of her 3DMG and clothes in record time and started the shower running. She didn't even wait for the water to heat up. She screamed and tensed up when she jumped in and the cold water hit her, but she wouldn't slow down. She had no idea how much time Levi would give her, so she went with the assumption that she had no time, just to be safe. Though that thought didn't make her feel safer.

Her lips formed a small smile as she laughed at herself inwardly. Last night she had been trying to get an adrenaline rush by way of provoking him. She was definitely getting that now - when she didn't want it. She was mentally and physically exhausted even with the little burst of energy the fear and anticipation gave her, she just wanted to curl up in bed and sleep for days. The exhaustion made it impossible to even get a truly satisfying adrenaline rush. Her heart was only pounding dully and the language part of her brain still had the ability to form full sentences.

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Levi closed the apartment door behind him. He set his pack down, took the green cloak off and threw it on a chair. He could hang it up later. He wasn't always exactly as obsessive compulsive as the rumors went.

He moved to open his pack and retrieve a wine bottle, but he stopped himself. "Corkscrew…" He walked through the living room to the hallway to go get the corkscrew from his desk in the office. He did nothing to acknowledge the presence of the paper-white-skinned naked girl on her knees in front of the coffee table with her hands resting on her lap and eyes pointed at the stone floor.

Erna felt a drop of water fall from one of her still wet curls onto her shoulder. She fought the urge to wipe it away. She didn't want to get caught moving. She got a very uneasy feeling when Levi behaved calmly. She liked it better when he was visibly angry or even when he fully lost his temper. That would be less frightening.

As he walked back in with the corkscrew, he finally addressed her, "Do you know why you're in trouble?"

She kept her head tilted down, but watched him under the veil of her eyelashes as he went through his pack, apparently looking for a particular bottle. She wanted to be careful with her words, but also didn't want to take too long to answer. "Because I was a brat?" She immediately worried that her answer was not specific enough. "Last night… I was trying to get a rise out of you."

Levi found what he was looking for. He pulled out a bottle of Syrah – high in alcohol and low in acidity. He still didn't look at her. He twisted the corkscrew into the center of the cork. "And why would you do that?" he asked.

"Because I wanted it. I wanted to get you to punish me." She did not like this delay in finding out what he was going to do. She started to think maybe it was nothing. Maybe he was doing all of this to unnerve her and after some questioning he would let her go to bed.

He popped the cork and set it and the corkscrew on a side table next to the couch. "How?"

"Hmm?" She lost track, got distracted by thoughts about the comfy bed she wanted to curl up in.

"How did you want me to punish you?" He brought the bottle to his lips, tilted his head back and took a long drink.

The way he said it made her feel it was a trick question or a trap. Like this whole line of questioning was setting her up. She felt constrained. She was only ever able to answer honestly. "I wanted you to hurt me."

His voice dropped at least an octave. "Do I not hurt you enough?"

Erna didn't know how to answer that. He took another swig from the bottle while she had her internal struggle. He let her squirm with that for a few seconds before asking, "Do you want to decide how and when I punish you?"

Erna lowered her eyelashes and shook her head emphatically. She felt thoroughly ashamed of herself.

"No? I figured you did since you keep trying to provoke me."

He moved across the room to stand in front of her. She didn't look up, so he bent over a little and tilted her chin up to look at him. Her eyes were wide. She looked confused and helpless. So new.

"Do you know why I like to hurt you?"

She shook her head. She didn't know and had honestly never even taken a moment to think about it.

"Because you like it so much." He ran his thumb over her lower lip, pressing it down a little. "From when I first saw you… You were begging to be broken." Her eyelids closed a little and her head lolled. She was getting hazy. He pinched her chin firmly between his thumb and forefinger and moved her head to look square at him. This was important. When her eyes showed alertness, again locked on his, he let go and straightened up to stand tall before her.

"You're a slut for pain."

Erna thought he was right, but she still didn't see the point. If he liked hurting her and she liked – no, _loved_ – being hurt, then there was no problem. She watched him carefully as he took another drink.

"That's why we're having this discipline problem…" he sighed. He brought one foot up to her shoulder and tipped her towards him, moving her down until her chin was nearly on his other boot. He moved his foot to press down between her shoulder blades.

"Lick it," he said casually.

She paused, confused. She tried to lift her shoulders and neck to look up at him, but he held her down with his boot on her back.

He explained, "You got my boots dirty last night. I don't think I should have to be the one to clean them." He pressed his hell into her back, just enough to put some pressure on her. He restrained himself from causing her any pain, though he would have loved to.

Erna remembered the wine from one broken bottle getting on his boots. She wished she could take that back. She still hesitated, so Levi reminded her, "If you wanted to keep your dignity, you shouldn't have acted like a brat." He prompted her again, demanding, "Lick it clean…"

Erna was less than thrilled with the idea. She wondered if she really didn't want to be able to decide how and when he punished her. But he pressed her down until her nose was against the leather of his boot and it gave her a feeling like a light electrical current up and down her spine. She knew that if he really were to offer her that level of power and control, she wouldn't want it. She would rather take the debasement when he deemed fit to humiliate her than change the power dynamic.

Levi didn't push her any further. He was glad when she didn't obey right away. He wanted this to be hard for her. He knew that ultimately she would submit, but it was more fun if he pushed her limits and there was some power struggle. While she grappled with her pride, he took another swig off the bottle of Syrah.

He kept talking just so she wouldn't get too much in her head. "Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy hurting you, but more than that I enjoy breaking your will and making you submit to me." He applied a little more pressure between her shoulders. "Trying to be a manipulative little bitch the way you were last night isn't very submissive is it?"

"Hnngh," Erna groaned. She felt truly, hopelessly trapped. He clearly wasn't going to let her get out of this. She thought briefly about begging. That might placate him. Maybe if she could sound especially pathetic… As quickly as she thought of it, she pushed the idea away. That kind of manipulative thought process was what got her here with her nose pressed against Levi's boot. It smelled like dirt and leather. Dirt didn't bother her, so she didn't think it was so bad, especially since he could probably think of much worse things to have her do, but she was still having a lot of difficulty with it. It was because he put her in a position where she couldn't be passive. It was different from when he humiliated her. With this, he was asking her to humiliate herself and that was so much harder. It made her feel naked – even though she literally was, it felt different. For the first time in a long time, she felt embarrassed and vulnerable. She felt a sinking feeling in her gut that she normally only felt when falling quickly from a great height. She felt like she couldn't do it. Her mind rebelled against the thought of following through with it and made her dizzy. She could hear the wine slosh in the bottle as Levi tipped it to take another sip and she thought that he was probably loving this.

Levi rolled his boot back on its heel, curling the toe up to press against her lips. He said darkly, "I don't want to have to tell you again."

That was the little push over the edge that Erna needed. She finally let go of the stranglehold that she had on her vanity and opened her mouth to press against the leather and follow it as he flattened his sole on the floor again. Once she got over that hurdle it was easy. She kept licking without hesitation and the sinking feeling slowly ebbed away.

Levi hummed, "Mmm… Fuck… You little bitch…" The sight of her on the floor, licking him like a dog made him hotter than he thought it would. It was the fact that she hated it. His baser instinct told him to throw her over the couch and fuck her like an animal, but she would like that too much and that wasn't the point of this little exercise. He breathed deeply, tried to ignore his stiff cock enough to keep things under control. He took his boot off of her back, she had to clean both of them after all.

His voice sounded deep and husky to Erna as he explained the point of all this to her. "You wouldn't have been a wildly disobedient little whore last night if you had thought your punishment would be something you loathe so much."

He paused and let that fact sink in, but also he paused to concentrate on watching her lick from the toe of his boot to the instep. He hummed and closed his eyes. It was hard to control himself. He wanted to make her writhe in pain. He could picture her flinching from his hands, then leaning into him and begging for more, a mess of mixed signals.

Erna could tell from his voice that he was thoroughly enjoying her debasement and she hoped that would mean an early reprieve. Maybe he would let her lick his cock instead of his boots. The boots weren't terrible. They didn't taste like anything until she hit a spot splashed by wine where there was a strong fermented taste, musty and bitter. The only very unpleasant part was the faint traces of dry dirt that left a sandy, dry dusty texture in her mouth. She wondered if she could get away with avoiding touching her tongue to the grit. Would he care? Did he really want his boots clean or did he just want her dignity?

"I've definitely been going about you all wrong," he said evilly. "Trying to punish you with pain or treating you like a fucktoy obviously isn't going to work. You love it too much and you act like a bitch to get more. It was almost cute at first, but your episode last night made me decide we'll need a new system if I don't want you to turn into a wild little bitch who throws things at me when she wants to get beaten and fucked." He took another sip and added, "That was really unacceptable by the way. Those bottles you smashed were priceless. Probably irreplaceable. I should have fucked you with one of the broken shards." He could see her shudder at that. So she was listening. He palmed his cock through his white pants with his free hand.

"So from now on, pain is going to be a reward… if you can manage to be good for more than five minutes."

Erna paused and tilted her head to look up at him and nod that she understood, her eyes looking big and helpless. He couldn't stand it. He narrowed his eyes at her and wordlessly nudged her chin with the toe of his other boot. She promptly put her head back down again and got back to work.

"Humiliation is going to be your punishment now, since you have such a hard time with it," he sneered as she began licking his other boot. "You put so much effort into being taken seriously at work. So much of your concentration set on being intimidating enough so that people won't perceive what a submissive, worthless little pain slut you really are." He saw her stiffen. He had struck a nerve. He wondered if he should twist it further or if that would be too much for her. He couldn't hold it back. He liked pushing her too much.

"How seriously do you think anyone in the Survey Corps would be able to take you if they knew that I could make you lick my boots like a dog whenever I wanted? If they knew how easy it is to get you to beg me to fuck your tight little cunt like your life depends on it?" She didn't stop or slow down in running her tongue over his boots, but he watched her closely and could see her muscles go stiff.

Erna felt dizzy. The sinking feeling came back, worse this time. She felt a mess of emotions. Humiliated and powerless, but somehow aroused by her loss of dignity and self-agency and turned on by the shame of it. It was the most intense emotional rush she had ever experienced.

"The next time you want to try to manipulate me, remember that I can always bend you over my lap and spank you somewhere more public." Levi tilted his head back and closed his eyes, imagining just that for a moment. He unbuttoned his pants and took out his throbbing cock, tugging it in long, languid strokes and looking down again to watch her. She wasn't struggling so much with the humiliation now that he'd given her an idea of how much worse it could be. She nuzzled the inside of his ankle as she kept licking.

"Hurry up, you dirty little slut." He filled his voice with bemused contempt and she reacted beautifully, eagerly licking every inch of his boots until there were no stains or marks visible. When she was done, she looked up and stared hungrily at his cock.

"Sit up," he ordered her.

Erna straightened up, relieved to stretch her back. She watched Levi stroke his cock and hoped the punishment part was over. She wanted to get the bitter taste and grit out of her mouth. Her tongue was all dry, but the more she stared, the less that was a problem as she could never look at his cock without salivating. She couldn't help leaning forward, intending to suck on it, but he stopped her with his voice full of a perfect mix of lust and feigned disgust.

"Don't you dare touch me with that filthy mouth, ma petite salope."

It was her wide-eyed look of utter disappointment and dejection at not being allowed to suck his cock that pushed him over the edge. He felt heat and pressure build up as he told her to open her mouth and he aimed right for her tongue. Careful not to let even the head touch her lips, he shot his cum into her mouth. When he was done and had caught his breath, he brought his fingers to her chin again. She closed her mouth and swallowed. He had to smile a little at the disgusted face she made.

He held the wine bottle out. "You want some of this?"

She nodded eagerly. As he tipped the bottle towards her, she opened her mouth again, but he pulled it away before even a drop hit her tongue and he poured a couple of ounces out onto the floor in front of her instead.

She made a whining sound and gave him a confused look.

He shrugged. "With how you were behaving last night, I thought you preferred wine on the floor."

She looked mournfully down at the deep burgundy puddle in front of her.

Levi took another long draught from the bottle just to rub it in. "In any case, for your shitty behavior last night and the past couple of weeks, you're being demoted from 'fucktoy' to 'cleaning implement.'" He nodded at the wine on the floor. "If you can clean that up well enough, maybe you can get promoted to 'lovely piece of furniture' before the night's over. You could probably be a passable coffee table or ottoman if you could hold still."

Erna let out a deep breath through her nose rather than sigh audibly. She didn't want to risk getting punished further for any snarky attitude or sass. For a second her eyes flashed as she wondered what he would do if she swept his legs out from under him and made him fall on his ass and smash that precious wine bottle. He would have to hurt her then, right? But that would only be in the immediate future and then what? Probably something much more humiliating than this. She hoped he appreciated how hard it was for her to be good. She bent down, touched her tongue to the liquid, and decided she would never tease Levi about his OCD cleanliness again. She was very grateful that the floor was nearly perfectly clean but for the spilled wine.

As she lapped at the puddle in broad strokes, pressing her tongue against the stone, she had a flashback to the only other time he had made her do anything like this – when he'd made her lick the kitchen floor and she'd moaned at the feeling of his boot against her back. She thought that he was probably right – that she was spoiled. Or just taking it for granted that she could get his attention in whatever form she wanted whenever she wanted. She liked that he was shattering that illusion for her. It made everything feel new again. Made her heart race. Made her feel lucky to have something that she wanted and cared about.

Erna lapped up the excess, felt pretty pleased with herself, and looked up at Levi, awaiting his approval and fully expecting praise of some sort. What she got instead was a cold glare and a "Does that look fucking clean to you?"

Her heart sank a little. She went to lower her head again. He helped her out, pushing her face down against the floor with his boot. She found her face pressed on its side against the floor. He pushed it around a little and used her hair as a sort of mop as he said, "There are two things I can't tolerate: Filth and the waste of good wine."

When the force pushing her head down disappeared, Erna rose slowly to her knees, feeling pretty dejected and miserable and showing it all on her face with pouty lips and pleading eyes.

Levi carelessly tipped the bottle to his lips again. It was almost half empty. He glanced at her and asked, "Did you want to say something?"

Erna hesitated for a moment, but went ahead and spoke. "Can I make a request?" That seemed humble enough to be safe.

He raised an eyebrow at her disdainfully. "Only because I'm curious. Go ahead." He looked at the bottle, trying to decide if he should go ahead and drink more or save it.

"Can I take a shower?" there was a pleading, whining quality to her voice. "Please?"

Levi decided to save the wine. He walked past her and set the bottle on the coffee table. He toyed with her. "Do you think that sounds fair? I haven't gotten to shower yet. You keep me busy."

Her tone turned desperate. "Please? It's all sticky and gross and I hate it. This is the worst. I promise I'll be good. I won't be a bitch anymore or try to manipulate you. I'm sooo sorry, please just let me wash my hair." She didn't mind dirt, but being sticky and wet with wine was something else entirely.

He moved to stand in front of her again. He smirked, "Oh you don't need to promise. I'm not even done punishing you. When I am, I'm sure you'll be too afraid to be anything but my good little slut."

She squirmed and rubbed her thighs together, stifling a small moan from escaping her mouth. She loved when he threatened her, but she really felt like she couldn't stand it another second. "Please?" she tried again.

He sighed as if this really put him out. "Go ahead, only because the sight of you disgusts me." He lied. She still looked beautiful to him even when she was a mess.

The insult didn't faze her in the slightest. She hopped up, excited at the prospect of a little hot water and soap. No matter how much he tore her down, she still had a lot of spark.

,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

Erwin Smith was the kind of man who needed to keep moving. If he had work to do, he did it all at a fast clip, never resting, and the more he worked the more he couldn't let himself take a moment because if he sat down or took a breather, he wouldn't be able to get back up. So when he arrived at Levi's door, it was straight from seeing that every last thing was taken care of and sorted and being assured that not one more detail needed his attention. He rapped one courtesy knock on the door before entering, immediately stepping to the side of the door and removing his boots – he knew the rules too well. He'd been reminded many times. He hadn't had reason to visit since Erna had moved in though, so it was a little disorienting to see two pairs of boots next to the door.

It was a lot more disorienting when he actually looked up to see the scene in the living room of Levi, sitting on the couch – at a passing glance, Erwin's brain interpreted the shape on the floor in front of Levi's feet as the coffee table, because the brain will often alter the interpretation of a strange image so that it makes sense. But when he forced himself to really look instead he saw in reality that the coffee table was Erna, naked on her hands and knees, blindfolded and gagged, a tray with a wine bottle and glasses balanced on her back. Levi had one arm lazily draped over the back of the couch. He nodded to acknowledge Erwin's presence and then leaned forward, picked up the already uncorked wine bottle and poured him a glass as if everything was completely and utterly normal.

Erwin didn't even know what to say. He started speaking anyway. "Levi…"

Levi extended his hand with the wine glass out for Erwin to take it. "What?" He looked like he really didn't know.

Erwin closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, and sighed. He couldn't even tell if this was one of those times where Levi was fucking with him or not. He was too good at maintaining that blank expression.

"What?" Levi asked again, this time having the gall to sound annoyed, as if Erwin was the one behaving strangely.

Erwin opened his eyes, gave Levi a serious look, lips set in a straight line and brow knitted, and he nodded at Erna. He wasn't going to ask. He shouldn't have to. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation.

Levi rested the wine glass on his knee, still looking as if he didn't get what Erwin's deal was. He followed the commander's gaze down and actually looked surprised for a moment when his eyes rested on Erna. "Oh, that. I completely forgot she was there. Don't pay any attention to her, she's not a person right now. She can't even hear you." He tapped his ear as he explained, "Earplugs."

Erwin brought his palm to his face and shook his head. Levi went on, "I thought you were looking at me weird because of the clothes or something."

Again Erwin couldn't tell if Levi was fucking with him. He sounded like he was being genuine, but this was also his sense of humor. Completely dry, deadpan, never leaving any hints as to whether he was being serious or sarcastic and watching people squirm because of it. If this was one of those moments where he was trying to be shocking and make him uncomfortable, Erwin was determined to not give him the satisfaction. He kept his face stoic, strode over to Levi, taking the offered wine glass and setting himself in an arm chair. He fought the impulse to drain the glass in one gulp. He answered Levi, "It _is_ always strange seeing you out of uniform. Sometimes I barely recognize you without the cravat."

After he had showered, Levi had thrown on a pair of grey slacks and a black button-down shirt. Leaving the cuffs and collar unbuttoned was as casual as he got. Erwin was right, usually if he wasn't wearing the uniform, he was naked. He refilled his own glass on the tray on Erna's back and held it up, "_Santé_." ("Cheers" in French / literally "Health.")

Erwin nodded and raised his glass, "_Prost_." ("Cheers" in German)

"I'm never out of uniform anymore. All I do is work and sleep," Levi said after taking a long sip of the Syrah. He was determined to drain the bottle before the end of the night. He hated re-corking wine.

"And this?" Erwin nodded towards Erna, who had remained perfectly still this entire time, not even breathing noticeably. Erwin could actually almost see how Levi could have forgotten about her.

"This isn't routine," Levi answered, looking down at her almost regretfully. "She's being punished." He drained his glass and set it back on the tray. He changed the subject. "You didn't bring cigars."

"I didn't stop at my room. Besides, you're supposed to be bribing _me_." Erwin didn't ask why Levi was punishing Erna. Though he did wonder, he didn't want to seem too interested. As Levi got up to go search through his pack over in the corner, he watched her intently. He didn't want to be caught staring, but it was naturally difficult to look away from something so unusual. At least that's what he told himself. He didn't want to admit to himself that seeing Erna completely senseless and objectified did anything for him – that in this way she was much more appealing to him. She was parallel to the couch, so she was facing him in the armchair. He let his eyes roam over her face. A white cloth was tied tight around her eyes, probably Levi's cravat, and her pretty mouth was stretched around a black ball gag so that she could make very little recognizable expression with her face. He couldn't tell if she was thinking or feeling anything and he preferred it that way. As Levi removed bottles from his pack, looking for something particular, Erwin had to ask, "Where did you even get a ball gag anyway?"

Levi's immediate retort was, "Why? Do you want one?"

That shut Erwin up. He drained his wine glass. Then he cursed himself in his head. He had trapped himself. Now he needed a refill. If he didn't take the bottle from the tray on Erna's back, Levi would know he had succeeded in making him uncomfortable and he would love that. Making people uncomfortable seemed to be his favorite pastime next to killing titans.

Erwin got up from his seat and took the bottle of Syrah off of Erna without hesitation, quickly trying to ignore the curve of her back and her perfectly pale, smooth skin. He went to refill his glass, then stopped, holding the bottle out and noticing how little was left. "You drank all of this?"

Levi didn't even turn around. "Yes. I'm fairly shitfaced."

Erwin smiled and poured the last of it into his glass. He should have guessed. It was difficult to tell when Levi was actually drunk with the single facial expression and tone of voice, and he never slurred or stumbled, but there were tiny hints Erwin had learned to pick up on after so many times drinking with him. He could be slightly more amiable when drunk – not much. Not enough to be a friendly person, but enough to be relatively friendly for him. Back when they had more time and drank together more, Mike and Hange had observed that drinking made Levi drastically more compulsive and aggressive about the cleaning. Hange's theory was that lowered inhibitions for Levi meant a lowered grasp on the control he had over his mysophobia and OCD, but when she'd made that observation to a sober Levi, he had calmly taken her glasses and crushed them to pieces, so it wasn't something they talked about. Erwin also thought he had a tendency to joke more, but it was still impossible to tell when he was joking or not, so he wasn't completely sure about that one. But he did know that Levi liked to smoke when he was drunk. That must have been why he brought up the cigars. Erwin kept them in his office for whatever could be counted as a special occasion, though those were few and far between, so mostly the cigars were there for when Levi got drunk enough to barge into Erwin's office and demand he smoke one with him, which was a rare enough occurrence to be counted as a kind of special occasion.

After ripping open the other pack, Levi found what he was looking for. He took a bottle in each hand and walked over to hold them out to Erwin. "You can have the Merlot or the Cabernet."

Erwin frowned slightly and furrowed his brow. "There weren't any whites?"

Levi scowled at him, "White wine is shit." He dropped the bottles to his sides. "There was plenty, but I didn't take any of it. I wasn't planning on needing any graft for you."

Erwin clucked his tongue, "Poor planning then." He reached for the Cabernet, taking it and offering the empty Syrah bottle in exchange.

Levi took the empty bottle and carelessly threw it into the fireplace. "The _plan_ was to get back here after sunset and go the fuck to sleep. Not get back early and have you hanging on my dick about reports." He patted his pockets, trying to remember which one he'd put the corkscrew in and muttering, "Next time I'll get you a fruity fucking Riesling or some shit."

"How did you get back so far ahead of schedule anyway?"

Levi found the corkscrew in his shirt pocket. As he screwed it into the bottle of Merlot Erwin had passed up, he muttered "…was a fucking shitshow." He popped the cork out, tossed that into the fireplace too. He pointed at the bottle in Erwin's hand with the corkscrew and asked, "Are you drinking that now? Or," he held up the Merlot, "do I have to share this?"

Erwin smiled. He wasn't going to let Levi drink an entire new bottle by himself even if his tolerance was very high for a man of his stature. He didn't say that. He just held his glass out and let Levi refill it. He sat down in the armchair again and asked, "How could it have been that bad? You didn't even lose anyone."

"Lost my fucking sanity…" Levi muttered to himself as he put the corkscrew back in his pocket. "We got back so early because this one," he pointed to Erna with the bottle before filling his glass, "and fucking Shit-Glasses woke everyone up at the ass-crack of dawn, let a titan go full wrecking ball on about an eighth of the large buildings in the town before killing it." He stepped around Erna and slumped on the couch. "I don't mind killing all of the giant, ugly, human-eating monsters we come across, but I can't fucking control your batshit insane troops. My hair's going to start turning grey. This is supposed to be your shitty job. They should be driving you crazy."

Erwin smiled warmly, "You can handle it." He watched Levi drain his glass and refill it. He drank a little faster to keep up. "Besides, can't be as bad as you, Hange, and Mike used to be. I've earned a break."

"Mikasa tried to kill Kirschtein." Levi leaned over and handed Erwin the bottle.

"You ran a gambling ring in your barracks." Erwin replied.

"Harmless card games. You're exaggerating."

"You took all the money you won, which amounted to about 60% of the entire Survey Corps' earnings for that month, and used it to buy more cleaning supplies."

Levi pointed at Erna again, "This one smashed four priceless wine bottles just to try and get a rise out of me."

Erwin countered that. "Hange accidentally made a stink bomb in her lab and we had to evacuate headquarters."

"And weren't you glad for the extra cleaning supplies then?" Levi smiled.

Erwin had a nearly endless list. "You and Mike stole stationary from my desk and sent out a memo that said all female troops from then on were to address me as… What was it? Commander Handsome?"

"It's Commander Eyebrows now."

Erwin frowned. He wasn't even going to dignify that with a response. He refilled his glass even though it wasn't completely empty yet. He went to put the bottle back on the table, forgetting for a second that the table was actually a person, it was either the wine or it was how incredibly still Erna was being. He gently set the bottle down, "And this. I can only think this is another of your childish attempts at making me uncomfortable. You're never going to grow up."

Levi was down to half a glass already. He drank wine like it was water and he was a man on fire. "Oh, everything's about you, isn't it?" he sneered. "No, I wasn't even thinking about it." He gulped down the rest of what was in his glass and brought his legs up onto the couch, hooking his arm over the back and dangling the empty glass. He tilted his head back, closed his eyes, and groaned. "She's too fucking good at being a table. I wasn't lying when I said I forgot she was there."

Erwin's gaze trailed over Erna's face, the wine made him feel less inhibited about staring. He was nearly faultless in his professionalism and had never felt tempted to look at his recruits as sexual objects. It wasn't even the fact that it would be unethical, which it would with his position of power. It was easy for him to be celibate because he never even felt tempted. He had as much of a distaste for dealing with human feelings as Levi had for dirt, and sex always came with too many emotions attached with it to seem appealing. He took in Erna's slight curves, beautiful and delicate-looking in a way he had never registered before, he found it much easier to appreciate her body with some of her humanity stripped away by the extreme objectification. This way she was like a beautiful, fuckable piece of art instead of a complicated mess of feelings and motivations.

Levi lifted his head, opening his eyes again, caught Erwin's staring and smirked at him. "I'm sorry."

Erwin shifted in the chair uncomfortably, not only because he'd been caught off guard lost in thoughts he normally didn't entertain, but also he'd never heard Levi apologize for anything. "What for?"

"I should have realized this would be problematic for you." He reached out and tapped the tray on Erna's back twice. Her muscles stiffened momentarily. He tilted his head back again and waved his empty glass around. "It doesn't really do anything for me, which is why I forgot about her being there, but it makes sense that this would push your fetish buttons. Of course you would prefer for people to be things. I should have thought of that earlier."

Erwin tried to lie. "I was only staring because I was concerned about how long you've left her there like that. It looks like a painful position to hold." He kept his tone aloof.

"If that's the reason you're pitching half a tent over there, then you're as much a sadist as I am." Levi gestured towards the bulge in Erwin's crotch with his empty glass before taking the Merlot and filling it again. He got up and went over to the fireplace, setting the bottle down on the mantle.

Erwin winced a little. He was cornered with no way to back pedal. He closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, and smiled. "You caught me. Are you happy now?" He thought if he at least honestly acknowledged it then Levi would drop the subject.

"Very, actually." He leaned against the fireplace mantle, bringing his fingertips to his forehead and seeming to think for a second. He drank some more, took a sidelong glance at Erwin, caught him staring again. "If you're so worried about her discomfort, there is actually something you could do that would make me mitigate her punishment."

Erwin looked at Levi, raised an eyebrow in inquiry. He didn't think it could be anything good.

"Don't look so concerned. Basically all you have to do is hold still." Levi returned to the couch, took the silver tray off of Erna's back and set it on a side table. She shifted a little, trying to distribute some of her weight off of her knees and elbows, relaxed her neck slightly.

Levi reached out and tucked a curl behind her ear. She leaned into his hand, supple and yielding. He watched her as he said, "This actually works out perfectly. I wish I'd planned it. I've been trying to share her, but she's so fucking resistant to it." Erna stretched her arms out in front of her, lowering her chin to the floor in a slinky stretch exactly like a cat. Levi smiled a little evilly, "I'm thinking a few hours of sensory deprivation has probably made her more open and agreeable."

Erwin started to open his mouth to ask exactly what Levi was talking about, but he stopped himself when Levi took out one of Erna's earplugs and leaned over her asking, "Do you want to be a fucktoy again instead of a piece of furniture?" She didn't try to make a sound around the ball gag, she just nodded her head in the affirmative. Levi grabbed her by her hair and gave her a pull to make her crawl forward to Erwin until she was on her knees in front of his chair. He leaned down again to tell her, "All you have to do is suck someone else's cock and I'll be done punishing you. Fair?" He replaced the earplug, he still didn't want her to hear or see anything, but he removed the ball gag and gave her a shove forward. Her hands flew out in front of her, catching herself on Erwin's lap. He lifted his wine glass before she could make him spill it. Levi took the glass from his hand, tipped his head back, drank all that was left in it, and moved back to the mantelpiece to retrieve the wine again.

Erwin was in total shock. He looked at Levi, who was now facing away from him and pouring himself another glass, then back down at Erna who was shifting herself to kneel more comfortably and running her hands over his legs, trying to get her bearings.

Erwin said to Levi's back, trying to sound nonchalant and stoic still, "I would have pinned you for the more jealously possessive type."

Levi turned and smirked slightly, "And I thought you knew me so well. I'm much more perverted than you give me credit for."

Erna rested her hands on Erwin's knees, pushed them apart, and settled herself between his legs. She splayed her fingers out and ran them up his thighs, pressing down as if she were trying to feel the contours of his muscles. Levi strode over quickly and gave her a sharp smack on the thigh, making her yelp. Erwin gave him a look and he explained, "She's trying to figure out who you are. If you want to be anonymous, don't let her fuck around."

The smack seemed to be enough to get that message across though. Erna made no further delay in finding Erwin's bulge, tearing at his buttons, and tugging at his pants insistently. He gave Levi one last look, "You're sure?"

"Have you known me to ever be unsure of anything?"

Erwin conceded, "Good point." He raised his hips a little to let Erna hook her fingers into the waist of his pants and underwear and pull them down and off completely in one swift motion. He hummed as her hand found his shaft and she lightly ran her fingers up, over the head, and back down to grip at the base and pump slowly, only halfway up and down. He sighed and leaned back in the chair, stretching his legs out a little and letting her pick her own pace. Even though it had been a long time since his last one night stand in the city, he had no trouble being patient.

Levi went back to the fireplace again, dispensing with glasses, he took the Merlot and drank directly from the bottle. He was surprised he hadn't thought of the blindfold thing before. This way, when Erna woke up in the morning she would be crazy wondering who she had sucked off. He smirked to himself, thinking about how long he would let her wonder. Maybe he would never tell her.

Erna held Erwin's cock at the base and curled her tongue around the side, gliding it up and flicking over the slit before flattening it against the underside of his shaft and lapping at it in long strokes. His eyes half closed, he enjoyed letting her toy with it. He was a larger than average man and his cock was about proportional to his body, if not a little bigger than necessary, but it looked even bigger juxtaposed against her small, delicate fingers and petal pink lips. He wasn't even sure her jaw would be able to stretch enough to fit around it. She released her hand's grip on his base and finally took him in her mouth, only just barely, taking his head in her lips and sucking on it like a lollipop. He hummed and almost bucked his hips up to fuck past her lips and into her throat, but he restrained himself.

She tried to distract him with her tongue, swirling it around the head and flicking over the slit, pressing him against the roof of her mouth as she sucked a little harder. Meanwhile her hands strayed to his legs and abs. She rested one forearm on his thigh, trying to get a feel for how long his legs were and the other pushed his shirt up and out of the way. Her fingers splayed again as they tried to memorize the size and contours of muscles. He had no doubt that she was smart enough to figure him out if he let her take in enough information. He grabbed both of her wrists, took her hands off of him and lifted his hips to thrust a little further into her mouth, just as a warning. When he released her wrists, she slipped him out of her mouth, used one hand to swirl her saliva from around his head and down his shaft, pumping the upper half of his cock. She put the other free hand between her legs, giving up for now. She kept stroking his cock and she licked at his balls, gently and lazily sucking them into her mouth one at a time, making him moan out a "Fuck…"

Levi raised his eyebrows. He had literally never heard Erwin curse even once. He offered some advice. "If you don't get rough with her, she's just going to keep teasing you. She's trying to make you lose your mind."

Erwin inhaled sharply. "She's succeeding," he groaned. He laced his fingers in her hair and gently lifted her head up, guiding her mouth to the tip of his cock again and pressing against her lips. She parted her lips just a little to lick at his head again, but he pushed up past them and in until he hit the back of her mouth. He thrust a little shallowly, took hold of his base and angled his cock to stretch out her cheek before sliding it out with a pop and thrusting back in again before she could close her lips. He put both hands in her hair and guided her lips up and down his cock, he wanted to get it nice and lubricated before he tried fucking her mouth any deeper.

Levi felt he was done watching. He was too hard for just watching despite how much wine he'd consumed. He finished off the last few drops of the bottle in his hand and set it down. He unbuttoned his shirt, took off his pants, and folded them and set them on the couch because when he was drunk it was harder to fight that obsessive compulsion to keep everything neat. Erwin stayed focused on loosening up Erna's jaw as Levi got on his knees behind her, pulling her hips back and up. He wasn't even inside her yet, but she whimpered and moaned around Erwin's cock, making him throw his head back and hum and thrust further, hitting her throat. Levi guided her hips until his cock was pressing against her entrance. She was more than wet enough, but he didn't push into her. He just held the base of his cock steady for her. Since her mouth was occupied, he wanted her to beg for it with her body. He wanted her to fuck herself on it like a cock-hungry little slut. He didn't have to wait more than a second before she realized he wasn't slamming inside her and she rocked her hips back desperately.

Erwin bit his lip unconsciously as she keened and whined with his dick in her mouth. He wanted to feel those vocal chords around the tip of him. He tilted her head, angling it a little better, still keeping his rhythm fucking her mouth as she pressed herself onto Levi's cock. Levi didn't move or help her get it deeper. He just leaned back and watched her fuck herself, her hips rocking in the same rhythm as Erwin fucked his big fat cock into her mouth.

When Erwin hit up against the back of her mouth again and made her gag a little, her muscles stiffened and she tightened up around Levi's cock harder than he'd ever felt any of the times he made her come. He pitched forward, put his hand on the small of her back to hold her still, "Unh.. Fuck.. Fuck.. Hold on.." Erwin stopped, mildly concerned as Levi hooked an arm around Erna's waist and the other around one thigh, lifting her up while staying inside her and bringing her onto the couch with him, bending her over the armrest. Levi caught his breath, held Erna's hips for a few seconds, fought to keep her still as she kept trying to rock her hips and fuck herself. He gestured for Erwin to stand up. "Better position… can fuck her throat… without the gag reflex…"

Erwin smirked at how much Erna's little full body muscle spasm had thrown Levi off. He'd never seen him flustered.

Levi lost his grip for a second and Erna quickly thrust herself back again, taking him up to the base and rocking against him, making him throw his head back like he'd been punched. "Ah, fuck!" One hand flew to her waist and gripped her hard, holding her still again, "Give me a second, you little bitch!" He said it more to himself, knowing she couldn't hear him anyway. He gave her ass a hard smack to get his point across, but that didn't really help to encourage her to stay still. It had the opposite effect actually.

Erwin let out a low, slight chuckle at Levi's frustration. He stood up and moved to stand at the end of the couch. He put a hand on Erna's head and pulled her face a little over the edge of the armrest. He wasn't slow or gentle this time. He pushed right past her lips and all the way up to the base, feeling her go stiff as his cock pushed deep into her throat and cut off her air. He closed his eyes and hummed, rolling his hips forward a little, her nose pressed against his pelvic bone. He knotted his fist in her hair keeping a tight hold on her head as she struggled to pull away and breathe again. When he let her pop up, she took in deep gulps of air.

Levi raised an eyebrow, "Impressive. Just don't kill her."

Erwin simply nodded and when Erna's breathing wasn't so ragged, he tightened his fist in her hair and pushed past her lips again, thrusting into her throat and withdrawing so that she could find chances to breathe and he could still feel her throat tighten around his cock and vibrate as she moaned.

Levi stopped holding her & leaned back to let her fuck herself on his cock again. After a few minutes he felt like he was going mad. It felt incredible, but he kept getting up to the edge of cumming and then drifting back down because Erna kept trying to fuck herself faster and harder than Erwin was fucking her mouth. She would succeed for a bit, then get thrown off by the different tempos again, repeatedly getting him close and then losing it. After about the fifth time she picked up a fast rhythm and lost it, he concurrently lost his patience. He dug his fingers into her hips and slammed his entire length into her, making her moan and pushing her forward, making her choke her moan out around Erwin's cock.

Erwin's head tipped back, eyes closed as he cursed under his breath and rolled his hips forward wanting nothing more than to feel more of Erna's tight throat squeezing and moaning around him.

Levi didn't let up, didn't want to give her a chance to move on her own. Reached down and lightly rubbed fingers over her clit to discourage her from trying, let her know she'd get taken care of. She arched her back for him, melting around his hands as he drove into her again and again.

Erwin didn't pull back, he let his cock stay in her throat, her orgasm was building and she didn't care enough to try to fight for air. He let go of her hair and slid his hand down to her jaw, lightly clutching her neck and caressing her jawline with his thumb. Her tongue lolled and she relaxed, got more malleable, it was easier to stretch her out with his cock when he rocked his hips back and forward. There was less resistance, so he went faster. He couldn't tell if she was moaning and choking back screams for him or Levi anymore because she was turning pliable and shivering in ecstasy every time he blocked her airways as if she liked being choked on his cock.

She seemed to forget herself a little. Her jaw relaxed and she just barely grazed him with her teeth. Erwin's breathing and thrusting both became hurried and erratic. He almost forgot to take into consideration, "Levi… Where…?"

Levi was momentarily distracted from watching his cock ram into Erna. "Um… Fuck…" he hissed through his teeth. He looked around, but he had nothing. He didn't want to clean up a mess. "Just make her swallow it."

Erwin's voice was a low rumble, "Poor planning again." He laughed a little in between grunting and thrusting.

"Cocky prick." Levi slammed his cock into Erna up to the hilt as he leaned over her, grabbed the back of her head and pushed it down, choking her completely on Erwin's cock. Erwin immediately stopped any laughing and threw his head back, losing control and rutting into her throat in short, frantic thrusts. Levi thought that Erna came first, she held completely still for just a moment before trying to scream as her already tight little cunt contracted around him and dripped down his length. But Erwin came only a second, (if that) after, eyes glazing over completely and hunching over, hands going to Erna's hair and holding her there as he thrust forward to cum deep in her throat, giving her no choice about swallowing. He held himself there, head lolling back, forgetting all sense of self until Erna finally struggled and found his thigh with her nails, digging in and clawing at him. He pulled his still rock hard cock out of her throat and she frantically gasped for air.

The corners of Levi's lips curled up a little, "I told you… need to let her breathe occasionally."

"Oh my fucking god," Erwin muttered, completely in a daze. He'd fucking needed that. He took a few steps back, found the armchair, and sunk into it, feeling heavy and useless. He kept cursing under his breath.

Levi worked Erna's clit while he fucked her, trying to make her come again. It was normally so easy, he wondered what took her so long about it this time. His brow furrowed in thought. It couldn't be that she was tired; she'd been more tired than this times before when he'd coaxed a fourth or fifth orgasm from her. She was moaning and whimpering underneath him, digging her fingers into the cushions, but obviously not getting there. He was so preoccupied with it now, he wouldn't be able to cum until he could make her. Suddenly it dawned on him what the big difference was. Without breaking his rhythm, he leaned over her, popped the earplugs from her ears and fisted a handful of her hair, pulling her head back until her ear was close to his mouth. "You're not done. Come one more time for me, you filthy little whore."

She moaned and whimpered out unintelligibly something like _I can't_. He pulled her hair back a little harder and brought his other hand back to smack her ass hard enough to leave a bright red hand mark. His voice was low in her ear, "I don't want to fucking hear that. Worthless little bitch. Fucking give it to me or you can stop being my fuck toy and go back to replacing the furniture." He nipped at her earlobe before whispering, "_Je vais tu ruiner, putain_." (I'm going to wreck you, you whore.")

That finally send her falling over the edge, crying out and shaking as another orgasm lashed through her. He kept going, fucking into her and brushing her clit with his fingers. Whispering in her ear, "_Petite salope chaude_," (Horny little slut) drawing it out, making her pant and spasm and quiver until it seemed like she would break.

His fingers tightened in her hair, he bit her shoulder and made her scream. He kept pumping her with his cock, mind going white until the very last second when he almost forgot to pull out. He felt his cock twitch and he panicked at the suddenness of it, pushed her off of it, whipped her around by her hair, thrust into her gasping mouth just in time. He didn't even realize a string of French curses were flowing from his mouth as he arched his back, loosening his grip on her hair as she gratefully and eagerly swallowed all of him.

Her cheeks hollowed and she sucked on his head just as he finished, which was too much and she knew it. He shuddered and drew his hips back, giving the side of her head a light shove with his hand. She straightened up on her knees and then slumped, nuzzling her face into the couch cushion, fucked out and exhausted, still panting for air. Levi put his feet on the floor, took a second, then stood up. His head swam. He scooped Erna's limp body up to carry her and she nuzzled into his chest, murmuring something impossible to understand. He told Erwin, "I'm putting her to bed."

Erwin gave him the okay sign. Levi gave him an irritated, quizzical look, annoyed that he was using hand signals rather than speaking. Erwin smirked at Levi's drunk forgetfulness and pointed at the discarded earplugs on the floor.

Levi's rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. He forgave himself the idiocy, blaming it on lust and wine. Without another word, he carried Erna into the bedroom and dropped her on the bed. She stretched out, curving and luxuriating in the feeling of something soft. While she got comfortable, he tried to sound stern. "I was going to make you sleep on the floor, but I put you through the wringer, so I guess you've earned the bed."

Erna gripped the comforter, wiggled under it and wrapped it around her, sighing happily, "Merci beaucoup." She tugged at the blindfold, lightly at first, but it was tight, so soon she was pulling hard at it.

"Here." He turned her head towards him, pressing her cheek to the mattress a little. "Don't fucking rip it…" He undid the knot at the back of her head. "… Impatient little bitch."

He went to put the cravat/blindfold away, but she grabbed his wrist tight and held him there. He looked down at her, surprised. Her eyes were closed and she was exhausted, but still had the energy to hold him there so she could ask dreamily, "Who was it?"

He smirked and tugged his wrist from her grasp with only a little difficulty as she drifted off to sleep. "Maybe I'll tell you someday if you're good."

He took a sheet and a pillow from the linen closet and went back out to the living room. Erwin was slumped in the armchair, head tilted back and eyes closed, but still awake. When he heard Levi, he stated matter of factly, "I'm sleeping on your couch."

Levi tossed the sheet and pillow into Erwin's chest, startling him out of his stupor. "Knock yourself out."

As Erwin removed his shirt and jacket, adding them to the pile with his pants and underwear and arranged himself on the couch, Levi tidied up the room. He wouldn't be able to sleep knowing everything was out of place. He moved the coffee table back, disposed of empty bottles and glasses, picked up his own discarded clothes and fought the urge to fold Erwin's into a neat pile. He felt a compulsion to dust and started moving things to do so, but Erwin grumbled, "Levi, go the fuck to sleep."

Levi paused, deciding whether to ignore him and keep cleaning or not. Erwin sensed the hesitation and added, "It's an order."

Levi couldn't resist sniping, "Yes sir, Commander Eyebrows." He gave the couch a kick as he walked past to go to the bedroom.

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**(A/N) The past two chapters were born out of my simple crack head cannon that Levi would like **_**really**_** like wine because French. My very simplistic, stereotypical idea of French people is that they really like wine and bread. That's pretty much it. Oh, also I think they smoke a lot, but I can't really imagine a chain smoking Levi because smoke and ashes are so dirty. So yeah. **

**Don't ever doubt that I am working on this. In every spare moment I have, this thing is all I am doing. If it takes me a while to update, that just means it's going to be a really long chapter, probably one with a long-awaited threesome. So yay.**

**Thank you for reading this long, smutty thing. I love you.**


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